My BESTEST EVER FRIEND.... Advice needed

[beach--ball]

Hi All
My best friend has advised me that she is having a gastric band fitted, she has had her initial appt and is paying privately circa 7k, which inc as many adjustments as necessary for the year proceeding the op. She has researched it thoroughly.

I am supporting her 1,000,000%, she has been obese since early childhood and never ever ever under 16st and at 5ft 1 - has struggled with diets for probably 30yrs! (same as me really LOL).....

She lost both her parents within 2yrs of each other both in incredibly sudden circumstances - which obviously didnt help xx xx

I want to know exactly wat I can do to support her after her op and leading up to it and the sorts of things that she will have to change within her life! I dont like to ask too many questions as she's told no one except me and her wonder OH...

Any advice for me xx xx xx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

hi clare, welcome to the wls section, all i can advise is be there for her if she wants to chat, she will have to change certain things in her diet such as bread, red meat pasta or rice, she will need extreme will power with sweet foods such as choc, ice cream ect as the band will not stop her eating those food types, why dont you suggest to her becoming a mini's member so she can also get support here as well.

liz x

 

[beach--ball]

Yes - I think I will do that - I want her to have all the support she needs, I can only listen and be there as can her OH but if she can chat to peeps going through the same thing I am sure that it will give her even more.....
I'll do that later!
She's got a very sweet tooth xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

clare bands dont work so well for ppl with a sweet tooth as it wont restrict those foods from being eaten, she will need full will power with that as bands work better for volume eaters that love a huge portion i was a volume eater and always had my plate piled high, my band has helped me alot with dealing with portion control, bypass is better for sweet eaters or grazers, i dont know your friend but she may have the will power to combat sweet food cravings once banded, i can only comment from experience and knowing alot of banders x

 

[AA1234]

The band can work just as well for sweet eaters. There is new evidence to support this (will find the link).

There are many people who put the band and bypass into to categories but in fact they are both as successful as each other. Both can be cheated and both need a lot of will power.

You say your friend as done a lot of research so she will already know this and have made her decision based on this.

You are a great friend and she is lucky to have someone like you for support.

The results aren't as fast as with the bypass so you will need to keep encouraging in the early days because it can take a while to get the band filled to ensure the best restriction. But once it is there she will have the same success long term.

 

[Bonita]

I'm not going to give any advise because everything you need to know can be found on this forum.

What I want to say is:- Your mate is very lucky to have a friend as caring as you and I hope she realises it. Too many times we read on here how people have tried to tell their friend who just don't understand and end up upsetting them.

Well done.

 

[quetiapina]

Hi Clare, what a great friend you are! There are so many people who post here that have found loved ones to be unsupportive (i'm one of the lucky ones with v supportive friends and family).

There is so much support here, it would be great if she joined x

 

[Meggie]

I wish my friends were half as supportive as you!!! I have only told a couple of people and their reactions have put me off telling other people!!!

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

hi meg, negative reactions are usually down to the person you tell being jellous, ignore them there just ignorant people xxx

 

[archiesmum]

Hi Clare. How wonderful to have a best friend like you. I know that it makes all the difference having your friends support - mine have been brilliant. It makes things so much easier when people are on your side helping and not waiting for you to fail!!

 

[Meggie]

I know, I have started to accept that. It was just hard to hear those reactions to start with. Glad everyone is so supportive here though!!!

hi meg, negative reactions are usually down to the person you tell being jellous, ignore them there just ignorant people xxx

 

[serenitylove]

my best friend has been great best things she does is listen when i want to moan, distract me from the choc section in the shop im very sweet toothed and its the hardest part in reality, and she walks me for miles lol

 

[beach--ball]

Well THANK YOU ALL! How nice of you to be nice to me! LOL
I've told her she can join me in the 'liquid food world' with me currently on CD Diet, it'll be someone to share it with...

As I said I am 100% behind her - and although not as big have also had 'thoughts' myself due to having no 'off' switch when it comes to food!

Heck I can diet but with maximum 4 1/2 st to lose & being a size 10-12 I can only appreciate how daunting it must be to have to lose 8st+????? I guess you feel you are starting a journey with absolutely no end in sight?????

She had tried all diets, I guess like most of us and feels that this maybe the opportunity to finally get where she needs to be - so who am I or anyone else to judge her on how she gets there!?!?

I'm excited for her, and though I know how she feels in the mornings telling herself over and over again that TODAY must be the start - I see it like she is going to get that 'today is the new start' just in a different way!

One again, thank you for you comments and I will be speaking to her soon about joining the site - even if she does it and doesnt tell me who she is - (sometimes there's stuff you just wanna post anonymously????) at least I'll know she's got first hand advice and support xx xx xx

 

[gaelic girl]

Hi Clare
You are def a really good friend. You have come to the right place the support/advice on here is second to none. I'm having a bypass on 7th Aug but we all have lots in common here and are a real friendly bunce. Looking forward to "meeting" your best pal when she decides to say hello. Just by being there and doing what you are doing is the best possible start to supporting your best pal xx

 

[thinkbethin]

What a wonderful friend you are Clare. Just wanting to support her through this is one of the best things you can do. Well done you on being committed to help your very lucky friend. Good luck to you both on your weight loss journey via op and cd.

 

[beach--ball]

What a wonderful friend you are Clare. Just wanting to support her through this is one of the best things you can do. Well done you on being committed to help your very lucky friend. Good luck to you both on your weight loss journey via op and cd.

Well she'll have plenty in common with you - if thats you in your Avatar - she adores horses and has 2 of her own xx