Im sorry this is nothing to do with the op

[reema]

Hey guys im sorry but just needed some relationship advice well I'm so in love with this guy Ive known 4 2years he so loves me but can be very controlling as we had a big argument over me wearing make up as he doesn't like it when we go out an everybody's looking at me but i told him that he has to accept me the way i am or nothing as I'm not gonna let him control me.then i kind off broke up with him but he was so upset i new he would do something silly so i called him he was crying and begging me not to leave him what do i do please help me..thank u.

 

[ChefClay]

Hi Reema, speaking from the male perspective, you partner needs to wake up and realise what he is losing by his control and domination. Am I correct in saying he is older than you? Whatever, you also have to make the decision over the future. Is he the type to crumble and cry every time he loses something or does not get hios own way? Is he likely to change or is this a subtle method of controlling you? I would think long and hard about any kind of future with this man unless you are convinced that he will change his whole character! Best of luck which ever route you decide - Paul x

 

[cherry]

hi this is a toughie, i would say you have to be YOU in your relationship and if you wanna wear makeup then you wear it, i take it you did before you got together and when you met?! it was ok then hey so should be now!!!..... its abit uncomfortable reading tho you saying you know he'd do something silly, thats a control he s done on his part to make sure you come running back, thats extremely controlling and quite frankly un accepable to do, on someone, i would say, if thats me, you either go to counselling with me or its over, and be strong and walk away, no matter how many times he says he ll do something.... good luck x

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

Reema, please dont stay with someone who is controlling, it can be demoralising and you go with in yourself and lose confidence. This is what happened in my first marriage and when you look back its awful its no life.
By all means sit and explain to him what hes done and that if he wants to stay with you he has to accept you as you are.
Also i am not being nasty but whatever he does to himself, if he decides he don't want to be with you, or wont change, it will not be your thought this is how these men control you, because they always think your come running actually only 2% ever actually do anything to themselves mostly its a ploy to get you running back xxx

Please think of yourself darling and take care xxxx

 

[cazbandy]

Hi Reema

My advice, get out now!

Men like this never change.

They will promise to, but they never will.

I gather you are not married and there are no children involved. So get out and be you again, before he knocks your self esteem to the floor.

I know it's hard to walk away but in the end, some where down the line when you are in really good, happy, loving and BALANCED relationship, you will be soooo glad you did.

Men like this are loosers and only want a submissive woman - is that you?

 

[jaffa_cake]

Hi

GET OUT NOW!!

This wimp will never change, like Cazbandy said, they never do! He is controlling you and will continue to do so and it will most likely only get worse, you got your op to make you feel better but how can you do that with this looser bringing you down, we all wear make-up it makes us feel good about ourselves so continue to do it!

He wont go through with his threats of doing something to himself, he's a wimp but if he wants to let him, he isn't your problem, you have your own life to live and you only get one chance at it so grab the bull by the horns and walk out now and dont lok back, if he keeps hassling you contact the police and get a restraining order out on him etc

I really hope you make the right decision FOR YOU and not for someone else

Jaffa x

EDIT

Forgot to add, I was in a relationship like this years ago and put up with it for 2 years, woke up one morning, packed my bags and left and never looked back, yes he tortured me asking me to come back etc but I just thought no way do I wanna have children with someone like this and live the rest of MY life with someone like this, best decision I ever made! You can do it hun if you put your mind to it, confide in a friend or family member who can help you leave him x

 

[Bev]

Hi Reema,

If I were in your position, I would be trying not to let my heart rule my head.

From my 50 odd years on this earth, I have found that men don't tend to improve when they have controlling ways and it is likely that if his personality has these traits... they won't be changing.

Very hard when feelings are involved and emotions. I can't help but feel concerned about your weight loss journey and the fact that you are going to get slimmer and slimmer plus more confidant.

I wouldn't want to be embarking on this journey with anyone who would hold me back or make life unhappy, because you are wanting to be yourself.

Please stand back and take a long hard look at your future and where you are going here... there is only you that can change things, but never put yourself at risk of any escalation or violence!

We are always here for you and sending you a huge hug.... get thinking and try to move forward.

xxx

 

[Fashionably Late]

Oh hon, such a hard situation to be in. I agree with the others and that you need to get out of this relationship. His controlling you is a form of abuse. His insecurities will destroy you in time.

 

[Amrac1]

Poor you! However you are a strong person. Make your own decisions that affect your life. You have to live it after all! He sounds very insecure and that is making him controlling. Insist he gets some help but you do what is best for you. Best of luck.

 

[keeley86]

Hiya luv, He sounds like d***head to me luv, i agree with the others - get out now! if you go back to him now you will only find it harder to get out further down the line when you realise he wont change, think about yourself on this one and think about where you want to be in the future...... is he realy the one for you????? and do you honestly think he will change???????? i hope you make the right decision. sending *big hugs* :hug99: your way xxxxxxxxx

 

[BlueDiamond]

Hi Reema

My advice, get out now!

Men like this never change.

They will promise to, but they never will.

I agree 100% - MeJulie xx

 

[gaelic girl]

My best friend was married to a guy like this for years and it nearly broke her he started with wee things like clothes make up etc then it got worse and more dangerous. Like your oh he would break down and say all the right words but it didn't change a thing. I know you love him but soon you will no longer exsist as you and you will have no friends left cause thats what these men do they gradually cut you off and isolate you. Please try hard to seperate your heart from your head cause you have the ultimate right to be who you want to be in this life.Big hugs to you xx

 

[dottychic]

Im so sorry you are in such a horrible situation. As the ladies have already said, from years of experience, men like this just dont change. It will break you emotionally, you will become a shell of yourself if you stay with him. One person controlling another in any relationship is always a bad thing and only he can change it. I really feel for you as you obviously have strong feelings for him but he is using that to try and make you stay. Please leave whilst you can still look at it objectively. ((HUGS)) X

 

[reema]

Thank you all 4 your support and your concerns and you all are right but why do i love him so much i think because all my life i was waiting for a guy like him hes so good looking loving he loves me to the max but his controlling manner i really don't like i think its his up bringing as he lives in Saudi Arabia but thank you all again i will find away to get out..xxx

 

[Bev]

Good to hear that you are going to try and break out Reema... look beyond good looks... they don't last and do take care xxx

 

[reema]

Good to hear that you are going to try and break out Reema... look beyond good looks... they don't last and do take care xxx

Hey hun hope Ur doing well? thank you so much for your concern i will beak out i no i have to as im very independent i wont let him destroy me as i wont recognise me self..take care.xx

 

[Bev]

Good luck Reema and keep a positive, independent attitude... all the very best to you xxx

 

[reema]

Good luck Reema and keep a positive, independent attitude... all the very best to you xxx

thank you once again do you have facebook as i would love to get to kno you if so please do give me your email so i could add you that is if you dont mind..take care hunxx

 

[Bev]

That's lovely Reema, I don't bother with Facebook as yet... but when I do, I will come back to you, please take special care of you! We are only on this earth for a short space of time ~ in this life!
Much love xxx

 

[gaelic girl]

Just another wee comment Reema you are in love with him because you have a vision of your ideal man and in your heart he is it but in your head you know he isn't. It won't be easy to break free but there is someone out there for you who will love you for who you are and will be happy to see you happy doing, wearing and saying what you want. The friend i talked about is now totally and utterly in love with a great man who has taught her that she deserved this kind of love all along. Big hugs full of good luck xx