Tell or not tell?

[roxyroo]

So far ive only told 2 friends, my partner, mum and sister! I told my friends so I could get a different view on it, as my family were a bit negative! Both my friends were very supportive and every time I see them they ask how things are coming along!

Whoever you decide to tell or not to tell its your choice and you have your reasons behind it!

Good luck x

 

[slaz]

Thank you all for sharing your views. As expected there is a wide range of opinions and as has been said there is no right and wrong here, I guess what I was really asking is how difficult it is to keep it secret. I will find out!

 

[Samsara]

I think you could quite easily say you are determined to lose the weight this time/changed your eating habits for life and having smaller portions/not eating much will be ok in front of others. I'm guessing the problem may come if you are constantly dashing off to the loo in front of others if you need to bring something back up (if you have eaten too much or too fast or something has got stuck)? One way to get around that I suppose would be to make sure you are comfortable with what quantities you can eat and only then start eating around others again? The other thing that might give it away is the speed at which you eat and the chew chew chew thing? Do you go to a lot of dinner parties/eat out a lot? If it's just you and the wife eating in most of the time I would say you could probably keep it a secret. Others will probably comment on your sudden drastic weight loss and may even ask you if you have had a band - so be prepared for those questions too! x x

 

[slaz]

Thanks Samsara, we do eat out a lot which won't be a problem as there is usually just my wife and me but we do also do a lot of dinner parties which will be a bit more tricky. As with most people on here my friends are used to me going on diets so hopefully I'll get away with it! The obvious answer to some would be to stop eating out and going to dinner parties but that for me as a retired chef that would be a step too far!

 

[Samsara]

Thanks Samsara, we do eat out a lot which won't be a problem as there is usually just my wife and me but we do also do a lot of dinner parties which will be a bit more tricky. As with most people on here my friends are used to me going on diets so hopefully I'll get away with it! The obvious answer to some would be to stop eating out and going to dinner parties but that for me as a retired chef that would be a step too far!

You will just have to say to any friends (if they are cheeky enough to ask!) that you have now realised the secret to staying slim is to reduce portion sizes, eat slowly and savour every mouthful!

 

[BigDee's now little]

You will just have to say to any friends (if they are cheeky enough to ask!) that you have now realised the secret to staying slim is to reduce portion sizes, eat slowly and savour every mouthful!

I agree and if anyone asks me about weight loss I will just say I have made an effort to eat much slower so I feel satisfied from smaller meals and that I am now making healthier food choices and I am seeing how it works for me..... and it obviously is as I am losing weight lol x

 

[tealovingsleever]

Easy! I go out for meals with some good girl friends and they haven't twigged. I am good at picking the right food and pushing it around my plate when I need to

My best friend at work I had to tell because she would have twigged something was up when I was on purée and soft food!

 

[gonnabethinner]

You could say you are doing Paul mckenna. He insists you eat small meals and very slowly If things get a bit tricky say that.

 

[Wobbly71]

I think you could easy get away with the going out for meals and dinner parties.

I personally have never had as good a social life as I do now. Regular meals out and it feels good not to clear the plate and feel sluggish afterwards.

I have never been sick or had any bad side effects (fingers crossed).

It is up to you who you tell but don't think everyone will guess. I have just said to people I am eating from a smaller plate to reduce calories but still eating what I want. No-one would know. I sit and eat dinner at work every day and they don't know.

 

[slaz]

Thanks Wobbly, You are really doing well, keep it up. I have definitely decided to keep it between myself and my wife and it sounds as though you are doing it very successfully.

 

[Butterfly38]

Hi slaz, at first i didn't want to tell a soul but now.... I'm proud of myself for going though with this i dont care who knows....I dare say any of us go through with this lightly....... And remember this ... Those that mind don't matter..... And those that matter don't mind x good luck x

 

[slaz]

Secret banding Monday 18th March

Thanks to all your replies whether to tell anyone or not about surgery I made the decision not to tell anyone other than my wife. Started the pre op diet 29th January as I was scheduled for surgery 12th Feb. however due to illness had to postpone. I stayed on the pre op diet and have now lost 29 lb. Have been today for pre op assessment and scheduled for my band Monday afternoon. I haven't posted a lot but like many people have read all the threads on here, so thank you to everyone for the inspiration and solid information.Looking forward to being a member of the band.

 

[top_kat]

Good luck and hope all goes well! My band was a secret too, my son and my aunt know. Over 6 months later, they are still the only ones to know despite having lost now almost 7 1/2 stone

 

[flutterby1966]

Best of luck with your op. I am a big mouth who couldn't keep mine a secret!

 

[Carre]

I'm also a secret bander, I found it hard enough to deal with my own issues without negative people judging me... My family know and 3 friends.....

I wish you all the best x

 

[pollybree]

I have told everyone who will listen because I can not contain my excitement, I just hope nothing goes wrong with my NHS funding, I will be devasted, good luck to you x

 

[Ines4C]

Same here, can't contain my excitement. My mum actually told me off for putting it on Facebook. Long. All well, guess it's up to me who finds out.

 

[Crazy Lady]

Hi Slaz
I fully understand you not telling anyone other than your wife. I have only told 3 people besides my GP. None of my family, apart from my partner, or close friends are aware which has been a bit difficult when eating out socially but everyone thinks I had my hiatus hernia repaired, which I did at the same time, and this is why I can only eat small amounts.
My family would be very judgemental and since I have lost weight one of my close friends has been very 'off hand' with me making comments about isn't it time I put some weight back on. This is from someone who is a size 12 and has never dieted!!
As a job I work as a nurse for detainees in police custody and was recently asked to assess a detainee with a band as they were refusing to eat and and was horrified by the judgemental comments made by police officers and custody staff. I was so pleased I had never made the people I work with on daily basis aware of my band.
Anyway, enough about me. You only have to wait another 2 days now. Really really good luck with your surgery and your future weight loss journey.
I will be thinking of you on Monday.

 

[slaz]

Hi Crazy Lady, Thank you for your good wishes. I am retired and therefore have no issues with work colleagues but I do live in a small village where people don't have enough to do so spend much of their time gossiping, and like the newspapers gossips usually look for the bad things to say rather than the good. I have no wish to be their subject.
Good luck on reaching your goal. x

 

[shelleymarie]

Good luck to you, I respect keeping your secret. I only told people who I can trust and work colleagues - I had to tell them as it's obvious you don't lose 11 and half stone in 9 months with out some help. Everyone respects my choice, that I know of but I live in a small neighbourhood also and I wouldn't tell my neighbours, or clients at work etc. If asked I just say hard work - which isn't a lie. It will be very hard work. Wishing you every success x