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New and looking for advice

M

MoonChild

Member
Hi there everyone. I have been reasearching wls for quite some time and I'm finally coming to the conclusion that I need to have it done. I'm female 5' 3" and roughly 23 stones, I have been overweight my entire life and I am now 36. I am happily married my husband loves me as I am but we want a baby and with me being overweight as I am and also having pcos it's not gonna happen unless I do something. I have tried every diet out there, pills, weight loss clubs and anything else I could. I have been to my doctor and they just fob me off, if I go ahead I will be self funding but I'm at a cross roads. I am absolutely terrified of having the op and not waking up or having it and then complications which I won't recover from. I was thinking of the band as it's the least invasive but recently been thinking of bypass. My husband isn't too happy about this but I need to do something as I want to be a mother so badly it hurts, also I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable in my skin and feeling like I'm being stared at all the time. I want to be slim and healthy and wake up happy and look forward to my day. At the moment I have so much anxiety when I think about leaving the house as I hate the way I am. I know it's a long post and I'm sorry but it was good to get my feelings out, my husband is so supportive I just think he's scared for me as it's a big op and lifestyle change. If anyone could give advice that would be fab as I said my biggest fear is dying, either through not waking up from the op, complications after or just from being overweight. I've read some posts here and you all seem amazing so I'm sending love to you all. Thanks for reading this far and thanks in advance for any insight you can give ☺ xxx
 
Hi Moon and a big welcome hug ..
I am 12 week post Bander and I do not regret the op for one second .. It's the best thing I ever did .. I had to self fund also as the doctor would not help me ..
I am 53 and weighed 25.8st .. BMI of over 50 ..
I've waisted over 30 years being overweight , unhappy , unhealthy and damn lying to myself that I was ok with it ..
You have to come to that point in your life when you've had enough .. Enough to of being judged , of being stared at , of being breathless , sweaty and hating catching sight of your reflection ..
My only wish is that financially I wish , I could have afforded the surgery a lot sooner but I can't turn the clock back now ..
Your still so young , so don't waste any more of your life wishing if this is within your grasp ..
Whatever type of surgery your choose , you must realise it isn't a magic spell that will stop you from eating the wrong foods .. It will help you enormously to loose weight , but it's your head battle you will have to fight until it's all under control and your bad habits have changed ..
Read everything you can and go have a consultation with a weight loss surgeon is my advice .. Make sure your husband goes with you and write down everything you want to ask so you don't forget anything ..

So far in 12 weeks post op and my 2 weeks liver shrink diet beforehand , I have lost 52lbs . I am so happy I cannot put it into words .. It's a battle though , each and every day I fight with my head hunger .. It still wants to fill my face with carbs and fats , but so far I'm winning the battle :)
Good luck with whatever course you choose ..
Xxxxx
 
Hi Moonchild. Welcome. I think everyone gets fear or anxious at one point but if it's what you really want you will get over it. You have to look at how better your life will be after the op. Good luck
 
Hi moonchild
I agree with all the above I'm 6 weeks after a gastric sleeve and I've lost 3stone
I'm 48 was 21st and bmi 51
My fear was not waking up due to anaesthetic and being overweight but I told them this and even in theatre they whispered to me
We promise we will see you after the op !!
I just kept telling myself if I hadn't had surgery I would do my health no favours and god knows what would have happened ....
Good luck with whatever you decide
You will get help advice and support on here whatever happens
Xxxxxxx
 
What they all said ^
It's a massive decision and it's ok to be scared. I think a lot of us got the last minute jitters and in my case that was after a very long time working with medical professionals to try and lose weight. I knew the sleeve was my only option but any WLS is certainly not an easy way out.
You will need your husband's support though so definitely get him to come along to any appointments. I'm sure you know this but ask how long you'd have to wait to get pregnant post surgery and how you'd cope with the demands on your body depending which type of surgery you have. I know a bander who had a her band relaxed for example but she also struggled not to then binge so it's really important to plan out each step of your journey.
Good luck and oops welcome to the community :)
 
Morning all thanks so much for your replies. I am really scared but am scared anyway that I'm gonna be like this for the rest of my life. My husband would be with me and he does support me but I think it upsets him that I want to go under this op because of how I feel. He has never made me feel like it matters but it matters to me. I have been looking at the sleeve but it seems more expensive for some reason but looks like the better option to bypass as less invasive? Any help that you can provide will be be much appreciated, I have read up on getting pregnant afterwards and both the bypass and sleeve have good results. I'm scared about changing my life forever but I think it's time I did something after struggling so long and I want a baby before I get too old lol. Tracey do you still manage to eat out and things with your sleeve? And yes I am terrified of going under your nuses sound lovely. I'm gonna do a bit more research so will probably be asking lots of questions so bear with me lol xx your all so lovely xx
 
Hey welcome to the forums and what a great first step.

I have to say that since having my sleeve my anxiety had lowered a lot and I'm now able to stop taking as many tablets.

I started my journey at nearly 32st and I'm now 24st 10 7 weeks post op.

It's a long road ahead and it isn't always easy.

I was put under anaesthetic crying my eyes out worried about not waking up. The odds are ridiculous in this happening and they take the utter most precious care of you.

Know that you have a support system in this forum where you can ask absolutely anything even if to you it seems silly.

We've all had different surgeries so I'm sure one of us can help with your answer.

Wishing you the best of luck xxx
 
Hi Moon and welcome to the forum. As everyone said, it's understandable to have these concerns, we were all scared of what we were about to do but knew continuing as we were was equally scary so we took the leap. I would say with going under, don't be too scared about it, the chances of not coming round are very slim. They do have a reversal for the anaesthetic which they can give you if the situation deteriorates. I know it's very difficult and wish you all the best in making your decision.
 
