How do i keep this a secret?

[Karlos]

The problem here for me is lack of control. I know that everytime I have dieted in the past and told people, that the conversations over time with those people have messed with my head, and contributed to my giving up that particular diet. Having said that, I don't care who knows, but I will only be telling those who NTK (need to know), before it happens (I'm not even accepted yet, so I may change my mind). After, and when I start loosing weight, I'll tell those that have the backbone to ask me to my face.
And that's not me being a coward, thats me being a very pricate person.

Xx
W

I understand the need for some to maintain privacy, each to their own, I would add that the most successful post oppers are those who have a solid support structure around them. Be it from family or friends we simply cannot do this thing alone, the hormones released during ketosis are bad enough on their own but add to that our main source of support pre op for commiserating, celebrating, boredom easing, socialising was food. WLS strips that crutch from us so if we are going to get through this we need something we can lean on from time to time, and family and friends can fill that hole

By keeping this internally we deny ourselves this vital support structure. Even if they provide you with negative support in that they are against WLS and almost go out of their way to sabotage our journey we can use their negativity positively in an I'll show you, you *******o kind of way. Trying to do this alone is far too difficult. Most of the failures I've come across in the last three years or so (And there have been many) have not had a foundation of support behind them, often because they tried to keep this stuff secret.

 

[snack]

The only reason I didn't tell the world is my boss is a right ar£;h£/e , and he wouldn't think time off work for a gastric band would be justified you only get time off when your dying x

 

[SARAH S]

I only told my immediate family, don't see any others and two friends, mainly because I didn't feel it was anyone else's business....I stand by my decision and do not lie to anyone, stating that most of the weight loss is from giving up alcohol(true) eating far smaller portions(true) and doing exercise (also true).

My only thing now is 6stones lighter I feel that perhaps I am giving "false" hope to some of these people that are still going to Slimming world or Weight watchers etc but I do say that these didn't work for me in the long term.

I might also point out these are not friends, barely acquaitances and usually customers that come through our business.

I don't feel I can tell anyone now because then it would look like I'm ashamed of what I've done and also I wouldn't like people, that have shown a genuine interest in my progress, to think that I deliberatley mislead them as that was never my intention.

Hope this helps you, either way you decide it is a long term decision that you are making so think long and hard

 

[happy days]

Well I shout it from the roof tops I don't care about the odd sly comments that are made because I know anyone who cares about me is happy for me.
Personal choice at the end of the day but I hate the thought of people jumping to conclusions about me.

 

[Ruthiep]

I agree that having a support network helps a lot. But I have told sufficient numbers of people for my support network; I have seven adult married kids, they all know, as do their spouses. Several close friends also know, and random people such as my hairdresser, manicurist and beauty therapist. I think that's enough. I live in a close-knit community and everyone gossips and yaks about everyone else, so I don't see why the whole community needs to know.

 

[clar01]

Thanks for all replies! I understand both but I might just tell some close friends and close family.
The slimfast I usually hide (when I am on slimfast) I will proudly show in the office, hopefully leading them to think that's how I lost all of the weight! I don't think anyone in the office would dare ask me if I have had surgery as we are not that close and I'm a sales person so only go in once a week.
I'm really looking forward to the surgery but this part of it is really stressing me out!
Aaaaaagh!!

 

[Naddy]

My husband and one friend and one of my sisters know. I brought it up
With people when I first started thinking about surgery and my other
Sisters and my best friend clearly was not going to be supportive.
I told them about an old school friend that had, had surgery to see there
Reaction and knew by this not to bring it up again never mind tell them I was going for it!
So the passed few months Iv been telling them Iv been going slimming world and swimming and Iv lost a pound this week, then by the time I did pre op diet and had surgery (24 April) and lost a few pounds, they just asked if I was sticking to it because it seems to be working. Im not losing loads so maybe this is helping me with my little white lies. Lol it's sad but some people do not deserve to know your business if they can't be supportive. When I feel bad about not telling people I think that if I had any other op it would not be front Page news. Good luck X

 

[Caren]

My daughter is so set against this surgery, but hey, ive totally devoted 24 years to her, its my turn now, if she dont like it, tough xxx

 

[Jamast]

My husband obviously knows. I have told my three adult children (two great reaction - the other, vile). My youngest knows I have to have a gallbladder op anyway, so have not elaborated on this as he has Dyspraxia and a total lack of impulse control and his mouth runs away with him on a regular basis (bless lol) so we have to be very careful about whatever he hears in all aspects of life.

