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I feel such an idiot and a failuer

C

candyb

New Member
:cry:I had my op on 1st September weighing in at 122.7 kilos....I started my 6 week pre op on 15th July weighing in at 133.8 kilos
Days after the op, infection set in which had me laid up in bed for 2 weeks...feeling really low and desperate for help, I had my op done on the nhs and due to change in dieticians it was very hard to get hold of anyone, so it resulted in my gp faxing my consultant to get me seen...my infection is now under control but the weight is hardly shifting
I’m nearly 5 weeks post op, and down to 117.2 kilos...however last Friday 1st October was my birthday, first night out since my op, had a few glasses of wine which went down very well, but got very hungry during the evening so ended up in my local kebab shop after the pubs...I was very angry with myself that I eat whole cheese burger, and half portion of fries smothered with ketchup & mayo...I called it my b-day treat, but...things have gone totally downhill since...I’m finding as each day goes by I’m eating more and more and my portion sizes are getting bigger and bigger...I’ve not had a fill in my band so I’m now totally unrestricted on what I can eat...and constantly hungry...I’m dreading getting weighed on Friday as I know I will have gained weight:mad:
I’ve phoned the hospital and left a message for the dieticians to call me, I’ve never felt so alone in all my life, other than reading some posts on this site I have no support at all...I feel a total idiot and I’ve really let myself down and my kids...can anyone please help me? Is there someone I can go to, even if I have to pay who can advise me on what to eat act....I don’t want my band to fail, I’m desperate too loose weight for my health to improve, and to re build my self confidence...the thought of more surgery in the future scares me, so this band must work as there is no way I can have a gastric bypass ect as I’m not good when it comes to operations....this is my cry for help :cry:
 
Hello there

Firstly your not a failure and definately not alone. Your weight loss will be slow until you reach proper restriction and most ppl can eat as they did before the operation, this is where the will power comes into play. I know u had ur munchies after the pub etc, but tbh you have to swipe the slate clean and start tomorrow as a new day or you be back to square one. Keep on at the dietician's and also when are you due to have your first fill???? Do you know what size band you have in etc??? I do wish you all the very best , but please dont suffer in silence your not alone, far from it .

All the best - MeJulie xx
 
Hi Candy,

dont feel too bad :) Youre at the start of your journey and you have no restriction. I believe from the time you have band up until your first fill, its will power alone that will get you there.

And we all know we are here because we have little or no will power.

You know you messed up, so pick yourself up and start again ok? It may be worth following a diet like weight watchers, until you have your first fill. it will give you a way to manage what you eat.

We all mess up, so dont be too hard on yourself. Start again. Youve been given a tool to help you, just need to help yourself for a while. Im sure someone will come along and advice you on diet etc.

Goodluck x
 
Julie is right, what's done is done. All feeling guilty is doing is making you continue to comfort eat. Just accept that you had a fuddle and remember that you are not yet at a good restriction. You can change your attitude today and stop punishing yourself for a perfectly normal slip up which pretty much all banders do at some point.
Don't panic, don't worry and above all stop writing yourself off as failed before you have even truly begun to live with the band.
What you do most of the time is what is important, so do not let the odd mistake keep you in a self destructive loop.
Begin again tomorrow and stick around here for the odd word of encouragement xxxxx
 
Candy please stop being so harsh and disrespectful to yourself. If one of us said such things to ourselves you'd think it was awful.

I don't know how i can help you with most of that except the last thing!

There are plenty of successful banders on here who can help you choose good foods, just ask them and save your money hun xxx
 
Just because we have had surgery on our stomachs doesn't change the way our brain works. If it was as simple as now our stomachs are fixed so our head must be we would all be little twiggies within 6 months.

Give yourself a break and draw a line under whats happened, forgive yourself and get staright back on the good eating. If you know alcohol makes you give into temptation stay away fronm it for a while until you are in a good regime. There are people on here who can advise you on foods they found good until you can reach your dietician, but keep pestering them until you get hold of someone.
 
I am harsh but that's just me... So forgive me :hug99:

Stop right now!!! You have been given an amazing chance, don't blow it!

There is nothing all the nassty food can do for you, except make you feel bad.

I am a mum of two young kids too, and they were the main factor why I had my op - so they never have a fat mum. And so they don't learn bad habits from me. You don't want it for your kids.