I'm 6 wks post op and I haven't eaten out yet but I'm eating lots of Normal foods (soft things that you don't need a knife for)
But today I went to town and had to go to a friends and I had my weetabix at 8 and I've had nothing since I should have taken something with me really but forget .... I'll just have to take my time eating my dinner tonight incase I ram it in xxx
 
Thanks again all your all so lovely and warm and welcoming starry thanks for your story you sound just like me. The last time I had an op and was put under I was sobbing and had a bit of a panic attack as I was so afraid of not waking up. You've done so well its fantastic you must be so happy, I have researched all of wls and initially thought of the band but I'm terrified of needles and I don't think I could cope with the slow results fills etc. Then I looked at bypass and then sleeve. There's so many pros and cons to each but maybe the sleeve might be better for me. Can I ask where you had yours done? I understand if you'd rather not say but I have looked at a few providers and some don't give a price.
Thanks naf I know what you mean and even tho I know that it's so slim a chance my anxiety won't let me understand that tho lol. I am hoping to get a consulate on soon but don't know who to go with as yet. Do you still feel hungry with the sleeve tracey as that's my biggest thing I never really feel full and I can't cope with the hunger pains xx thanks again lovelys xx
 
MoonChild said:
Thanks again all your all so lovely and warm and welcoming starry thanks for your story you sound just like me. The last time I had an op and was put under I was sobbing and had a bit of a panic attack as I was so afraid of not waking up. You've done so well its fantastic you must be so happy, I have researched all of wls and initially thought of the band but I'm terrified of needles and I don't think I could cope with the slow results fills etc. Then I looked at bypass and then sleeve. There's so many pros and cons to each but maybe the sleeve might be better for me. Can I ask where you had yours done? I understand if you'd rather not say but I have looked at a few providers and some don't give a price.
Thanks naf I know what you mean and even tho I know that it's so slim a chance my anxiety won't let me understand that tho lol. I am hoping to get a consulate on soon but don't know who to go with as yet. Do you still feel hungry with the sleeve tracey as that's my biggest thing I never really feel full and I can't cope with the hunger pains xx thanks again lovelys xx
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Completely know what you mean you have no control over anxiety I don't think it helped I was waiting for 7 hours to be put under so by that time I'd worked myself up so much. You know what? HAVE A GOOD CRY we are bloody entitled to it. It's a hard journey i won't make out its easy. We have to put every bit of ourselves forward. It's a a massive decision but you know what you're doing it for a reason. You have us all here for every single question you have. Any worry you have you won't go through alone.

I too was struggling between the bypass and the sleeve. You get brilliant results on both. Bypass makes you lose a lot quicker but you get the same results in the end. Same goal.

I was fortunate enough to have it done through the NHS But my operation was done at homerton hospital - amazing staff. I'm not sure if they do private though. My surgeon was Dr koak but I wasn't a fan of his. There's a surgeon called William at the hospital who was brilliant with my aftercare I'm not sure if he does private work also.

I'm really pleased for you that you're doing this to help improve your chances of having a baby for your own health at that time too. So if you have any doubts or you have days when you think "why have I done this to myself" keep that goal in mind xxx
 
I had Mr Agwaral think that's how you spell it lovely man while I was waiting outside theatre he was talking to me in his blue outfit I thought he was a staff member in theatre we were laughing cause he liked my Essex accent
I saw him the next morning in his suit and. he mentioned how I spoke and I realised it was him....
Lovely staff tho there at Homerton xx
As starry eyed said we are all here for any questions this forum has been a godsend to me when you think something ... Someone always has an answer xxx
 
No I don't feel hungry like I used to you know you want to eat but it's not hunger like you know it ...
The best thing is your body tells you when your full which I've never had before I could eat for England and never be full ...
 
Aw starry I know how you feel it's such a hard thing that I am thinking of doing but I have finally reached the end of the road now. I'm not getting any younger and feel in pain more and more every day and my heart aches for the baby I'm yet to have. I've been reading your story and it sounds like you've had a rough time I'm just glad your ok. If the bypass and sleeve are pretty much the same it may come down to price in the end but we will see. I feel my anxiety I'd getting worse and I so far have refused to go to the doctors about it as I don't want another tablet. Thaks for being so honest about your story, I'm not sure what group I'm going with but u need to pay monthly so that will factor in too. Tracey thanks for replying that was something I was curious about and it sounds lovely to not be hungry and just be satisfied with small amounts of food xx thanks again to you all I'm sure I still have lots of questons lol xx
 
MoonChild said:
Aw starry I know how you feel it's such a hard thing that I am thinking of doing but I have finally reached the end of the road now. I'm not getting any younger and feel in pain more and more every day and my heart aches for the baby I'm yet to have. I've been reading your story and it sounds like you've had a rough time I'm just glad your ok. If the bypass and sleeve are pretty much the same it may come down to price in the end but we will see. I feel my anxiety I'd getting worse and I so far have refused to go to the doctors about it as I don't want another tablet. Thaks for being so honest about your story, I'm not sure what group I'm going with but u need to pay monthly so that will factor in too. Tracey thanks for replying that was something I was curious about and it sounds lovely to not be hungry and just be satisfied with small amounts of food xx thanks again to you all I'm sure I still have lots of questons lol xx
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You're welcome it's nice to know people are reading it. It hasn't been easy in the slightest but I know I'm a fighter now and I'll overcome the worst part of it. Keep us updated xx
 
Hi. There are a few forums here with ladies who lost weight to help them get pregnant. Look around .. May be worth talking with those ladies as you have a lot in common.
 
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