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How do i keep this a secret?

clar01

New Member
I am due to have surgery in August for a sleeve, am paying privately with Mr Patel, Kings College.
I have only told my mum and husband, I might have to tell HR but am not telling anyone else I work with or other friends and family.
I am not good at hiding things and if I'm honest it's stressing me out a bit, I'm feeling anxious al the time. Not sure if it's the secret or the nerves?

Did anyone else keep this a secret and feel weird and whet are your tips when the weight loss questions start?

Xxxx
 

JO28172

Active Member
I don't know how I'd have done this if kept a secret. My friends and colleagues have all been ace and I welcomed their understanding and support so good luck!
 

snack

New Member
I've only told a couple of ppl, I told others I was having a very small surgery for something else and as for weightloss said I'd joined weight watchers if you have someone to talk too about it you should be fine , in my mind I always thought it woz my business I ll tell who I want xxxx
 

safc_chick

Can't wait to be skinny!
I've told all family and 2 friends, and its really hard once you start losing a considerable amount of weight you feel horrible for lying but I know some horrible people who wud only talk behind my back. I've sed I've cut out fizzy pop which I have but pre op I drank atleast 2 litres of non diet fizzy a day and said my weight gain was mostly through steroids for my asthma and I havent had them since last yr again true tho. its really hard, Good Luck xx
 

jenny17

New Member
I haven't told anyone at all other than my dh and dd. As far as anyone else is concerned, I have had a hernia op. I haven't even told my mum. The hospital told me that a lot of people don't tell people and the sick note they gave me doesn't specify the type of surgery done. The TV cameras were in the hospital and only a couple of people were happy to be filmed, everyone else refused. You are not alone in wanting to keep it private. Tbh I wish this forum was only viewable by registered members, but because it isn't, I will never post photos or use my real name.
 

Vonone

New Member
I told my parents and children but not extended family- I hope to surprise them (they don't live near me). I have told my immediate work colleagues and boss because of the time away from work. I have only told a couple of close friends who will rally round me when I'm recouperating and positively encourage me in my new life. It's not an easy decision but support is so important, whatever you decide I hope your journey goes smoothly x
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
ive told everyone, and couldn't care less what they think, they don't know what we go through with food xxx
 

TwinkleTwinkle

A Very Happy Bunny
ive told everyone, and couldn't care less what they think, they don't know what we go through with food xxx

I only told my husband & grown up children for the same reason ... it is no one elses business. I have not regreted my decision in the least & it is not a hard secret for me to keep as people have seen me lose weight before :sigh: The only difference it has made is that it a hell of a lot easier this time, lol xxx :)
 

tracyt84

New Member
i told everyone too,and really do not care what they say about it..my life,my choice,simple as..people will always talk no matter what u do xx
 

Wonderlust

New Member
I didn't want to tell anyone, but my SO told everyone in here family :(
 

Sarahmaria

Well-Known Member
Im only telling my mum and possibly boyfriend. Gona be hard tho-everyones gona think i have a disease!!
 

Ruthiep

New Member
I have told a fair number of close people; all my adult married kids, hubby obviously, and some friends. I don't lie outright to anyone else. If they ask me "wow how did you do it?" I say "hard work and exercise" which is true. Only once has someone asked me outright if I'd had a band (I'm a sleevie) so I said no, truthfully, but later felt I had been misleading, so I told her the truth. My eldest daughter told me a few of her friends had asked her outright if I'd had surgery and my daughter also won't lie, she just changed the subject, but I'm thinking people are working it out for themselves..so fine.
 

Sarahmaria

Well-Known Member
People are so nosy!
 

Yvessa

Well-Known Member
I've told everyone. And some days that's fine and other days, after the 100th so what do you eat now I wish I hadn't. lol.

But I was very lucky and apart from my batty crazy mum didn't have a single negative reaction.
 

Karlos

New Member
Turn on the TV most nights and you can find shows about fat people having WLS, most of whom go on to lose huge amounts of weight very quickly. So when our family and friends see us who have been huge for a long time then suddenly we do the same; they work it out for themselves. Anyone who thinks lies or half truths are going to hide WLS or stop people talking behind our backs is living in cloud cuckoo land.

It's very much an individual choice and you must go with what ever you're comfortable with but for me my integrity was too important to lie or to take credit for doing it with "diet and exercise" when every single diet I tried previously I failed miserably with.

Being open and honest allowed people to be the same with me, and I've benefited greatly from the support of my friends etc. Yes I've had the ten thousand what can you eat questions LOL but so what? I've never been ashamed of having to resort to WLS to get a normal life back so for me telling people was the best option. It's up to you who you tell but if I'd lied and people find out I lied then I would have had something to be ashamed of

Good luck with your choice
 
I'll tell anyone who asks me ! I don't like the thought of me having to lie...everyone has been very supportive and it gives me the opportunity to explain why people need to turn to this type of surgery.
 

Ruthiep

New Member
I thought about being more open to all and sundry until I was a "quiet third person" in a conversation between two women. They were discussing another woman who'd lost a lot of weight and one woman was pontificating about how she'd done it by hypnosis or some such thing "Not" as she put it "by having one of those stupid operations." (I know the woman under discussion, she was huge, and I'm willing to lay money she's had surgery.). The judgmentalism of the two women, while I kept quiet, made me realize how the general populace, or at least some of them, really think. However, if like I did with said woman, people work it out that I've had "something done"; all well and good. I'm not going on a podium to talk about it.
 

WobblyW

New Member
The problem here for me is lack of control. I know that everytime I have dieted in the past and told people, that the conversations over time with those people have messed with my head, and contributed to my giving up that particular diet. Having said that, I don't care who knows, but I will only be telling those who NTK (need to know), before it happens (I'm not even accepted yet, so I may change my mind). After, and when I start loosing weight, I'll tell those that have the backbone to ask me to my face.
And that's not me being a coward, thats me being a very pricate person.

Xx
W
 

jackie_baker67

New Member
if people ask how i lost the weight i tell them the truth that i have aband as i am not ashamed of wot i have had don i did wot was right for me and i think lyin and half truths says u r
 
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