'Fern Britton Syndrome' aka 'Do I Tell The World or Keep It To Myself?'

[Brunetteandred]

I have been pondering this for a while and just keep going round in circles, so I wondered what your thoughts on this are.

I will be (hopefully) having my bypass March-April time and have been told I will need up to 6 weeks off work.

I am an intensely private person and do not feel the need to tell the world, but I have obviously had to share with my immediate family (daughters and partner!). I have also told one close friend who I know I can count on to keep shtum.

Maybe I shouldn't feel the need to keep it 'quiet', but there is this social stigma about obesity and I can't help feeling a 'failure' over all these years. WLS is really last chance saloon for me.

Has anyone told a 'fib' about what they have had done and if so, what did you say? My friend says work do not need to know a specific reason, just that I am having surgery. But people do ask!

 

[alison65]

hiya
i had no qualms telling everyone, i work at a gp surgery (for 20 years) so told all regular patients too, the only person who said "that's cheating" was one of the nurses so my answer to her was you spend 24hrs in intensive care then say its cheating, she never knew what was involved. i have had nothing but support from everyone else, but at the end of the day its up to you.
good luck with your journey.

 

[Rising_Sun]

I'm planning on keeping it under wraps when it eventually happens. I'd probably fib and say I'm having hernia op or maybe a hysterectomy if I had to give a reason for not being at work, otherwise no explanations.

 

[charliegirl]

I am keeping mine under wraps, about five close friends know and have been sworn to keep it to themselves. It's nothing to do with anyone what we do. Lucky for me I was off work with mild depression and had my op two weeks before I was due back, I return to work on monday and whilst my boss knows I have had an op he does not have a clue what it was for my sick note does not state anything other than fit to work. Why have you been told six weeks off? To be honest its not that bad a surgery I could of gone back last week but as I work 10 hour shifts and my eating was limited I chose to have a third week off. I dont think you have to tell everyone everything I just say I need to lose weight to help my recurrent headaches....xx

 

[Brunetteandred]

Hi,I am having the open procedure, so presume the 6 weeks thing is down to that.

 

[charliegirl]

Oh right, I would still not tell them if you dont want to, you can always tell them at a later date. I hate lying so I just say the bare minimum....good luck in what ever you decide...xx

 

[Brunetteandred]

Thanks CG xx

 

[phatgirl]

I was not keen on telling people either. I told my immediate family & best friend when I started to try and get NHS funding. I kept thinking that I would get denied so I didn't want to have to explain everyone else.

Then as the surgery grew closer, I did not want to hear anything negative so I kept quiet. When I mention an upcoming surgery I gave the vague response of 'intestinal surgery' to help some of my illnesses if anyone asked. But now that I have had it, I tell everyone. Poo on them if they don't like my choice!

 

[Pookiedoodle]

The only person I have told is my husband. I've got no intention of telling anyone else. I'm very private, and I want to keep it my business (Oh and all of you lot on here, naturally!)

 

[tesmaralda]

I have so far told my hubbie, daughter bestest friend and some family to be honest the family I was dreading telling cause of what they would say took it the best and were full of support, so you cant always go on your feelings, I think you'll know when the time comes who you'll feel comfortable telling and those who really don't need to know. Hope that helps

 

[callysplace]

Im in the dont care catagory, I told everyone that I was going in for wls, the daftest thing is that I told some people I was going in for the band as I knew that they would start to tell me horror stories about folk that have had the bypass surgery and not pulled through
I dont have any problem now in telling folk I have had the bypass, in fact its one of the first things I tell them lol.
I did expect a lot of negative remarks about having it done, but everyone has been really supportive on my decision, then again most of them know I would give them a mouth full if they said anything horrid

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i told every one most ppl have been supportive, but ive also had a few negitive comments about cheating and it being the easy way out, which its far from. when ppl that make comments like that are obviously just ignorant of the facts about wls.

 

[tammy]

i only told my family and close friends. i didn't tell my work colleagues and boy do i wish i did now. everyone is commenting on my weight loss and i feel like i am constantly lying about how i have done it.

i'm even at the stage of coming clean with everyone at out xmas do. at the end of the day i am proud of my decision for WLS and don't really care what they think of my choices. just feel bad that they sent flowers and that thinking i was in for a womans op!!! (work with alot of men and felt a safe option to say without too many questions!!!)

good luck with whatever you decide to do. everyone has an opinion on WLS so some will support you and others won't. x

 

[LancsLass2]

Hi, I`ve had the band and not told anyone apart from my husband. My friend came round the day after I`d had it and I told her I had a trapped nerve in my left side radiating up to my shoulder ( which is where I got most pain from ) oops!!! I do feel a little guilty when she asks how I`m doing on my "diet" and I tell her and she says she`s proud but the way I see it, it still is like dieting. I still have to watch what I eat and exercise, the band just helps xxx

 

[hopelesscase]

I have just been very upfront with everyone, even some of the male social workers ask everytime i see them how im doing.
I come from the angle of thoes who matter dont mind and thoes that mind dont matter. but to date its been positive all the way.
HC

 

[julieann]

i told a lot of people which i thin helped as the operation drew nearer because i new then that i had to go through with otherwise i would have had a lot of explaining to do had i have backed out at the last minute, which at times i really wanted to

 

[thisisit]

Hi All on this great forum.
I have made a decision, not to tell anyone apart from on here.
Had a really good chat(Pm) with someone last night on here, who gave me some sensible thoughts and i thank her from the bottom of my heart.

I realise this is one of my problems giving to others but never asking or expecting,and always being so so grateful if any one does anything for me.

My reasons are strange,i feel i dont want any one to see me ill,sick (out of my normal I'me in control mode) i never wanted a nurse or any one near me when i had my child a long time ago.

Sound very weird but honest i am not.

Having gastric ballon sat am, expecting it to be unpleasant but may be wrong,if so that will be a bonus.
All the effort after wards will be mine cutting back greatly and starting to eat healthy,right size portions for my small frame.

It does help to write does'nt it'?
Thanks Ava

 

[Loll]

I tell everyone who mentions how much weight I've lost that I have had a bypass and they are genuinely interested, in the operation, what I can eat, how I feel. One girl at work was considering the operation and now has a booked date. Everyone is different and it depends on how you feel about telling people. For me the operation was a life changing experience not only due to the weight loss but for the improvement in the back condition that I have. Most people do not really understand the operation and are amazed when you explain things to them. As for time off work I had 10 days but could have gone back 5 days after I felt so well. I work in admin with some customer front facing but it is different depending on your occupation. The nurse at the hospital I went to had a bypass and she was not allowed back for 8 weeks.

 

[Brunetteandred]

I work in a PCT among health professionals and know I will have quite a lot of, for want of a better word, scorn.

The posts on this thread have been immensely helpful. I think I am going to keep quiet until I get my date and then play it by ear. You're all brilliant! :clap::clap::clap:

 

[bridiegeorge]

i am jumping ahead here as i havent even got funding yet, i dont want to tell anyone outside of immediate family, although i do worry about that bit when weight is obviously coming off, what to say. but it is not an easy option, and does involve a lot of input from ourselves as does any weightloss, but i am not great at lying if asked directly, so i shall have to think long and hard about this. hoping that when time comes i make the right decision for me.:sigh: