Feeling so low.

[milliemollymandi1234]

I have my first appointment with the hospital (Salford Royal). I'm so happy and can't wait for the op. I need the surgery for reasons of health and wanting to be there for my son. We have a family history if obesity and related health illnesses. I was so excited and told my family. Husband is great and has been watching documentaries with me.

It's my Mum that I can't get over. We have a friend whom had surgery and it's great for her. She is soo happy. My mum is so supportive of her doing it. When I said I was having the surgery (please god), she said she would not support me.

She says she can't understand why I can't lose the weight and the surgery is a cop out. She's questioned why I can't just lose weight despite everything under active thyroid etc. she question why u would do it when I have a little one . It's because if little one that I am doing this I need to see them grow.

She was the one person who I thought would route for me.

She's asking questions about when time scales etc and I can't tell her anything.

Low day

 

[beepbeepcat]

What did she say?
I haven't told mine as in my diary you'll see, she's a very negative person.

 

[milliemollymandi1234]

What did she say? I haven't told mine as in my diary you'll see, she's a very negative person.

I have updAted post. I tried to get her to watch a clip with me so she understood but she wouldn't.

I an more hurt that she a). Brought my little one into this and b) she supported our friend. I don't get it.

She thinks I'm going into this not knowing what happens as I can't tell her details like dates etc.

 

[beepbeepcat]

Chin up, head held high. Get as much info as possible to bamboozle her with. Good luck and I feel your pain x

 

[Kar8858]

She is probably just very scared for you and the risks involved. My mum was worried too but I told her it was my choice and that was it. Don't worry once it's done and you start losing she will change her attitude. To have the op is very frightening for us too with the risks but your mum will be scared of losing you too. Give her time..don't be down just see it as part of the journey! Good luck x

 

[countrywench]

I agree with Kar
I think maybe she is scared something might go wrong ?
As for saying WLS is a cop out , that makes me mad
Life saving , future saving operation is not a cop out . One life , that's all we get . I've wasted 20 years being fat , unfit and generally unhappy . 20 years I will never ever get back !
it makes me mad when people judge us for this .

Taking ownership of the surgery is the first step and don't let her make you feel low about it . This is your decision and ask her if she is going to,love you any less for having it done .
Put blinkers on and ignore the side swipes , focus on the end game .
Mindy
Xxxx

 

[vain]

So sorry to hear you mum won't support you the ladies are right Hun but what you need to to is do what is right for you as you can't live your life through other people I had the op 8 and half months ago and it's been I life saver if I had of carried on past 23 stone I wouldn't be here long don't think for one moment it's an easy route or as your mum says cop out its very hard yes I agree if only we could lose the weight and it stay off but that's not an ideal world I yo-yo,d for years losing great amounts but mentally I just wasn't their Ive now got my head around this is for life exercise sensible eating I enjoy my life so much more just walking with out pain or painting me own toe nails is just blissful am a completely different person and I thank god that the surgeons helped me I see this op as a tool it reminds me the life choice that I have now made but like I said it's hard and everyone's journey is different keep ya chin up set the goal you want and go for it your mum will come round Hun especially when she sees how much it means and improves your life I have a new lease on life able to play and run with the grandson is heaven I could never do that before its so hard for people to understand and remember that saying walk a mile in my shoes people would soon change their opinion problem is we live in a very judgmental world but people need to realise that ideal and perfection are not what life's about its about being happy surrounded be your loved ones chin up Hun there's loads of support in here xxx

 

[milliemollymandi1234]

Thank you everyone for the kind messages. My mum has always been really supportive so I can't understand her reaction.

My husband is great and really supportive. I hope she'll come around eventually.

I've gone from tears to anger.

My dad was always over weight. The lowest I saw him was 28 stone. He died of obesity related illnesses so I can't understand how she cannot be supportive of my wanting to stop the circle.

 

[blossom11]

Sometimes in life we unfortunately have to do things without the support of those people we need. My mum has been very quiet on the issue too and I think it's just because she's so worried. If it was my little girl I'd be really anxious.

I too have a little girl and she had been at the heart of my surgery decision process. If you can try and focus on what the future holds and I'm sure that when your mum sees the progress you are making she will back you up x x x x

I also come from a very large family (who I love to death) but I do think they feel a level of guilt about my weight battle too. They don't need to at all but I suppose if it was my girl in 20 years I may feel that too x x x x

I hope this makes sense.

Good luck hunny. You can't always please everyone but get the support from the people who are there and wait for the others to catch up!

My dad had a bypass (open surgery) 14 years ago. The bypass was very new then. I begged and begged him not to do it. I was so worried about him. On the day I went to see him after surgery I cried all the way home. I was certain he'd made a bad decision. I love him so very much and was so worried about how ill he was. In those days it was a 3 month recovery!!! However, I was so wrong my dad went from being able to walk a few steps to cruising around the Sahara desert on a motorbike!!! He truly is living life to the full and it's the very best thing he ever did.

So what I'm trying to say is maybe your mum feels as I did...frightened. but hopefully she'll feel totally different when she sees the progress you make.

Sorry this is a bit babbling on!!!

Sending love x x x x

 

[los in it]

I'm guessing its tougher when its blood to be supportive but I would like to think someone may have private concerns but somehow keep it to yourself for the sake of the other person, does that make sense?

 

[milliemollymandi1234]

I know and thank you. I'm hoping she comes around.

 

[Mrs Noodles]

I never told my Mum as she just wouldnt get it.

Do it for you and your little girl, as others have said, she is probably just worried and when it comes down to it she will be there for you hopefully.

I'm glad to read that your husband is supportive as that means alot day to day.

Best of luck with your journey x

 

[Hannah2]

Yeah, I told my Mum that I had been referred for a bypass and she wasn't happy. She said "why cant you just put a bit more effort into losing weight the proper way".....!!!!!??????

Mmmmm, well, I have been nagged since I was 12 to lose weight, so I guess it hasn't worked for over 30 years, so what makes now different????????? I am hoping that she will adjust as things happen and weight comes off. My partner is supportive and that is the most important thing for me.

You need to do this for you, if that is what you want, don't let her drag you down about it - keep positive and hopefully your Mum will see what a difference it makes to your life after the op and will change her opinion. Good luck!

 

[LuLuXo]

I have my first appointment with the hospital (Salford Royal). I'm so happy and can't wait for the op. I need the surgery for reasons of health and wanting to be there for my son. We have a family history if obesity and related health illnesses. I was so excited and told my family. Husband is great and has been watching documentaries with me.

It's my Mum that I can't get over. We have a friend whom had surgery and it's great for her. She is soo happy. My mum is so supportive of her doing it. When I said I was having the surgery (please god), she said she would not support me.

She says she can't understand why I can't lose the weight and the surgery is a cop out. She's questioned why I can't just lose weight despite everything under active thyroid etc. she question why u would do it when I have a little one . It's because if little one that I am doing this I need to see them grow.

She was the one person who I thought would route for me.

She's asking questions about when time scales etc and I can't tell her anything.

Low day

That's such a shame. Maybe somewhere subconsciously she feels like you needing the operation makes her a bad mother or something. That's the only explanation I can think of when she has been so supportive of her friend. It's really hard, I can't understand how it feels because my family were really supportive but I think the main thing is that when they see your weight dropping off and how much more active and healthy and happy you are, all of her prejudices will be put aside and she will realise that you knew what you were doing and that she was wrong.

I know it must be hard because its such a huge step but just try not to let other people dampen what is going to be a really positive change for you and your little boy!

Everyone on here is 100% behind you every step of the way!


Lu x x x