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Where did everyone go?

Penelope

Well-Known Member
Tbh, I'm a bit sad today :(

All of my surgery buddies have disappeared, and never post :(

This site is about helping others, seeking advice especially
But where are all the 2014 Banders/ Bypassers / Sleevers?

( not kar & Bear, my lovely surgery buddies, but the other 95%? )

My diary is a bit boring, I know it is, lol :p
A lot of people read it, even though its in the bronze section for proper members, as I can see the stats, but maybe one person in 20 comments!

We are all busy guys, I work full time as a qualified nurse
I find myself reading posts from 5 years ago!
How is that relevant? :(

Be kind people, if you agree, say so, if not make a statement, say why not!
Pay it forward, thats what it is all about :)

Typical Born Again Bander, lol :p

Thank you for posting. I know I don't always comment on posts because I am still newly post op, and to be honest, some days I find it hard to write things, but I am reading every day and find other peoples journeys immensely helpful - especially when I am trying to work out if what I am experiencing is normal or something to worry about. I will try to join in more.
I have also noticed this, as I browse through old threads, and wonder sometimes if people are just out there having so much fun they don't have time for the internet anymore!
I follow the rules to the max, at target 18 months ago, lost my weight, no scars, blar blar blar, size 8, 8 stone, 20 20 20 for the rest of my life :p
Its a struggle, life is always a struggle, and I will always need support, I welcome help if its there :)

But I still come on here seeking help, I maybe a size 8 and 8 stone, but I still have a chubby girl's hang ups, before you judge me :(

And if you come on here looking for help, remember how you felt a few months ago

FAT, LONELY, HELPLESS, DISGUSTING, UGLY, SWEATY, UNSEXY, FRIENDLESS, UNTRENDY, UNNOTICED, UNATTRACTIVE, UNEMPLOYABLE, ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE FUNNY FRIEND :(

Pay it forward, don't read and run, stop bitching about the app has gone, Its gone, get over it x

HOW DID YOU FEEL THIS TIME LAST YEAR, OR THE YEAR BEFORE, OR THE YEAR BEFORE THAT?

Love and a million best wishes from Daisy, a massively happy Bander :)
 

Rose2016

Well-Known Member
I did find everyone's posts and journeys a godsend when I was researching whether this was the right choice for me. I read every thread searching for similarities, doing a search on surgeon, hospital and places and it gave me great comfort.

So, please do keep up the conversations even if just to let newbies ask the burning questions.
 

countrywench

Well-Known Member
A year ago .. hmmm ..
A year ago , weight loss surgery wasnt even in my mind .. I would now be feeling grateful that summer was gone and the colder weather is here so at long last I can stop being that huge heaving mass of sweat.
But here I am this year , sitting on a balcony in Malta .. I've been swimming in a swimsuit ! My fat head was still telling me to cover myself up , but a glance in the mirror told me I look ok .. I actually sat in the sun without sweating like a pig in a sauna .. I sat with my legs out in full view of everyone .. still feeling insecure , and that feeling of being judged doesn't disappear easily , but I did it .. I walked along the small beach in my swimsuit and sarong , I've not done that since I was in my 20s .. this time last year I would be hiding in the shade with a sundress and small cardigan on , thinking I look somehow smaller that way ..
I ask my husband and daughter a few times if I look ok , and I need a little encouragement and ego petting to make me feel at ease in this strange body ..
I actually swam in the sea , well bobbed really hahaha ! Us big people know about bobbing .. we float extremely well .. but I swam out to the bouy ,, 100 metres out , wow is this really me doing this ? Yes it is :) .. is this really me joining in instead of hiding and making excuses , yes it bloody well is !!
Tomorrow we are all going on a boat trip to the Blue Lagoon .. last time I did this trip I was full of dread .. will I be the fattest persons on the boat ? Will I be noticed if I slip off my sundress and show my body squeezed into a swimsuit .. they will all be staring at me with lips curled in a disgusted snigger .. we all know this feeling , whether it's true or not . A fat persons imagination is the worst ..
but today I'm not in the slightest worried about tomorrow now .. I feel like I'm blending into the normal crowd if that makes sense ..
So , last year ? I wish I could go back to whisper my own ear and tell myself , you'll be ok .. You'll be ok ..
 

Kar8858

Well-Known Member
Haha oh god I'm the same! My husband has given up on me..he keeps wanting me to put sexy underwear on..I laugh it off..I still go to bed in a onesie despite being in children's clothes now!! I'm past caring now, the main thing is I'm healthy now and feel so much better!
I keep popping on as I found this site so helpful too..x
 

los in it

Well-Known Member
Tbh, I'm a bit sad today :(

All of my surgery buddies have disappeared, and never post :(

This site is about helping others, seeking advice especially
But where are all the 2014 Banders/ Bypassers / Sleevers?

( not kar & Bear, my lovely surgery buddies, but the other 95%? )

My diary is a bit boring, I know it is, lol :p
A lot of people read it, even though its in the bronze section for proper members, as I can see the stats, but maybe one person in 20 comments!

