Hey advice please??

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

Im kaylaa im 23 female from north wales uk. i am 5ft2 (only just ). and weigh 25 stones+ (not sure scared to wiegh). I suffer from extreme depression and lock myself away in the flat i live i bearly get out of bed each day accept to shower around 4 times a day , because of my size i just feel unclean a lot of the time.

i have no friends as i had to move to this area following a 3 year abusive relationship which ended bad and i had to escape.. i was 18st when that ended 4 years ago and now im becoming so large im really scared for myself. breathing and normal household duties are a grave difficulty.. i live alone so i dont know where to ask for help... moving around and doing normal things are so hard.

I am thinking of asking my GP about Bypass or lap band?.. im scared about surgery but im also scared of wasting away my life or of dying anyway?. im 23 and never really done normal things with friends as i have no confidence i just want to be able to live properly and just enjoy being around others instead of feeling so bad and that i am not worth anyones breath..

what would anyone advise me? is there some kind of help i could ask for and sould i ask doctor about surgery? im worried as i live alone with no relatives or family what would i do after surgery with noone to help me?.

many thanks.

also looking to find new friends x

 

[charliegirl]

Hi and welcome to minis. The first thing they will want to know when your GP applies for funding is what you have done to try to lose weight, things like diets, prescribed slimming tablets etc. They normally look at what you have been doing for the previous two years as sometimes they will recommend weight management clinics which may just work for you, if that fails they then can refer to surgery. Also it depends on the criteria that your particular PCT is looking for. In my area my BMI had to be 35 or over with co morbidities like high blood pressure or sleep apnea. So you need to check what they are asking. In some areas it is a much higher BMI than what I had and people in a much worse position than me get refused. I was extremely lucky. Go speak to your GP and find out the criteria would be what I would recommend first. Read all the info on here to help you decide I learnt so much from here which helped in my battle....good luck...xx

 

[shelbell]

Hi,

Welcome to mini's Like Charlie said your GP is the key part of this, they should have information on the referral and funding process.

If you weigh exactly 25stone then your BMI is around 63-64, which would make you eligible in all the English PCTs, but there isn't a list online for Welsh ones. Your GP will be able to tell you the criteria for your area though.

The first step can be nerve-wracking, but most GPs make it easier than we think it will be to ask for the process to start.

Good luck,

Shel

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

hi kayla

welcome to minis, as the others have said make an appointment with your gp, see where you stand funding wise, thats the 1st step, if you get funding and go ahead with the op thats fantastic, dont worry about after the op as the hospital wont let you out until they feel you are able to move about and do basic things for yourself, you have made a positive decision to think about surgery to improve your quality of life.

good luck

liz x

 

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

thankyou all very very much =) you have made me feel happier about speaking with my doctor .. ill let you know when ive seen the doctor thankyou .

 

[shelbell]

Which part of north wales are you from? Am not far from you

 

[sexyfairy]

hi ya here's my msn addy if ya wanna chat.[email protected]

 

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

thankyou =) added.

 

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

i got my doctors appointment for friday .

 

[wobbles]

Hi Kaylaa. You've come to the right place, and i'm really glad you decided to join us and ask for help. We've all been, and still are where you are, and it's awful. I'm so sorry about your abusive relationship and the effects it's had on you, some people are so cruel, and you don't deserve to be treated that way.

I know it's probably hard to believe right now, but you're worth it. Your life is worth saving. I think the best thing you can do for yourself and get yourself along to the doctor and have a heart to heart.

I too was scared of the surgery, but i was more scared about dying early and leaving my son behind. My dad died when i was 16, and i don't want my son to lose me before he's grown up. I want to see him get married and have babies and get old. I want to be healthy, i want to buy normal clothes, and most of all, i want to like myself. I had the bypass 3 weeks ago, and i can already see the changes in my body. I won't lie, it is hard adjusting to not being able to eat what i want and when i want. But one of the ladies on here has a great siggy, it says 'This is not a diet, it's a life changing comittment'. And it's so true.

If you're ready to do something about your weight, now is the time, and please don't be embarrassed to ask for help. We all suffer from the same illness, and despite what anyone says, it's not our fault.

Please do ask for help, and i really wish you the very best. Do let us know how you get on.

Erin xxx

 

[wobbles]

Well done on the gp appointment, let us know how it goes.

 

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

thankyou you are all so kind and supportive and im so glad i found this place i wish id found it sooner ...it is scary and i dont have anyone to talk to about this as i shut myself away but nows the time... i just want to do normal things like buy clothes go on holiday , go to a bar//nightclub as its all things i havent done due to confidence ect...

i thank you all again ... i just finished watching soaps lol.

i was on ebay today and purchasd a punch bag thing and two dvds which are like boxing but you can go at own pace so thats brill. im also planning on starting a routine of basic exercise ect...

 

[PiiNK_PuNkStarr x]

ohh i forgot lol.. im in colwyn bay northwales.

 

[shelbell]

sounds like a good first step, just remember that we have to walk before we can run, and a lot of new 'regimes' fail because we expect too much of ourselves at the beginning.

 

[shelbell]

that's not too far did you see we're having a surgical meet up this saturday at the trafford centre? you're very welcome to come along and join us if it isn't too much for you.

 

[tammy]

Hi Kayla and welcome to minis. thanks you for sharing your story. i too have suffered from severe depression and alot of this was down to my weight. i approached my GP just before xmas last year and had my funding approved in the Feb. i had the bypass done at the end of may and have to say it is the best thing i have ever done. not only has my weight come down but my mood is generally better and my confidence and self esteem have improved no end.

so glad you have your appointment to discuss you opryions with your GP on Friday. just make sure you have a list of reasons why you want the surgery and any questions (if you are anything like me i forget as soon as i walk into the room)

good luck and keep me posted x