'Fern Britton Syndrome' aka 'Do I Tell The World or Keep It To Myself?'

[Toadi x]

What decission was right for me.

Hi, im new to this sight so you might have to bare with me here lol. Everybody has there own way with dealing with the decition on weather or not to make it public knollage bout there opp. I changed my mind so many times on what to tell ppl and at first opted to keep it a secret. But as the dates are being set and the opp is getting closer i found myself becoming scared and so decided to tell ppl so that it is harder for me to back out of having the opp. You see as much as i know it is the only way forward for me to lead a long healthy life with my kids the surgery scared me. So to stop me from sticking my head back in the sand trana convince myself i will be ok and there is nothing wrong and then backing out, i told every1 i new that i was having the opp. Dont get me wrong if i really diddnt want the opp i wouldnt have it done, but i just diddnt want me to back out of the opp for the wrong reasons. Im scared off the opp itself nothing more but that is natural and me telling other ppl bout me having the opp was my way of dealing with my fear.

Hope i diddnt ramble on to much lol xXx

 

[charliegirl]

Hi the op is not going to be as bad as you think it will, you will go to sleep and wake up after and there will be hardly any pain and if there is you will be given pain killers. I never had one ounce of pain and thought that they had not done the op. I had five tiny little cuts and nothing more......try not to worry chick...I choose not to tell all but a handful of close friends I did not want people passing their opinions and voicing their fears on me because my health needed this op.....xx

 

[quetiapina]

I'm totally open about it and find that people are genuinely interested in the procedure etc as they have heard about it on the telly etc. I had a long conversation with a woman at the bank about it when I went to transfer money. Basically, I'm not spending £5,500 - all the money we have in the world and a bit more and not telling people about it!

 

[indianlight]

I'm new to this site but had a band done approx 2 years ago and am having a revision to bypass in april. I hardly told anyone about my band, but found as time went on I was able to tell new people who came into my life but was unable to tell the ones like aunts & uncles who i hadnt told originally.

I think it was cos i felt like i had lied to them to start with and thought they would have been cross with me.

Now that i'm approaching my date for a bypass, i don't find myself telling anyone, the only people who know are the ones who know about my band already, close friends and family who I know won't be against it.

I think the problem we have is that this is seen as elective sugery, something we choose to do. I'm not saying that before you all shout at me, I know in most cases its a life or death decision and that doesnt always mean physical ailments! I felt when i was in hospital with my band that i was taking up space that should have been used for someone in real need, really ill unlike me who if only i could control my eating wouldn't need to be there. crikey i'm rambling!!

What i'm trying to say is that we all have issues with why we are doing this, but the main thing is we have made the decision to take this step and does it really matter what others think? I choose not to tell people, work think i'm having my gall bladder out (which I am) and a clean out in my intestines/stomach, thats more than they need to know but it stops people asking me, and thats enough for me...

 

[Auntie Bee]

I'm new to this site but had a band done approx 2 years ago and am having a revision to bypass in april. I hardly told anyone about my band, but found as time went on I was able to tell new people who came into my life but was unable to tell the ones like aunts & uncles who i hadnt told originally.

I think it was cos i felt like i had lied to them to start with and thought they would have been cross with me.

Now that i'm approaching my date for a bypass, i don't find myself telling anyone, the only people who know are the ones who know about my band already, close friends and family who I know won't be against it.

I think the problem we have is that this is seen as elective sugery, something we choose to do. I'm not saying that before you all shout at me, I know in most cases its a life or death decision and that doesnt always mean physical ailments! I felt when i was in hospital with my band that i was taking up space that should have been used for someone in real need, really ill unlike me who if only i could control my eating wouldn't need to be there. crikey i'm rambling!!

What i'm trying to say is that we all have issues with why we are doing this, but the main thing is we have made the decision to take this step and does it really matter what others think? I choose not to tell people, work think i'm having my gall bladder out (which I am) and a clean out in my intestines/stomach, thats more than they need to know but it stops people asking me, and thats enough for me...

I've told a few friends and work colleagues, have found it more difficult to tell any family except for my parents, brothers, and sis-in-law, but i'm finding the closer i get to my op (2 weeks now woo-hoo!!!!) The more I want to tell the world, the excitement is killing me!!!!!

Indianlight, do you mind me asking why your moving from band to bypass just out of curiousity??

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi there, I think I've probably told everyone I know lol because I'm so excited about having this done and losing the weight and of course getting healthier. Now everyone knows I have to work hard or they'll think I've failed again. i must say though all my family, parents, siblings and in-laws have been fab and are really supporting my decision xxGaynorxx

 

[indianlight]

Auntie Bee,
I had many problems with the band, I kept losing my voice due to reflux and that can lead to other problems like cancer in the throat, I was tired all the time, pouching as soon as I ate anything, they kept filling it then having to unfill it and eventually decided that we couldn't keep going with this as it was affecting me physically as well as emotionally. I was offered a bypass at the beginning pre band and I felt that I should have gone that way to begin with. In my experience people with a massive amount of weight to lose like myself should go for bypass, but thats just my thoughts. Don't let my experience put you off, its rare that this happens and remember I did lose 6 stone with the band, its just i've still got a lot more to lose. I've heard of many people very successful with band and the hospital still classes me as successful!! wierd.

 

[Decking Jim]

Hi
I didnt tell anyone except direct family not evan best friends
I had mine fitted Tuesday
When I got home on Wednesday I e-mailed everyone I kn ow and told them and gave them address to my blog which started on day 1 of pre op
Had nothing but positive response- I think the blog has helped as people can read my thoughts and rationalle for having it done

Good Luck

Cheers

James

 

[Auntie Bee]

Hi Indianlight, ya poor thing, sounds like it's been a nightmare for you! I had originally decided to have the band, but at my consultation when i got all the facts decided to go for the bypass! It's 2 weeks tomorrow, I cant wait! I hope the bypass is problem free for you, after all you've already been through!

 

[indianlight]

auntie bee so do i...DO you mind if we keep in touch id be interested in how it all goes for you are your a few weeks ahead of me?? Good luck with it.

 

[Auntie Bee]

auntie bee so do i...DO you mind if we keep in touch id be interested in how it all goes for you are your a few weeks ahead of me?? Good luck with it.

Yes of course we can keep in touch, I'll add you as a friend!!!!

 

[indianlight]

Thanks for that auntie bee i've accepted, tell me have you started your pre op diet yet?

 

[Auntie Bee]

Yes I'm in my 5th week, have lost 15lbs so far! I'm on the low cal diet, rather than the milk diet!!! I have literally just received the phonecall to pay for my surgery, no going back now!!!!

 

[indianlight]

Auntie Bee,

Just realised that you had your bypass yesterday, how are you??? thinking of you xx

 

[Auntie Bee]

Auntie Bee,

Just realised that you had your bypass yesterday, how are you??? thinking of you xx

Got home on Friday, all over and done with, kinda sore, but hopefully that'll lift soon!

 

[ladybird_gal]

I've told no one apart from my daughter and my husband. Not sure yet who I'll tell. 6 weeks off work is a difficult one!!

 

[ladybird_gal]

I've told no one except my husband and my daughter. 6 weeks off work is hard to explain though. All the best whoever you tell.

 

[halve me]

i initially didnt want to tell anyone but for the sake of sorting child care etc i needed to tell some people (parents and close friends etc) but then i told more people while i was waiting for my op date. and now i have an op date i again dont want to tell people!?! its strange that i again want to keep this to myself!!
sian x