'Fern Britton Syndrome' aka 'Do I Tell The World or Keep It To Myself?'

[Cowgirl]

I started a group "Gina's gastric band journey" on Facebook and invited everyone i knew! I explained my reasons and the procedure in the description in the group so that I could just tell everyone at once. I tell everyone! Im proud to have taken steps to inprove my life and don't preach to people, it a personal choice.

 

[jmmo44]

I told everyone with the exception of my husband and daughters, that I had banding not bypass.
My reasons? Well, a colleague had a band put in and the reception to that was ok - I had, up until one week before, booked in for a band but changed my mind and went for the more radical op instead. Mainly because this colleague has stopped losing weight due to poor management of diet. I wanted to know that this was less likely (dumping) and I definitely feel it is (for me).
I do find it difficult not to tell the whole truth, however it is my business after all. I dont feel ashamed just reluctant to be judged for yet another reason! Choose your own way!

It amazes me how 'interesting' I have become since losing weight very, very hard to not be cynical!

Op date 16th Dec 08 17st 7lbs
Today 28th Jan 09 14st 13lbs MAD
:bliss:

 

[teen]

I have told everyone and i dont care what anyone says Im proud of myself. One person said what a waste of tax payers money I laughed and said I have paid tax for 25 years So I have prob paid more in than I am taking out Shut them straight up lol.

You have to do whats best for you )

 

[Silversurfer]

I like many here told no one about my op, i even had my consultant provide me with a general surgery letter to show work, even now 5 months on i dont tell anyone, i'm an intensly private person and dont like others knowing my business. With the current media coverage of anything 'fat' everyone has an opinion about weight lose, and sadly its normally quite negative towards weight lose surgery, and especially so if the NHS has paid for it !

 

[Craftyfox]

Surely everyone will know when you say "I'm full" after eating only a morsel and your weight is dropping off after years of being big, and you've been off work for weeks, and now there are lots of foods that make you ill.
They'd have to be pretty dumb not to put two and two together surely.
I'm just going to tell people when they ask, this Operation is nothing short of a miracle for many thousands of people who are very unhappy and I'm very lucky to have it available to me.
My friend Julie has emphysemia and still smokes, she said to me that she wished there was an operation that would stop her smoking and cure her breathing difficulties, if there was she would have it tomorrow.
Many have died to get this bypass surgery where it is today and I for one am not ashamed or embarrassed to tell the world "I've had a gastric bypass".:secret:

 

[candie]

At the moment i've only told my Mum, my Daughter and my best friendTo be honest I don't see that it's anyone else's business right now, but I might shout it from the rooftops when I've lost the weight

 

[Silversurfer]

Surely everyone will know when you say "I'm full" after eating only a morsel and your weight is dropping off after years of being big, and you've been off work for weeks, and now there are lots of foods that make you ill.
They'd have to be pretty dumb not to put two and two together surely.
I'm just going to tell people when they ask, this Operation is nothing short of a miracle for many thousands of people who are very unhappy and I'm very lucky to have it available to me.
My friend Julie has emphysemia and still smokes, she said to me that she wished there was an operation that would stop her smoking and cure her breathing difficulties, if there was she would have it tomorrow.
Many have died to get this bypass surgery where it is today and I for one am not ashamed or embarrassed to tell the world "I've had a gastric bypass".:secret:

No i can eat pretty normally now, just in smaller quantities, food doesn't make me sick anymore, if i eat out i'll normally go for a healthy option or pick something from the menu that i think or know will be fairly small portion wise, if anyone does ask i just say i'm on a diet and cutting my portion size.
People notice i've lost weight, but other than close friends people dont tend to ask or question how you've done it, i confess when it does happen i find it difficult and try and avoid the questioning, but its very rare !

Your eating will get back to some sort of normality given time and you will increase the range of foods you can tolerate !

 

[WeightlossWannabee]

I don't want to tell work either. Apparently the doc will write abdominal surgery on your sick note. I've been trying to think of an appropriate 'condition', because I know people will ask.

 

[fat-girl-slim08]

For me I find my situation embarassing and shameful as Yes I had the gastric bypass to lose weight, but I had other problems too, like pcos with all the symptoms and the main one was Bulimia which I have suffered with for 20 years and No-one not even my husband knew about this, I only told my hubby last summer, so because of this, I haven't told anyone apart from my mum & Sister and 2 kids (Which was very hard for me, after keeping a secret for so long) I was very worried I was gonna kill myself with bulimia and the surgeon told me It would stop me making my self sick, which it has, Its a horrible dark secret which i find embarrasing to talk about and that was my main reason for the Op. Thats why I can't tell anyone because it means raking up the past and Some people would just Not understand.

 

[phatgirl]

I don't want to tell work either. Apparently the doc will write abdominal surgery on your sick note. I've been trying to think of an appropriate 'condition', because I know people will ask.

If you are really convinced you can't tell anyone you can say one of several things:

Gallbladder removal (about same recovery time)

Abdominal hernia repair (very short recovery time but you can always say there were multiple repairs done). This might be more convincing if you have a c-section scar, they sometimes will develop a hernia below them.

The ever vague 'female problems' which stops many people from asking, but if you want you can say you had cysts on one of your ovaries that had to be removed.

