My story so far... (finally got my date!!)

[_Victoria_]

Hey everyone! I've been a member of the forums for around two years now but never really wanted to start my own diary until i got my date and knew everything was actually real. Well on Thursday i got my date!! So here goes...

It sounds a bit dramatic to say that my problems started in the womb... lol but for me, they actually did! Without going into too much detail, my mom had lots of complications in her pregnancy that resulted in the loss of my twin and an amniotic fluid leakage. I was being slowly crushed in her womb and was born with dislocated hips and a bunch of other issues that have, from birth, made my mobility limited.

When i got to around 9, my knees started to dislocate which meant lots of time off school and even less mobility which was the point i really started to gain weight. Missing lots of school, being the "fat girl" and being registered disabled meant that my experience at school wasn't a happy one.

Over the years I've gained more weight and lost more confidence. It's a vicious circle i couldn't ever seem to break. To the point where I'd become practically housebound. If it wasn't my mobility holding me back it was my lack of confidence.

Then in May 2015, my brother got married... In Thailand. Not only couldn't i make it to that but i turned 30 at the same time. Most of my immediate family were at my brothers wedding so i spent my birthday without them, while missing one of the most important moments of my brothers life... All because of my weight. I realised then that i needed to make a change and in September of that year i summoned up all the mental strength i had and made an appointment to see my GP to be referred for weight loss surgery.

My first appointment was in November 2015. I'm now 32 and 4 and half stone lighter than i was back then. Still with a long long way to go but finally with hope that I'm going to actually get somewhere. I got put on the waiting list for surgery on Valentines Day this year and on Thursday FINALLY got my date for surgery. January 15th. The official start date of my new life At the moment I'm mostly overwhelmed... But I'm starting to feel more excited. I start my pre op diet on Monday so it's finally real!! The pre op diet is what I'm actually the most nervous about... So i wanted to make sure i started a diary as added pressure to keep myself on the straight and narrow.

I'm expecting an emotional ride. I'm so thankful for these forums and all of you girls and guys. Over the past two years all your posts and diaries have kept me inspired, motivated and most of all SANE! It's been such a help to me to be able to come here and ask questions or read about all of your experiences. I know I'm going to be relying on that even more now that I'm about to start the next stage of my journey and I'm really happy that there's such an amazing bunch of people here that i know have all felt the same as i have or the same as i will at some point or another.

Sorry for the essay! I promise to try and not make all of my entries this long... "Try" being the key word

 

[Bling Babe]

Victoria you know there’s no need to apologise for the long post, it’s good to get a little background, you’ve already done amazingly well I’m your going to continue with great achievements once your on the losers bench. Good luck with the milk diet, at Luton we have to do it for a month as soon as we get our first appointment but I have to say I didn’t find it too bad to be honest, have to do it again for 2 weeks in March before my surgery but I have a wedding to go to part way through so that’ll be interesting
How long do you have to do yours for ? Xx

 

[_Victoria_]

I have to do mine for 6 weeks because of how high my BMI was to start... I'm lucky i think in regards to the pre op diet because at heartlands where i am they say you can choose between 5 different diets but that you can actually switch between those daily and that you don't have to stick to one the whole time. The milk diet i thought i would never want to do because i'm not really one for sweet stuff and didn't think i would cope with it very well. But now that the diet is so close i'm actually considering it just so i don't have to THINK about food. The "real food" diet i thought i'd be wanting to do is all about having certain amounts of different types of food each day. Like one portion of carbs, 5 portions of veg, 3 portion of protein and so on.. But that's gonna be hard for me to keep track of in my house. My family come here a lot.. and their kids come here a lot.. so there's always food around, bad food. and all my family are overweight so they suffer with their own issues when it comes to food. I cant expect them to do my diet, i realise i'm kind of in it alone.. especially in the lead up to christmas.. so the idea of not having to think about what i'm eating is really appealing right about now. i have to make sure i dont slip!

