Wow I have done it I have hummed and hawed and finally sent that all important email to say "Yes take me on a path to a new me".
So who am I and where do I start?
Typical Canadian girl growing up - skinny girl... then I hit about 14 years old and got a tummy seriously I looked slightly pregnant in fact the kids at school nick named me pot belly pig. Roll on high school where I did every diet and kept gaining and gaining... No period Doctor never did any checks just called me a late bloomer yet i find out I have PCOS Charming.
So I tried every diet.. I tried every cure pill ebay order you could imagine. I tried slicing my belly off me. Everything you could think about I tried it. (So when they say at the docs office ...."Have you tried a diet" I cry.
I got teased and made fun of I got a complex and so when I was an adult I got married to the first guy who would have me... he treated me badly so I left Canada moved to the UK and met my current husband.
He himself isn't emotional but he supports me... He makes the stupidest comments in life and maybe I am a bit touchy but things like "Girls your size dont wear jeans like that" Said loudly in a department store... He doesn't mean it in a bad way just comes out wrong.
After a long battle with PCOS and trying to conceive and failing I got funding for IVF.. we were successful first time and my LO was born 5 years ago.. 11lb and 2ft long. So All that weight still stays with me. It makes me sad. I cant have any more kids and often tell people "I made perfection no need to keep going".
So since being in the UK and struggling I managed to loose some weight but then I ended up having a double mastectomy - hysterectomy. I was grieving for the loss of my breasts my womb my womanly hood . Now starts the fun HRT - Change of life- more weight and comfort eating.
I am not afraid to say I eat to make myself feel better. I am a chef by trade (go figure) and I don't eat un healthy I eat in the wrong way. I will wake up at 2am think I can't sleep .... so I make a sandwich then say "that didn't work I have room for more got to fill that hole" and go make a sandwich, a salad, and some cheese.
I am ashamed to say im 19st 2lb and I am tired of feeling bullied, I am tired of mourning my losses in life .... I am just tired.
So today I have sent the email off to reserve my spot for november end of or first week in December. I am having a band and I am very excited.
I am excited to become the woman I use to see in the mirror instead of the monster I let myself become. I am no longer wanting to use food as my coping mechanism I want to be able to use it for fuel.
Today marks the first day of finding myself again and to stop mourning what I dont have and be grateful for what I do.
Thank you for reading.
So who am I and where do I start?
Typical Canadian girl growing up - skinny girl... then I hit about 14 years old and got a tummy seriously I looked slightly pregnant in fact the kids at school nick named me pot belly pig. Roll on high school where I did every diet and kept gaining and gaining... No period Doctor never did any checks just called me a late bloomer yet i find out I have PCOS Charming.
So I tried every diet.. I tried every cure pill ebay order you could imagine. I tried slicing my belly off me. Everything you could think about I tried it. (So when they say at the docs office ...."Have you tried a diet" I cry.
I got teased and made fun of I got a complex and so when I was an adult I got married to the first guy who would have me... he treated me badly so I left Canada moved to the UK and met my current husband.
He himself isn't emotional but he supports me... He makes the stupidest comments in life and maybe I am a bit touchy but things like "Girls your size dont wear jeans like that" Said loudly in a department store... He doesn't mean it in a bad way just comes out wrong.
After a long battle with PCOS and trying to conceive and failing I got funding for IVF.. we were successful first time and my LO was born 5 years ago.. 11lb and 2ft long. So All that weight still stays with me. It makes me sad. I cant have any more kids and often tell people "I made perfection no need to keep going".
So since being in the UK and struggling I managed to loose some weight but then I ended up having a double mastectomy - hysterectomy. I was grieving for the loss of my breasts my womb my womanly hood . Now starts the fun HRT - Change of life- more weight and comfort eating.
I am not afraid to say I eat to make myself feel better. I am a chef by trade (go figure) and I don't eat un healthy I eat in the wrong way. I will wake up at 2am think I can't sleep .... so I make a sandwich then say "that didn't work I have room for more got to fill that hole" and go make a sandwich, a salad, and some cheese.
I am ashamed to say im 19st 2lb and I am tired of feeling bullied, I am tired of mourning my losses in life .... I am just tired.
So today I have sent the email off to reserve my spot for november end of or first week in December. I am having a band and I am very excited.
I am excited to become the woman I use to see in the mirror instead of the monster I let myself become. I am no longer wanting to use food as my coping mechanism I want to be able to use it for fuel.
Today marks the first day of finding myself again and to stop mourning what I dont have and be grateful for what I do.
Thank you for reading.
