GRRRRR! Post op people who dont care!

[Marie1986]

Hello all

Fortunately my rant doesnt extend to many people on here as people on here tend to want to succeed and thats why they join forums like this, however facebook is a different matter.....

What is it with people who just dont care?! 3 weeks post op blending KFC and drinking pints of lager! Going on nights out and asking (at 2 weeks post op I might add) what curry can I have....I fancy a korma...and 'I want to get sh*t-faced in town (a month post op) cider all the way' are just a selection of my 'friends' on facebook status recently.

It makes me grrr as the same people are messaging me day after day saying they are struggling with food choices and they 'hate cooking - so what type of take-away can I have each night'

What on earth can I do with these questions. I advise as much as I can, and I encourage people to post these questions on my group on facebook for Mancunian bariatric patients so others can advise that they should be doing the above for a long term post-op success....but in reality I want to chuff em off as they dont listen...BUT STILL ASK?! Grrrrrr

I know someone exactly like the above, who has abused, will abuse, is abusing her gastric band (im due to have one 14th November)

It makes my blood boil that the road to actually having this surgery and the whole life change i will have to take on.. is Mahooosive.. and i see/hear her drinking and eating like there is no tomorrow! Makes me think that some people think the bands a magic wand!

Then she question's why shes not losing weight???? i shake my head when i hear of her, i just cant deal with people who are going to be a bad influence on me and my success!

I understand your rant fully salski! Go for it!

Marie x

 

[LisaG]

I think you need a cull! I'm sure you really dont need to be dealing with that. It's madness!

 

[joylouise]

I think these people must be mad, they have been given an amazing chance and they are throwing it away. I dont think they deserve your time to be honest.
I wonder if they would do it had they had to pay?? I wish the NHS could send them the bill for their pure selfishness and they could use the money for someone more deserving.

 

[BlueDiamond]

It does make u wonder how these ppl got wls in the first place , coz the definately dont bl**dy deserve it, but thats usually par for the course wiv ppl like that , ppl that dont deserve it will get it and the ppl that deserve it dont (in some cases, not all) it furiates me as well as I am struggling too lose weight atm (waiting on a 2nd fill) and I am following the guidelines 100% coz if I didnt I would be thinkin wots the f***ing point in having wls in the first place, I know of ppl who are abusing their wls (eating pizza, drinking fizz , garlic bread etc ) and yet they still are losing weight - yes it does p**s me off but ya know wot guys & gals - let em crack on wiv it coz tbh they may not suffer now but when the s**t hits the fan and later on in life they have problems etc, they will have no one too blame accept themselves - as the saying goes - You can't help no one - who wont help themselves.

All the best - MeJulie x x (blurgh @ blended kfc)

 

[Brunetteandred]

Excellent thread.

I am afraid I am in the same bed with Salski and Ca-ching, however harsh their words may seem, their words should be a massive wake up call for people who continue to abuse themselves.

At 19 months post-op, I struggle. My head/demons are still there. I find myself reaching for the biscuits & chocolates on occasions, I am definitely no saint. But FFS, I was given the chance of turning my life around and avoiding early death and all manner of maladies by surgery. For people to be abusing themselves so early on post-op is really sticking two fingers up at everyone who is struggling to get off the starting blocks and those who are post-op and sticking to the lifestyle change and still struggling (both psychologically and physically).

I agree that *all* bariatric patients should have compulsory psychological screening. To 'state the bleedin' obvious' here; bariatric surgery (and particularly a procedure that physically 're-plumbs' your digestive system) is *not* a 'quick fix' cosmetic procedure and should not be treated like a facelift, liposuction etc. IT is a procedure that *will* not only alter your body, it *will* (however eventually) f*ck with your mind. And people need to *know* that.

Unfortunately, the cost pressure of bariatric psychology for all on NHS funding would be immense, especially in these austere times and of course, it would slow down the operation rates even more.

I am not aware of what private companies offer in the way of pyschological evaluation, so cannot comment on that specifically, but I do know that in essence, they are selling a service so it is in their interest to get 'em in and on the table and out the door, though if your purse can afford it, there are some marvellous after-care packages available. My after care is cr@p, but I manage through support of my fellow bariatric friends and am fortunately not shy of asking the hospital I had my procedure at.