 

[Maria61]

Hey everyone! I've been a member of the forums for around two years now but never really wanted to start my own diary until i got my date and knew everything was actually real. Well on Thursday i got my date!! So here goes...

It sounds a bit dramatic to say that my problems started in the womb... lol but for me, they actually did! Without going into too much detail, my mom had lots of complications in her pregnancy that resulted in the loss of my twin and an amniotic fluid leakage. I was being slowly crushed in her womb and was born with dislocated hips and a bunch of other issues that have, from birth, made my mobility limited.

When i got to around 9, my knees started to dislocate which meant lots of time off school and even less mobility which was the point i really started to gain weight. Missing lots of school, being the "fat girl" and being registered disabled meant that my experience at school wasn't a happy one.

Over the years I've gained more weight and lost more confidence. It's a vicious circle i couldn't ever seem to break. To the point where I'd become practically housebound. If it wasn't my mobility holding me back it was my lack of confidence.

Then in May 2015, my brother got married... In Thailand. Not only couldn't i make it to that but i turned 30 at the same time. Most of my immediate family were at my brothers wedding so i spent my birthday without them, while missing one of the most important moments of my brothers life... All because of my weight. I realised then that i needed to make a change and in September of that year i summoned up all the mental strength i had and made an appointment to see my GP to be referred for weight loss surgery.

My first appointment was in November 2015. I'm now 32 and 4 and half stone lighter than i was back then. Still with a long long way to go but finally with hope that I'm going to actually get somewhere. I got put on the waiting list for surgery on Valentines Day this year and on Thursday FINALLY got my date for surgery. January 15th. The official start date of my new life At the moment I'm mostly overwhelmed... But I'm starting to feel more excited. I start my pre op diet on Monday so it's finally real!! The pre op diet is what I'm actually the most nervous about... So i wanted to make sure i started a diary as added pressure to keep myself on the straight and narrow.

I'm expecting an emotional ride. I'm so thankful for these forums and all of you girls and guys. Over the past two years all your posts and diaries have kept me inspired, motivated and most of all SANE! It's been such a help to me to be able to come here and ask questions or read about all of your experiences. I know I'm going to be relying on that even more now that I'm about to start the next stage of my journey and I'm really happy that there's such an amazing bunch of people here that i know have all felt the same as i have or the same as i will at some point or another.

Sorry for the essay! I promise to try and not make all of my entries this long... "Try" being the key word

Good luck and so glad you have your op date. I too am at Luton so did the milk diet. It was not too bad as you don’t have to think about it, no meal planning etc. I wish you every success xxxx

 

[_Victoria_]

Thank you, @Maria61 ! I'm really glad i have it too. They told me back in February that i would have to wait up to 6 months for surgery.. 6 months came and went and i heard nothing at all so since then i have been driving myself a bit crazy. Not knowing has always been the thing i've had the most trouble with haha

So.. today is the day i say goodbye to eating food as i know it. Tomorrow the pre op diet starts! I'm relieved in a way... i thought once i got my date i would want to eat everything in sight thinking it would be the last time i could eat it without having to worry about getting sick or overly full. But in all honesty i've probably eaten less than usual. I've tried to think of things i really want to eat that i don't think i will be able to for a while but i can't actually think of anything specific. I suppose when you have to choose just ONE thing out of all the possibilities it just gets overwhelming.

I know i'm gonna have a real struggle on my hands over the next few weeks. My mom already got me an advent calendar and told me "one a day wont hurt you" and there's been a few comments about having a couple of days off at Christmas. I'm lucky i have you guys and so i know the importance of really sticking to the pre op diet religiously. One a day WILL HURT. And it just isn't worth the risk... I've waited two years for this and it's been the most emotional time of my life. I can't waste all of that for an advent calendar or a Christmas dinner.

