Well.. I guess it was bound to happen at some point.. may contain swearing

[natashoorrr]

Argh your all so supportive!!! Can I just swap you all with my family for a bit?! Lol. By seriously guys thank you so much - I think without you guys and reading your comments and how it made you feel I honestly think I would have caved by now!

I've lost about 11lbs and I can sort of notice in my face! I just want to notice around my gut more! I am a pear shape alright! But when I sit down I'm more square shaped. They never mention that in fashion magazines do they!!

 

[Peterborough Guy]

I know how you feel, but as a post opper of over two years, if your anything like me now, when I see people eating lots of crap or a big meal, I get the urge to take the plate away from them, and say do you really need that big meal lol

You will soon be on the other side and then you won't be looking back when you get your life back. It's still hard early post op, but just remember, it is life changing.

Smile on the inside, and your natural smile will show on your face.

Will be thinking of you during your op, remember to drink plenty of fluid the day before your op, as you will become very dehydrated.

Gx

 

[femfrankie]

Good advice guy ... It wasn't the hunger that got to me on op day it was the desire for a cuppa that was constantly with me I was so parched!

 

[A.Positive]

Oh my love. Just be mega proud that through all their face stuffing you have not faltered once! Xx

 

[Beegee]

If I don't get a chance to say it later.. good luck with your surgery tomorrow and I look forward to your post-op posts
xxx

 

[BDA]

Awww Natashoooor my heart goes out to you. I was on my pre op diet when I was on holiday and my family were pigging out! I am now 2 days post op and it going well so hang in there. Is your surgery date tomorrow? If so then good luck xxx

 

[paddyp]

Oh hun I'm not surprised you're feeling like that My boyfriend would feel guilty eating in front of me when I was on the preop and we would all sit down together - but they never had takeaways - maybe a discussion with your OH when you're in a calmer friend of mind? I don't know how supportive he's been but you will need all the support you can get.



As the apparent devil's advocate, I'm sorry, but I couldn't disagree more. I have never stopped anyone eating anything, but do you know what, it doesn't hurt my family that they now eat healthier. And it supports me, and frankly, just as my weight impacted the whole family, the lifestyle changes should to and positively at that. Frankly, I would be furious if I was having to face those sorts of foods every night - not to mentioned undermined and struggling. I will say what I always say - you cannot face this struggle alone, ashamed and in secret. There will be days where you will be weak, sad, in need etc. And you need someone who can give you a hug and go cook/make you cook when you can't do it for yourself. Not someone who will suggest you join them in a takeaway. I couldn't have done it without my families support. Without them changing their bad habits at the same time as me. And without them being so proud of every nsv, every new difference and every activity. And to some extent, I expected no less - we are in this together as a family. I am not alone in my struggle.

Then we will have to agree to disagree. I have every sympathy for the OP but when I found it difficult during my pre op I took myself out of the situation, left the room if at home, went elsewhere whilst as work (during the numerous cake sales, trolley visits etc) and that's what worked for me.

I do think its insensitive of people to eat the foods they know you love around you, but if they are going to do so then you have to deal with it yourself. I'm sorry you have taken my comments out of context of misunderstood them but I was not saying that the changes in my diet and lifestyle aren't important for my family, but that pre op, and pre considering my op, I have never once not eaten something I wanted if out with friends who may or may not have been on diets because it wasn't my concern at that time. Sometimes people say "fat people" blame everyone else for their weight problems and sometimes I can understand why they say that. I got to this size because of decisions I made so I got myself out of this situation by taking responsibility and drastic action without expecting everyone else to change. Those changes are happening naturally and gradually. xx

 

[Louie lou]

I know it can be difficult when you see someone eating something you enjoy but you have to ask yourself "why am I doing this, am I doing it to make myself suffer or is there a long term plan and in 3 or 6 months time will I look back and be so proud of myself for staying with the program family be damed I did it all by myself."

I never even asked my husband or family to do without I knew I would see them eating the things I wanted but I wanted to have the bypass more and only I could do it.