I also believe that it is not a God-given right to have WLS.

Controversial? You bet yo' a*s.

The demand for surgery has far outweighed the means to perform it (NHS in particular). And is the 'quick fix' mind set playing a part in that? I think so.

I am concerned that people are taking this route in the hope of WLS being the 'magic bullet' and are not a) psychologically prepared or even b) not at that in need of it (see my 'magic bullet' comment above).

These words may make uncomfortable reading, but so are the comments Salski has read on her Facebook page and I fear some of the people who made them are on their way to a massive fall.

 

[Chuffy_29]

This is a right interesting thread and everyone here has a point. It's looking likely that i will end up down the private route, mainly as i am struggling to find time to see my GP to do my NHS form (i qualify under NICE) and 2ndly i am the world's most impatient!

However i amwill not rush into it anyway. this is because i need to know i can change my eating habits and not end up as a KFC blender (sounds vile tbh!) but you know what i mean. i need my head to be right and to almost have some habits ready, if and when i do have my surgery i want to use it as a tool forever. Actually being on here is a grweat advert for what's right and how things can go worng and support for getting back on track. Ditch the facebook fools i say Sal!

 

[Neen]

There is a huge difference between people who are misinformed and people who blatantly do NOTHING to help themselves and show huge contempt for the gift of surgery to help them.
The people who blend KFC or other ridiculous reckless excessive stuff like that and ignore advice from medical professionals..and I am fairly sure every NHS patient is going to have had some level of advice here....as well as most private patients...if they purposefully can't be arsed to try and avoid obvious bad food habits...if they deliberately choose all the unhealthy stuff like it doesn't matter and expect to magically lose weight, those are the people that give the rest of us a bad name and fuel the general negativity towards WLS patients....AND they are the ones who moan the loudest when suprise , suprise...it doesn't work.

 

[Grace]

I gave up chocolate, cake and sweets 6 months before surgery. I think we have to be in completely the right mind set pre-surgery to make the most out of it. I still get cravings but WLS is the tool to help me beat them.

I didn't regard WLS as a magic bullet: but it definitely was a life-belt thrown to a drowning woman!

Sadly some people when drowning, take other people trying to save them, down with them. It's a tough thing to do, but you have to let them go.

 

[salski]

Neen I have to agree with you here. There is advice and I know for a FACT both the people I am talking about have regular dietician appointments. I know 1 of them suffers with severe depression and anxiety and was refused surgery 2 times because of his mental health. He was later approved and within weeks was blending the KFC and drinking cans of lager.....
I dont think his mental health helps the situations, but the fact remains he is aware of what he needs to be eating and not eating and has attended enough pre-op appointments and pre op support groups to be aware. I know he had 12 stone to lose and over a year out now had lost 5 and put 2 on...so has lost 3 in total.
The other girl should still be on purees as she had her op 3-4 weeks ago. Last week I was asked if she could have korma, and what best to get pissed on a night out.
Again she recently posted that she had seen the dietician and has lost 3 stone so far....well great but that wont last forever.
I do get frustrated and I do get mad, but I also have to ensure that these poeple are not shouting about what they are eating and how bad it is whilst on my support group. In private messages I can advise...but I dont think it should be made public without others adding their comments to say that its not the best advice to be blending KFC?!
Make any sense? LOL

 

[salski]

I gave up chocolate, cake and sweets 6 months before surgery. I think we have to be in completely the right mind set pre-surgery to make the most out of it. I still get cravings but WLS is the tool to help me beat them.

I didn't regard WLS as a magic bullet: but it definitely was a life-belt thrown to a drowning woman!

Sadly some people when drowning, take other people trying to save them, down with them. It's a tough thing to do, but you have to let them go.

