The not-so-secret diary of Mel B - Aged 39 and three quarters.

[mellyb28]

Thanks TB!
I have joined Rosemary Conley online today and going to do her 'inch loss plan' as there are options within that one for higher protein/lower carbs which works best for me. Going to spend some time reading up on it now so that I can do my food shop around it. I think that by following a 'plan' it will help me stay focussed. (fingers crossed anyway!)

 

[mellyb28]

Morning all. I'm very pleased to announce that I've finally managed to reach 3 stone lost!! This last stone has taken an age to come off but that's down to me really. I've still got to lose at least the same again,plus a little bit more but I've never managed to lose this much weight before so it feels like a nice little milestone. I think I'm going to get hubby to take a couple of pictures later so I can post a 'before' and 'now' shot just to keep me motivated.
I've decided to book my second fill for hopefully next week so that I can really spur myself on for the next part of my journey. Following the Rosemary Conley diet is helping me too. Basically it's just calorie counting and making sure that everything is under 5% fat, but it seems to keep me on track although a fill will definitely help.
The only area that I am really struggling with is exercise but as the weather is pants here today I'm going to go to the gym later. My job can be quite stressful at times so when I get home in the evenings the last thing I want to do is some exercise because I'm so tired. However it's more of a mental tiredness than a physical one so I'm hoping that if I force myself to go to the gym then the endorphins or whatever they are may actually help me deal with the stress of work.
I know I'm losing the weight slowly compared to some (3 stone in 6 months) but I also know we're all different and I'm pleased with my progress. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the weight I am today without my band!
Will update with pictures later hopefully.

 

[mellyb28]

Well as promised, I am attempting to attach 2 photos to my page showing me pre-op (Christmas 2010) and today. Hopefully it will work!

 

[mellyb28]

Well I didn't get to the gym but I did acheive an exercise milestone that I wanted to record on here instead. In November last year I attended a seminar in London and got the train to and from my local train station. When I got back to the train station at about 4pm there were no taxis and no chance of a lift or anything so I thought I'd walk it. It was a freezing cold day and I was wearing a suit, heavy winter coat and carrying a briefcase. The distance to my house from the station is around 1.6 miles and it's mainly uphill. I knew it would be tough but thought as long as I took my time it would be fine. Anyway, after walking for around 10 minutes or so uphill I became painfully aware of how unfit I was! I had to keep stopping at benches, bus stops (there were of course no buses!), people's walls and all sorts. At one point I rung my husband who was at work and I was practically crying as I felt so bad! Anyway, it took me an hour to do that walk what with all the stopping and starting and the phoning and the crying. When I got in I felt like I had run a marathon. It was really a turning point for me in deciding to go for the band as I knew I couldn't carry on like this.
Anyway, 6 months almost to the day that I had the band fitted I got my husband to drop me off at the station in the car so that I could walk home. I managed to do it all in one go with no stopping or crying necessary! I just kept going and going, even though I could really feel it in my legs (it really is very steep in places!) and best of all when I got home I realised I had done it in 30 minutes! I'm feeling very proud of myself right now. Even though the weight loss hasn't been that fast and I still have some way to go I really feel like I've acheived something. I've also now got a time to beat for when I decide to do it again, maybe when I get to a four stone loss?!
I just wanted to get it down in my diary so that if I have my off days in the future I can look back at this and say to myself "well down girl, you did good".
Thanks for listening xx

 

[Tray3004]

Well done mel that's a great achivement ur doing great keep it up

 

[mellyb28]

I've eaten too much over the last couple of weeks and a few pounds have crept back on! Booked myself in for my second fill which I'm off to this morning, keeping my fingers crossed that this gives me some decent restriction so some proper weight can start coming off again!

 

[MrsPill]

Good luck with your fill.
I've just read your diary and its a good read
I could empathise with a lot you say particularly about not having close friends around you and not having anyone to talk to about band stuff. Its quite hard isn't it to get used to it all.
You mentioned at one point about finding out what your triggers were...did you think about this? Mine are being tired because of my job or just generally and also I have a need to reward myself at weekends...almost as a reward for getting through the week at work! I do love my job but its very demanding and I can't give it up or reduce my hours because I'm the main breadwinner. Not easy sometimes.
Anyway, good luck with your fill.xx

 

[mellyb28]

Mrs P, you sound just like me! I love my job too (most of the time) but it can be quite stressful and demanding at times & I frequently come home mentally exhausted. That's certainly one of my trigger times! Also at times I just feel really lonely and sorry for myself so I want to turn to my old faithful friend, food! It's been a learning experience to work out alternative strategies for dealing with these moments and I'm not always successful! I'm hoping that as the weight comes off I'll become more confident about getting out and about and meeting people.

How are you getting on?

My fill today went well, had another 2.5 mls put in so now have 5.5 mls in total. It definitely feels tighter but liquids are going down okay. I've not lost any proper weight for ages so I'm hoping this will help.
Thanks for reading x

 

[MrsPill]

Good luck with your fill. My first one is booked for 30th August but I have quite good restriction still because I'm only on week 3. On sloppy food for 2 weeks but I'm not coping well yet. I'm still very uncertain how its all meant to feel ie. when am I full. I'm still quite scared of my band but I guess its because I'm not confident about it. I really don't want anything to get stuck. In fact, I need to get back to work next week because I'm sick of over-analysing everything. I just want to feel normal again!

 

[mellyb28]

I am the world's greatest over-analyser! Don't worry Mrs P as you get used to the band it will become second nature. X

 

[mellyb28]

Well, it's been an absolute age since I last updated my diary so I thought I ought to do so! I am really struggling at the moment. I'm off work today as I'm not well but really it's down to stress. Work has been a nightmare for the last few months and it's starting to take its toll on me. I haven't lost any 'proper' weight in ages and by that I mean that I'll lose a pound one week, gain it back the next, lose half a pound and so on. I need to remotivate myself to carry on with this journey but when I'm down in the dumps I self medicate with food. Having a band doesn't prevent this unfortunately.
Anyway, enough of the morose ramblings, I came on here to give myself the kick up the a**e that I needed! This site is full of some many positive stories that I feel I am letting the side down by struggling as much as I have been so that's all about to change.
I have just booked a shopping delivery for tomorrow and it will be full of delicious healthy foods and I'm going to make the following commitment to myself:
1) I will eat delicious healthy foods averaging around 1200 calories per day. This does not include cakes, biscuits or chocolate!
2) Even though it's difficult for me to eat in the morning, I will make sure that I have breakfast every day (even if it's later in the morning). Porridge seems to be easier to eat so I will have that.
3) I will make a commitment to do some form of exercise at least 3 times per week. (even if I've had a bad day at work!)
4) I will tell myself repeatedly that I am worth the effort and that I don't deserve to feel bad.

and that's it really. I knew that by writing it down it would help me refocus on what it is I need to do and now reading it back I realise that it's not exactly rocket science!
I've probably left it too late for this Saturday's weigh in but I'm aiming to have a good one the week after! If anyone has got this far in reading my diary I'm sorry it's not a bit more of an interesting read but I do find it useful from time to time to get things down 'on paper' as it were to help clear things up in my mind.
Onwards and downwards now please! x

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Oh I'm so the same, I have to write things down and list what I'll do.
So many times I've found scrumpled up paper saying things like -walk for at least 40 mins every day, eat only beg and fish at dinner, hang up pair of size 16s and fit into them by x date!
On here is so good though because every one is in the same boat and so much advice and motivation. I'm waiting for a band/bypass, consultation next week but I've gotten so much inspiration from Skymoon1981 YouTube channel, she's done amazingly well with the band x

 

[mellyb28]

Thanks Daisy - it's nice to know we're not alone! Good luck with your consultation next week x

 

[mellyb28]

I've just weighed in on the banders weigh in thread, plus 2 for me this week, unsurprisingly! I thought I would come back on here and remind myself of my promise to myself I made earlier in the week, to give me the motivation to get straight back on the wagon.

