Once again.. disappointment

[AriDiana]

Hello everyone .. i am writing this thru tears .. so bear with me .. just went to get my blood thinning shot for tomorrows surgery .. and guess what ! the surgeon came to speak to me .. apparently since my sleep test was over 2 years old .. and i had gained 5 lbs ... he has cancelled my surgery. Now i must admit .. i do not like this surgeon at all .. he is rude . his secretary is rude .. he is condescending .. and always has been .. but hey .. he is who i get .. so have jumped thru his hoops since august of 2008 .. since i have no choice . but today is just the end of this journey i think .. he talked to me like i was worthless once again .. for
gaining weight and told me i wasnt working at it .. ummm its been a year since i have seen a dietician or been in his healthy hearts class .. i didnt want to tell him i have gained and lost stones since then .. that is after all the problem and why i am here .. i made the mistake of admitting to a nurse that i hated the cpap machine and didnt use it .. which is why he has decided another sleep test .. then i have to see him in clinic again . then get on the surgery schedule and do the pre op again ... i think its all just to much .. two years of my life have been spent crying over this op .. maybe he is right and i am just a loser fat girl who cant do anything right .. because of this operation i missed being home with my family for xmas last year because i had an appointment scheduled ..i missed my daughters graduation from uni on sunday because i had this operation scheduled .. and now its postponed .. again .. this is the third time btw...and i am truly asking myself .. do i continue to let this operation run and ruin my life for what is probably another year .. i have never cried so much over anything and i am not sure its worth it .. i am with a dr. i do not like . and not even sure i trust . the only person i have ever talked to that had him as their surgeon he punctured their bowel ! which i know is rare and i am sure he is qualified .. but he is just so arrogant and rude ... and so is his staff lol . i did ask my hub if we could move house to get a different surgeon... its bad when the doctor who is doing your surgery looks down on you because you are heavy .. sorry for rambling tonight .. but i am once again devastated .. but i am also furious .. and do i let him beat me and treat me like that .. or do i fight back and just jump some more of his hoops .. i dont have the energy to think about it tonight .. the only good thing i can think of is no more milk .. yep .. liver shrinking diet is at least over :cry::cry::cry:

 

[Fashionably Late]

I am so sorry. You really should make a complaint to PALS as soon as possible. This is awful to have this done to you!

 

[StephieAck]

I would definately put in a complaint to someone, he should just not be treating you like this and making you feel this bad, surely there must be a way of them changing your surgeon.
Im so sorry this has happened xx
Steph xx

 

[angie790]

OMG, the man sounds like a total pig. HUGE HUG. Have a real good snivel tonight, then tomorrow....FIGHT back & kick some ass! Make an appt with your GP, your obesity consultant, contact your PCT PALS liason officer, the PCT commissioner, your MP, in fact bl***dy anyone that will listen....this surely cannot be the only 'GOD' in your area that is qualified and sympathetic enough to do your surgery. I assume you have had the funding agreed at some point...sounds like you've waited long enough...what is the point in the PCT agreeing if the goal posts keep changing and the actual operation is never actually acheivable? You are NOT a loser...we all need help or we clearly wouldn't be going down this road...I think it can be hard to stand up and start making a fuss when one spends the majority of one's life trying to blend in and be 'un-noticed'.....but my GP told me those that are pushy and keep harrassing everyone are those that get seen and treatest the quickest...
You deserve this and you also deserve a surgeon that you trust implicitly...not one that makes you feel like he's doing you some great favour!
I truly hope you get something done....and soon! xxxx

 

[galm37]

I can understand the surgeon being cautious over the apnia tests, but surley this should have been revisited months ago and not raised the day before your surgery? I don't think a 5lb weight gain is much at all, although there are some surgeons who refuse to operate on people unless they have lost a percentage of their excess weight.

Regardless of your size and his God complex, he should not be allowed to belittle you in any way and I would seriously consider complaining about the way you feel he has treated you.

Are there any other bariatric surgeons at the hospital?

If you have no other choice but to stick with this surgeon, perhaps an official complaint made against him may make him reflect on the way he & his staff approach patients.

I really feel for you and understand how devistating this must be for you, but if wls is what you need to get you healthy then you are going to have to meet the surgeons requirements for this to move forward.

I would complain & then I'd make sure I did everthing by the book so there would be no chance of this happening again.

