I HATE WHEN PEOPLE....

[SkinnyWannabe]

I though i would start a new thread just to express my self and tell the world how much i hate when people tell me "how pretty i am, and i how much prettier i would look if i was to lose weight"

I mean.. i appreciate the whole "you are so pretty" thing but is the second part that just pisses me off!!! i mean, this kind of comment just make my self-esteeem go lower and makes me feel a bit angry (well a more than a bit... to be honest) its hard enough to live in a world where skinny is pretty and fat is not.. and to be honest i agree with it, i mean.. if i didnt i would be getting surgery right? but i just hate the fact that people feels like they HAVE to remind you how big you are intead of reminding you other things... like being a good person or just having a good heart.

I dont know if its just me that feels that way, in a way i hope so... because i dont like the feeling of it, so i wouldn't want anyone to feel the same way, but on the other hand i feel like i need somebody rising a hand and say YEH! I feel that way too! and i flippin hate it too!

Oh! and if theres anything else that you guys hate... just say it! Please

 

[phatgirl]

I am with you, I have gotten that all my life. My favorite one is, 'I love your self-confidence, you seem to really love who you are. You are an inspiration to me because I have had a weight problem my whole life and it has made me have bad self-esteem. It doesn't seem to bother you'

Would you believe I have heard this many times from different women (many by my standards did not seem the least bit fat to me) and it always amazes me. The assumption that my weight doesn't matter to me and that it is astounding to them that I don't feel bad about being fat. What kinda back-handed compliment is that???

Anyho - I am with you. Pretty is pretty, regardless of size. Confident is confident regardless of their shock that I have it!!!

 

[tesmaralda]

i totally know where your coming from its the same as the skinny not a pick on us women who say i know what you mean look at the size of my stomach i need to loose a couple of stone and there is nothing their in fact my 2 year old belly is bigger, dont they realise how paronising it is, we may be jolly on the outside but the feelings are just there under the surface and probably a lot rawer than most as we hide them so well

 

[SkinnyWannabe]

THANK YOU!!!

I think that way too.. i mean you dont need to be a stick to be pretty... i love people for who they are, and not for the way they look.

I personally believe that people comes in different shapes and sizes, but that should not stop us from trying to get to know whats inside. I am getting surgery not only because i want to look better but also i want to feel better, in every single way!

Gosh this feels so much better! i would hug every single person on this forum!

 

[SkinnyWannabe]

My sister inlaw once said sorry to me because she called someone else fat in front of me... may be she didnt mean it in that way, but i felt offended, not because she was calling someone else fat.. it was the whole "oh.. im so sorry" issue.

When everybody left, i told her.. that not because i was there means that she needs to whatch her mouth and not say anything related to fat people or something... but i still get the comments :S and i do get paranoid when people start talking about Britain getting fatter and stuff like that, because it always seems to me that im the only fatty in the room :S

 

[wobbles]

What REALLY pisses me off is the government and media going on about how the population is getting fatter and fatter and that obesity is a problem becoming more common among children, and the drain on society we fatties are. Yet go to the supermarket, and it takes 3 times longer to do the shopping, it costs you twice as much, as there is such a small range of low fat low sugar, healthy food. If they were to put all the 'diet' food in one section, they'd barely be able to fill an isle. Why aren't they promoting and encouraging companies to make and sell healthier food? And why is it so damn expensive??

What i also hate is narrow minded ignorant people who think that all fat people are just lazy slobs who sit around all day stuffing their faces. When in reality, a large nu,ber of obese people actually have an addiction to food, an illness and need medical help rather than ridicule, discrimination, and humiliation.

Which leads me to discrimination. It is still acceptable to discriminate against overweight/obese people. I have been the person who has missed out on that perfect job behind someone not as qualified as me, but who is skinnier and better looking. I have had people in clothes shop refuse to serve me, people yelling abuse from busses and cars, from children on their way home from school, from men in bars, from women in groups, from family members the list goes on. Why is it still acceptable? If i was to make as many 'jokes' about black people as has been made about me, i'd have been arrested many many times, same goes for people with a disability.