We are all busy guys, I work full time as a qualified nurse
I find myself reading posts from 5 years ago!
How is that relevant? :(

Be kind people, if you agree, say so, if not make a statement, say why not!
Pay it forward, thats what it is all about :)

Typical Born Again Bander, lol :p
I follow the rules to the max, at target 18 months ago, lost my weight, no scars, blar blar blar, size 8, 8 stone, 20 20 20 for the rest of my life :p
Its a struggle, life is always a struggle, and I will always need support, I welcome help if its there :)

But I still come on here seeking help, I maybe a size 8 and 8 stone, but I still have a chubby girl's hang ups, before you judge me :(

And if you come on here looking for help, remember how you felt a few months ago

FAT, LONELY, HELPLESS, DISGUSTING, UGLY, SWEATY, UNSEXY, FRIENDLESS, UNTRENDY, UNNOTICED, UNATTRACTIVE, UNEMPLOYABLE, ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE FUNNY FRIEND :(

Pay it forward, don't read and run, stop bitching about the app has gone, Its gone, get over it x

HOW DID YOU FEEL THIS TIME LAST YEAR, OR THE YEAR BEFORE, OR THE YEAR BEFORE THAT?

Love and a million best wishes from Daisy, a massively happy Bander :)
I too sometimes wonder where certain people are I guess as time goes by people just move on with life, feel like maybe they have nothing to share once the " honeymoon " period is over but they have,some lurk in the background and once in a while their "likes" will be seen
After just over 2 years post op I still a very regular person on here like to give encouragement and hopefully postive support but will also tell the truth if needed I hope I still can contribute in the weeks months,years ahead from now
 

FeeBee

Well-Known Member
I always find it really helpful to read posts from people who are further on :) A lot of us I think put time and effort in to trying to support people who are at the start of the journey and immediately post op - in part because we were supported in the same way and it made a big difference. Well it did for me at least anyway and it does help on the days where I wonder if the scales will ever move again or if I'll ever manage to eat more than 3 mouthfuls of protein for a meal to read posts from people a year further on or more. It's not about just reading the stories where everything has gone perfectly either, it's useful to hear about the challenges people have faced too.

In terms of issues around the way you might see your body when you get to goal or even pass it, in real life I think a lot of people expect you to just be happy because of numbers on the scale. If you try and talk to people who are bigger than you about that kind of thing jealousy can rear it's head too and make you feel like you can't talk about how you feel anymore (I do still remember this from when I was slim in the dim and distant past). At least you can talk about it here and know other people will understand and allow you to talk about how you feel :)
 

Bear

Well-Known Member
I'm still here Oopsy. :hugs: Although if I'm honest I tend to only check new posts maybe once a week.
I can remember a discussion on here before about why people don't continue to post and I guess its one of two things. 1. Their procedure has failed and they don't know how to deal with the repercussions, or 2. Their procdure was a success and it's just a normal part of their life now.
I do try to keep up to date with things, but I think there's so many new people and if you don't keep up to date with things you fall behind and just don't have time to read their whole diaries.
I know when I started there were several very regular contributors (Verdepurdy, Frankie??, A positive etc). I know Verde got to her goal but I don't think we had an update since then. Apositive was poorly wasn't she, but again not heard anything for a while.
I can't remember that lovely guys name who moved to America. He was great.
I don't feel as if I have a huge amount to write on my diary, apart from my monthly weigh ins. Although this time next week I will.........arm lift time! yikes. Think I'll be on here all the time then as I won't be able to do much else for a few weeks. lol
 

Bear

Well-Known Member
Thanks K. Am feeling remarkably calm and chilled about it at the mo. Just want it over and done with to start healing. X
 

Bear

Well-Known Member
Gonna get hubby to take some before pics this weekend and then I'll hopefully do after ones in a month when the swelling has started to subside. Just been and bought some painkillers. The stories you make up when buying a pack of ibruprofen and codeine. :blahblah: I just asked for a pack of 16 hoping that i'll only need strong ones for the journey home. But I started telling them my husband had put his back out and wouldn't go to the doctors. After a general chat about men and their reluctance to go to GP's - she said 'I think you better have a pack of 32' lol I hate taking painkillers and pretty much never do - but 2 hrs on a train and then 4 hrs as a car passenger......think I might need something.
 

Mazza

Administrator
Staff member
Where are all the 2014 post oppers? same place as the 2009, 10, 11, 12 and 13 post oppers....

I'm still here having been a member since 2007, so before my original surgery in 2009, people move on for a variety of reasons but usually because life just moves on and they no longer need the support.

I'm 100% with you though @Oopseydaisy, support is a two way street and those who sought it should stay around (even if its only now and again) to pay it forwards. It's only fair.

I've seen people mention they miss the app, to be honest I very rarely used the app because I couldn't always do what I needed to do as a moderator but I find having a short cut to the page on my phone has much more functionality - so that I just don't get.

Our 'mother' site MiniMins was closed down for a while, then relaunched with the same platform that we now run on and I'm so glad we kept going.

This forum is invaluable to people who are considering surgery or those who just want a bit of support through their journey. I'll still be here for as long as I'm needed/wanted :hugs:
 

Mazza

Administrator
Staff member
You are the voice of reason on here, you will always be needed/wanted :) x

I agree with the paying it forward, and I still look on here regularly for support and inspiration

I just wish people would update how they are doing, its really sad when you follow someone's journey, then they disappear, its like watching a really good movie and missing the last 20 minutes:) x

Aw, fanks!

Lol, I love that analogy :D
 

Bear

Well-Known Member
I never used the app, always preferred using a shortcut on my phone too Mazza. But I guess we all get used to a certain way - whatever that maybe.

I love seeing what people have achieved and every now and again there's always a whirlwind member that arrives.
 
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