By the way, you are not a looser in any way shape or form, and don't let anyone make you feel that way. If we were any good at dieting we wouldn't need wls in the 1st place. Don't let his attitude spoil your chances of having a healthy life.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

The whole idea from his point of veiw is how committed is this person.If you have not told him about the weight you lost and regained he just thinks you stayed the same and put more on.Yes it was a mistake to mention the cpap,but I have just had a second sleep study a nd I too have been at this since July 08,only just approved for funding.Not expecting an op anytime soon either.It can become the be all and end all and you can make yourself ill and depressed.Try to take a breath,do as he asked about the sleep study and get your life back.I must admit once I forgot about it things looked much better.Dont put up with rudeness from anyone but do think are you being super sensitive cos its so important to you?Best love and continued patience.Maz x

 

[Katastrophe]

There's not much i can add - Sorry this has happened to you but definately complain... People like him need to learn there are consequences to his actions, especially when he's in a position of trust x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

are we talking about who i think you are here ? HHhhmm if soo and this is who im thinking you mean, then ask gp to get you refered over to where i am as hes treating you unfairly x


soz terri, i wont do it again i appoligise x

 

[gaelic girl]

Don't think i can add much either to the replies already given, i went privately so can't advise on timescales, procedures and the hoops you guys have to jump through! What i would say is do what's right for you and you alone, this is your journey and only you can decide if it is all worth it or wether you would be okay carrying on as you are. Regardless of all of that you have the right to be treated with respect and especially from a bariatric surgeon and his team. Good luck and big hugs xx

 

[dottychic]

Im so sorry this is happening to you ((HUGS)) you are not a loser and for anyone to make you feel like you do is so wrong. I had a complaint and I talked to a lovely lady from PALS who sorted it out for me and she also got the Trust to put things right. Please fight back, you deserve better X

 

[liannos]

Hello thats why you need this op what a * cant you see any one else ?? big hugs xxx

 

[Neen]

I'm so sorry Di, I concur with the others, that's unacceptable and I would ask your GP to try and refer you to a different surgeon xxxx Hugs xxxx

 

[zns]

You really should complain to PALS thats no way to talk to someone xx

 

[tiarasandtantrums]

Totally unacceptable. I really think you need to take this further. Big hugs xx

 

[phatmomma]

What a tosspot!

Complain to PALS, complain to the Chief Executive and see if you can be sent elsewhere.

Nobody has the right to treat you in this way, you are entitled to be treated with dignity, this was obviously not the case!

This man needs to learn he can't talk to people and treat people like this at all xxx

 

[J-Mo]

He might have a GOD complex but GOD he is not!! More like a SOB!!! Complain like everyone else has advised. Once u've had a cry, sleep & scream u shld pick urself the continue with ur journey. Its not over til the fat lass sings ;-)

 

[thinkbethin]

Huge hugs sweetheart and a box of tissues. Don't stop now!!! You want and need this op so don't let some arrogant sod put you off. you deserve better treatment all round from himself and his staff so get a complaint put in. chin up and tomorrow is a new day with extra strength to fight for what you want. xxxx

 

[AriDiana]

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies and encouragement xx I am still completely down in the dumps over this ... and so glad that all of you can understand .. that is why this forum has been so good for me to read and get feedback. Its nice to be able to have a sounding board from someone who has 'been there'. My mind is still all muddled this morning.. however ... some fighting spirit is starting to shine thru here .. I really feel like its me against this doctor .. and I have been beaten for years by my size .. and I dont want him to win and me to just 'give up' .. its a bit different in this pct .. they give him so much money for bariatric and he gets to decide who has the surgery .. so its play along with him or forget it .. my husband .. who has been with me thru this whole journey .. is not fond of the doc either .. lol .. calls him a conceited arse actually .. and he has been telling me all night and all morning .. this will not beat us .. you arent doing this for fun .. this is about extending your life .. so we will fight on together! Thanks again everyone for being so lovely and making me feel like i am not alone in this xxxx

 

[fatbutnot4long]

i never had a sleep apnea test so i dont really know about that to be honest, i know i slept alot before and that i woke up tierd which are signs but they were always put down to depression! but i can say this.. im 6 months out and 116 down... dont lose heart.. fight with everything uve got! ur entitled to this op and youve already missed thoes big occasions in your life you cant get them back but you can have another shot at this one! dont let him beat you and risk being fat forever for 5lb! the new you is waiting... go find yourself girl! xx