 

[Princess Tiger]

Exciting @_Victoria_
You can do it

 

[_Victoria_]

Thank you! I think i am getting excited now Was in shock for a while lol

 

[loz1310]

Hi Victoria,
I’m at Luton also. I finally see the surgeon this Thursday. I’m very apprehensive as this is the final leg I guess and I’ve put a bit of weight back on that I lost with the initial milk diet. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis which limits my movement I did something positive today and went to the gym although I’m feeling it now lol. Will gauge it how I am tomorrow before I return tomorrow. I’m hoping the weight gain doesn’t set me back.

Did you wait for a letter or did the surgeon tell you the date?

X

 

[Maria61]

Thank you, @Maria61 ! I'm really glad i have it too. They told me back in February that i would have to wait up to 6 months for surgery.. 6 months came and went and i heard nothing at all so since then i have been driving myself a bit crazy. Not knowing has always been the thing i've had the most trouble with haha

So.. today is the day i say goodbye to eating food as i know it. Tomorrow the pre op diet starts! I'm relieved in a way... i thought once i got my date i would want to eat everything in sight thinking it would be the last time i could eat it without having to worry about getting sick or overly full. But in all honesty i've probably eaten less than usual. I've tried to think of things i really want to eat that i don't think i will be able to for a while but i can't actually think of anything specific. I suppose when you have to choose just ONE thing out of all the possibilities it just gets overwhelming.

I know i'm gonna have a real struggle on my hands over the next few weeks. My mom already got me an advent calendar and told me "one a day wont hurt you" and there's been a few comments about having a couple of days off at Christmas. I'm lucky i have you guys and so i know the importance of really sticking to the pre op diet religiously. One a day WILL HURT. And it just isn't worth the risk... I've waited two years for this and it's been the most emotional time of my life. I can't waste all of that for an advent calendar or a Christmas dinner.

You can do it xxx

 

[Bling Babe]

Hi Victoria,
I’m at Luton also. I finally see the surgeon this Thursday. I’m very apprehensive as this is the final leg I guess and I’ve put a bit of weight back on that I lost with the initial milk diet. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis which limits my movement I did something positive today and went to the gym although I’m feeling it now lol. Will gauge it how I am tomorrow before I return tomorrow. I’m hoping the weight gain doesn’t set me back.

Did you wait for a letter or did the surgeon tell you the date?

X

Hi I’m at Luton and I think it depends who you see, I have Mr Jain who gave me my date there and then as he did with Maria61 but there are others on here who saw a different surgeon and they were told to wait for a letter, good luck I shall look forward to your update, my surgery is March 27th and I saw Mr Jain on 9th November when he gave me my date xxx

 

[_Victoria_]

Hello @loz1310 I'm actually in Birmingham and under Heartlands hospital for my surgery. When i met my surgeon he told me he'd put me on the waiting list that day but nothing much else. I didn't know how i'd get the news about my date. I assumed it would be a phone call or something but they just sent it by letter. I had two letters, One had my surgery date and info about that and also my pre op assessment appointment and info... and the other had my pre op information and a phone call appointment with my dietitian

 

[_Victoria_]

Thanks @Maria61!! I'm feeling positive for today Trying to prepare myself for the worst while hoping for the best. haha

 

[Cat57]

hi victoria is it your liver shrinkage diet you are starting today, just read a few of your posts, you have you op date now how exciting, hopefully i should get mine soon, i think i might follow you if thats ok as I will be doing similar things soon... what date have you been given for your op ?

 

[_Victoria_]

Hi Cat! Yeah, that's the one! I really am excited now... It seems crazy that after all this time i'm actually at this point of my journey. It felt like it wasn't gonna happen for a while. Now i just gotta make sure i really really stick to it so i don't fluff my chance.
It would be awesome of you to follow me, thanks!!
Have you been on the waiting list for a while? Which hospital are you at?