"1) I will eat delicious healthy foods averaging around 1200 calories per day. This does not include cakes, biscuits or chocolate!
2) Even though it's difficult for me to eat in the morning, I will make sure that I have breakfast every day (even if it's later in the morning). Porridge seems to be easier to eat so I will have that.
3) I will make a commitment to do some form of exercise at least 3 times per week. (even if I've had a bad day at work!)
4) I will tell myself repeatedly that I am worth the effort and that I don't deserve to feel bad."

Right, that's me reminded! Have a great week everyone x

 

[FuturePerfect]

You've come a long way mellyb28 despite the hiccups, and are an inspiration to me. I've enjoyed this thread following your progress.

 

[mellyb28]

Quick mid -week (well nearly) update.

Well as per the promise I made to myself I got back on the wagon on Saturday and so far I'm managing to stay on it. I've counted my calories everyday and I even managed to go to the gym tonight. I know it doesn't sound like much so far but I'm really pleased with how positive I'm feeling right now. I'm sincerely hoping for a loss this coming weekend!

I actually re-joined Rosemary Conley online as I find that this is kind of easy to follow and it just gives me the basics to keep things in check as far as my eating is concerned. Once you've put in your weight, height, age etc it calculates your daily calorie allowance (a bit like Myfitnesspal) but it actually allows a higher allowance because pretty much everything you eat must be under 5% fat. So I'm allowed 1560 calories a day as long as everything is under 5% fat. There are a few exceptions to this rule but in general that's how it works. Anyway, it's early days so far but at the moment I'm pleased to be back on track and as I say it would be nice to post a decent loss this coming weekend!

Night all x:4635:

 

[Mazza]

Good luck with the Rosemary plan Mel, its my favourite style of eating and suits a banders way of eating really well.

I bet you will struggle to eat the calorie limit though, I know I did while I was still wanting to lose xx

 

[miserable]

Good luck Mel, I admire ur great attitude

 

[mellyb28]

Well here we are, it's the weekend at last! I've had another tough week at work but this week I managed to stop it affecting my food choices. I really feel like I've got my head screwed on properly as far as this healthy eating thing is concerned. I've stuck to my goals this week and managed to get 4.5 pounds off, 2 of that was what I put on last week but at least I've ended the month with an overall loss. I think the Rosemary Conley plan is going to work well for me and I've managed to find some quite nice foods which have less than 5% fat. Last night I had a yummy Steak and Guinness soup which was delicious and full of veg too, I'll definitely have that again!
I've now managed to lose 51 pounds so far and even though it's taken since Jan to do it I feel proud that I've got past the 50 pounds mark. The most weight I ever managed to lose in the past was around 2 stone so I'm grateful to my band for giving being there and giving me the tool I needed to keep me going, without it I would have given up months ago.

 

[mellyb28]

Just wanted to post something quickly because it was a bit of a milestone for me at the weekend. I needed a new suit for work (I'm a director for an insurance brokers so have to look smart) and I got one in Next in a size 16!! I had already bought a couple of cardigans in that size and a raincoat but kept kidding myself that they just came up big but now I have accepted for sure that I am indeed a size 16! Before I started this journey I said to myself that if only I could get to a size 16 I would be happy; and here I am! I still want to carry on a lose another 2 stone however but for the first time in years I'm feeling like a normal human being and when I look in the mirror I'm not disgusted with what I see.
I went and tried out body combat last night at my local gym; as it was a 'technique' session there were only 2 of us in there which meant I had no choice but to look in the mirror but I have to say that I was quite pleased with what I saw, okay still overweight (well technically still obese ) but not such a dumpling as I used to be.
Been out on a works function today and not been able to stick with the plan but I didn't go overboard (which was lucky as it was on a boat - lol) and I didn't have any alcohol so fingers crossed I will be able to post another loss this weekend.