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Tell or not tell?

slaz

slaz

Member
I am considering banding in the next month or two. My dilemma is whether to tell anyone (apart from my wife) or to keep it secret. I would prefer not to tell anyone but can foresee all sorts of difficulties. What did you all do?
 
My family knows and a few selected friends know .
 
Hi there! My husband is the only person that knows I will be having the gastric sleeve. I foresee tons of judgement and difficulties in my future. :/
 
Welcome to the forum :)

I've only told 5 people and they are family. I'm a private person anyway and don't really discuss my life even to close friends so telling people would be out of the ordinary for me. I don't plan on telling anyone else and if asked how I'm losing weight I will say I'm eating healthy and exercising which will be the truth
 
I told every friend and family member. I don't tell strangers, not because I'm ashamed as because a lot of questions come. They still do with friends and colleagues which I don't mind, but when you are trying to get get stuff done it can be a bit much. Decide who you trust to start with and as the weight comes off you might find you want to tell more people :) x
 
I told everyone, but at the end of the day it's a personal choice and up to you. I've had nothing but support from everyone. I think if anyone wants to be funny about it, it's their problem not yours :)
 
I am pre-op. I think I would tell only those people I felt needed to know. At the moment I have told my Mum and a handful of close friends who I trust and are supportive. I didn't want work to know but, unfortunately, my GP wrote "bariatric assessment" on my sick note recently (I was signed off for a condition which is considered a co-morbidity under some PCTs) which I was not happy about. People gossip at work so I'm sure it will already be doing the rounds which totally pees me off!

Also it depends on how often you eat out with and around others and whether you have to start justifying your new eating behaviours and if you will have to start dashing off to the loo if you've eaten too much/too fast...
 
At the start of my journey I did not want any one to know (apart from hubby of course) that I was under assessment for WLS. I too am a private person but if I am honest I think I felt like this because I did not want to be thought of as weak or to be seen as taking the easy way out ... However I came to realise that when it came down to it this was going to be incredibly difficult to hide especially as we are a close knit family. So I chose to tell only immediate family and my two closest friends with whom I trust wholeheartedly. I felt much better once I did as they have been extremely supportive. My friends where actually relieved that I was finally tackling my weight as they could see what a toll it had taken. x
 
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I have told everyone and anyone!! No one has been negative to my face and to be honest I don't care it's my life and I want to continue to live it and not die soon. I was told I wouldn't live beyond 24 by a friendly gp due to my weight I am now 46 so think I am pushing it slightly.

There again I tell everyone anything I know I'm strange but my argument is when I become rich there will be no kiss and tell stories as everything is already out there!!
 
Hey! My mum knew (she offered to pay for it-lucky me!) and i was SO SO SO SO worried about telling my sister...i came on here for advice and really was so worried because we had had a discussion about it and she had said that she thought weightloss surgery was stupid. anyway one night we went out and got drunk and i told her and she has been nothing but supportive! i think you can never forsee how people will react. good luck with what ever you decide x
 
Hi slaz
I was like you but in the end decided to only tell my family who are very supportive my youngest daughter attends all sessions with me bless her iv not told my best friend as i dont feel the need to at the moment not sure if she will be hurt by not saying anything il cross that bridge when the time comes as when iv told her iv lost weight pre-op this is she says she has lost double and it upsets me .... Its nice to share with someone that will support you through this big change in your life best of luck x
 
littledeviljan said:
Hi slaz
I was like you but in the end decided to only tell my family who are very supportive my youngest daughter attends all sessions with me bless her iv not told my best friend as i dont feel the need to at the moment not sure if she will be hurt by not saying anything il cross that bridge when the time comes as when iv told her iv lost weight pre-op this is she says she has lost double and it upsets me .... Its nice to share with someone that will support you through this big change in your life best of luck x
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Have you had your op yet? Your friend won't be able to say she has lost double your weight when you finally get to goal! If she does it means she won't exist anymore?! :D Why are people and so called "friends" so mean spirited :confused: :mad: x x
 
Samsara said:
Have you had your op yet? Your friend won't be able to say she has lost double your weight when you finally get to goal! If she does it means she won't exist anymore?! :D Why are people and so called "friends" so mean spirited :confused: :mad: x x
Click to expand...

Not had op seeing surgeon on 8 feb ..... I know what you mean but we have grown up together which makes it hard :sigh:
 
I told my very close family, my bosses at work (cos of the time off needed) and a very few close friends. But it's what you feel comfortable with. Good luck. Xxxx
 
I decided to be open about it. I lost 8 stone through healthy eating and exercise then had a fall at work. No exercise = 4 stone back on!
No one commented about the weight gain :) it was obvious I was struggling so when I announced I was having WLS there was nothing but support offered.
Surgery was not an easy option, numerous people have told me how proud they are that I have been brave and done it? I did expect a few sly remarks! ;)
 
I have told everyone, people find the thought generally interesting and I havent had any negative feedback (to my face that is!)
I cant keep my mouth shut though.... :(
 
borogirl said:
I have told everyone, people find the thought generally interesting and I havent had any negative feedback (to my face that is!)
I cant keep my mouth shut though.... :(
Click to expand...

Snap I can't keep my mouth shut either!?!
 
Obviously I have told my husband and he is coming staying with me in Prgue while I have my op. I've told my son and my mum but not yet told my mum the daye as my dad has recently had heart surgery and I feel she has enough on her plate. I told my friend in UK who is my inspiration for haveing wls as she had a sleeve back in july and has so far lost 6 stones. Then lastly I have told my 2 closest friends here as we do zumba 2 or 3 times a week and won't be able to go for a few weeks and hated the thought of making excuses to them lol; plus one of them is taking us to the train station and picking us up. I have no intention of telling anyone else; I will just say I am eating healthier smaller portions and increasing my activity. Oh, not even told my GP yet, but will as need to go thru him for stitches to be removed.
 
I just told 2 friends and my immediate family. I didn't want to have to justify myself to other people and to be honest I was a bit embarrassed if had to resort to surgery. I knew skinny people wouldn't understand it's a life long battle.
 
slaz said:
I am considering banding in the next month or two. My dilemma is whether to tell anyone (apart from my wife) or to keep it secret. I would prefer not to tell anyone but can foresee all sorts of difficulties. What did you all do?
Click to expand...

I too have told all my family and close friends.
Everyone was supportive and if they weren't, frankly I'd rather know so I can cut them out of my life. I chose surgery because I want to improve my health and live my best life. A lot of my family and friends are also overweight or obese so I think they can relate up to a point.

But is is a very personal decison and there is no right or wrong here.
 
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