My two closest friends also now know and are very supportive, but no-one else. As far as I'm concerned, it's nobody elses business unless I wish to share it with them.

 

[Minoots]

I told every who would listen as well as a fee who did not want to lol !!! Everyone has been superb and I really love the support that I have got from everyone. Post op there are some really tough times and it is just so nice not to have to make up a lie or whatever and have friends familiars and colleagues so supportive
I have not had a single negative comment from anyone.
But I also believe it is a personal choice,,

 

[Natstar]

I love this thread!

I was in a similar situation and wasnt going to tell anyone other than my db and immediate family. Since then I plucked up the courage to tell my best friend who lives on the other side of the world and her reaction was so positive I then told my other 2 best friends who live down south.

They were also great which led me to let my db tell his immediate family and I have then told one other friend who lives near me (she tends to be my "let's go out for food" friend and she would notice!) everyone single one of them have been great - yes they have all had concerns and gone away and read about it but they have been brilliant which has made me a lot more relaxed about the whole thing and I am now so glad that some people know!

I am still not telling anyone at work- my friend who I have told works with me so she will help cover if I ever need to. I to work in sales so am only in the office 2 days a week and intend to let them all know how I am working my butt off in the gym and living on mini meals so even if they do stat questioning it it won't look too suspicious. I just can't be. I Just can't really be bothered within questions at work - I get on really well with everyone and I'm sure they won't really care if they did know but I to believe it is my business and they don't need to so I'm not going to open that can of worms!

 

[Bellydancer57]

I initially decided I would only tell my close family & boyfriend. But after the op I decided that I would tell more people as I was loosing so much weight so quickly I didn't want them thinking was was terribly ill or something. However When I told people I wanted to explain what my op involved face to face. This was purely my way of handling it. I don't much care what others think about it as it was my decision. I took it slowly & I have no regrets & everyone has been very supportive. You will decide what is right for you.

 

[WobblyW]

I understand the need for some to maintain privacy, each to their own, I would add that the most successful post oppers are those who have a solid support structure around them. Be it from family or friends we simply cannot do this thing alone, the hormones released during ketosis are bad enough on their own but add to that our main source of support pre op for commiserating, celebrating, boredom easing, socialising was food. WLS strips that crutch from us so if we are going to get through this we need something we can lean on from time to time, and family and friends can fill that hole

By keeping this internally we deny ourselves this vital support structure. Even if they provide you with negative support in that they are against WLS and almost go out of their way to sabotage our journey we can use their negativity positively in an I'll show you, you *******o kind of way. Trying to do this alone is far too difficult. Most of the failures I've come across in the last three years or so (And there have been many) have not had a foundation of support behind them, often because they tried to keep this stuff secret.

I hear what your saying Karllos, however question your data, where are your sources that state the most successful are the sharers? Surely the majority of none sharers would not entertain a forum like this? I admire your successes and acknowledge your experience but I will succeed as will many others without sharing with the world.

Xx
W

 

[Karlos]

I hear what your saying Karllos, however question your data, where are your sources that state the most successful are the sharers? Surely the majority of none sharers would not entertain a forum like this? I admire your successes and acknowledge your experience but I will succeed as will many others without sharing with the world.

Xx
W

Not just from the various forums but from being involved with various support groups for nearly four years, my sources are real people. Many people who have kept surgery a secret from even very close family will use forums as their only safe place to talk about it. Good luck with your road to success, I won't be here three years post op for you so I'll never know if you are right or wrong

 

[Fuffs]

I told the world. I should have had a t shirt made lol

I am glad I did. I also proudly tell them I lost 6st pre op.

Each to their own, but I am pleased I shared

 

[Snow White]

I told everyone! My work even had a leaving party for my stomach.

 

[JO28172]

I told everyone! My work even had a leaving party for my stomach.

Love it!

 

[Fuffs]

I told everyone! My work even had a leaving party for my stomach.

That's brilliant! Lol

 

[Caren]

i too had a leaving party for my stomach hahaha xxx

 

[claire-anna]

I told everyone! My work even had a leaving party for my stomach.

I too had a party for my stomach. In the name of nandos lol. Xx

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