feeling like I can't take it!!

[helenpizzey]

I'm about to go to sleep because I'm hoping it's just a bad day but I'm so upset I feel like I'm having a break down. I can't wait a minimum of 18 months for the surgery, I feel disgusting everyday, my best friend who I only see once a year has asked me to go up to see her next weekend and iv said no because I can't bare to be seen. Iv put on a stone over the last 2 months. I'm thinking of forgetting the surgery and just doing the shake diet even though I know it's just a fad diet but the thought of waiting over a year scares me.

 

[Crystalrainbow]

Am pretty certain many of us have been in that same place.... I know for one have been there many times.... doing a fad diet right now to help you feel in a better space is ok....why not? unfortunately surgery takes as long as it takes....there are processes to go thru ....don't drive yourself mad in the meantime.... take things into your own hands..... do something pro active once things start to move it will be like a whirlwind.... don't wish your life away either hun..... in the blink of an eye I am 18 months post op I may be slimmer but those head thoughts still remain!!! whatever you decided to do don't give up on the surgery....see it thru to the end...... it is very much worth the wait..... it prepares you for post op............ just remember the nhs has many folks in need of many surgery's be patient ...........the best things come to those who wait x x x x x

 

[helenpizzey]

Thanks hun I feel better after sleeping but I do feel like I'm going crazy, I havent even had my first appointment yet!! It'sknowing the operation will help me and it being just out of reach. X

 

[michee]

orr bless you my lovely xxx it's horrible when you're in a dark place but do you know what I bet we have all been there I know I certainly have. I'm waiting for my first appointment too and I'm counting that as day 1 of my weight loss journey, and it is a journey that we all have to jog along!!! On someone's signature it's says something along the lines of it took more than a day to put it on and its gonna take more than a day to loose it and this is so true!!! Please keep posting the amount of support on this site is invaluable and never think you are alone xxx looking forward to reading your weight loss journey xxx


Take care
Michelle xxxx

 

[Loving the Loop]

Don't be discouraged, you have taken the first step we all had to by deciding for your self that you are ready to do something about your situation. We have all turned down social invites and personally I only left the house to go to work and shut myself away every night in the house alone, when I finally realised this wasn't living. I talked to my doctor who was more than supportive about referring me.

That was 2 years ago next week and I am now 2 weeks post op, so I appreciate the process can be lengthy, but you are taking the first step and there is lots you can do in that time.

I was shocked to find out I was 32 stone when I went to the seminar, but rather than getting down and looking for comfort in food as I had all my life I took this is the wake up call and immediately started changing my habits, by the time I had my operation I was down to 25 stone 5lbs which I know is still a lot but from my starting point I am proud off myself and this has helped feel better about myself and handle the 2 years process.

I am now an the 2nd part of the journey post op, but I can completely empathise with your position, so please don't be discouraged or down hearted, do the fad diet as Crystal says use it as a push off on your journey, once you start having your appointments and consultations the months soon pass. I wish you great things on your journey, you will find lots of support on here from people who know exactly how your feeling and what you are going through, I only found the forum 2 weeks ago wish I had been on pre op.

Every journey starts with the first step.

 

[SerenityValley]

Have you ever done a Vlcd / shake diet? If not, I'd say go for it wholeheartedly. I lost 11st in 9 months. I failed to keep it off, hence deciding to get a bypass. I also couldn't wait, so I took a loan to pay for it. I know not everyone can do this but we've managed (meant severely impacting family finances to do it).

If I knew then what I know now, I think I could have kept my vlcd weight off. But I met my wife a couple of months after I finished and started a spiral of accepting each new weight.

If you have done one before, it is harder second time around I found (and third, fourth and tenth). But it could be enough.

Btw, I don't consider them a fad. They do work but as with almost every other diet, you eventually stop. In that respect, it's no different to doing things the conventuals accepted ways. The relapse rate is no worse.

 

[Caroline jess]

I'm sure you know that yes you can lose lots on a vlc shake diet, I have many times and yes you can keep it off. Unfortunately you need to have the ability to change lifelong habits without any of the extra help wls gives you. Sadly most of us don't have this which is why we have regain (and mostly get bigger than we were before) and why we get trapped in a cycle of different diets and in turn we damage our metabolisms more and more.
Can you go to your GP and register (I don't know the procedure as I'm self funded) I think that while they refer you for wls there is lots of other things they help with like counselling, support groups, dieticians and gym discounts.

 

[helenpizzey]

Thanks everyone I really appreciate the support. I have done a vlcd before first time it worked but the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th time it was torture and I just couldn't get past a few days. Unfortunately the weight back on and more. Iv already been referred and iv got my first appointment Sept 10th but it's just knowing it'll be 18 months or more, I don't want put my friends off again and again iv not seen them in over a year but I have to. Hopefully next time they'll see me I'll be 8 stone lighter.

 

[Bonita S]

Darling just take a moment and think back over your life, think about what you were doing a year ago, does that really feel like a year? Time does fly by it really does.

Please listen to an old mare that's been where you are today, somebody that wishes they could turn the clock back, have that year again and be in your shoes. I sure as hell would do it very differently!

Use this time to get yourself as well as you can, I'm not talking about fad diets and trying to lose weight, I'm talking about getting out there and trying to get fit.

Who cares what anybody thinks about you? Two years from now your new slimmer self can stick two fingers up at the rest of the world and you can start to feel better about yourself.