Be harsh on yourself and learn from your mistake.
It is NOT OK to stuff your mouth silly with all the wrong foods. They will make you fatter and miserable. Do you want it?

Be strong and you will get there!
I am a bypasser, so had a restriction plus sickness straight away, and I can understand that it is harder for you as you had a band, but get yourself together girl :hug99:
 
NO stop right there misssy! You need to give yourself some self respect!

Give yourself some credit, you know its not the best thing to do to eat a cheeseburger etc and want to do something about it.

You are most deffinatly NOT alone, we are all here for you, whenever you need us. Someone will always answer your post with some good advice and a helping hand. So NEVER feel like you are alone.

The band (as with any surgery) is not a magic wand, it will not take away the feelings of wanting food we know is bad for us, its making the decision not to have it.

You are frsh out of surgery love, please dont be so hard on yourself. Learn from your mistake and move on. You cannot change the past only the future.

In a nutshell = You are most deffinatly NOT an idiot or a failure. xxxxxx
 
Last edited:
Well Candy I've just read your post and all the great advice. I haven't much to add really, except that probably you have done all this nasty negative self-talk many times before. It didn't get you anywhere then and it won't now.

So forgive yourself, dust yourself off, and begin again.
And NO, you aren't alone.

Have some big hugs. xxxx
 
thanks for all the advice....i think a kick up the backside is what i need at the moment
finally got a call from dietician who as asked me to go back onto liquids...i explained this was not ideal as im always hungry so ive agreed to have just sloppy foods...mashed potatoe ect...
all ive eaten today is 2 weetabix and a cappuchino....so i need to try and get more fluids in and then plan my evening meal and get some sugar free jelly in and yogurts if i get hungry inbetween meals....
thans again for your replies...it means alot to me
 
Candy , check out the other band threads as we are trying to gather coping tips and boost some more support in general for banders right now. Definately keep posting and stop beating yourself over this...we all have weak moments and we don't have the luxury of physically not being able to eat too much like bypassers right from the getgo...it's a totally different situation and you must not think you are doomed to failure cos I promise you , you will cope better as time goes on x
 
how do i check out the other band threads?
im quite new to computers, just started a college course...so please excause all the stupid questions...
i just cant seem to get the nack of thi web site and its my only link to support...
 
Another Ditto here don't dare beat yourself up hun it' early days and you certainly aren't a failure. As Terri says we may have smaller stomachs but our brains are still big and fully functional so it takes time for them to catch up with our new stomachs as the emotional journey can be in mist cases so much harder. Just wanted to send you a big hug and hope you feel better about yourself soon x
 
well, i had 2 weetabix at 12pm today, bowl of homemade chicken soup at 4-30, 1 sugar free jelly and a ww yogurt..another bowl of soup at 7-30pm, some veg rice with low fat cottage cheese.....all i need now is plenty of fluids as im finding it hard to drink 2 litres a day...gonna wait for an hour for me food to settle then start drinking...ive had nothing fattening today so i feel well pleased with myself ...thanks for all the good advice ladies
 
5 weels post op today and had a weign in....ive really surprised myself as ive lost more weight, considering i felt so low at the start of the week, this as put me on a high, i was origionally 290 lbs on 15th july when i started my 6 week pre op, day of operation i weighed in at 268lbs, today im 255lbs..thats 35lbs loss...this as given me so much inner strength, ive picked up the phone and called my local gym, got an induction at 4-30pm today, seeing a personal trainer next week who is trained in obesity management....finally things are starting too look up...still having the odd weakness at night, thats when the hunger really kicks in, around 10pm when im watching tv...i fantasise about food...so ive made up some sugar free jelly and put it in the fridge for later, hopefully that will keep my hunger at bay without putting on any extra pounds...ive now come to realise that my band is a tool something i have to work with too loose my weight, and if i want to suceed, i need to keep my chin up, forget about bad days and move on....cant wait too see my consultant on 18th, gonna beg for my first fill and hopefully then i,ll start to feel full after eating and feel the restriction that everyone keeps on about, so far this as not come my way...ive never vomited or felt full...but i have halfed the amount of calories i take on a daily basis...dose anyone know how many calories we are supposed to have each day???? that would really help.....thx for all your support everyone...this site as really helped me and kept me motivated
 
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