People seem to have sympathy for people with bulemia and anorexia, who have problems with food and body image. Yet people who have problems with food and are addicted resulted in them being obese, get ridicule, humiliation, discrimination, abused, rejected etc etc.

I could go on.

 

[SkinnyWannabe]

Wobbles!! That i so true! scary and sad, but sooooo true!

 

[phatgirl]

Yes, Erin you are right. It is deemed 'okay' to be rude to fat people because in many minds, obesity is something preventable. Like 'if you just make an effort, you won't be fat so why do we have to be sensitive?'

However, it is a disease just like any other, there is treatment (diets, exercise, surgery) but not everyone responds to treatment. People would not make fun of someone with diatbetes, which by the way is often controlled with *diet* & lifestyle (code for exercise). And that does not even get to the point you were making about the emotional impact/addiction aspects of obesity.

So you are 100% right, people are taught to feel shame for obesity and people are encouraged to look at the fat as people who won't help themselves. If you think about it, it is kinda like people who look down on the poorest people in society and say 'why won't you help yourself!'

Truly it is sad. More and more people are becoming obese due to eating habits, passed down genetics and the cost of living (yes, in today's world it is cheaper for a family of 4 to eat junk food than the healthy alternative). So this group of people that suffer at the hands of an unfair & unkind attitude towards fatness grows bigger by the day. What was once a minority will soon be the majority and how will it feel then???

 

[mandy-1975]

Here here Erin WELL SAID AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY

 

[tesmaralda]

isn't it wierd how we alll feel the same but pick different ones that really piss us off, we go along thinking we are the only ones feeling like this and shut ourselves off into our own little boxes when really the world is full of people just like us

 

[bridiegeorge]

Oh yes... i hate the " you have a really pretty face" (they dont actually say shame about the body) and the "you have a great personality" " youre so funny" and my best friends husband once asked me what it felt like to be so big. luckily being so funny... he didnt mind to much when i replied "pretty much the same as you feel being so stupid" i am very self conscious and these idiots dont help do they.

 

[weight loss hopeful]

Everyone here speaks such sense, wish I'd found you lot sooner. I hate the your so pretty and would be even prettier if you lost weight comments, a lot of well meaning family members use too!! They dont seem to get how upsetting this is to me. Its like saying "IM THIN AND YOUR NOT". How cruel can people be? Its fab loosing weight and sticking a virtual two fingers up at them, as they are forced to say you have lost weight. The govt does not help the situation I agree!! x

 

[wobbles]

Oh yes... i hate the " you have a really pretty face" (they dont actually say shame about the body) and the "you have a great personality" " youre so funny" and my best friends husband once asked me what it felt like to be so big. luckily being so funny... he didnt mind to much when i replied "pretty much the same as you feel being so stupid" i am very self conscious and these idiots dont help do they.

That's hilarious, i just cacked myself laughing, well done!!:8855:

 

[hopelesscase]

My come back on a couple of occasions has been yeh i may be fat but you will always be ugly both inside and out.
small narrow minded people dont get in my goos books.
hc

 

[wobbles]

I was always told to say 'Yes i might be fat, but you're ugly and i can always lose weight'. Similar to yours HC.

 

[weight loss hopeful]

I usually use that 1 too. sticks and stones eh? x

 

[Brunetteandred]

I got told by a chap once 'You know, you'd be really pretty and worth dating if you were 10 stone lighter.'

I was astonished not least because he had a face like a box of frogs and teeth like a row of decaying tombstones. I was married and had two beautiful daughters at the time (still have the daughters, sadly not the marriage!).

Still, fat people don't have any feelings do they? So you can say what you like to them.

 

[shelbell]

the ugly/fat line is an ammendment to a Winston Churchill quote which I love 'Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly and in the morning I shall be sober'

 

[Lyn8124]

Wobbles for PM, woop woop! I agreed with every word, 'fattism' really is the last allowable prejudice.

 

[grom]

Way to go ladies!!
We may have big bodies but we also have big hearts to go with them - not to mention wit, intelligence, compassion and BIG PERSONALITIES!! (Skinny girls don't seem to have them!!)