I want to dump big time (i know it sounds mad)

[Roch]

This is not an easy post for me to write as its admitting how weak i am big time and i feel like a failure !!

Hi all well up to 3/4 days ago i was doing really well i am down 8.7 stone and looking very different and was feeling good.
Then i tried a bit of chocolate which then two days later turned into 4 tsps of an ice cream sundae and still no side effects and this is worrying me big time.
I am very stressed at the mo, as its my Aaron`s 18th party in a couple of weeks and so much to pay for and sort out, and i am so worried how i will look and feel like i am slipping back into bad habits with my food hence the choc and ice cream and this worries me big time.

I know this sounds mad but "i need to dump big time" and hoping the experience will be so bad i will be truly scared to go near any naughty foods at all for fear of dumping. I know some of u will say " ur mad" but for me i need to be scared of dumping so i will not go near "the forbidden sweet foods"

So i just bought a bueno and some choc biscuits and ate the choc and had 3 biscuits and feel sick big time and apart from the gurgling in my tummy and some palpitations no other side effects :cry::cry::cry: and i really need to feel like crap.
Have thrown the rest of the biscuits in the bin as feel really sick, "why did i not dump "

I am so scared i will start to gain weight and the choc the other day was the first time in about 4 months, and i want to kick myself for crossing that line as it was not an issue b4 i never thought bout naughty foods for the fear of the dreaded dump and now its not happening !!!

 

[gemmas85]

I know how u feel. we had a dinner party the other night and one of my friends brought round a chocolate gateaux half only got eaten and now everytime i go in the fridge i have a bit of the topping. it was picking like this that got me to 22 stone the worst that happens to me though is it goes straight through me. I only want to dump the once as it will hopefully put enough fear in me to keep me away from naughty foods

 

[fatbutnot4long]

hi babe! your look amazing already! i used to dump really bad.. for about 4 months im 7 months 2morrow and i dont dump at all now.. well i feel sick if i have too much sugar but really its sometimes jsut down to self control.. we all know if this fails.. theres nothing else after.. just fat and unhappiness! might be that its just down to you now my lovely... its just a tool after all.. use it best you can xx

 

[Karma67]

I hear you Roch!!!

I don't seem to dump either, well not on sweet stuff, fatty foods go right thru me iykwim but I made some chocolate muffins for the family the other day and later on in the evening I thought, 'I will just try one and see what happens, i'm at home if anything bad happens etc'.....and the result....nothing!! :break_diet:

I so want to dump!!! I'm clinging onto the fact that maybe the muffin wasn't sugary enough, so still avoiding sugary stuff, I know the dietician says to test the boundries but I feel like you do, if i know i can eat it im afraid I will

 

[gaelic girl]

I don't think i would dump either eating chocolate cause i haven't ever dumped so far but as you and i have discussed personally i have to believe i would to keep away from it otherwise i'm on a slippery slope. At least you have thrown out the biscuits and you are recognising you could have a problem if you are not careful. 8.7 stone is a fantastic acheivement and keep looking at your before and current pictures to remind you why you have had your bypass (it spurs me on). Stay strong girl you can do this and i'm here to hlp you anytime you need it big hugs xx

 

[jaxx]

I'm on the other side of the coin here, I dump quite easily. I made my mum a bypass friendly cake for her birthday in May so that I could eat a bit and even got the receipe online from a bypassee. I only had a small sliver and I dumped pretty badly. It is not a nice sensation and it does keep me from indulging in anything too sweet.

Try putting a picture of yourself at your heaviest on the fridge and cupboard doors so that you'd have to look at that to get to the naughty foods. Hopefully it will remind you of how awful you felt at that weight and be an encouragement to go and eat something healthy if you're feeling hungry.

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

stay strong and congrats on throwing away the biscuits......just think how fab you are going to look at this party xxxxxxx

 

[StephieAck]

