So much *****ing ?!

[OOnion]

Please someone correct be if I am wrong, but I thought that we all come on this site/forum to gain precious information regarding our battles with obesity initially...and for a bit of normality amongst others in our same boat!

We gain this knowledge, comfort and information by sharing... personal stories, links to new techniques or research, the odd jokes etc, and I thought this was mainly to try and help and support one and other? Most people like to share their experiences and journey's in the hope that it may make someone else's journey just a little tiny bit easier... Is that not why we all look on this forum?

I've noticed a lot over the last few weeks that some authors of a thread may not, like or agree with what has been written on their thread (I say get over it!) - we are honoured and blessed in the Uk to have the freedom to be able to speak so freely on a public domain, and perhaps embracing that very fact, rather than fighting it, *****ing about it or feeling personally criticised and hurt, just ignore it!

Let's stop all this *****ing...if you don't like - it don't read it - let's at least be able to respect each others comments even if you don't agree with them. We would not want to all be the same would be, have you not seen We will rock you - we are not Ga Ga's ?! I for one much rather read a thread with lots of differing views and comments - it makes it interesting ... and of course with the odd comment from Caren with smilies all over the place!

In with love out with anger - !! ha ha ah ha
Peace and love to all - can't think of any more clichés to finish with!

 

[OOnion]

***** = female dog !

 

[Yvessa]

While I agree with you to some extent, I also believe that internet granted anonymity may sometimes make us say things we normally wouldn't to someone. And I think that's not a good thing. Or we forget that what we mean as sage advice can come across as something else entirely as it is just the written word.

At the end of the day, if someone is hurt by something said, they will react. That's just human nature. And so is the witching

 

[Caren]

oh i totally agree, chillout!! we are here to help each other xxx

 

[OOnion]

I do agree with you Yve - I have indeed myself written many an inappropriate line or been misunderstood on the dating website and then had to deal with the consequences !! It's almost like when your drunk- keyboard confidence eh?! I just like to feel the love for each other as most of us have had to put up with enough hate from the outside world already when we are fat!

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Unfortunately just because we all have similar physical problems, we can't assume we have anything in common personality wise & will all get along :sigh: As in every day life some people are just not our cup of tea & whilst face to face they may not be quite so straight talking & super abrasive, (though I suspect some are) on a forum it is too easy to just speak your mind & not give a t*ss who's feelings you hurt ... this can never be excused. I don't comment on here much any more due to this kind of situation but having read the post that set this one in action, all I can say is you reap what you sow & if you don't like a post, ignore it We have all invested a lot of time on this forum in the effort to make other peoples journeys slightly easier & should not feel afraid to offer an opinion for fear of having our comments slated. Be careful not to be too caustic with comments as some people (me included) will be offended & that is not what this forum is about. :sigh: x

 

[Fuffs]

Everyone seems to have different reasons for using the forum. For me it's friendship, support, laughs and info.

Others are here to say there piece and don't want advice or comment on whatever their piece is.

Some are just out and out confrontational.

Some are just plain crazy or raving attention seekers (usually the ones who accuse everyone else of it lol)

We just have to get on with it. Some incidents nearly put me off posting on here any longer. But then I reminded myself of why I use this forum. And I am still here.

Just have to log off here sometimes, breathe, come back on and avoid the source of contention

 

[newcy]

I couldn't agree more!

I don't comment on here anywhere near as much as I used to and there are some people's thread that I simply don't read at all. In everyday life I tend to avoid people who for want of a better word 'irritate' me so I find it best to do the same here. Rather than say something I might regret I just move on and read a different post.

Xxx

 

[Fuffs]

I couldn't agree more!

I don't comment on here anywhere near as much as I used to and there are some people's thread that I simply don't read at all. In everyday life I tend to avoid people who for want of a better word 'irritate' me so I find it best to do the same here. Rather than say something I might regret I just move on and read a different post.

Xxx

Good plan. That's what my strategy has become

 

[shelbell]

I've been a member here for years, and it's a cycle of ups and downs. We've been through some really bad times with now banned members but eventually the mods can gather enough reason to ban the trolls and trouble makers.

