Wanno's diary

[Wanno]

Hello all
I've recently discovered this forum and have enjoyed reading a few posts here and there. You seem a friendly bunch and I would love to be another success story. So, I'm starting my own diary to help be more accountable, see this as a longer journey, and to chart the inevitable ups and downs of trying to lose quite a bit of weight.

Background:
Banded on 21 April 15 and I have had my first fill this week. I started off as 16 stone 8 and I'm currently at 15 stone 6 this morning. I'm teetering on 18/16 clothes mark. I have never been lighter that 12 stone 11 so I have a goal of being in the 11s. I've always weighed heavier than I looked so I'm more interested in clothes sizes. A comfortable size 12/14 would be in my dreams.

It's a secret band and only my dear friend knows about it. No family or any other friends. I know she will crop up throughout the life of this diary so it only seems fair to introduce her as well. I'm single, started a new job the week before I was banded (that was interesting!) so I'm still adjusting to new routine and new job surroundings.

I have another fill booked for 10 July. I can already tell I don't have much restriction from the first band fill so I'm hoping I can stave off any gains or crazy behaviour until I feel like it has actually started working. It doesn't quite feel like I have actually started the journey yet - certainly near to the date of the first fill I when I started gaining weight I felt like a total failure and started eating the way I used to (nothing all day then binge all evening). Hopefully even a slight bit of restriction will help remind me to treat myself respectfully and stick to the goal. I haven't got the chewing slowly, waiting, or stopping after 20 minutes down at all, mainly because I haven't had to. I must start getting these habits otherwise I won't achieve a thing.

So, onwards and downwards! I joined the gym this week and I have a pedometer which I constantly try to outdo so hopefully this will go some way to combatting head hunger, habits and harassment (family events and social engagements to eat). Your help and encouragement will be so appreciated!

 

[Caroline jess]

Congrats and welcome, I'm sure that you will very successful xx

 

[Monalisa]

Hello and welcome I too only told one very close friend although my family eventually twigged and when they asked me outright I couldn't lie good luck and to this day it's a secret that's hard to keep and it has formed a web of lies along the way which can be hard to deal with x

 

[siana58]

Hello and welcome I too only told one very close friend although my family eventually twigged and when they asked me outright I couldn't lie good luck and to this day it's a secret that's hard to keep and it has formed a web of lies along the way which can be hard to deal with x

I've only told immediate family, my hairdresser and my personal trainer. Figured it was nobody else's business and didn't want to have to face questions/negativity. I thought it would be easy, but I had some complications post op and had to stay in hospital for a few days. I just told people I didn't want to talk about my health, and now apparently one friend is worried I have something horrible wrong with me! I may have to revise my decision and come clean, but in all honesty I'm dreading it

 

[Wanno]

I'm not sure if I just don't picture anyone actually asking me. Perhaps it's because I don't really think I'm going to lose that much weight, or that I have alway been this size, give or take a slimmer or bulbous version of that.

My sister had a bypass last year and is now half the lady - it's now pretty obvious to others that she'd had something done. She was very immobile and obviously had a longer op and recovery period so people knew she had a operation. It still feels a bit dishonest of her that she makes out that she had an operation to fix a health problem which was causing her to be fat (ie like a tumour), when she didn't - she had a bypass. I'm very happy for her as it has really turned her life of being quite disabled into one with a boyfriend and better feeling about herself. (Oh the psychology connected to an overbearing sister! My second post and big issues are raised already)
We as a family knew because it was quite a big deal, but I'm not so keen that they know about my op. It feels very personal to me. I'm wondering if I will change my mind if I actually do lose any substantial weight.

Speaking of which, clearly the band does not restrict how many biscuits I can pack away. Last night I had a bit of a binge and now feel like I'm very far away from anyone twigging.

I'm going to try to have a weekend of being very good and get back in the zone.

 

[los in it]

Hello newbie, your already a sucess just by finding us and sharing your story .I look forward to seeing your next post

 

[sharon2014]

Welcome!!!!! I'm a fellow bander and wish you all the success in your journey!!!

 

[Crystalrainbow]

hi sweetheart and welcome to a fab friendly site am too a fellow bander I told everyone...unless its someone i'm never to meet again.... although even they sometimes get the low down lol I guess i'm just god dam proud and want to tell the world Darling we all have the psychological stuff .... I always say its not about food or our tummy's its all in the mind lol its about recognising it and putting in coping strategies as you already have discovered the band won't stop the naughty binges !! try not to push it so soon hunni...... the honeymoon period is when you will shift the biggest bit...... i'm 16 months out and band still empty lol I have shifted 9 st since banding (11 1/2 stone since my heaviest) only just now discovering just how much I can tuck away on a head binge stick to the rules for now and hang in there x x x x x all the best and loads of luck .....welcome again

 

[westiedog]

Welcome. I am a fellow bander too x

 

[emmahc1975]

Hi & welcome from another bander. Sounds like you've made a great start

 

[Wanno]

Well, weigh in this morning is ... +2 pounds.
It's been a week of opposites. Some days I am virtuous with supremely healthy small choices and plenty of exercise. Others I am the devil. It's seems I am better at the beginning week when there is a challenge for the end of the week. But then I get tired and hungry and revert back to sabotaging behaviour.

Onwards and, well upwards this week. Reset. Try to be good today and then take it from there.