It sounds like you did dump mildly, my worst dump didnt involve vomitting or uncontrollable runs or anything, it was the shaking and going hot and cold and feeling so out of control and sicky (but not being sick) and the gurgling tummy that bothered me and that was by accident. I do have mild dumps now and then if something has hidden sugars or just a tiny bit too much for my body. Its wierd what I can get away with though, I can eat a small bowl of vanilla ice cream and only get windy (I rarely do but I CAN) and I can eat a whole bowl full of fruit and never get more than a bad case of wind, so its really strange how it works for me, but I tell myself that if such innocent foods etc can make me dump then chocolate/deserts etc would probably do the same and as even a mild dump is horrible to me I use that as my own personal will power and I dont intend to ever push it and try something 'bad'. Chocolate and biscuits and cakes got me into the position of needing a bypass, I simply never had the self control to moderate my portions, so I sure as hell am NEVER going to even try chocolate/biscuits/cakes. I also look at it like this, my body struggles to get in enough good nutrition now, what kind of silly would I have to be to fill it up with food that isnt going to help me nourish myself properley, so I only have room for things that give me the best of what I need, so I simply dont have time or space for 'naughty' stuff.
Now, when I dumped the main time, when I really did know that it was dumping, I made a silly mistake, I was making a cake for my husband and quite out of habit I licked some of the mix off of my finger, a LOT of that mixture containing white sugar, so I know that I dumped on the actual sugar. I would never normally suggest this and I imagine that I am going to get some stick for suggesting it, but if you want to dump THAT badly, have a spoon full of sugar and see what happens. If you are anything like me you will dump and dump but good, if not then you are not a dumper and will have to rely on will power. I really do hesitate to advise you to do that as dumping is a wretched feeling, it is horrible and draining and it is just not nice, though when I did it I said to hubby that I was miserable but relieved, Im a dumper and can have the fear that I need. Hence why I wont ever be testing it.
I really do hope that can get to where you want to be, you deserve the very best and I dont like to see you, or anyone else, struggling xx
Steph xx

 

[angie790]

Firstly, not had my op yet, so not talking from personal experience you understand, but I can totally understand what you are saying. I am hoping it's the 'fear' of the dump that will help keep me on the straight & narrow, but if you ain't getting it on the 'fear', I hear where you are coming from!!! I agree with Steph: it does sound like you dumped anyway, but perhaps you are one of the lucky (unlucky) ones that doesn't end up lying prone on the bathroom floor vomming for Endland, cr*pping through the eye of a needle for 4 hours and generally feeling you are about to die...

What can I say, at the risk of being totally castigated, have a pure sugar hit & if you don't dump 'really badly' and the end result is what you have already experienced, then you will need to sit down, have a serious chat with yourself and have a re-think about your approach, as clearly you won't be able to use the 'fear' as a battering stick to be good. Btw, you've already done so great, I am sure you will get back on the straight & narrow when it clicks in your head xxx

 

[Twiggie]

I agree with Angie & Steph, it sounds as though you had a mild dumping experience. I felt something similar this afternoon after having half a slice of toast with just the tiniest smear of strawberry jam on it (I know, I know) Perhaps you could try some jam if you want to make yourself dump, it's about 70% sugar!!

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

Sorry to hear you are not having a good few days Roch. You were doing really well, what has happened to make you turn to food again. Maybe you need to get that sorted first and then you can get back to where you were.

I can understand that you want to be a dumper as it is the fear of dumping that will hopefully keep us on the straight and narrow. (I too am hoping that that fear will keep me away from anything that I shouldn't be eating). Anyway I remember having a chat with you not so long ago and we both agreed that it is good to be able to lead a normal life like others that are slim. Maybe having a couple of mouthfuls is normal. I do believe that you might have had a mild dump and having much more is going to lead to a major one. Do you really want to experience this? I wouldn't risk it if I was you.

Roch you are a fantastic lady and I know you can do this 8.5 stone is a fantastic loss. You new avatar shows how far you have come and Aaron will be incredibly proud of you at his party. Try not to stress about all the organisation over the next few weeks as I am sure Aaron will not want you to be ill. Take care, sending you some virtual (((hugs))).

 

[katstofat]

oh roach its not nice at all beleive me. i had half a choc desert cake in fridge for my hubby n son and they didnt eat it so the next day i went to through it away but thought id just have a little taste first. well before i knew it id eaten the lot , then it started , my legs and arms felt like jelly and wen i moved it felt like everythin was jerky and in slow motion. it was like beeing really drunk everything was like commin and goin everythin sounded away off and echooie my head started to trob and i was retchin like mad but nothin was there , my stomuch fellt so bad , i was hot and cold at the same time i had to lie down and ive never felt so bad in my life i thiought i was goin to die and NO ive not done it since........................kath x

 

[Jackie redgirl]