 

[_Victoria_]

So one day down on my pre op diet and i survived! All the worry seems for nothing at the moment but i know its going to get harder. I opted for the Milk diet for my first day just so i knew i had my head around everything. Kept it simple.. I chose muller lights and can only have 6 of those and my pint of milk but didn't even manage the 6. Stopped at 4 and felt like i couldn't take anymore. Haha. I already admired anyone that stuck with milk diet because i always knew that would be a huge task for me. Just after one day i admire all you guys even more!! I Don't know how anyone does 2 weeks on that!! Today is day two.. of 42! And i chose to try the real food diet and see how i go...

 

[Cat57]

well done on your 1st day, I think i would like to try the milk diet, not sure if i could follow it through but would like to give it a go. My first appointment was last december, and the hospital I am with is Homerton. how long away is your op?

 

[_Victoria_]

Thanks so much My op is exactly 39 days away and counting!! lol
The Milk diet is literally milk and yogurt.. that's all you can eat the whole time. It would be too much for me to do that solid for the whole time because its just all too sweet. Don't get me wrong.. i didn't get as big as i am by not eating sweets.. haha but i was always more of a savoury girl. By the end of the day i just wanted something to take off that sweet edge.
It's day 4 of my pre op today and i'm very happy to say i'm still 100% on track and sticking to it religiously. I'm not struggling with it so far so that's nice because i was really worried about it. Not because i don't think i can stick to a normal diet.. but just because you have to measure everything on the real food diet and i haven't ever been great with meal prep and portion sizes. I know it's something i have to get used to though so i'm looking at it positively and using it as a learning opportunity.

 

[Maria61]

Thanks so much My op is exactly 39 days away and counting!! lol
The Milk diet is literally milk and yogurt.. that's all you can eat the whole time. It would be too much for me to do that solid for the whole time because its just all too sweet. Don't get me wrong.. i didn't get as big as i am by not eating sweets.. haha but i was always more of a savoury girl. By the end of the day i just wanted something to take off that sweet edge.
It's day 4 of my pre op today and i'm very happy to say i'm still 100% on track and sticking to it religiously. I'm not struggling with it so far so that's nice because i was really worried about it. Not because i don't think i can stick to a normal diet.. but just because you have to measure everything on the real food diet and i haven't ever been great with meal prep and portion sizes. I know it's something i have to get used to though so i'm looking at it positively and using it as a learning opportunity.

Well done, keep going you can do this xx

 

[_Victoria_]

Thank You @Maria61 you're so lovely!!

Today was a tough one. My Mom was doing a buffet for a friends brother so the smell of everything i couldn't eat was hard to handle! And then... after i resisted that, everyone had McDonalds for dinner which i'm ashamed to admit is my weakness. So that was really hard for me too. But they do say every cloud has a silver lining and today for me that was my oldest sister who didn't have McDonalds with me and instead made me a chili that was within my real food diet restrictions. It really warmed my heart because shes told me previously that she really doesn't want me to have the surgery.. i think more just because shes worried about me rather than anything negative or her not being supportive.. so today i felt like she was really being supportive and that she really wants me to do well so that made me feel really happy

 

[Cat57]

Thank You @Maria61 you're so lovely!!

Today was a tough one. My Mom was doing a buffet for a friends brother so the smell of everything i couldn't eat was hard to handle! And then... after i resisted that, everyone had McDonalds for dinner which i'm ashamed to admit is my weakness. So that was really hard for me too. But they do say every cloud has a silver lining and today for me that was my oldest sister who didn't have McDonalds with me and instead made me a chili that was within my real food diet restrictions. It really warmed my heart because shes told me previously that she really doesn't want me to have the surgery.. i think more just because shes worried about me rather than anything negative or her not being supportive.. so today i felt like she was really being supportive and that she really wants me to do well so that made me feel really happy

how lovely was that of her... sounds like she is well and truly going to be supporting her little sister. it will be nice to know have someone you can talk to when you need it....