StephieAck
I know Ive changed!
As you can see from my details, today is my one year surgiversary and I wanted to share some pictures with you, comparisons etc.
Firstly...the beginning of this exciting year...
Secondly...my 'wounds'...one day post op and now...
Thirdly...me one year ago and me today..front view...
Fourth...the same as above but from the side...
Next is a comparison picture...the first one was so horrendous and I tried to recreate it to compare, obviously not the same clothes but pretty close...
And this last one is just one I like, I was pulling a stupid face at hubby on it so I cut that bit out, but I was taken aback at how slim I look on this picture and just HAD to share it...
So thats the photo part of this thread, now for the reflection and thought.
All this week has been strange, as its moved towards the first anniversary of my new life starting, I felt that same feeling in my stomach as I did this time last year...fear, excitement and I had to remind myself that this is only the anniversary, I dont have to have the surgery again lol
Anyway, last night (Thursday) in the evening, I started to become a bit weepy and was just randomly having some tears here and there. Not sad tears, happy tears, full of gratitude for the chance that was given to me, this wonderful new life I have as a bypasser, the whole thing just overwhelms me and so I havent tried to stop the tears, Ive had three little fits of tears already writing this post lol
I wanted to do something ceremonial to say goodbye to the old me, so I printed out a picture of the old me and I burned it, I put it in a bowl and set it alight and as I watched it burn away and that image vanish, I realised that I dont WANT to say goodbye to the old me...I dont want to ever just be this average woman, I WANT to remember the old me, I was that woman for 32/33 years, I have forgiven myself for letting myself get so big and for needing to resort to surgery and that is enough for me, I thought I needed closure but I dont, I just needed to forgive myself, and I have.
So...was it worth it some have asked...yes, yes and unequivocally...YES!!!
Ok so I regretted it terribly for a good four or five weeks after the actual surgery, but since then things have just gotten so wonderful for me, my health is 100 times better, I have loads of energy and stamina, my confidence, whilst I am still not an extrovert, my confidence IS higher, I dont stare at the ground any more when I walk down the street, I walk with my head held high and not like before, where I felt like I should be ashamed, those days are gone and I love it.
I can now look at myself without wanting to cry...well, mostly, sometimes I want to cry with joy but never with shame and disgust like I did before the operation!
Its not all a bed of roses obviously...I have hip/pelvis pain where the fat used to cushion my joints, that has gone and so now I have pain I didnt have before, but it isnt constant and its managable so that is ok.
I HATE the excess skin where my double chin was, everything else I can hide under clothing but that skin I cant hide, Im praying to win the lottery just to get a neck lift!!! I truly do hate it, but its better than it was before the weight loss so I shouldnt really grumble.
So yes, there we have it, a year has gone by, a thrill packed, confusing, delighting, magical year has gone by, in one sense it seems like it was sooooo long ago but in another sense it feels as though I have blinked and it has passed by.
For those of you that are considering surgery or waiting for your turn...do it!!! It IS life changing and is just so damn awesome, I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! xxx
Lots of love to you all xxx xxx xxx
Steph xx
Firstly...the beginning of this exciting year...
Secondly...my 'wounds'...one day post op and now...
Thirdly...me one year ago and me today..front view...
Fourth...the same as above but from the side...
Next is a comparison picture...the first one was so horrendous and I tried to recreate it to compare, obviously not the same clothes but pretty close...
And this last one is just one I like, I was pulling a stupid face at hubby on it so I cut that bit out, but I was taken aback at how slim I look on this picture and just HAD to share it...
So thats the photo part of this thread, now for the reflection and thought.
All this week has been strange, as its moved towards the first anniversary of my new life starting, I felt that same feeling in my stomach as I did this time last year...fear, excitement and I had to remind myself that this is only the anniversary, I dont have to have the surgery again lol
Anyway, last night (Thursday) in the evening, I started to become a bit weepy and was just randomly having some tears here and there. Not sad tears, happy tears, full of gratitude for the chance that was given to me, this wonderful new life I have as a bypasser, the whole thing just overwhelms me and so I havent tried to stop the tears, Ive had three little fits of tears already writing this post lol
I wanted to do something ceremonial to say goodbye to the old me, so I printed out a picture of the old me and I burned it, I put it in a bowl and set it alight and as I watched it burn away and that image vanish, I realised that I dont WANT to say goodbye to the old me...I dont want to ever just be this average woman, I WANT to remember the old me, I was that woman for 32/33 years, I have forgiven myself for letting myself get so big and for needing to resort to surgery and that is enough for me, I thought I needed closure but I dont, I just needed to forgive myself, and I have.
So...was it worth it some have asked...yes, yes and unequivocally...YES!!!
Ok so I regretted it terribly for a good four or five weeks after the actual surgery, but since then things have just gotten so wonderful for me, my health is 100 times better, I have loads of energy and stamina, my confidence, whilst I am still not an extrovert, my confidence IS higher, I dont stare at the ground any more when I walk down the street, I walk with my head held high and not like before, where I felt like I should be ashamed, those days are gone and I love it.
I can now look at myself without wanting to cry...well, mostly, sometimes I want to cry with joy but never with shame and disgust like I did before the operation!
Its not all a bed of roses obviously...I have hip/pelvis pain where the fat used to cushion my joints, that has gone and so now I have pain I didnt have before, but it isnt constant and its managable so that is ok.
I HATE the excess skin where my double chin was, everything else I can hide under clothing but that skin I cant hide, Im praying to win the lottery just to get a neck lift!!! I truly do hate it, but its better than it was before the weight loss so I shouldnt really grumble.
So yes, there we have it, a year has gone by, a thrill packed, confusing, delighting, magical year has gone by, in one sense it seems like it was sooooo long ago but in another sense it feels as though I have blinked and it has passed by.
For those of you that are considering surgery or waiting for your turn...do it!!! It IS life changing and is just so damn awesome, I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! xxx
Lots of love to you all xxx xxx xxx
Steph xx
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