who did you tell? who didn't you tell?

[emma&alex]

Sorry if this has been asked before..but I'm just wondering how many of you told everyone or if you kept it to yourself

I'm not embarrassed, or ashamed, or care what anyone at all thinks about me having a gastric band, I'm quite happy to argue with anyone who has anything negative to say about it...but, saying that, I'd rather pick and choose who I decide to tell.
At the moment my parents, my brothers & my boyfriend know I'm going in for the surgery. My boyfriends mum is my main issue here, which is why I decided to ask. I don't mind her knowing, and I don't care about her views...but shes got such a big mouth, and is a serious gossip, can't keep anything at all to herself..and I kinda don't want her to know. Did any of you manage to keep it to yourself from closer family? or do you just think i should tell her and let her blab about it to every tom, dick & harry!

 

[ditzeeblonde]

When I first enquired about wls I thought I'd just tell everyone now I'm much closer I've only told family & 4 of my closest friends & not sure at this moment in time if I wanted to tell anymore people about it. xx

 

[BlueDiamond]

Hi .

So far the only ppl that know (except on here ) are 3 close friends, My hubby ,my 2 kids, I not even told my parents or brothers or no other family members, but thats my personal choice, tbh I dont want to tell my parents because I dont want to worry them and I dont want to tell my brothers as I dont want them too feel like they are keeping secrets from me mum and dad. The people I have chose to tell (hubby and kids mainly ) are the only ones that matter too me , I am not saying I wont ever tell any family members but that would be after I have had the op and not before so I dont worry anyone atm with other personal probs.

If you dont want all of sundry knowing ur business maybe its best not to tell the mother in law, good luck in wot u decide

All the best -MeJulie x x

 

[seawaves]

Hi, i've told anyone that wants to listen!!
But i know people that have only told close family & friends, a friend of mine only told me & her husband

 

[angie790]

Lol, love questions like this as you are going to get all sorts of answers because it is such a personal matter!!!!!

I've only told very immediate family & a couple of close friends, partly because I'm ashamed that I've allowed myself to get so fat that the only way it's going to come off & stay off now is through surgery, & the other reason is that most of the people I come into contact with are all a normal weight, so I don't think would understand.

I personally think I've had to run the gaunlet going to my GP, my obesity consultant & everyone else involved in this surgery & convince them that this is the right way forward for me, so another reason is that I don't give a hoot what anyone else's opinion is anyway, so why invite it by telling them? Just my personal opinion! xxx

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

only my hubby, and 1 best friend knows about my op .......................thats cause when i did discuss with others i may think about this op......they were very rude , but share with who you want hun x

 

[angie790]

Oooo, I meant to say at the end of that, do whatever you personally feel comfortable with! If you don't tell many at the beginning, you can always choose to tell more people later on if you wish xxx

 

[loughpet]

Hi,

If I were u I would be very careful who I tell . Speaking from personal experience a family member of mine had the band. One person told the world .... Anyway you would not believe the amount of people who look her up and down and not once congratulate her on losing 5 stone !! In my opinion it's down to jealousy and know for a fact a lot of people are foolishly saying ...'Well sure she didn't lose the weight - the band did '. Having recently had one myself I have told only who absolutely necessary.

Of course its your own choice and whatever u chose to do - Goodluck with it all.

x

 

[fatidol]

It's down to what you feel comfortable with hun, later on you may feel different, i only told my family and close friends, and told to keep it to themself, i did.nt want to tell work, i work in a male enviourment and i would hate being asked all the while about it, so my doc put on my note post op simple as that, but now i'm a 3 weeks post op i'm feeling that maybe it will not matter who knows, i'd rather it be a gradual thing though

 

[novamay]

I have to admit I've told quite a few people that i've asked my gp for a referal, including those I work with, my husband (of course!) and my sister as she's my closest friend. I've not yet told my two cousins to whom I'm also close as they are quite overweight too and like me have struggled with their weight most of their lives. I don't know why, but I'm really hesitant to tell them about wanting the operation. We have 'joked' about having surgery in the past but now that I've made that initial step towards it, I'm not sure I want them to know. I think that they might be angry with me or make me feel like I've failed. I think that once (or if) I get my first appointment date I will probably bite the bullet and tell them.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i told everyone about both my bands.... and everyone knows about my upcoming converstion to a bypass, its a personal choice though x

 

[TessG]

I have only told the family members I live with that I am going to have the surgery and have swarn them to secrecy on pain of death. The only reason I told them was incase I was ill and needed help!

