2007 bander starting over

[sparklyjayde]

Hi all

This is the first time in years I've been on a wls forum. For years i have struggled but I'm in a good place now and wanted to share my story and also get support as I have not done so well on my own.

My surgery was done privately in 2007, great surgeon and no issues but only lost weight on the pre op and the liquid/mushy stages. Had several fills in the first year and got to 8.5ml and had a lot of restriction but struggled so much with food. My provider was not good in my opinion at nutritional help or practical support just the medical side. And basically once the after care ran out I got fed up if paying huge amount ts to see someone and not feel listened to or supported.

Then I had about 4 years of trying diets and living on my own with the band and you quickly become isolated without aftercare support I think. Weight was not coming off and most solid foods I could not eat properly. In 2009 I started getting some pain. It took several trips to a&e and being told by nhs that if it's band related I would need to pay to see my private provider and then one horrible night in 2012 where I begged to be helped that they found I had gallstones and a very yucky gallbladder. That was taken out but I still got pain and swollen in the upper abdomen. My lovely nhs consultant who took out my gallbladder ruled everything else out and finally said maybe it is the band and so I was referred to an nhs team to had a defill.

This takes us to now, 6 weeks ago I had half the saline removed and all my pain as gone. I spent years over tight...even though my provider said I was fine I was not. I have learnt now to be strong in what I think as I know my body! I have been given more support in the last 8 weeks than I have in nearly years and I finally realise how the band works. I truly knew nothing. Partly that is because advice has changed since I had it done. I appreciate I have some part to play in this, anyone with a band realises how basically we are the people who make the decisions and make it work. But I was made to feel a failure and so embarrassed because I had failed the band. Well actually my provider failed me and with the right support I now feel I have a fresh start. Yes I've done things wrong, but when you are over tight you do seek out easy foods. So with the new knowledge I have of the red amber and green zones and other stuff I am starting again as of today.

I would like to encourage anyone who has the band to really follow the providers instructions but do not be tempted to be over tight. You are the key to success not the band it is only a tool. I never got that before surgery even though I was told as I was just so desperate.

I have an xray adjustment booked for 20th April when they are also going to check out what everything looks like and my oesophagus is working as it should. I pray I have not done too much damage being over tight for so long and over eating on crap foods.

I need lots of help with portions and what to eat so I hope to get that. If anyone would like to join me and offer support that would be ace

 

[Crystalrainbow]

Hi ya hunni let me be the first to welcome you and say well done for being here today, you've had a tough time to reach this point............you certainly sound as if your in the right place and with all the help and support your now getting things can only get better and better.
I have had very much a different journey thus far, i had my band fitted by the NHS in feb, after a long 3 year wait. Ok so the waiting wasn't fantastic, but i felt completely prepared, i knew how the band worked and the support groups i attended gave me all the nutritional info. I still have ongoing support group once a month, covering fluids, slow and mindful eating, snacks, portion control blah blah, but honestly its been a breeze. I cant fault the help i have received, and i feel it shows too................ so far i still have an empty band, i have managed to loose almost 6 stone since feb (including pre op) by following the rules alone. The nurses have been amazed every month when i step on the scales.......... so for me although a long wait i feel it was my gain of knowledge in that time. I always knew it was a tool, a barrier just to help, i always knew it was going to be down to my own hard work and determination So if there is anything i can help with or offer support in anyway just shout i'd be more than pleased to x x x x i wish you continued success on your renewed path x x x x

 

[sarahrob]

Hello lovely, sounds like you've been having a really tough time of it.

I had my band fitted almost a year ago, but the last few months have been a huge struggle - for non band related reasons I've had to have my band emptied and I'm finding it hard to get my head into gear.

Fingers crossed the xray fill shows all is as it should be, and you can start again

 

[sparklyjayde]

Hi Crystal and Sarah Sarah I hope things settle down for you.

Thanks for the support. It's amazing how different people's journeys are. I think one of the problems I have is knowing what portion size it. I read about people eating 3 or 4 rivita plus a side salad - that seems like loads to me when you are eating slowly and stopping after 20 mins. Because I was so tight I got into the habit of taking ages to eat a meal so I knew I had eaten so I really am trying to stick to the rules now and eat right and for 20 mins. What do you guys eat? Also what is this 20/20/20 thing I keep seeing lol

I'm feeling really positive after seeing the nurse yesterday. I realise I am going to have to work hard to gain my confidence with the band again but I feel like I can do it

One of the things I have been asked to do is have a solid breakfast not a shake which is my go to breakfast, I'm going to find that hard! I only have 3.5ml in at the moment and I can manage food in the morning I just have got into the habit of needing liquids until lunchtime. Not sure what I will have today because I want a shake lol!

I would love to know how people cope with famiky/friends who try to feed you!! even though I have a band my parents say things like "you haven't eaten much" if we go out for a meal and it drives me nuts.

I am setting myself a goal of losing 2 kilos by my xray which is totally doable and hopefully I will get more

Have a good day ladies x

 

[Nikola]

Welcome and good luck with the next stage of your journey xx

 

[sparklyjayde]

Good morning. Well yesterday was Ok, I think I ate too much at night, but by eating g following the rules I really am hungry! It is good to feel hunger again though. Not sure how I'm going to cope until the xray, think maybe little and often may be best so I still keep the calories down but that is not what they want me to do. So any tips are greatly received as maybe it's what I eating.

It's so emotional struggling with a band I go from feeling like it's going to be the best thing ever yo feeling like I will never do this. But I'm battling on

 

[Yvessa]

Hi Hun, I know there are articles on the band forums with food suggestions have you looked at those? Mazza's post comes to mind

 

[Birdie01]

Welcome and good luck with the new stage of your journey. We are human, we make mistakes and now that you know better including your support structure - you will do it, and you will be successful!

 

[sparklyjayde]

So I have been on holiday for the last week...blimey it's hard to stick to the rules on holiday! But I tried very hard, did eat too much one night, but I'm learning to listen to my hunger signals now I can feel them again so I'm confident I will get there. I can't wait for my fill on 20th as I am genuinely hungry 2 hrs after I eat so I'm thinking little and often maybe best although I know that is not what I am supposed to have. 3 meals and no snacks seems very hard but maybe if I get the fill right I will realise it is doable

I would love to know what everyone eats, the forum seems a little quiet! So any ideas for solid foods would be great and volume so I can work out if I'm doing Ok. I still can't work out how if you are chewing for so long that you can eat even a side plate full in 20 mins and I know I sometimes carry on because I'm still hungry. Maybe it's my fill level.

 

[los in it]

sorry to see your going thru a rough patch Sarah .things can only get better so stay strong and be positive you have been such a help to me I hope you know you have my support whenever you need it

 

[Crystalrainbow]

I feel the same sometimes, when i hear of what others eat, i wonder how its all possible sticking to the 20 20 20 ??? but hey forget everyone else this is your journey now. I have been getting complacent lately with the eating slow etc ..... but am back to it in earnest this week i wish u luck i eat from a small plate ........... on it for tea tonight was a 5oz hicken breast (half of which the puppy shared) half a small jacket potato barley touched and 100g spaghetti again barley touched LOL so thats me i also snack during day but low cal snacks, laughing cow lights, fruit or ice pops also i suck from time to time when feeling hungry on a lolly pop the chupa chup mini ones

 

[sparklyjayde]

Thanks for your reply crystalrainbow you are right it is my journey and I have to figure it out. It's great to have ideas about what to eat too.

So today is the start of a proper fresh start and being 100% as I now have no holiday temptations! I have started the day with a vegetable juice which I made in my juicer- celery, ginger, cucumber and a bit of apple for taste. When I was in pain I found that drinking these made me feel better so it's something I want to keep on doing. Then for breakfast I will have 1 slice of wholemeal toast (small loaf) with some turkey ham and cucumber. Lunch will be some crackers and tuna and dinner tonight will be chilli and a spoon of rice. I already made the chilli a while ago and froze it into small tupperware pots so they are portioned correctly. I am also going to plan in a snack of a rice cake.

Please let me know what you think and if there is anything wrong or better to have.

 

[flutterby1966]

Sounds lovely. Are you getting some calcium in too?

