Hello all, I thought it might be the right time to take up my own little space on here, a space where i can come to for support, advice, help, to cry, to moan and to shout from the roof tops with happiness whichever the case may be lol.
My name is Sugga as you are all aware and thats the name i will be known as, but for those who know my other name then that is fine too.
I joined this site in June i think it was and i just stumbled across it whilst doing some research about weight loss surgery. That was a lucky day for me as iv barely missed a day since joining.
I have been over weight all my life and went on to have 4 beautiful children in spite of this...........i am truly blessed. Life hasnt been kind to me at all to be honest and even though i regularly get told that i am such a strong person and that i deserve a medal it means nothing.
I have been strong not because iv wanted to be but because i have had to be.
I am envious of anyone who does not have to be strong........... of anyone who has someone to take over when the going gets tough.............. and envious of anyone who has a shoulder to cry on............. when the times are so lonely that i only have God above as my friend and saviour.
I agree i am a strong person.
I am incredibly independant and manage amazingly in my life and i know that i am the envy of others who are weak and are dependable on others, i get told that all the time, but it doesnt make it all right though.
I ended my marriage in 2005 which resulted in me crumbling and crawling into a big hole where i stayed for a long time. The effects and events will stay with me for a lifetime i think, but i have faith or i would not be here today. I am completely over it now.
I was offered the option of wls during a visit to my doctor way back in January and to be honest i was gob smacked that she even mentioned it.
I went home to think about it and found an excitement that stayed with me all evening.
Two days later i went back and told the doc to refer me for wls i was elated.
Well here i am waiting for surgery on the 6th January.
Im strong but weak in a sense, if you know what i mean, because i worry all the time which is a result of stress and life. The past 5 years has taken its toll and when depression sets in and you feel so alone that you dont want to step a foot outside your front door then the weakness shows.
I am looking so forward for my surgery, in fact i am actually craving this new life that i am so fortunate to have been given.
Thank you God.
Everyone on here is amazing, and i thank you all for your time, your support and for being my friends xxxx