In the meantime, there is a facility to put any member you find offensive or rude on your ignore list (in your user cp) so you don't see any of their posts. It's bliss

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[suzie290304]

Since their is a thread up on it I will answer, I think sometimes it's the way the response is wrote as most of the time it does sound like people are getting told off like children, as I say this is my view. We can give advice and that's it, It may have not been peoples intention to sound like this but does come across like this. I wouldn't have people tell me what I can eat or what I could write on a thread. Then if it's advice maybe people could think about the way the word things x

 

[genevive57]

hi,
some of you may, or may not remember me as a fairly new member to this site and, you may, or may not have noticed that i have stopped posting due to the 'inappropriate' and 'unneccessary' comments made by some parties.
i still find this site very addictive as in the main it is informative and supportive. i continue to read all the threads but just choose not to comment. if i feel i need a question answered [and with my op coming up next week i have loads of em] i just backtrack onto previous threads and just hope i find the information i am looking for.
overall, i am quite disillusioned and disappointed as when i first found this site a few months ago i was over the moon as i thought i had found kindred spirits who would be non-judgemental and respectful. but hey ho - life never ceases to disappoint!
genevive

 

[lyndajoan]

Some are just plain crazy or raving attention seekers (usually the ones who accuse everyone else of it lol)


fuffs you are so right you took the words right out of my mouth,
if some people don't get the attention they think they deserve they blame the few who are trying
one comment not so long ago got me
it went something like this although i have had a sleeve there are a few people who have had bypasses and are just taking over this forum with there bypass information and they are controlling and bullying yous all know who you are.

well i have just done the ignore button on a couple of people as i have enough stress in my life without there added hangups, i come to this site also for fun friend ship advice and i totally respect peoples journeys,
this forum is golden mines of informative solutions to this gastric operation that is hard enough alone.

 

[Nuxley]

Well as you probably know I am fairly new to this site and don't post as often as some, however, I have noticed some rather blunt or patronising comments and they tend to be made by the same users. I have also noticed a lot of rivalry between sleevers and bypassers and this is totally unnecessary. It doesn't matter what surgery you are considering or having, we are all in this together aren't we?

I think we can only get out of this site what we put into it, and for me that is FRIENDLY help, advice and support. Already I have made some contacts which have proved invaluable and so am very grateful to this forum. I would hate to see the ethos change just because of a few who want to spoil it for the many.

 

[lyndajoan]

hi,
some of you may, or may not remember me as a fairly new member to this site and, you may, or may not have noticed that i have stopped posting due to the 'inappropriate' and 'unneccessary' comments made by some parties.
i still find this site very addictive as in the main it is informative and supportive. i continue to read all the threads but just choose not to comment. if i feel i need a question answered [and with my op coming up next week i have loads of em] i just backtrack onto previous threads and just hope i find the information i am looking for.
overall, i am quite disillusioned and disappointed as when i first found this site a few months ago i was over the moon as i thought i had found kindred spirits who would be non-judgemental and respectful. but hey ho - life never ceases to disappoint!
genevive

hi i wondered how you were, this forum hasn't changed that much its still informative hope you stay around a while, nice to see your ok take care. xx

 

[Caren]

This is an amazing place! Don't let the odd comment put you off. I've never noticed any rivalry between bypassers and sleevers, ever. Just continue to support each other and enjoy this site xxx

 

[Louise1]

I think is says a lot that those who have posted on this thread are those who I feel have given me sound advice and friendship in the past.
I wonder if those who have been, "referred" to know who they are and have chosen not to post.
I feel the same as you all. I thought this site was fab and got tonnes of amazing advice when I really needed it, recently I feel as though the sly comments and the not so sneaky digs aren't worth coming on here for or posting and I've sought alternative sources of information.
But then I feel that the actions of a few shouldn't stop us from giving back to those not as far in their journeys the same way we were given help..
xx

 

[emma-louise]

I would just like to add this.,,,I have been a member of this site for almost 2 years.
And I think I can say on behalf on all members that we all find this site so valuable!
It's given me knowledge and support for my gastric bypass.
I think it's unfair that some people feel bypassers are taking over the forums.
Surely it's just the case that maybe there is more people having bypass operations,therefore more questions/advice needed on forum?
I'd be lost at times without this site,as at times this is the only place I can turn too for help and advice.
As people know it helps to talk to people who are in the same situation as yourself.
And even if we have had a sleeve/bypass/band/balloon etc...we all still have something in common.....trying to loose weight and get a better life for ourselves xxx

 

[Louise1]

This site helped me decide which operation was right for me and informed me on the pros and cons of each procedure.
We're all different and have different journeys and that's what makes this site so useful!!
xx

 

[angeeb]

When all is said and done this forum is no different to the millions of others out there lol

I've been a member of so many forums over the years.....on varying subjects.....not one has ever been totally laid back and relaxed all the time.....people get offended, it's part of being human! It's happened before and it'll happen again......I've learnt to stay out of it and never comment.

I made a comment here a few weeks back and almost "took offence" at a couple of replies, if I had responded they way I wanted to "at the time" it would only of fuelled a fire that was best left to go out immediately.

You can jump to your defence on the Internet (be it rightly or wrongly) but it rarely works......cause unfortunately, people are people
Roll on the summer I say! I hate all this rain, doom and gloom :flirt2: