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A timely reminder... be warned this is long!

Sar2567

New Member
I wasn't sure about starting a thread on my journey as so many others have and I kind of like just joining in with yours and asking questions when needed. But today is 3 weeks to go and serving as a timely reminder that surgery is fast approaching, I had to pay for my op! That will be one hell of a credit card bill next month. But I am sure in my mind that it is worth it and I also hope that one day it will be paid off!

My name is Shelley and I turned 34 last weekend. I am in a civil partnership with Becca and together we have 7 children: Cait 13, Josh 12, Hannah 10 and Niamh 7 from my first hetero marriage and and Rosie 5, Noa 3, and Freddie 1 whom we have had together but carried by Becca by the same AI donor. So all in all we have 5 girls and 2 boys!

I have been the 'chubby' girl throughout my life, but was particularly good at Judo, fighting for GB from the age of 11 - 18 and prior to the 'surprise' pregnancy and accident was in training for the Sydney Olympics, it was always my dream but becoming a mum was something i never thought i would ever do. Now I am glad that fate brought me my family more than anything in the world. Any way, thanks to being seen as the person not to be messed with and attending a well thought of girls grammar school, I didn't have any problems at school. People came to me if there was a problem, but even so, I still hated my weight and longed to be smaller. It was a very strange predicament in my head. I fought at a certain weight band and on occasion had to eat more to make sure i made it, i trained 6 days a week and was very fit for my size, people always used to comment on my stamina, yet there was no real weight loss and i never seemed to physically get any smaller.

When I started uni, i was still fighting regularly and was also a member of the west of england uni rugby team. I was very aware of my sexuality but as I was reading Theology with the aim of being Ordained it seemed the best idea to just hide it and get a boy friend. One thing led to another and towards the end of my first year I found out i was pregnant. I had to stop all contact sports and this is when the weight piled on. i was no longer chubby but fat!

When i was 8 months pregnant with my daughter i was working late at a restaurant, to cover my uni bills and fell on a slippery floor. I smashed the bottom of my spine and pre eclampsia set in with the pregnancy. i was on immediate bed rest until she was born at 37 weeks and still after I struggled with mobility due to fracturing my spine in 2 places. The weight continued to pile on.

I continued at uni and graduated whilst being 5 months pregnant with my son, at this point there was no operation that could be done on my spine so it healed slightly out of place and made my spine twist, it was incredibly painful and meant that i had gone from a very active life to one that hurt to do anything. It was also hard looking after a small child and being pregnant. Hey ho I didn't learn and went on to have 2 further children. It was 6 months after having my last daughter that, thanks to having private medical insurance, I was given revolutionary surgery and my consultant replaced 2 vertabrae with metal and bolts and fused my lower spine. This has really helped my mobility and pain in my back, however, as i was fully aware the operation had huge risks attached and a bolt went through my sciatic nerve causing my left leg to lose sensation and my whole sciatic nerve to buzz constantly. 2 years later i was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia and will always be on a concoction of medication including daily morphine to keep active.

Over this time my weight has fluxuated greatly at my lowest I was a size 14, at my heaviest a size 22. I know in the great scheme of things that this is not huge, but with my other disabilities and issues, it is severly affecting my life and to loose weight may mean that i can stay on my feet longer and avoid what i know will eventually happen of going into a wheelchair.

I have been investigating surgery for over a year, I was aware that i did not meet my PCT's criteria and so set about finding a surgeon that would do the op but also be sympathetic to my fibro and nerve conduction issues. I found Mr Sigurrdson through the Hospital Group and although you could never call him a chatty man with an excellent bedside manner. I like his straight to the fact way of speaking and he was realistic in my particular side effects and difficulties with over coming the initial operation.

My wife came with me and had decided that if i was under 15 stone (can not believe she thought i ever was) she would talk me out of it but if i was heavier that she could see the positives and would support me. When I weighed in at 17 1/2 stone I was suprised i was not more but she was shocked, i would never have allowed her to know in any other circumstance. (She isn't skinny but a happy size 14 - just where i would like to be.) So it was agreed after finding out the jaw dropping cost that i would go ahead with the gastric bi pass. i could have and some people say i should have the band, but to me it seemed pointless. However much weight i loose i will never be able to climb the stairs, let alone run them! I wont be able to walk miles, without thinking of going jogging ever again. One day i will be in a wheel chair and unable to use up calories, however little i put in. If i have a bi pass it will support my weight stability long term, or so it is hoped!

So operation is booked at the Princess Royal hospital, Telford for the 4th May. I am the only op he is doing that day - one benefit of being difficult i suppose. I go for my pre op on the 27th April. Things seemed so far away, yet now i have paid for it, things are suddenly very close. Since my initial consultation i have lost 1 1/2 stone which i am really pleased with, just cutting out pop and bread - i am also a coeliac, which makes food interesting but vile!

My biggest worry of having the op, however stupid is loosing my bust! it is the only attribute i have and one i am longing to keep hold of. The rest of me wobbles already so a bit of saggy fat less wobbling sounds not to bad although the thought of getting sores in and creases makes me wince. Because i have to sit down so much i guess i will be at an increased risk. Does anyone else suffer with this?

The thing that i am looking forward to the most and the only reason i am doing this is to being able to walk my daughters the 150m to school and back. I can do this maybe once a month at the moment, she would be so happy if this became a regular ocurrence.

And i suppose being able to stay doing the job i love for as long as possible would be a bonus - especially when it comes to paying that credit card. Once I am in a chair i have been told that the risk levels associated with the young people i work with, will be too great and then i am unsure what will happen. As for that other bit i through in a little earlier, I am now also going through ordination assessment with the hope of being Ordained in 2014 or there abouts. Then i will happily resign from my post.

The hope of my diary, now you know almost every thing about me! Is to be a source of support and hope. So many of you are such strength to soo many. I really hope that my journey will be as successful.
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
wow Shelley!! thats some story there. I'm glad you got your personal life sorted eventually, thats got to be a hard one. Good luck with your op, it will be here before you know it, also good luck with your marriage and being ordained, I wish you a very long, health and happy life xxx
 

chrisa

New Member
Hi Shelley it is good to hear peoples stories and you have had you fair share of problems, i hope your op goes ok and i'm sure you will notice a big difference when the wait starts to come off again. God bless your partner and the kids may they continue to be a source of drive /encouragement for you to get through this op and recuperation so you can start the new life you need, good luck with the ordination process as well, if you get to the point where you do get sores conotrane is the best cream i know of for that kind of thing. xx
 

lamornamiss

wants to be a loser
Hi Shelly I had my op 2 years ago on the 4th May and it's probably the best thing I did.
I hope all goes well and you get the weight loss you want.
 

taral

New Member
I was athletic when I was young and hurt my back though not as bad as yours but there is no doubt it had an effect on me. not being able to exercise as well or dance which I loved I turned more to food. My gastric sleeve surgery is booked for 19th April but I am struggling to lose the weight! Good luck with your surgery and keep us informed!
 

Fuffs

Shrinking Big Brummie
What a story! You have truly been through it. Your family sounds amazing. So many children lol

You are doing very well. This op should free you to do a lot more.

Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to following your progress chick xxx
 

Sar2567

New Member
Thank you everyone! And well done for getting through the novel lol fingers crossed the next 3 weeks don't drag... Not good at waiting!
 

Big an Bouncy

New Member
Hi hun and welcome!You will make lots of friends here and get loads of support,2nd to none.
Dont worry about crease sores,I had them pre op and none since.The fat seems to put pressure on the creases but once its gone they are sore free(in my case anyway!)
What a lovely big family you both have,lots of extra love and help post op!Maz x
 

cu16

New Member
Best wishes with your op x
 

lyndajoan

New Member
hi thanks for your story, what a lovely partner and family you have, i to am sure this op will help when you have lost your weight hopefully with the pain to, your op is in 11 more days wow that will come along in a blink of an eye, whishing you good luck and best whishes, keep us posted on how you are doing. xxxx
 

Fuffs

Shrinking Big Brummie
Thank you everyone! And well done for getting through the novel lol fingers crossed the next 3 weeks don't drag... Not good at waiting!

And was a fascinating novel, so that helped lol

And the time will fly. Believe me :D I am impatient too. But found it flew by xxx
 

lyndajoan

New Member
What a story! You have truly been through it. Your family sounds amazing. So many children lol

You are doing very well. This op should free you to do a lot more.

Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to following your progress chick xxx


(i totaly agree fuffs)
 

Sharonimo

Sleeve to Bypass
Hi Shelley, thanks for the insight into your life. :)

It often helps us understand another person's journey to understand where they are coming from, what they have been thru to get here, and what makes their circumstances unique.

Best wishes with your op,
xxx
 

Sar2567

New Member
Had my last takeaway for a while at least last night. Glad to say it was disgusting, not really a Chinese lover but the wife insisted. Having been to India, too many times, that is what I would have preferred but then I know I would crave it more. So many 'last' things to do. Anything you thought you would have to do without but managed to find a healthy alternative?
 

Yvessa

Well-Known Member
I wanted a takeaway, but then on the last day found i didn't fancy it at all and cooked at home :) I have in the past made chicken kebabs at home when I've been craving
 

me_but_better

New Member
Hi Shelley,

Wha a story! Like others have said, you sound like you have an amazing family, and hopefully this will be the icing on the cake for you all!

Take care

A x
 

shelbell

Proudly maintaining
Hello from one Shelley to another :) when reading I was amazed by things we have in common other than a name. I am disabled too, part time wheelchair user, have had spinal problems leading up to spinal surgery last year, also have fibro (amongst a tonne of other things), and wanted to be more active for my kids.

One tip I can give you, immediately post op I was in serious spinal pain purely from being laid flat on the hard operating table for a few hours. My surgeon wasn't prepared for that and it took a while to find a strong enough pain killer that I wasn't allergic to (can't tolerate morphine). If you use liquid morphine already then that shouldn't be as much of a problem for you but worth discussing with the surgeon beforehand.

As you'll know fibro affects your healing rate, so try not to compare yourself to others.

As for skin infections in creases, I do get these sometimes. Mostly my belly button (it has a deep hood), and one side of my groin (the loose skin makes my pubic area hang lower and so it chafes). These are easily and quickly fixed with prescription cream.

I managed to lose my weight without exercising, but I have suffered some muscle wastage. It's extra important for people like us to eat a high protein diet to try and prevent this.

Be prepared for blips with your spine as you lose weight. Your centre of gravity, posture, and spinal position change so much with significant weight loss and so back pain is quite common post-op, although mostly short term and curable with a good physio. If at all possible get physio input ASAP to work on strengthening your core muscles and supporting your spine during the losing phase.

Well I seem to have gone on a bit sorry, best of luck with your journey x

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
 

Sar2567

New Member
Thanks everyone, yes I do have an incredible family and I am very proud of them all!

Shellbell, weird how fate turns out isn't it. I was concerned about being flat, my partner turns me in my sleep every 2 hrs or I can not get up in the morning. I take okra morph and I am on fentanyl patches. I am allergic to paracetamol so have a real problem with pain killers in general. Could make it interesting. As my back is mainly metal I am hoping pain will be quite stable, time will tell. I just worry as I am on so much pain relief already, if I need more, what can they give?

Do you take any NSAID's? Concerned about what I have read about people having to stop taking them.
 

shelbell

Proudly maintaining
I take occasional naproxen, when I'm having flare ups (I have flaring conditions including lupus and TMJ), but it's only short term and I'm still on lanzaprazole to protect my stomach. I take a small aspirin daily but that's more important as the risk of stroke without it is bigger than the risk of ulcers with it.

I found that post-op my drug allergies changed (fibro makes you more prone to drug sensitivities anyway), and now i can't tolerate codeine or penicillin, and I used to use dihydracodeine routinely pre-op. Recently a friend gave me some paracetemol she'd stored in a pill dispenser with some codeine and just the dust on them from being together was enough to set me off! That was something I never expected to be a problem post op.

Your partner sounds wonderful, that kind of support will be invaluable in the first few months post op.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
 

Ruthiep

New Member
Shelley: I suffered horribly from osteoarthritis in my spine, knees and one foot before my op...in fact it was this pain that pushed me to do something about my weight, not so much my size. I wasn't that huge pre op, "only" 14 and a half stone, but for someone of 5' 1" it was plenty big enough. I have also been over 17st, that was back in the early 2000's but I managed to lose 6st just by sheer determination. Couldn't keep it off for long, put about 3 1/2st back. Now 4 months post sleeve, I'm under 11st, feeling great, pain gone from most places. It's amazing how much our weight contributes to our bodily aches and pains; even my spinal doctor didn't believe that having WLS would make any difference to my arthritis. After all, arthritis doesn't "go away" but the pain certainly did!

Good luck on your journey; I also have a large family (7 adult kids, all married with kids of their own!) and they've been great about all of this.
 
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