So this is where it started...

[JakkiD]

Hi, so ive commented on a few posts but never introduced myself properly and as I feel like a bit of a stalker I thought I should. Im a 38 yr old mum of 3, and have always been 'big' but a bad few years and depression pushed me over the edge to become the size I am now. Then in January 2014 I lost my mum and it scared me so much into the reality my kids were gonna lose me if I carry on this way, so I went to my GP, long story short after jumping through choose to change hoops etc the endocrine team at salford approved my funding in May this year, I have my MDT in september and my psych in October, im pushing it I think to get my surgery this side of christmas but at least its all moving in the right direction

 

[starryeyed]

Hi welcome! Brilliant news your funding was approved and wish you the best of luck for your MDT in September. Xx

 

[FeeBee]

Not long to go now, fingers crossed for the MDT

 

[countrywench]

Hello and unwelcome Jakki ! We are all friendly and full of good advice if you need it .
Xxxxx

 

[JakkiD]

It does feel welcoming, Ive put 6 pound back on since May unfortunately, I got a bit offtrack waiting so long for the next appointment, im still just at my 5% loss but im doing my best to eat as healthy as possible before the MDT so I can shift it, I dont want them thinking I wont stick to the rules afterwards. Thankyou xx

 

[JakkiD]

Im hoping next year itll be me saying come on kids lets go to the park when we get our week of summer, instead of it filling me with dread when they ask and thinking will I have to walk too far, i cant help but feel ive let them down getting to this point xx

 

[countrywench]

Your feeling is akin to most of us at one time .. I've been obese the whole of my children's lives , 28 years .. So much I could not do with them , fun fair , Thorpe park , I'm left ' happily ' holding the bags , beach trips where again I'm ' happy ' sat watching in my clothes , unable to wear a swimsuit , climbing hills in the countryside , the list is endless .
But I also did so much with them to counteract that so don't feel guilty about it as they havnt really missed out on life because you've done other things .. As long as laughter is a massive part of the day , that's what they will remember ..
Even just sitting down reading , playing games and as I had 2 girls I spent time painting nails and messing about with hair and make up when they were older , my kitchen was always covered in glitter , paper , sequins , pens !

Do this for you . You need this to make yourself happy and healthy . Then the rest will all fall into place

 

[JakkiD]

That made me fill up (in a good way) its so good to not feel on my own with these feelings anymore, me and my kids do have a great bond, my son is 20 next week and my best friend, and my daughters are 10 and 12, we do have fun, I make more of it in my own head I think, they dont miss out, but I just always feel I could do more, I guess thats my own demons, thankyou xx

 

[countrywench]

At the end of the day all those girls want is to see you smile and laugh , bottom line .. It's us that thinks they miss out because of us .
I think your right , we grow our own demons in our head ..
have you told them about the surgery ? I know it can be a touchy subject for some , esp sharing with young girls who are just starting to get body image ..

 

[JakkiD]

They know about it, ive not gone into great depth with it but they know im having an operation soon, my eldest knows everything. One of my girls is very tiny and slim and very active, my 10 year old definately has my genes unfortunately, im hoping once I can do more and exercise properly I can get her more active too xx

 

[JakkiD]

MDT meeting this afternoon, im so nervous, im trying not to get my hopes up after hurdles always previously seemed to have popped up but am hoping theyll give me a rough idea of when surgery may be, especially as work are panicking Ill be off over christmas. No idea what to expect but shall let you all know xx

 

[Turps]

Good luck with the meeting. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[JakkiD]

Hospital have just rang to cancel the appointment as the surgeons wife has gone into labour 2 weeks early, great for them, me not so much, feel like everytime theres a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, it genuinely turns out to be a train xx

 

[FeeBee]

Oh no! It feels a bit mean to be annoyed because it's a brand new little life coming into the world and that's great.... but on the other hand you're waiting to start your new life too!

 

[paulc]

Hi, so ive commented on a few posts but never introduced myself properly and as I feel like a bit if a stalker I thought I should. Im a 38 yr old mum of 3, and have always been 'big' but a bad few years and depression pushed me over the edge to become the size I am now. Then in January 2014 I lost my mum and it scared me so much into the reality my kids were gonna lose me if I carry on this way, so I went to my GP, long story short after jumping through choose to change hoops etc the endocrine team at salford approved my funding in May this year, I have my MDT in september and my psych in October, im pushing it I think to get my surgery this side of christmas but at least its all moving in the right direction

im so pleased to hear a nhs story, why on earth they dont make it easier for people to access this surgery more is beyond me, best of luck the rest of your life will change for ever, mest wishes.

 

[paulc]

best wishes lol

 

[JakkiD]

best wishes lol

Thankyou, I agree, im not having the best day so emotions switching between your quotes and its my fault im in this mess, but it was april 2014 when I initially went to my GP and I feel Ive jumped through all the hoops Ive been asked yet still keep getting stopped everytime I get somewhere, today was noones fault I know, but its taken 4 months from approval for funding to get the MDT appointment, so was hoping things were finally going to move in the right way, im now scared its going to take a long time to get the same people to be able to commit to a clinic, Im just having a rant, thank you for your kind wishes x

 

[paulc]

dont give up, you really have no idea of how your life will change, i just cant explain it, you can only experience it, it will be well worth the wait, look forward to that massive smile in the mirror. i take my daughter for her consultation tonight, ill get her to compare notes with you. i was in contact with someone in america during my journey it really helps to be able to chat with some one on the same route, remember the best is to come.

 

[Turps]

Oh no. That sucks the meeting was cancelled.

 

[JakkiD]

Yay some positive news, had a phonecall yesterday from salford royal to say due to last weeks clinics being cancelled professor ammori is seeing some patients at the alex in cheadle next week and would I be free to attend, stroke of luck as im on annual leave, so stress and sulk over, no real time missed, fingers crossed this goes to plan