 

[WeightlossWannabee]

If you are really convinced you can't tell anyone you can say one of several things:

Gallbladder removal (about same recovery time)

Abdominal hernia repair (very short recovery time but you can always say there were multiple repairs done). This might be more convincing if you have a c-section scar, they sometimes will develop a hernia below them.

The ever vague 'female problems' which stops many people from asking, but if you want you can say you had cysts on one of your ovaries that had to be removed.

Thanks for this PG x

 

[phatgirl]

You are welcome hun. I hope you find that you don't need to make something up but if it makes you feel better to keep it private, then go with your instincts. They are usually right, I find when I go against my own I am sorry for it! Best of luck.

Nic

 

[WeightlossWannabee]

You are welcome hun. I hope you find that you don't need to make something up but if it makes you feel better to keep it private, then go with your instincts. They are usually right, I find when I go against my own I am sorry for it! Best of luck.

Nic

Thanks, Nic,
I know that if I 'come clean' a lot of people are going to worry about what I'm doing. I know it might seem a bit selfish, but I feel it's a time for me to indulge myself in what I think is right for me and that if I've got to prop other people up and try to convince them to come round to my way of thinking then my energy will go on that, not on my forthcoming op. My hubby is totally behind me (my son less so, because he's worried about me having surgery) so I'm feeling that's as far as I need to spread it. At least for now. xxx

 

[baby jayne]

I have told everyone at work as it's so easy to slip up if you tell lies...for e.g if you say you have had a hysterectomy what if in the future you need one? or what if people start to ask you about that type of operation if say they are having one to?
I would just mention it in conversation and you will be surprised how positive people are...its only the same as some people having eye surgery, boob jobs etc it is afterall a choice op not an necessity.
Be proud you are not by any means taking the easy way out, you are making a major health choice.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

I really dont know what to do
I told a friend when we were both plastered over christmas not sure if she will rememeber.
another friend goes on that shemcoudl lose weight easy as she eats crap all day but whats the point she puts it all back on afterwards - well she will she eats crisps and choccy all day long !!!
none of my friends really have a weight problem nor ever had so its hard to explain to them.
I wont tell anyone before incase i tempt fate, will probably tell tehm a week or so afterwards (I think)
god help me.
x

 

[SkinnyWannabe]

We were talking about this with my husband last night.

I have told 4 people, my husband and 3 friends. I didnt want to tell everybody because of the judgemental coments, i have a few friends that had a bypass and just the other day talking to my mom she said "Oh.. Thank God you dont need that done" she thinks im dieting again.

I talked to my family about having a bypass a year ago and nobody liked the idea.. so, i have decided not to share... not just yet anyway.

My husband thinks i should, but i dont want to deal with all the questions, i never liked talking about my weight, so i cant see why would be different now, i know its early days but thats how i feel

xoxo

 

[mintball]

I decided to tell everyone, purely because everyone knows me and has seen weight fluctuate all my life but never get below 15stones and because i've joined every slimming club over the years I have many friends with weight problems.

I could not look them in the eye when they asked me how I'd done it and skirt round it I'd end up slowly admitting it to a few people at a time and then it would be looked upon as me being embarassed or ashamed.

I totally undersatnd why people don't tell people and think everyone is individual. I also felt that if you say I've ahd the band, people thinks its fab and just like the celebs, but as soon as you mention bypass, they recoil in horror.

I've almost taken it as my little mission now to give people a quick pro and con list to the two procedures and watch their face as people realise I've probably made the best decision I could have done and that I'm brave...not lazy x x x

But you need to do whats best for you and if you are gonna tell people, I would advise you to only do so AFTER you've had the procedure, thats my only regret. I told people before and they all took it upon themselves to tell me horror stories and try to talk me out of it. Once you've had it done, people are actually interested then and have a completely different attitude, whereas people that think ur stupid for having it done, once they see how well ur looking and they understand it a bit more may be too stubborn to admit it.

I know I've waffled on but just thought I'd tell how I felt whilst making the decision and hope it goes towards helping you make yours.

Good luck whatever you decide x x x

 

[tesmaralda]

As much as I love fern she could have handled the situation better by being upfront and honest about her procedure. Before you all start shouting at your computer screen I totally agree that celebs are entitled to a private life and should be allowed to keep things private, however once it became apparent that it was going to be made public she should not have denied it and been open and upfront. By denying it it only adds to peoples misconceived ideas that its something to be ashamed of and that because we have wls surgey we are a failure. We looks to our celebs to be role models in lots of things and this one occassion where this could have been handled so different and maybe made a bit of a difference to the way people look at wls surgery.

Sorry will get off my soap box now and say that ever since I first read the title of the post I have wanted to post this and just could resist the urge not to anymore.

 

[donnax658]

I'm going to tell anyone that asks i think. I am proud that I am doing this and changing my life for the better. I have already had a few "oh that's the easy way" or....."why don't you just eat less" but la la la i'm not listening lol. I don't call spending £5500 the *easy way* As long as i'm sure it's what I want then the negative people just don't matter.......they'd never put me off so they can say what they like xx

 

[baby jayne]

Hi Donna

Where are you getting your G/Band done for that price? or is it a balloon?