Undeserving WLS story in the Mail...

[Yvessa]

He doesn't get paid. He is 'just a dad'. He faces a lot of nastiness from both his family and mine for not working. And while yes, he is studying and being one hell of a dad, I suspect he would not get a job. And that is just a sad fact.

 

[Fuffs]

So if he is the main carer for your daughter and gets paid to do this - is that not a job?

It sounds as though you are tender and have clearly been hurt by peoples comments in the past - but you have to remember none of us know your partner so how on earth can we be judging him?! It's great we all have our own opinions and feel able to express them on the thread.

I know Yve well. And she is very strong in who she is and who her amazing partner is. He has been on a personal journey. Never giving up. And will get there in the end.

I don't think Yve felt her partner was being attacked. I feel she was giving the alternate view for some of the more vulnerable fighters in this world.

It is nice we can all have opinions. And as long as those opinions remain non hostile and adult, no one will feel attacked and no one will feel a need to attack

 

[Jamast]

Correct me if I am wrong, but the way I understand it, this thread appears to have been started by quoting the article as an EXAMPLE of what the majority of the general public THINK those of us who have/go for WLS are like. It seems to have turned into a thread where we pass judgement on other people.

To be honest I tend to ignore most of the media (especially Newspapers such as the Daily Mail/Sun etc) and the majority of magazines as no matter what information they get from their interview subjects, they will write the article to suit their particular viewpoint/audience and in a way that is likely to make them more money. They are there to make money, not to print the truth.

 

[Fuffs]

Correct me if I am wrong, but the way I understand it, this thread appears to have been started by quoting the article as an EXAMPLE of what the majority of the general public THINK those of us who have/go for WLS are like. It seems to have turned into a thread where we pass judgement on other people.

To be honest I tend to ignore most of the media (especially Newspapers such as the Daily Mail/Sun etc) and the majority of magazines as no matter what information they get from their interview subjects, they will write the article to suit their particular viewpoint/audience and in a way that is likely to make them more money. They are there to make money, not to print the truth.

Alas I have to agree. Maybe it's safer to get back to the topic. The topic it has become is too emotive it seems.

Discussion is beautiful if it doesn't become a war xxx

 

[OOnion]

I don't think its as simple as that. I think there are people who are not officially "the worst off" who still can't work. I won't take your comments personally Karlos, although it seems you've taken mine that way.

I do find it worrying that despite the field you say you work in, you describe some of the people you work with as just not wanting a job. Surely, you of all people should be open minded?

I don't deny there are scroungers. I don't deny there are lazy people. But I suggest you think carefully about what is meant by employability. I'm sure my partner could do some voluntary work once a week but instead he is the main carer for our daughter, plus he is trying to get a degree. So anyone who wants to work will try to, but that's not the same as being able to. He still may not get a job at the end of his degree.

He doesn't get paid. He is 'just a dad'. He faces a lot of nastiness from both his family and mine for not working. And while yes, he is studying and being one hell of a dad, I suspect he would not get a job. And that is just a sad fact.

I do apologise - I thought as you said he was the carer (rather than Parent) I assumed you meant he was a carer as she had problems - and hence got paid to do so - i'm not used to the term 'carer' being used for a 'parent'.

 

[Yvessa]

Its more of a government term to describe the person who has responsibility for day to day looking after of the child. I work, he is effectively a househusband who studies.

 

[Fuffs]

Its more of a government term to describe the person who has responsibility for day to day looking after of the child. I work, he is effectively a househusband who studies.

I have seen it used it much government literature also to describe the parent who spends most time caring for the child.

Even on some forms now also. How things change xxx

 

[Jamast]

Its more of a government term to describe the person who has responsibility for day to day looking after of the child. I work, he is effectively a househusband who studies.

Take it from someone who has had a fantastic career and is now a carer/parent and studying - he probably works a damn site harder than someone in a job. I could be out at work somedays from 7 in a morning until 10.30 at night and I was never, ever as knackered as I am now as a full time carer/Home-Educator/Parent/student x

 

[Yvessa]

Oh I agree. And he does a fantastic job - certainly better than I could do. On top of that he has to fight overwhelming fatigue, nausea, chronic pain, phobia and his diabetes on top of all that. I will stand behind him/up for him every day to anyone.

 

[Fuffs]

Oh I agree. And he does a fantastic job - certainly better than I could do. On top of that he has to fight overwhelming fatigue, nausea, chronic pain, phobia and his diabetes on top of all that. I will stand behind him/up for him every day to anyone.

Just how it should be

 

[vanessawhinn]

Her mind is broken and needs fixing she needs help to get off the fixation with food she's aditcted there is absaloutey no need wat so ever in calling her a fat lazy cow she has an addiction simple as that!

 

[Popadopalous]

There's a man I know who is severely obese. I don't know his weight exactly but he has been this way all his life and he is 55 now.

He has never worked a day in his adult life and relies on benefits, DLA etc. He has recently moved in to a home specially adapted for disabled people, with wide doors, walk in shower ramp etc. He can barely walk because his legs buckle under his own weight. Has nurses that come by each day to wash him and stuff.

Just like the article, he spends all of his money on takeaways each night and online shopping. He has done nothing at all to try and loose weight, his doctor has even at one time suggested he have weight loss surgery but he refused because he didn't want to loose the ability to eat whatever he wants (his words).

What sickens me is the fact that the government is continuing to pay this man a ridiculous amount of tax payers money so he can continue on with his ways. He obviously has a huge addiction to food but I can't understand why they don't cut his money so he's physically prevented from buying so much food. Instead, they just gradually give him more and more money as his condition worsens.

 

[Fuffs]

It's all too complex to even comprehend. The government really do need to address these issues. Especially when people are offered help and turn it down.

So sad and difficult

 

[vanessawhinn]

They shud force surgery then or stop the money they give the government are feeding them

 

[Yvessa]

How do they even get so much money on the DSS? I was on it for a year after DD was born and we barely had £100 in a month after bills! How the hell do these people afford £200 a week in takeaways?

 

[Fuffs]

How do they even get so much money on the DSS? I was on it for a year after DD was born and we barely had £100 in a month after bills! How the hell do these people afford £200 a week in takeaways?

They get disability living allowance. And then that makes the eligible for other things. Up to £330 a week a man said in a speech at community lunch where I volunteer x

 

[vanessawhinn]

Dla Hun that's wat x

 

[Yvessa]

They get disability living allowance. And then that makes the eligible for other things. Up to £330 a week a man said in a speech at community lunch where I volunteer x

Boggles the mind. My partner got 150 pounds of DLA in a year.

 

[Fuffs]

Boggles the mind. My partner got 150 pounds of DLA in a year.

Certainly does!! Eating £200 in takeaways, which equals weight gain should not be classed as a disability. These people need rehab. Like drug addicts and alcoholics

 

[Jamast]

They get disability living allowance. And then that makes the eligible for other things. Up to £330 a week a man said in a speech at community lunch where I volunteer x

I'd love to know where this man got his mis-information from as when I first had my accident, I was on the highest possible rate of DLA for both mobility and care and I got £500 a MONTH (for the 6 months that I needed it). it does not open doors to anything else apart from a disabled parking badge!!

That's the main problem with judging other people - so much misinformation and prejudice even from those of us who profess to being non-judgemental.