It happened again....

[Ruthiep]

Someone asked me outright if I'd had surgery.

Last time it was a friend of mine, who called me at home after seeing me at a dinner. I was only a couple of months post op then, but it was the first time in years I'd dared to wear a belt. She asked me if I'd had the gastric band and I (truthfully) said no I hadn't had the band. Afterwards I felt bad, went round to her house and 'fessed up, swearing her to secrecy.

This time the incident was (1) in the middle of the street (2) not a friend as such, a synagogue acquaintance who is also known to be a real nosy parker and a bit of a loudmouth to put it mildly. She called over to me "Ruthie! What do you EAT all day?" While I was struggling to work out how to answer this, she came over and said "have you had a gastric bypass?" Again I answered "no" (truthfully), and wondered when someone was going to hit upon the truth. I'm not an outright liar. If she'd either asked me if I'd had weight loss surgery, , or asked me if I'd had the sleeve, I think I'd have told her the truth, nosey parker or not. Or I might have said "Yes I've had some help losing weight but I don't want to discuss it." Or something. As her motive in asking me wasn't one of information seeking so she could get her own help (although she could definitely do it with it) but just for nosy parkering, I didn't feel as guilty as I did when I felt I had misled my friend.

 

[happy days]

Some people I find are genuinely pleased for you but others see it as the easy option. Little do they realise there's nothing easy about a life time commitment.
Personally I tell everyone and don't care what anyone thinks

 

[Dinda]

It is really difficult with peole you only know in passing as opposed to someone who loves and cares for you. I wouldn't feel too bad about being a bit evasive because TBH it's nobody else's business and unless s/he wants to swap full medical histories why should you share something personal and private if you don't want to?
You could say, I had abdominal surgery (which is what the Dr put on my sick certificate for work) which is true, but not the full details.
Disclosure was something I chose to do, mainly because I had very publicly gained my 17 stone lighter life loss in the blink of an eye (it seemed) and I was tired of it all.
If someone is genuinely interested and the knowledge will help them then go for it, but if someone just wants to dissect your life and gossip to give themselves something to do then I'm all for keeping them guessing! It never ceases to amaze me how many people think they have a right to invade your privacy/personal life. A woman in the local shop congratulated me on my weightloss then said 'you must have a lot of loose skin though' I was gobsmacked (and if I wasn't so well behaved, she might have been too as it was quite busy in the shop and all eyes turning to scrutinise me was mortifying)

You were not handed weightloss, you chose a brave path and worked hard to keep on track. You have a lot to be proud of x

 

[Ruthiep]

I didn't see the point in admitting to any kind of surgery.This wasn't for work, it was a direct inquiry as to whether I'd had the bypass. I recovered so fast and so discreetly; I didn't even miss one week of synagogue attendance. I could have said "I had help but don't want to discuss it," but that would be giving away more than I was willing to, especially with Mrs. Nosy Parker who accosted me in the street. I have admitted my surgery to various chosen people who have been very supportive, but as the common reaction "out there" is "oh well, you took the easy way out", I decided she didn't need to know.

 

[emma-louise]

I didn't see the point in admitting to any kind of surgery.This wasn't for work, it was a direct inquiry as to whether I'd had the bypass. I recovered so fast and so discreetly; I didn't even miss one week of synagogue attendance. I could have said "I had help but don't want to discuss it," but that would be giving away more than I was willing to, especially with Mrs. Nosy Parker who accosted me in the street. I have admitted my surgery to various chosen people who have been very supportive, but as the common reaction "out there" is "oh well, you took the easy way out", I decided she didn't need to know.

Ruthie I have done the same as you,only chose 2 close friends to tell about my surgery.
And asked them to keep it to themselves,I've had so many people ask me "how have you done it?"
And I've just replied "by eating plenty of protein and veg and cut out carbs" which is the truth!
I probely would have told all about surgery,but its sad to say I know most people would think I took the "easy route".

 

[chrisa]

Any one that thinks its an easy ride wants to walk in our shoes for a month or so am sure they would soon change their minds xx

 

[emma-louise]

Any one that thinks its an easy ride wants to walk in our shoes for a month or so am sure they would soon change their minds xx

My best friend told me I was very brave to do what I have,she's big herself and said she could never do it x

 

[chrisa]

Mine have been very supportive and only bout month ago did 1 of them say how big an operation it was they didnt realise what a serious op it was xx

 

[Ruthiep]

Ruthie I have done the same as you,only chose 2 close friends to tell about my surgery.
And asked them to keep it to themselves,I've had so many people ask me "how have you done it?"
And I've just replied "by eating plenty of protein and veg and cut out carbs" which is the truth!
I probely would have told all about surgery,but its sad to say I know most people would think I took the "easy route".

Pretty much exactly what I say if they ask me "How did you do it?" instead of "did you have a bypass/band?" I just say "I am low carbing and working hard at it," which is 100% true.

 

[JoJoTGirl]

Actually sitting here spitting pips over a similar(ish) situation. My Mum's best friends daughter (who is a friend on Facebook) just read a comment someone put on "wow ing" at my now apparently very noticeable weight loss.........I too have stuck to the very low calorie, low fat, low sugar, low carb, high protein dietician lead diet thing (which is not a lie) with acqaintances, although most of my genuine friends (those who can be trusted not to blab and eat in my company regularly!)and all of my family know......I digress.....sorry.
Anyway, she phoned her Mum, who phoned my Mum and asked about it so my mother told her!!!???!!? Then called me to say she hoped it was alright!?!?!? Despite being told in no uncertain terms from outset it was private business!!?!?! I AM LIVID!
She has called her friend and sworn her to secrecy but I bet she tells her daughter (in confidence you know!) who tells..... blah blah blah! Not a happy chappy. Why do people have to be so bloomin nosey. Can't they just be pleased for you? : (