Hubby being selfish :(

[Amberleigh]

I know we will be more comfortable with money if i get a job aswell to cover the repayments but the money we already get we can afford to cover repayments while i look for a job. I may sound like im bein selfish but im really not. If i didnt think we could afford to do it this way i wouldnt have asked him

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[Karlos]

So you pool your total income and he believes that there isn't enough left after all the bills have been paid to pay for you to have an operation? you see the money as being yours and that you should be able to spend it how you like? I guess he puts much more than a thousand a month in the pot so you simply need to split the disposable income pro rata (If he puts in £2000 and you £1000 then he gets two thirds of what's left and you one third) and if there is enough left for your op then he should let you have it, if not then you can't afford it, simples

 

[Amberleigh]

Im not saying my money is mine obviously as i dont see it. All im saying is that if we can afford holidays and £200 on catalogue every month, now the catalogue is cleared off surely we can afford to use that £200 on repayments.

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[Karlos]

Im not saying my money is mine obviously as i dont see it. All im saying is that if we can afford holidays and £200 on catalogue every month, now the catalogue is cleared off surely we can afford to use that £200 on repayments.

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I don't know if you can or can't afford it Amberleigh, I just think it's harsh to slag a guy off as being selfish when he goes out to work each day to keep you and three kids in your home.

Holidays are family events, but using money that could be used to pay off other family debts like your existing loans quicker, to allow you to take out another huge loan just because you are too impatient to wait and don't to get a job right now to pay for it doesn't sound like him being selfish, it sounds like he's being sensible to me.

 

[JO28172]

Have to agree here. Why not sit down and work out how soon you can clear current finance, work to paying that off, throwing any spare cash to it, to then know you have repaid it all and then I'm sure he'd be willing by the sounds of it? Just a thought!

 

[Amberleigh]

Lol karlos i aint slagging him off. I was half joking. Any1 that knows me knows that and i will even say it to his face. He knows i dont mean it. Im just sulking cos i want it now and he wont let me. We can afford it. I just dont think he wants me to be thin. Hes a feeder!!! Lol

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[Karlos]

You're one smart lady Jo x

 

[Big an Bouncy]

I was with Karlos till I realised it was your money you would be using,but as things are so tight now it would make sense to clear his loan,less interest to pay back.I would look for a job and get a referal for weight management.You could be doing this whilst saving and proving how dedicated you are to losing the weight.I know we all want everything yesterday but I waited 2.5 years for my surgery!

 

[Karlos]

Lol karlos i aint slagging him off. I was half joking. Any1 that knows me knows that and i will even say it to his face. He knows i dont mean it. Im just sulking cos i want it now and he wont let me. We can afford it. I just dont think he wants me to be thin. Hes a feeder!!! Lol

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Well we don't know you from Adam hun, but you said you have other loans, and cars on finance, just because you have £200 a month you don't need to spend right now is not a good reason to commit to ten grand of new debt. If your circumstances changed for the worse would you still be able to pay all these debts? if yes then fine go ahead, but every financial expert out there would tell you to use it to pay off your current debt sooner, not take out even more. Go get a job then you can do what you like can't you?

As for your geezer being a feeder LOL you don't have to swallow it you know

 

[Amberleigh]

Things arnt that tight big and bouncy, hes always saying hes skint and ive seen the money in his account. Even tho we CAN afford to make the repayments already i am looking to get a job and as soon as i have 1 i WILL be booking an appointment lol. I have been referred to nutritionist already, just waiting for appointment to come through for it. He just likes to be in control so is being arkward but he has said if i have a job i can have it so he'd better not go against his word or there will be problems

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[JO28172]

You're one smart lady Jo x

Thanks but in light of recent news, confessing I work for Barclays won't help my street cred lol

 

[Muttley1900]

I was accused of being mean by my ex because I didn't want to get a huge loan out for a round the world cruise.

We discussed it and the other option was to go for a divorce.

We opted for the divorce. The holiday would have been nice, but at least with the divorce it was something we could have forever.

Is he saving up for anything...?

 

[Amberleigh]

Youve been fat, you know whats its like when some1 offer u summit really yum. We dnt have a loan and car finance, cars paid for and my surgery is £6500. Id even be willing to sell my £9000 car as we have 2 but thats a no aswell. Id sell my body but till afterthe surgery i dont think any1 would pay me haha

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[Amberleigh]

Lol muttley, id never get a loan for a holiday and i wouldnt expect him to. Once the holiday is over the money has been wasted. The surgery would hopefully change mine, his and my kids lives for alot of years to come. He aint saving for anything, just likes to hoard money just incase

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[wildchild]

Amber, I sorry to say it but you sound like a very spoilt child tossing the toys out of the pram. I think you need a reality check. What would happen if your husband was unfotunate and lost his job? You would then have the milestone of of not only the loan but possibility of losing your home. Your husbands right wait until you can afford it. Victoria x

 

[Amberleigh]

Wildchild if you read through the posts you would see that we can afford it. As for him losing his job, thats the risk that Every1 thats goes private has to take and we would not lose our home because as a previous post states we rent from council so if we didnt work we would be entitled to housing benefit. My parents also own 3 companies so if the worst did unfortunately happen i have family that can help me

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[angiemason]

i don't want to stick my nose in but would your parents lend you the money then at least you wouldnt have interest as well on top the £200 you pay to catalogue would they accept that every month x

 

[Amberleigh]

Yes angie i think they would. Theyve already mentioned it but i dont like to rely on them if i dont have to and as hubby as said no i dont wanna cause an argument. He wont let me use the catalogue money either just gotta do as im told for now. Im gonna get a job and then he cant say no anymore as he promised. Just as soon as ive finished sulking lol

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[JO28172]

If hate not being in control! Lol time to even out the stakes to qualify for your 50/50 rights!

 

[Amberleigh]

Well i do have 100% control of the tv remote jo lol

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