Stay strong and you will come out on top. Xxx

 

[Bravenewworld]

Natashorr - your rant made me smile - thank you for your honesty. I don't think anyone can truly understand the constant battle those of us with food addictions or food issues have. You wouldn't offer an alcoholic who was trying to abstain a drink would you?!
I'm on my pre op diet and counting down - I've had melt downs and overwhelming panic attacks when I think what the hell am I doing putting myself under the knife. But have come to realise I am coming to terms with a sort of bereavement - I know it sounds crazy - but of an old way of life, coping strategies of eating when I'm stressed; happy; angry etc.
If it helps - I keep thinking of all the things I'll be able to do this time next year - keep positive it helps, and don't be cross with your family - I'm sure if they knew how upset you were they would be mortified. Its a very lonely journey, but the forum and messages you read or receive from fellow travellers are a tremendous help. Well done for getting this far - good luck for your Op! Keep positive you're so lucky to be having this op whilst your young - you'll have the rest of your life to live to the full as a beautiful, fit and positive woman! The world better watch out!!

 

[shelleymarie]

I don't know, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. My mum, although we argued during my pre op because I was so stressed by it all, she still made an effort. She never ate much in front of me and certainly wouldn't have ordered a take away! I'm sorry but I find that very terrible. After your surgery you won't be able to expect people to eat differently but for the few weeks of pre op, when you have nothing to keep you to it but your will power, then some support doesn't hurt! So although the time of the month makes it worse, and believe me I remember it well, support doesn't hurt and you should certainly hope to get it. I don't think asking for your family for support for those 2 weeks means you don't know why you got fat!? what a strange reaction. That is crazy. Friends and family can support you for those few weeks, if they don't then it's sad, not a punishment for getting there in the first place. Anyway not long now and then you will find it a lot easier post op. Let us know how you get on xx

 

[emma-louise]

All I know is being a woman and having hormonal episodes is tough,men have NO idea!

Please GOD I want to come back as a man..lol

 

[maz71 v]

Can feel your pain. I've done 4.5 weeks pre op and on day 13 post off and and sick of liquids!! That's 6.5 weeks I have not had meal for. But we make thus Decision for. a reason.

Rest of family had take away tonight, just sat at table with soup!!!

 

[Yvessa]

Ultimately I guess, its down to your relationship and how it works. I expected their full support and they gave it to me without hesitation. And that's how I feel it should be as I do think wls success is so very hard. And yes, happy to agree to disagree.

 

[penelope1008]

It's tough whatever we or our families do. Before my pre-op diet I are a few farewell favourite meals but not many. My family were great but I never expected them not to eat what they liked because of me. It was hubby's birthday during my 2wk pre-op diet, they still had cake & the things he liked with my encouragement. Why should the world stop just because of me. With my dietitian a help I was back on solids by our holiday 5wks post op so even if I couldn't eat exactly normally with care I could eat put each night with them & not spoil their holiday. I'd eaten myself into the need for this surgery, I didn't expect them to change their eating just because I had to. Over time we have all adapted to a healthier eating regime but if they still have what they love of they want it, I have suitable for me alternatives or the odd naughty in moderation. Usually at home so if the inevitable reaction happens I can deal with it discretely. Time adaptation & compromise all work for us both our attitudes & actions. Some meals are the same just the ingredients are safe for me like cakes & puddings at Christmas etc but don't affect the flavour etc so we all love them & it's safe.
We are all selfish in our habits but in time those can be subtlety altered so we all compromise enough to remain happy in the situations we find ourselves in.

Good luck with your op & here's hoping you get the support from you're loved ones you need & want as you & they learn what you need.

 

[mandy130]

Hey, I'm 5 years post op and I can remember like it was yesterday....I was waiting in a queue with my family at the market to buy bacon rolls...I got myself so upset that they were having them and I couldn't I actually cried. Don't let people get you down....chin up

 

[JoJoTGirl]

Whoooahhhhh!! I think that's hard going for you actually. I still managed to cook for my family during the prep diet but couldn't sit with them eating even "normal" meals let alone holy grail takeaways!
Bear with it, take yourself off if you need to and don't be too hard on yourself. I found the run up massively emotional anyway without people shoving my favourite binge foods in my face! Good luck with the op. x