I want to tell my younger sister. Its really hard keeping it from her, but I don't want to here her (or her husbands!) opinions on what i'm doing. And I'm pretty sure that she would just discuss it with anyone and everyone.

Also I don't want to here peoples opinions that i'm taking the easy option! I don't think it is!

 

[Nightwitch]

until i got my suregry date through the only people who knew were my immediate family, my bosses at work and my core group of best friends.....once i got the suregry date thorugh i figured the best way to let people know....I made a facebook group! hahaha

I didn't care who knew once i had that definite date in the bag, and by making the group it meant i could write up everything that had happened in the past year leading up to the surgery itself, it also meant that at the time i went into hospital I had a wall of best wishes and comments of support from all my friends, and i knew they would support me afterwards too.

Though i can understand why some people keep it quiet, it is a very personal thing for each person, we are taking this HUGE step in facing a problem we have with ourselves and a lot of people do not fully understand it or why we choose the "easy way out" (easy my arse!)

From letting people know it also meant that if they had any questions about it (prior or since my op) then they could ask me, some of my friends even read through my post op eating hadnout i was given and were shocked at how much work it actually seemed to be afterwards.
It has also meant that since my op I now know 3 other people I work with who have now gone for gastric bands.

 

[StephieAck]

Im trying to remember who I told before I had the op. I dont think the subject came up much so only those that had regular contact with me knew about it, but I didnt do that on purpose, it just didnt come up. Once I had the op I was going to keep it as quiet as I could but then I thought sod it, tell whoever asks, so I have done and I must admit that I have had nothing but positivity. Obviously there will be those that say things behind my back that they dont say to my face, thats just life and I dont much care if they do. I also dont care who says I took the easy way out or cheated, I know that I didnt so why should I care about their stupid opinions, though if anyone said it to my face I would just come back with "that shows just how little you know about the subject". I just dont care how people look at me any more, they cant think much worse of me than they did when I was huge, many must have thought how greedy I must have been to get that big, so whats the difference, they are just the types to think badly of me no matter what I do so sod em!!!
I have actually found that by being so open about it that people have gone out and learnt a bit more about it out of curiosity.
If anyone said to me now that I have cheated etc then I think I would have to say "ask me if I care!!! I am slimmer now and much healthier and happier, I dont care what you think, your opinion doesnt affect me, Im not after your approval, so whilst I am slim and fab then I really dont give a sh*t what you think!!!".
Cant you tell that Im the type of person that thinks scenarios through in my head lol
I would say that once SOME know, chances are that many many more will know, even lovely people that are nothing but supportive talk about it, even if they are bragging about it on your behalf!! So expect that if you tell only a few, chances are that many many many more will know.
I seriously dont think it is anything to be ashamed of and it will weed out all of the crap people in your life, those who are valuable will support you and be there for you, those that who are crap but always hid it well will show themselves for who they are, then they have done you a favour.
So it is definately a very personal thing, but for me personally, I dont care who knows or what they think of me for doing it.
Steph xx

 

[lamornamiss]

Hi, i've told anyone that wants to listen!!
But i know people that have only told close family & friends, a friend of mine only told me & her husband

Same here told everyone I know.
I did try to keep it from my parents because I knew my dad wouldn't be supportive, But my daughter worried herself to death and blurted it out to them and they were a bit funny with me to start with but are ok now and are the first to ask how much weight I've lost.

 

[Mazza]

I've only told people I think NEED to know ie my OH (obviously lol) and my daughter. My mum knew too as she helped me pay for it but because of the relatively quick recovery period and slower weight loss anyone that has actually noticed my weight loss has just thought it was down to healthy eating.

It is a very personal choice, good luck with your op x

 

[LisaG]

I decided to only tell people that were really close to me but occassionally I feel I can trust someone I don't know that well and end up telling them.

I get annoyed though when people press me too much...then I'm just stubborn and don't tell them anything. One of my neighbours kept fishing for months about why I was in hospital and in the end said, 'Oh will you please just tell me' but I still said no. Haha...maybe I'm a bit evil

 

[phatmomma]

I've told everyone that knows me and then my kids told all their friends too! Very funnily my older daughter (aged 12) was doing about obesity at school and ways to lose weight and the teacher discussed the various tablets and diets and my daughter put her hand up and asked ''what about a gastric bypass sir?'', he hadn't a clue so she told him it was an operation to make your stomach small etc.... After the first couple of weeks of been home they brought a few friends round to see my scar (i had open surgery so it's a good un lol), i've had to start saying NO as i feel like a freak show now xx

 

[teen]

I told everyone