 

[Crystalrainbow]

Sounds good to me mines pretty boring B. 1 weetabix small banana 100mls milk lunch 2 slices of ham with side salad D 1 fishcake 100g beans i've also nibbles a few crackers during the day .... a hot choc before bed and thats me.

 

[sparklyjayde]

Didn't plan in any calcium specifically...maybe I should. Thanks guys good to know what you are eating.

My day was fine until the evening when I succumbed to cakes that were in the house, I just could not help myself and I feel so crappy now. I just wanted a 100% day with the band and I find it so hard. I guess the problem is that for years i learnt how to eat round it and I need to unlearn it. But I have thrown out any cakes and biscuits so I can't have them and I'm sticking to the plan. Does getting the right full level truly help with wanting to eat?? I know being over tight was not good and the Dr said that is why I wasn't losing. I need to start having faith in myself and my band!

Anyway a new day and I am going for it. No messing! Off to plan meals then will post them later.

 

[flutterby1966]

You can have your cake and eat it, so long as you are in control.

Don't buy it and have it at home if you cannot cope with it. Have it as a treat when out maybe, and plan it into your day...once you have eaten the band friendly stuff first though maybe?

Being overtight or sometimes over cautious with the 'main' meals sometimes leads to snacking/grazing. A little bit looser and eating larger/nutritious main meals can make that band work better and leave you feeling fuller for longer so less tempted to go mad with the bad stuff.

Over three years out, and I still have the odd day where I use Mfp to record what I eat, just to make sure I am still on the right tracks protein-wise. I am no angel though I am 90% better than I used to be. Remain positive and don't beat yourself up if you do worse than you want, as it's probably still better than you used to be!?! Xxx

 

[sparklyjayde]

Thanks hun I think I have an all or nothing attitude which does me no favours. You are right. I am much happier being looser since my defill and never want to go back to the over tight hell I was in where all I could eat was junk and I was in pain all the time.

So I'm in a rush this morning but have had a danio yoghurt as they are very high protein. First time trying them and very impressed.

Have packed a lunch of 4 oat cakes, 2 laughing cow light triangles and 50 roast turkey chucks.

Dinner I think will be fish in parsley sauce and 2 new potatoes. I may be hungry before lunch so will also take a nakd bar as a snack and some snack a jacks. I'm out for quite a long time so don't want to be caught out!

I will do it today

 

[flutterby1966]

arty0049: go for it girl

 

[sparklyjayde]

Having a really hungry day today. Started the day off with a slim fast as I needed to use it up but it did not fill me up at all so I ended up having a small cheese and chicken wrap about 10.30 and felt really disappointed in myself as I'm up on cals now for the day. Definitely sticking to solid foods from now on and can't wait for my fill next week.

Had a very decadent lunch of a small but of toast from a small chilli bloomer, a fried egg in fry light and a mackeral strip. Felt very posh and yummy

I bought some very small snack bags that can go in the freezer and have split the posh loaf I bought into 30g slices and frozen them and also frozen the rest of mackeral strips which are about 35g each. That way I'm not wasting anything and I can't graze on it as it is frozen!

I'm finding it really hard with out the restriction I used to have. Made me realise what I'm missing and also how I ate round the band even when not hungry. Now I can feel hunger again and know how to use it I really want to but it's hard with hardly any fill! How some of you guys have done it with just the band is amazing, wish I could be like that!!

 

[sparklyjayde]

Good evening...If anyone does read this

I'm trying to update this most days to keep me on track! It's 6 days until my xray fill. They are going to check what happens when I eat and then hopefully give me a fill. I'm hoping 1 ml will help as I don't want to push it and get pain again. But I would like to feel less hungry and will power is hard!

Had 2 awesome food days and I'm feeling thinner. Had a sneaky Wi tonight and have lost 6 lbs since coming back to the rules . It is hard but I'm trying and I'm really going to give this my best shot.

Been reading some diaries and have been very impressed with how well people have done with a band, I think I just thought they were a nightmare. Wish I could feel like this is a proper fresh start and get the last 7 years out of my head as I still feel like a failure, but I'm trying to change that mindset.

I'm finding I'm hungry after a meal quite quickly which is driving me mad. I'm focusing on protein, don't know what else to do. Maybe only a fill is the answer! Bring it on ...