Hi Roch, i have gotta say, your looking fantastic, well done. i am 5 months out and this last week, for no reason, i have craved food, i have not dared touch sweet things, still got that fear but i have been snacking on crisps, how awful it is to write that ! i have had at least 1 bag a day and on Sunday had two bags, one after another. I have felt sooo bad all week over this and really dont get why i did it, i am trying to put it behind me but it is so difficult. Try to put it behind you and move on, get back on the straight and narrow and best of luck to you. xx

 

[BypassBee]

"I had my bypass to live a normal life, not to be constantly watching every morsel of food that passes my lips, and that in turn is going to help me live a happy and healthy normal life."

stop worrying!
you had the resolve to throw the rest out! thats a huge change in itself! think what you had done pre op!
i ate icecream, all be it low sugar quite soon after my op.
You did this to be normal, you said it yourself, and having the odd icecream or biccie is normal... and you knew when to stop, you should be so proud.



.x.

 

[StephieAck]

Just to prove my point I dumped tonight! I have highlights hot chocolate from time to time and I had a cup last night and was fine. I did nothing different tonight yet I just dumped on it. It wasnt severe, it was just shaking, hot and cold, fuzzy headed and sicky feeling, but it was still a mild dump. Just goes to show you, something can be fine one day and not the next...stupid dumping!!!
Steph xx

 

[salski]

Sorry mate, but I was nearly 12 months post op before I had a full on dumping episode, and with my hormones running wild at the moment I pretty much dump daily! Not good! x

 

[Tyraboots]

Roch. Invest some cash and get yourself hypnotised. \the aversion hypnotherapy.

 

[Stellap]

Hi Roch, can I say firstly that you are looking wonderful and have done so well so don't be so hard on yourself. I don't dump at all on sweet stuff which at first I was disappointed about but it has taught me that the control is down to me and if I don't get my head sorted around food then I will put back on the weight. Its a shame they can't do something with your brain at the same time as operating on your stomach! I have come to the conclusion that I will always have to watch what I eat. I allow myself treats occasionally (like any normal person) but I do keep an eye on them and keep chocolate, cake, ice cream to a minimum. If I have a treat then I go for an icelands strawberry split (58 cals a lolly) and that is only occasionally. You have shown that you have self control by throwing the rest of the goodies out and it will just come with practice and getting in the habit of buying very small amounts of goodies so that you aren't tempted too often. I found that banning them made me want them more. Most of my skinny friends play a balancing act - i.e. they have a treat, then they either work out or cut back for the rest of the week. I'm trying to get that sort of control and having it will make me feel much more secure when dealing with food. There will come a point for most people who have had WLS where they will be able to eat sweet things and I think the key is to get your head sorted around food (easier said than done). Don't beat yourself up and you are definitely not alone in feeling like you do. its a slippery slope from wanting to dump to starting to make yourself sick after eating something 'naughty' and you don't want to go down that road. Hope your son has a great birthday!

 

[Roch]

Hello and ty to all of u for ur replies. The last week has been bad for me and like i said it scared me to see i crossed over and ate naughty foods which like i said has led me to at least 4 days or more of falling off track big time and this horrified me and disgusted me hence wanting to dump big time so i would be always scared to cross the line again.

Unfortunately nothing makes me dump big time, even tried jam, honey and other sweet stuff and the most i had was palpitations for a min or 2 and felt sick.
So for me now i know i just have to stay away permanently from anything naughty as at this present time in my life i cant eat just a tiny bit as this then leads to a few bad days, and although i did not gain any weight it affects me emotionally big time.

I am as of yesterday back on track and giving my pouch a break and i am sticking to just protein shakes and yoghurts and a bit of fruit for the next few weeks untill my son`s party and hopefully then i will get my weight moving again and get back in the swing of eating good healthy foods again.

I know i am worried how i will look no matter what anyone says i still look at myself with disgust at how big i allowed myself to get and although 8.7 stone lighter i am still 19.7 stone and very big and not comfortable with how i look, and with my Aaron`s 18th party on july 17th i wanted to be feeling comfortable and feel good with the way i look and at this present time i do not at all.

Ty again to all of u for ur replies and i hooe ur having a good weekend and enjoying the sun, take care luv Roch xxx

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

Hello Roch

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad about yourself. You are doing so well and to have lost so much is a fantastic achievement. You are a beautiful lady and am sure you are going to look stunning on your son's big day. You are understandably feeling stressed - so take a day off perhaps? It's a beautiful day - just enjoy it. All the best.

tranquil x