Sam's Musings

[SAM55]

Saw GP tonight. Some blood test results back tonight and those ones are ok, and was told I probably have the best Vit D levels in my town!. Having had a home BP monitor since Tuesday I am now back on 2 Lisinopril for now. We were both surprised that my BP was not lower given my improved diet and exercise so needs to be reviewed in new year as he isn't happy with me on the quinine long term for the night cramps, although have been on it for about 3 years and it is probably one of the only meds I take that doesn't give me any side effects, and I can take it or leave it, depending whether it is two or one Lisinopril. Still waiting for copper, and they forgot to do zinc, so will have to get that done too. Also need to go to local hospital to have Vit C done as it is light sensitive and needs to be tested straight away. Think that can wait until after Christmas now as phlebotomy is not open every day. Having B12 injection on Monday.

Think I had my first slight experience of the foamies last night, as I tried cheese in my scrambled egg to make it softer, and it didn't want to go down, only up! That is my third egg in a different way attempt that hasn't been successful so am now going to give them up!! Will finish them up on the cats. They too are enjoying and thriving on the extra protein this week of items that i have tried and have caused problems. The grated cheese that I tried for the first time last week has been ok.

 

[Penelope]

I have tried the M&S ones twice - pack of 4 for £5 but found they still slipped, even if supposedly the right size, so going to stick with Evans ribbed for now as they are so comfortable.

I guess we all find our own best fit - I am just overjoyed because after 15 years plus of only being able to wear sloggi's I can now buy cheap knickers!

 

[SAM55]

Well I managed a small loss this week but have really got an attack of the munchies today. I was in Tesco and finally gave into my craving for weeks the Lindt chocolates that I only associate with Christmas. I can ignore them the rest of the year! The good and the bad was that they didn't have any of the red boxes left so I bought a mixed. I ate the red ones, and a couple of the others whilst I was out, and then came home and through the rest away as it was only the red ones that did it for me and I wasn't going to eat them unnecessarily. Reduced from £5 to £3.50 so not a too expensive mistake, but am in picking mode now so have grazed on peanut butter, flatbreads and some grated cheese. Time for a nap I think as energy levels very low, plus i feel rather full.

Tomorrow is another day, but hopefully I will stop craving those bloody red things now, and can eat properly tomorrow. Need to get on and try those bacon medallions that are sitting in my fridge before they go off!

 

[FeeBee]

Well done on your loss. I hope today feels like an easier day x

 

[SAM55]

Had a lovely afternoon with my group at our Christmas do. Just the four of us in a lovely garden centre cafe in the countryside with a log fire and a table by the window. A few other customers in.

There was nothing obvious to start with on the menu that I had browsed online, as initially I was going to have the smoked salmon and scrambled egg on toast, but given my recent experience with eggs ...

There was however a grilled halloumi and hummus (sic) sandwich. I asked for it without the bread (no I didn't want gluten free) so the waitress assumed I did want salad. Expecting a bit of side salad of which I would only manage the tomato and cue, I had a massive plateful that would have fed 10 rabbits! There were 6 pieces of halloumi which were lovely and hot (unlike last weeks) and the hummus was home made, probably a couple of dessertspoons. As everyone else had platefuls of soup, bread and chips there was plenty of time to eat what I could, which was all the haloummi, the hummus, and a couple of slices of tomato. Mindful that I hadn't had any carbs, and it was 2.30 pm and a long time since my breakfast of porridge, I had to have a couple of chips from someone else's plate Nearly an hour later I managed half a mug of latte.

Rest of salad put into a doggie bag for my vegetarian friend's lunch tomorrow. Feeling somewhat uncomfortable but ok. May or may not manage anything else before bed...

Eating out is getting easier, but must remember to make clear I only want a small portion for my next two meals out on Thursday and Saturday with friends - definitely decided to give Wednesday's set menu a rest. At this rate I won't be needing any food on Christmas Day!

 

[SAM55]

Well I managed a small loss this week but have really got an attack of the munchies today. I was in Tesco and finally gave into my craving for weeks the Lindt chocolates that I only associate with Christmas. I can ignore them the rest of the year! The good and the bad was that they didn't have any of the red boxes left so I bought a mixed. I ate the red ones, and a couple of the others whilst I was out, and then came home and through the rest away as it was only the red ones that did it for me and I wasn't going to eat them unnecessarily. Reduced from £5 to £3.50 so not a too expensive mistake, but am in picking mode now so have grazed on peanut butter, flatbreads and some grated cheese. Time for a nap I think as energy levels very low, plus i feel rather full.

Tomorrow is another day, but hopefully I will stop craving those bloody red things now, and can eat properly tomorrow. Need to get on and try those bacon medallions that are sitting in my fridge before they go off!

Oh yes, and had two bacon medallions yesterday for lunch. Really enjoyed them and much, much better than turkey rashers

 

[FeeBee]

That sounds great, I am so glad you're able to tolerate more food too x

 

[SAM55]

That sounds great, I am so glad you're able to tolerate more food too x

Thanks Fee. Probably tolerating too much! x Roll on January and I can go back to eating food on my own

 

[starryeyed]

Yay I'm glad you liked the bacon medallions

 

[SAM55]

Yay! My recently ordered 18/20 knickers fit!!!

 

[SAM55]

Ok, have found a new stressbuster!