See I did see it as magic as I was so ill informed. Within weeks of not losing any weight on reductil and never having been on a diet in my life...I was on the surgeons table. As far as I was concerned I was having a bad up until a week pre-op!! There really wasnt any support or guidance for me at the time and I was left utterly in the dark about my op....which is why I think I have stuggled still not cutting the crap out....
I know now that at Salford this has changed and there is sooooooo much support there now luckily...its just the people I am referring to had there op's with the support - unlike me! x

 

[Neen]

I think it's a good idea to put out some guidelines because there are people out there who do want to take responsibilty for themselves and haven't found this site etc...and the people who are doing stupid things against advice they have been given and not going to the appointments for them..they are the ones that are going to give the wrong impression to others with their ignorance and lack of common sense...or just plain laziness.
There have been a couple on here that were blatantly and defiantly eating crap and almost proud of it...thankfully they are also usually the sort of ignorant type who never stay around to offer help to others too so they post once and go thank heavens!
I think if you wanted to, (and I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to under the circumstances) put out some band and bypass rules and a link here as the ones that DO want to change themselves and make the effort will appreciate it and hopefully the ignoramus crowd will not spoil it for genuine people that way.

 

[Grace]

See I did see it as magic as I was so ill informed. Within weeks of not losing any weight on reductil and never having been on a diet in my life...I was on the surgeons table. As far as I was concerned I was having a bad up until a week pre-op!! There really wasnt any support or guidance for me at the time and I was left utterly in the dark about my op....which is why I think I have stuggled still not cutting the crap out....
I know now that at Salford this has changed and there is sooooooo much support there now luckily...its just the people I am referring to had there op's with the support - unlike me! x

My golly Sal, that is truly shocking and almost negligent! To do life-changing and irreversible surge without guidance and counselling of any sort? I am truly shocked.
I have to say though, that although Sunderland did give some guidance and support, without the help of this forum I'd have been taking a walk in the dark. But I still would've known that KFC, blended or otherwise, and getting sloshed, is no way to lose weight.
I see why you care Sal and I think your commitment to your support group is laudable. But can you not have a word with these people and give then some kind of a verbal warning?! Because as you say, if other people see them doing this kind of thing..well lemmings following each other to jump off a cliff spring to mind!
Gosh it's a tough one for you though. People can be so unreasonable, I know, no matter how reasonable you are. You have my unstinting sympathy and support Sal. xxxxx

 

[BlueDiamond]

I know someone who has the jaw wired in a bid too lose some weight and they still blended mars bars and crap stuff and sucked it through a straw.......

 

[thinnerangela]

I've read recently on Facebook of someone who blends cream cakes and is on the waiting list for the second half of a DS - this is in London.

Now - I'm no longer a saint regarding my diet - I'm still careful and concentrate on the 100gm protein daily - but treats do creep in - and if I'm really silly I really suffer in the toilet dept. the next day.

I had no psychological assessment pre-op - it is now dealt with differently in Kirklees/Calderdale - but surely to put yourself through major life threatening surgery and then blend KFC is just plain stupid (YUK by the way).

Did try a fizzy drink today (cherry vimto - YUK to that too) - sha'n't repeat that again quickly either!!.

As they say up here "There's nowt so queer as folk"

GRRRRR

xxx

 

[phatmomma]

Sally you have a big heart and want to help these idiots. Maybe they need a bit of tough love, but you like me would want to advise them to the best of your ability and not call them silly names and possibly take them away from the only source of information that they have!

I totally agree with cahching, these people are chucking their chances of life away - and the sad thing is they're also taking the chance away from someone who wouldn't piss it up the wall on a saturday night after a skinful and a belly full.....

God hopes they see the light before it's too late xx

 

[Karlos]

Sal I think I know the guy you allude to and he does have mental health issues and there is no way on earth he should have been given a bypass. That said he really needed to lose a lot of weight so in the end I guess they did the wrong thing for the right reasons. They fix our guts not our heads, go figure

The psychological assessments in the UK are a joke so its no surprise that there are some numpties who get through. I truly believe that you should be made to pay for the assessment and it should be a proper evaluation costing say £300. They could refund the fee once you had reached an agreed realistic goal. That might seem harsh especially as I got mine free, but I would have paid it gladly because there is no way I was going to fail at this

I used to get really wound up by pillocks asking is it OK to eat pizza at week four, or when can I drink alcohol again after surgery, but now I just think its their surgery, their pouch, and their success or failure so chuff it if they want to blow their chance so be it.