But love your journey does not start on the surgeons table, your journey like everybody else's starts now. You have to be as fit and as well as you can possibly be when your going for surgery so that the recovery process is as easy on your body as it possibly can be.

You also need to take this time to get your head in the right place too which in turn will make the process later so much easier.

I know it's easy for me to sit here and say this, I also know what the exasperation of the whole lengthy process feels like but really in the grand scheme of life what is a year?

 

[helenpizzey]

Bonita the part where you say "*Two years from now your new slimmer self can stick two fingers up at the rest of the world and you can start to feel better about yourself" got me in tears, I can't visualise myself at my goal weight but I sure as hell will be sticking those 2 fingers up! And your right, my little girl turns 3 in October and that feels like yesterday, I moved house a year ago and Im shocked that it's flown by x

 

[Bonita S]

Bonita the part where you say "*Two years from now your new slimmer self can stick two fingers up at the rest of the world and you can start to feel better about yourself" got me in tears, I can't visualise myself at my goal weight but I sure as hell will be sticking those 2 fingers up! And your right, my little girl turns 3 in October and that feels like yesterday, I moved house a year ago and Im shocked that it's flown by x

Lol was tempted to say I'm always right then but will leave that for my other half ...

Seriously there will come a time in the too distant future when you will remember the way you feel now and be kicking yourself. Look through the before and after pics on here and hold on to that because it will soon be you. Meanwhile get out there with your daughter and stop hiding from the world.

 

[los in it]

Just been reading this and my heart is breaking for you
I know I'm very very lucky to be on the other side of this journey and it's very much still a journey like someone as already said it doesn't start on the surgeons table it's all the head work you have to do beforehand the hoops you need to jump through proofing your commitment all this takes the 18 months in some cases last some more so much as changed with all the press regarding WLS and the cost yes it may be costly but when you weight up the overall benefits it should be seen as a good thing shouldn't it? All I can say is stick with it. With all its s##t it may throw at you because at the end will be a new you with journey to tell others of and makes you a stronger person just look at all those just on this site or relying to your post we all each have a tale to tell and have made it to the other side and you will be one of them !
Very good luck keep your chin up and like my tag line says it takes more than a day to put it on so will take more than a day to take it off

 

[SerenityValley]

Ah if you e done a vlcd before, then definitely don't do it. It's almost like a one shot deal.

I did it one final time as my pre op diet, for 15 days and it was utter torture. The first time I did it for many many months and it was a piece of cake.

People are right about time passing (I once wrote a piece for minimins a fear years ago called the passage of time - and it's true, that time will pass anyway). Shame minimins is gone

 

[Gladys Friday]

Hi Helen

I had every intention of going private and contacted people overseas about surgery there. My friend knew a nurse who carries out assessments on people for wls and she told my friend to warn me against going abroad. My husband worries about me so I agreed to staying in this country for my surgery. I went to see a consultant in this country and he said I should go via the NHS as they have a duty of care to me. I said it was me that got myself in this predicament!! He felt I would receive more help with the NHS and that would be much better for me. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I had planned to have the surgery and visit my sister in Australia for her 60th birthday in September having not asking for extra seatbelt. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way and I have had to cancel my trip. Do you know what, I am so glad I have gone via the NHS. You probably think I am crazy but honestly I really am happier. I have been doing a course called "Cornwall Healthy Weight". I wasn't happy about doing it as I already knew what I shouldn't eat but it has been brilliant. I have learnt so much and feel that I am getting myself ready to make my surgery successful for the rest of my life. The consultant referred me for so many things but I am enjoying every bit of it. I may get my surgery before Christmas or I may not but it doesn't really matter as I am preparing my head, body and mind for it when it happens.

The best thing you can do is get out there and live life to the full. Do it for your daughter, to make her life better. Don't hide away you have every right to live your life so don't let other people ruin it for you. Your daughter doesn't see you as fat, she just sees you as her Mummy, the person who is there to protect her and teach her how to go out and do things. Those arms are there to hold your daughter and she can feel protected. Your belly is the space that kept her warm and fed while she was in there. Your legs are somewhere to run behind so she can feel safe whilst peeking out behind them (don't tell me she is 25 years old now!!!) Enjoy every minute with her as the years go past so quickly and you will be disappointed and angry with yourself if you miss those times.

 

[Greencheeks]

Have you tried telling this to your GP?
It can really affect your mental health having to wait and feel worse and eat more in that time.
They may be able to move it along or at least get your some more support in the meantime.

 

[Bonita S]

Ah if you e done a vlcd before, then definitely don't do it. It's almost like a one shot deal.

I did it one final time as my pre op diet, for 15 days and it was utter torture. The first time I did it for many many months and it was a piece of cake.

People are right about time passing (I once wrote a piece for minimins a fear years ago called the passage of time - and it's true, that time will pass anyway). Shame minimins is gone

Wow I remember reading that..... It is a shame it's gone..

 

[SerenityValley]

Yeah i miss minimins. We are lucky this forum is ok, since it span out of minimins. Well i assume we are ok! I thought i knew you from there.

 

[Carrying excess baggage!]

Helen I am soooo with you on this one! Since finding out that the wait is so long I have been so depressed. My quality of life right now is pants! Another 18 months of this does not sit well with me!
My in-laws are visiting next month and I know I can't face them, and will have to pull a sicky! (Not hard given how sick I actually am though, which is why I am desperate for the surgery asap to help my illnesses!)
I hide all the time and put off seeing anyone if I can help it, I am so disgusted and ashamed of myself!
Hang in there hun. (((hugs)))