Had a very stressful morning and needed to get away before my temper got any worse. I so wanted to eat but decided I needed to go out. Thought I would take a drive out to look at what size Matalan go up to given my success with the knickers. Not big enough, which was a blessing as I didn't need to spend any more money. Also did Aldi as it was next door to top up on peanut butter and salmon pieces. Looked at lots of food that I thought might appeal for Christmas Day, but didn't fancy any of it. I did however find some interesting hummus in different flavours such as beetroot and horseradish. The only naughty temptation I had to deal with was a pack of three Irish liqueurs that included a salted caramel one. Alcohol would have gone down so well this evening

Felt better when I got indoors so the tactic for future stress is to go to shops where I cannot buy clothes that fit me, and buy jars of peanut butter

Finished off the peanut butter and banana smoothie in the fridge which was getting somewhat browner than it should be after 3 days. Certainly can feel my restriction again for the fourth day in a row so will be interesting to see what Saturday's weigh in will be.

 

[SAM55]

Walked over two and half miles today. Knees are killing me and this is where I wish I could have a hot bath, but will need to make do with a shower. Fortunately the rain stopped, which was an unexpected bonus.

Have also bought myself some vests to try and keep warmer. So... bed socks, vests, electric blanket and the heating is now on 2 degrees higher higher that in previous years... Feeling somewhat old

 

[SAM55]

Feeling really crap today and comfort eating got the better of me. Those chocolates I talked about in another post that I wrapped for someone else 'appeared' this afternoon when all other presents had been given out. Person I decided to give them to has gone away so won't get to see her. Hid them in cupboard yesterday but was really upset this afternoon so out they came and I ate the whole box. Have had lots of other stuff too.

Hoping Saturday my weigh in will show me that it has had a negative effect, then maybe I will be able to get a grip on myself! I really hate Christmas and everything that goes with it.

Should also know tomorrow (hopefully) what is happening about the therapy if they have been able to get hold of my GP this week. It should have happened last Friday... Not holding my breath though

 

[starryeyed]

Ooo did you have any dumping from the chocolate? X

 

[Nearly there-1]

Sam55. Sorry to hear your struggling. Christmas is a challenge for lots of people including myself.
Because I can't eat much and certainly no Christmas goodies I know I will come in for the inevitable pressure( try harder, your to skinny!)
Try to find something you really enjoy to do and pamper yourself, be kind to yourself you have achieved an awful lot this year and next year will see the benefits.
Did the chocolate make you feel bad, I have a sleeve but to much sugar makes me feel awful. A blessing in disguise I think!!!

 

[FeeBee]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now @SAM55
You made mistake and I hope rather than punishing yourself you will feel able to draw a line under it and move on. I honestly think beating ourselves up about choices just makes us feel worse and then if we self medicate with food and feel even worse again the cycle just continues. Fingers crossed you got some good news about accessing therapy and you will click with your therapist and feel able to work with them x

 

[SAM55]

Ooo did you have any dumping from the chocolate? X

None at all which means there is nothing awful that would stop me doing it again! Just felt very full with some discomfort like i have with constipation. Feel fine today and have managed normal rations.

 

[SAM55]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now @SAM55
You made mistake and I hope rather than punishing yourself you will feel able to draw a line under it and move on. I honestly think beating ourselves up about choices just makes us feel worse and then if we self medicate with food and feel even worse again the cycle just continues. Fingers crossed you got some good news about accessing therapy and you will click with your therapist and feel able to work with them x

Felt totally different today and have consumed normal rations but haven't fancied anything in particular. Shit happens and I don't keep beating myself up although if it had persisted...? Did need to phone the Sams though last night.

Was woken with a message and photos from my daughter in NZ which was nice, and I now know what time on my Christmas Day she is Skyping, 9am, which is her 10pm. Kids will be in bed probably after what is going to be a manic, probably early start day for them with lots of family and a barbie on the beach. They are too young to want to do more than say hello on Skype (if I am lucky) and just mess around, so hopefully N and I can have an uninterrupted chat.

Have spent today doing housework (my cleaner was sick yesterday which didn't help as I was buried under cat hair and muddy paws whilst I was trying to finish some work with a deadline). Have re-organised my lounge which is also my office so work is less intrusive. It has taken me all day, and would have taken her a couple of hours, but once upon a time I wouldn't have been able to do any of it! The physicality of it was good although a few aches and pains this evening. Wouldn't have wanted to go out for a walk as we had Storm Barbara

Got phone call at 4.30 today from head of therapies. She finally got to speak to my GP yesterday, and I am being moved to the top of the list for an integrative psychologist - the right list this time!!! She will get back to me in New Year when she has found out roughly how long I will have to wait until she finishes with a client, so may not be straight away but it is better than finding out you were 191 of 260 in November, (and only because I put in a complaint did I find I was on the wrong list), when you were told to expect January!! Heads may roll over that!!!!

 

[SAM55]

Sam55. Sorry to hear your struggling. Christmas is a challenge for lots of people including myself.
Because I can't eat much and certainly no Christmas goodies I know I will come in for the inevitable pressure( try harder, your to skinny!)
Try to find something you really enjoy to do and pamper yourself, be kind to yourself you have achieved an awful lot this year and next year will see the benefits.
Did the chocolate make you feel bad, I have a sleeve but to much sugar makes me feel awful. A blessing in disguise I think!!!

Thanks. Sorry Christmas is a challenge for you too. I could cope if it was one or two days but it has been going on for weeks!! Will hopefully be ok once it is here and will spend the day watching TV, packing for going away the next day, Skyping my daughter in NZ, a walk if the weather isn't too awful and resting ready for a long journey. I have some special hummus and some caviar as my treats on the day, and am allowing myself a mini Baileys on Christmas eve. I have also found some virtually sugar free plain chocolate in Tesco for if I am desperate. Not a lover of much plain chocolate, so won't want the whole bar anyway.

Weight loss and vit and mineral levels have been good since op so a slight blip in my eating as long as i am managing what I put in my mouth, rather than it going in uncontrollably is ok in my book.

I felt a bit uncomfortable after the chocolate plus some thins and peanut butter so took some Lactulose, which did the trick.

 

[SAM55]

Well, surprisingly I have lost a 1lb!