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What did you tell your teenage daughter?
- Thread starter Tules
- Start date
I've got a 12 yr old.
My husband and I thought about this for a long time and we decided to 'lie'. So I told her I was having a hernia op. However, it backfired as she thought I was ill and it terrified her. (We're very close).
So we went out and sat in a coffee shop and I told her the truth. She's seen me try diet after diet so she was fully aware I had weight issues.
The same as your daughter, at the moment my 12 yr old is lovely and slim - BUT she has the same shape as me and unless I watch her, she'd certainly eat an lot more junk if she could. I explain this to her by saying I don't ever want her to have my problems. (I got to 15st when I was 15)
I have to say, telling my gorgeous girl was the best thing I could have done. It's our little secret and she helps me so much. She's getting so excited by me shrinking as she'd love us to share clothes. I'm really lucky to have her support.
My husband and I thought about this for a long time and we decided to 'lie'. So I told her I was having a hernia op. However, it backfired as she thought I was ill and it terrified her. (We're very close).
So we went out and sat in a coffee shop and I told her the truth. She's seen me try diet after diet so she was fully aware I had weight issues.
The same as your daughter, at the moment my 12 yr old is lovely and slim - BUT she has the same shape as me and unless I watch her, she'd certainly eat an lot more junk if she could. I explain this to her by saying I don't ever want her to have my problems. (I got to 15st when I was 15)
I have to say, telling my gorgeous girl was the best thing I could have done. It's our little secret and she helps me so much. She's getting so excited by me shrinking as she'd love us to share clothes. I'm really lucky to have her support.
HelenAngelfish
Well-Known Member
I don't have a child. But have a 16yr old sister, who is a size 12 and 5ft 7ins but thinks she is fat (bullied at school as all the others were 5ft 0 and size 8s)
I would usually say tell the truth. But I haven't to most people (only work).
My family think I had gynological surgery (I have PCOS) so they think I had a cyst removed.
Where I have lost weight they now think I'm on a healthy eating plan of some sort. (I'm always on and off one anyway).
Good luck with your surgery xx
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HelenAngelfish
Well-Known Member
You're welcome.
My main thing now is showing my sister that all you need to do is eat small portions - still what you want. But in moderation.
... Let's hope she never finds my diary on here and sees my slip ups, lol xx
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alfiemoomin
New Member
I endorse Bears comments, but will add its very much down to your daughter and how she is, manages thinks and copes with her own body image. ALL younger girls appear to moan about being fat, its a peer thing and yes its from the media, pop culture and even vile rap video with virtually naked women.
My daughter is 21, she seems to be suffering a bit more than me shape wise, she is pear shaped but with few pounds on top too.
I told her before the surgery but only a week or so before so she didn't make a fuss or worry, i know its the best way to handle MY daughter.
She was worried when i was out in Prague but i kept in contact with her, she is happy i am happy and i think one day she will end up doing the same. We don't seem to have very good metabolisms and genes! I would support her if she did but only if she tried non-evasive avenues first and she changed some of her own habits and lifestyle a bit.
She is a bit of a lazy bum and i know she would be thinking its a problem solver, we all know its not....... its a tool to assist our efforts WE have to make
your call based on your daughter, if you tell then, soften it as suits her, timing etc well again before or after its how you know she will react
good luck xxx
My daughter is 21, she seems to be suffering a bit more than me shape wise, she is pear shaped but with few pounds on top too.
I told her before the surgery but only a week or so before so she didn't make a fuss or worry, i know its the best way to handle MY daughter.
She was worried when i was out in Prague but i kept in contact with her, she is happy i am happy and i think one day she will end up doing the same. We don't seem to have very good metabolisms and genes! I would support her if she did but only if she tried non-evasive avenues first and she changed some of her own habits and lifestyle a bit.
She is a bit of a lazy bum and i know she would be thinking its a problem solver, we all know its not....... its a tool to assist our efforts WE have to make
your call based on your daughter, if you tell then, soften it as suits her, timing etc well again before or after its how you know she will react
good luck xxx
sophiapink100
Well-Known Member
My father had the operation when I was 16. It was quite clear to me that he had always had weight issues and he was always 100% honest with me. I understand what you mean as she is a bit younger.
From personal experience I would always be honest. My little sister also knew about my dad and she was 10 at the time and she knew about my operation as well.
Hope this helps
X
Maphillips
New Member
I told my daughter she was fine with it and was very positive
I really found her support great my daughter was 14 when I had my band but 17 when I had it reversed to a bypass
The op had good positive responses to my sons as both dieted and became more nutritional focused
So I was very happy
I really found her support great my daughter was 14 when I had my band but 17 when I had it reversed to a bypass
The op had good positive responses to my sons as both dieted and became more nutritional focused
So I was very happy
Yvessa
Well-Known Member
My daughter was 9 when I had it, and I involved her in the whole process. I told her what I was having and shared my food sheets with her so she knew what was coming and she came to visit me in the hospital. You know your child and children do react differently, but in my experience if you treat them like a young person, they will react that way and may even surprise you. If you lie to them, they may think that they should then lie to you about things. That's just my view.
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