Hubby being selfish :(

[Amberleigh]

So hubby says i can have surgery if i pay it off myself (fair enough)
I suggest having surgery first then getting a job after so i dont have to take time off a new job straight away. Just needed his help covering payment while i got a job. His answer - No
Ive Been paying off nearly £200 a month on my catalogue for years and have just cleared it off so i say as weve never had that money spare anyway it wont matter if i use it to make repayments or even just to cover me while i find a job.
His answer - No, we can use it to pay off my loan.
It gettin me so depressed now. Had my heart set on this surgery and now it seems like i will be waiting forever for it, if i even get it. Even the crying about it everyday isnt making him have a change of heart. Sure he just wants to keep me fat so not many other men will want me. Like im gonna leave him just cos im lush lol. Cant afford the 5 years repayments if i left him haha

 

[lamornamiss]

Selfish so and so
One cure "Murder"

 

[Amberleigh]

Ooh good idea, i prob lose weight in prison too and without it costing me £6500+ lol

 

[jenny17]

Maybe you could remind him that marriage is a partnership and that the surgery will benefit you both and as such should share the cost. I guess that might be more difficult if you have individual accounts and pay for everything individually. I am sure you will be able to think of something that he really wanted/needed that you helped pay for. xx

 

[Amberleigh]

Oh believe me ive tried. He cant afford to help me pay as his wages pays all the bills and we have 3 kids to pay for aswell. I e said how we will all benefit from me losing weight but still dont work. He just says if he had the money he would pay for it. Im not even asking him to pay for it, i just wanna be able to use to £200 a month i get on it rather than helping with his loan. Thats prib selfish of me but we were managing to pay his loan b4 i was getting that £200 so i cant see why i cant use it. Its only till i get a job ffs

 

[Paula Garner]

Sod him, just do it. Once its done. its done xx

 

[Amberleigh]

I cant lol i need him to put finance in his name. I dnt work so they wont give it to me If it was just the matter o permission and not money id have done it already lol

 

[Paula Garner]

Oh Thats a shame. If it were me, i'd be getting a job asap and financing it myself. Easier said than done these days though unfortunatley. Have you tried getting a GP referral ? Or do you not want to wait ?

 

[Amberleigh]

I dnt want to wait. Ive seen gp and he want me to do 6months seeing a nutitionist first. Not being funny but i love the fat programs, ive seen enough nutritionists on them to know already what theyre gonna say and they cant tell me nothing i do t already know. Oh and ive got to do well when seeing him but with a bmi of only 41.5 if i lose even a stone im too light to even be referred let alone have the ok for nhs funding. Its proper poop!!!

 

[Karlos]

Let me get this right. You don't work so your only income at present is what your husband goes out to work to earn. He has three kids as well as you to support and he is already paying off one loan. Despite that you want him to put the family finances he earns under further strain to pay for your seven to twelve thousand pound operation until you at some point in the distant future manage to get a job in the worst financial times the country has faced for two decades..............you're right how dreadfully selfish of him

 

[jackie_baker67]

u tryed askin someone else in your family sister,mother , father to go get loan and u use 200 to pay it every mouth

 

[Amberleigh]

Let me get this right. You don't work so your only income at present is what your husband goes out to work to earn. He has three kids as well as you to support and he is already paying off one loan. Despite that you want him to put the family finances he earns under further strain to pay for your seven to twelve thousand pound operation until you at some point in the distant future manage to get a job in the worst financial times the country has faced for two decades..............you're right how dreadfully selfish of him

If you read it properly i said I will pay it off out of my money. I may not work but i do have money that doesnt come from him. I have been paying off £200 a month on catalogues out of MY Money not his. All im saying is if ive paid off all my catalogues why cant i use my money on surgery. If i never had it in first place to spend it isnt gonna be missed but he wants me to give him that money instead of keep it.

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[Amberleigh]

It will only cause problems if i do that jackie. Hes said no so all i can do is hope he changes his mind. I try to be a good girl and do as im told

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[stuckinafatsuit]

Hi
Most clinics offer interest free credit and flexible payment plans, why not get a job 1st and in 6 months take the 2-4 weeks off for the op (hopefully they will be ok about this?) and then you can pay off the monthly payments yourself.

Kim

 

[Amberleigh]

I know they seems the simplest way to do it and prob gonna be way i go but im being inpatient. I have the money now so i dont want to wait

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[Paula Garner]

Good things come to those who wait. Sometimes things are worth waiting/compromising for. What does it matter in the grand scheme of things if you have to wait a few extra months, when you have the rest of your life in front of you

 

[Amberleigh]

Im getting old and wrinkly. I wanna be thin while i still have time to be lush lol

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[Paula Garner]

So do I, But I've been waiting almost two years now. At the end of the day, it's your choice

 

[Karlos]

If you read it properly i said I will pay it off out of my money. I may not work but i do have money that doesnt come from him. I have been paying off £200 a month on catalogues out of MY Money not his. All im saying is if ive paid off all my catalogues why cant i use my money on surgery. If i never had it in first place to spend it isnt gonna be missed but he wants me to give him that money instead of keep it.

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You miss the point, you said all his money goes on paying the family's bills, you have some income that was used to pay your catalogue but instead of now using that in helping with the family finances you want to use the family's money (Or is what's yours yours and what's his the family's?) because you don't want to wait. Your husband has said if he could afford it he'd pay for it, yet you're claiming he's being selfish for not agreeing to you spending family money on yourself?

 

[Amberleigh]

No he is sayin he cant afford it not me. For various reasons from the past i have nearly £1000 come into my bank every month and i pay some of the bills and my club book out of it. He earns a good wage compared to most and we rent from council so we pay half the rent most people do who pay private or have a mortgage. It is certainly not whats mine is mine as he has my back cards. Im lucky if he gives me £20 a week to spend on myself.

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