 

[Crystalrainbow]

one day at a time sweetheart..... one small step...... -2 a week can have 4 stone off by Christmas..... try making some nice goals to head towards or we do end up flailing in the wind a bit get involved too .....jump into threads and our diary's...join the banded crowd, we will all help carry you along too a great bunch of nutters here LOL

Put that wee gain behind you....forwards..... onwards and downwards ...... focus on a nice goal and go for it x x x x x x this weight loss lark is all in the mind, kick that head demon into touch !!!! a few losses will have him packing I promise

 

[Wanno]

Well, I weighed myself this Friday as usual and it is... +1.
Another gain.

Admittedly I had been out to eat quite late after the theatre (5 pieces of sushi and some edamame) so perhaps it hadn't really found its place.
I do really have to get in the zone now because I am just acting as though there is nothing there just because I can't really feel anything.

I think I will go to the supermarket with a plan this time. Plan out my meals for the week so that my usual trick of nipping to the supermarket on the way home to buy dinner won't result in over eating. I can then look forward to some healthy meals and plan in the gym activity as well.

As for today, one day at a time so I might as well start this morning - walk to the supermarket (take about 45mins) and back. Maybe take another walking trip to visit a local oriental supermarket which I have been yearning to try for ages.

Perhaps I will post my plan on here later. Need to get back focused and try shift some of the pounds I have put on before my next fill. And fingers crossed the restriction might make an appearance at the next fill.

 

[Wanno]

I totally forgot to thank my replies so far. Thank you all for responding and wishing me well. Wise words from all of you. And total sense.

As for goals - I'll have a think and starting posting regularly. Got to get my head in the game.

Wanno!

 

[Wanno]

A focused day.

Shake in the morning
Salmon and watercress for lunch
Bean soup which I made a big vat of for lunches throughout the week
Yoghurt - not low fat, in fact a bit naughty but my was it tastey.
Handful of jelly babies at the cinema (was going to withhold that information but must be accountable!)

Loads of walking today. I've stocked up with meals for the week. Ones I would look forward to and chocolate in the form of low calorie mouses/yogurts. (In an attempt to ween off the sweet tooth chocolate cravings.) Cold turkey on that particular habit is one denial too much.
No gym tomorrow evening as I have plans but I am hoping to walk a couple of miles to work to get in some exercise. The rest of the week is trying wherever possible to gym or walk distances.

In terms of goals: get in the 14s by the end of July. That's 9lbs which I think is completely doable especially as there is a fill in the middle of it as well. I was down to 15,4 only 2 weeks ago so I'm focussed on surpassing that.
The 14s represents the weight I was last year. I put on 3 stone very quickly and tipping into 14 stone always used to be the number I kicked myself into gear to lose some weight and stay in the stone below (rarely left that stone as by then the willpower would be on its last legs). 14s means I might recognise my body, although it would be very nice if it was the lower 14s and the tipping point before.

A smaller goal,is to attend a circuits class and work on toning my stomach which really accentuates my out of shapedness. I'm not used to having a tyre so I'd like to be rid as soon as possible please.

I'm going to bed not in any way stuffed, which is the usual state. I look forward to waking up with a morning stomach not bloated from evening excess.

Bring on this week!

 

[sharon2014]

Good luck this week!!!!

 

[Wanno]

So I think I've been quite virtuous this week. Way too hot to do any serious cardio exercise other than the walking which I have been keeping up. I did do one very sweaty session in the gym so I am predicting a loss tomorrow!

Fill is next week and I'm really hoping I will begin to feel an effect. I feel so far away from the idea of a gastric band that I've almost forgotten I have it. My friend was hoping for some hand me downs and she enquires how I feel after a meal only for me to quizzically look at her and then remember she is referring to my band. I'm reminded when I take my clothes off just because of the scars but apart from that there is no alternative feeling when eating. Hopefully, fingers crossed I will be moving in the right direction after the fill.


Anyway. As I said, virtuous but actually a very hungry week. It hasn't been all good, but then I don't think I would want a diet where I have to be so restrained and never eat a tiny piece of cake again etc...Not always head hunger this week either. Genuinely growly stomach hunger.

Anyway - cross your fingers for tomorrow and hope that scale says a minus!

 

[sharon2014]

Good luck for weigh day tomorrow!!!! Xx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

lol good luck chuckling at your diary lol snap I like my cake x x x

 

[Wanno]

Well update from me.

I've had a fill and ... I can feel some restriction! Hurrah. Not a great deal but enough to make me think before wolfing something down. Long may it continue.
I went for my fill and it turns out I had lost 5lbs since my last fill. Not entirely sure what I am at the moment as I'm away from the bathroom scales in another location. Was quite a pleasant surprise that I had lost anything.

So, feeling positive. I'm now attempting to try on some garments in my wardrobe that had hung taunting me and although still too tight they are only by an inch or so before they will hang nicely.
I've had a couple of days off work this week and had a little holiday which left me unsettled (in a positive, I should be doing more) type mood. I quite like those moods as they usually follow by some action. I bought some better walking/commuting shoes (ones I can walk in that go with work clothes -not a fan of the dress and trainers look) so I'm really looking forward to stepping, literally, up the walking to work element.

This week, as I am back at work tomorrow will see me go to the gym at least once and continue with the walking. I'll post the updated weight probably Thursday now.

I'm hoping for a good loss in the next couples of weeks - lets get into the 14s soon! Then the next goal!