Teenager Concerns

[Peterborough Guy]

Well, I'm in a chatty mood tonight lol

On a serious note, I have a step daughter who is 13 years old, and a little bit over weight, now at a early age, we have stated that they don't get made to eat there dinner up, but if they do they can have a pudding, so now, every meal time, she eats her dinner and has a pudding.

Either some chocolate or a cake of some sort, she does have a sweet tooth, but if we left it to her she would eat chocolate all the while. Sounds a familiar story coming here lol

So I was shocked when we went shopping to get her a dress to wear at a party and my wife was looking at adults size 12/14, couldn't be for my wife as she's a larger lady herself, so when I questioned why we were looking at them sizes, she said it was for the daughter.

Is it me, or can this be right that a 13 year old needs a adults size 12/14 clothes.

She's not extremely big, just a but of a tummy on her.

I am just in shock lol

 

[pandora]

I have a 15 & 13 yr old , they have both been wearing adult sizes for a few years now . Both my girls are tall & have developed figures before their friends . Child's clothes of their age are both too small & too child like , not that they wear clothes too old for them , but neither are candy pink girls .
Hope that helps.

 

[snooky]

Is she tall and turning into a young woman i.e developing curves? I have boys and haven't personally been near a size 12 or 14 for years but it does sound a bit wrong in my opinion but she might be in proportion so don't want to really judge.
On the other point of having pudding if they eat all their meal this was always the case when I was growing up. And, this totally my opinion and not judging in any way, I blame this in part for my weight problems. We could have pudding as a treat for "being good" and cleaning our plate, a habit I am still struggling to break.

 

[pandora]

Could the pudding be a piece of fruit or yogurt ?

 

[dolly48dd]

my 13 year old is size 12 if you buy child size they not got the room in the right place ie bust. as for puddings she always had a cake or something with custard and must admit i stopped now i offer fruit, yoghurts and sunday is custard day. my night mare is my kids end up like me.xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Afters should be fruit or yoghurt and just have a nice pud on Sunday.You can make a fab low fat/sugar trifle!

 

[JO28172]

My 13yr old was starting needing a size 14 which isn't right but I left it without saying anything.she came to me asking lots of questions cos of my band and ultimately she said she would like to try n lose some weight.early days as only been doing it just over a week but all we have done is made the house a healthy food zone...so any snacks are special k bites and rice cakes etc but no biscuits or cakes and only brown bread. I'd never encourage her to clear her plate, for me the less in the better yet still allow a yogurt or piece of fruit for afters.

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[mariew]

When my daughter was 13 she was a size 12 and she looked chubby. There is no way she would have wanted anything from the childrens section at that age! My daughter cut all the crap out at this age and slimmed down and maintained, she is now 21.
I'd stop the puddings if it were me. You are using food as a bribe and a reward in my opinion. Is that how you were rewarded when you were growing up? it's how I was and I think it contributed to my weight gain.

 

[Mazza]

Most childrens clothes only go upto age 12-13, so if your step daughter is maybe a little taller or heavier than miss average she wont fit into childrens clothes.

My daughter is 9 and is fairly tall but slim. She has been wearing a size 6 or 8 for almost a year now.

I wouldnt worry about her being in the adult sizes BUT regarding the puddings I agree - switching to fruit or yoghurt would be much better.

Its really important at that age not to make too much of an issue over any weight concerns you may have, the last thing you want is for her to develop eating problems.

My advice, tread carefuly. Re consider rewarding eating a meal with more food and encourage her with some positivity!

 

[Leesh]

Hi there,

Speaking as a childrens nurse and mother of three with 2 13 year old daughters I think you need to tread very carefully with this. Size 14 does sound a little big but like everyone else has said this would depend on your daughters build. My girls are an adult size 6-8 depending on the shop, they are slim but not skinny and slightly taller than average.

Like others have said its important not to make a bug deal of weight at this age. We just dont keep any crap in ouir house at all. If they want a treat after tea they ask to go to the shop. Otherwise its a yoghurt or fruit. They are usually too lazy to go to the shop! we have a proper pudding on a Sunday and thats it really. This is not something I have ever discussed with the girls as I didnt want to make an issue out of it. If they leave some of there meal then that is fine too. No reward for finishing food. Just chuck it away. They are also really encouraged to do as much excersize as possible. Dog walking, horse riding, anything they have interest in I encourage.

Im not saying I have all the answers but just thought i would chip in because its a real interest of mine. I was openly put on diets from a very young age and I think it really affected me.

Lecia x

Im terrified of them having my issues so I play ot all down as much as I can. Hard to do though.