Tip for weight loss stallers!!!! photo now included!!!

[hopelesscase]

Just reading through your dates, I think that you are really brave, I tried the dating scene before I met hubby 12 years ago and I hated it, I know that a lot of people enjoy that "will he/she be the one" feeling and the whole excitement of a first date but for me nothing else was more terrifying and I hated the whole dating scene.
I hated it so much that the year I got with hubby I gave up, my new years resolution that year was to not look for a partner and just spend the year being me and having fun with friends and discovering who I really am. That lasted until March!!! lol I knew hubby from work but we just suddenly clicked and went from there.
If something happened with hubby and I become single again then I would stay single because he is it for me and the 'scene' is just too terrifying for me, hence me calling you brave, going out there and taking chances is so brave.
I truly hope that you find your soul mate and dont have to kiss too many frogs before you find your prince.
Steph xx

Hi Steph thanks for your responce. I think that at 46 and having been single through choice for 20 yrs i have had to look at things from a different angle. Because of my work commitments and schedual i work 19 day/nights on 6 off 2 on 2 off then back into my 19. I also work from home with children all the time so dont get to meet too many adults.

deciding to use a dating site was the last thing from my mind as nic and shell would tell you. but once the seed was planted i thought what have i got to loose. I am a very confident person and really know what i want in life. meeting up with someone in a very public place is just like sitting down for a coffee and talking to the person at the next table. where as meeting someone in a club, pub where one or the other or both has had one or two too many just doesnt do it for me.
One thing that i and the dates have all been on have said is that it is nice to get to know someone via talking befor meeting then at least you know if there is any common ground before you meet and it saves a lot of thoes embarrising silences.

I have learnt in life never say never as you really dont know what is around the corner.
take care
carole

 

[hopelesscase]

well all i can say at the moment is thank god for MSN would hate to see our phone bills if we spent as much time talking on the phone as we have on there.
my fingers are becoming little stubbs!!!!

 

[StephieAck]

Hi Steph thanks for your responce. I think that at 46 and having been single through choice for 20 yrs i have had to look at things from a different angle. Because of my work commitments and schedual i work 19 day/nights on 6 off 2 on 2 off then back into my 19. I also work from home with children all the time so dont get to meet too many adults.

deciding to use a dating site was the last thing from my mind as nic and shell would tell you. but once the seed was planted i thought what have i got to loose. I am a very confident person and really know what i want in life. meeting up with someone in a very public place is just like sitting down for a coffee and talking to the person at the next table. where as meeting someone in a club, pub where one or the other or both has had one or two too many just doesnt do it for me.
One thing that i and the dates have all been on have said is that it is nice to get to know someone via talking befor meeting then at least you know if there is any common ground before you meet and it saves a lot of thoes embarrising silences.

I have learnt in life never say never as you really dont know what is around the corner.
take care
carole

Well good on ya I say, when I went through the scene nobody really talked online and I didnt think to talk to them on the phone beforehand, that is probably where I went wrong lol thank God I did though lol
The amount of people meeting their beau through the net is huge now, it opens up a whole new world to folks.
I hope that you find your Mr Right or whoever it is that will rock your world .
Steph xx

 

[hopelesscase]

Life is so complicated at times eh.
Had a lovely time today we started off with coffee and then hit the shops as hes looking for a coat then went to the chinese buffett for lunch. He said that he actually found it quite difficult eating as it felt uncomfortable knowing that i can eat so little. I pointed out to him that that may be the case but what i do eat i really enjoy! and in effect it was better than being on a perminant diet.

Whilst we were looking in the shops he noticed that i only look at things with sleeves in and commented on it. saying i bet yr arms dont look as bad as you think they do.
Anyway whilst having lunch he just happened to mention that he had booked a room at a country house hotel and spa for next wed. (nearly choked on my dinner) but only if im comfortable with it the plan is that we arrive after lunch use the spa facilities both booked in for a massage, have dinner and then have a drink. Hes booked a twin that can be changed to a double if i want, but absolutly no pressure (take my wynciette PJs if i want and he will leave the room whilst im getting ready etc).
He really is lovely but is he the right one!!!!
The reason hes done this is if im going to go to new york with him he needs to sort the booking out by the 28th. The one thing he keeps saying is hes aware of how insecure about my body i am and if anything were to happen it would only be when i feel comfortable with it.
Im also very aware that he has never been out with anyone aboce a size 12 so he will of never seen anything like me before.
Now im really not neive and up to now he has been the perfect gent but please feel free to comment on what you would do in this situation.
yes i like him but do i really really like him?!!!

 

[ChrystalK]

It sounds like things are going along quite nicely. The only thing could advise that you go with your gut feeling, if you think it is right, then go for it, if not, then don't.

If you are worried about how he is going to react to your skin, then over MSN I would ask him, what he thinks you might look like.

Just remember you have to make the decision that is right for you.

 

[POPPET]

Carole,(like Chrystal said)I have every faith you will make the right decision(s)

Just remember you are one hell of a catch for some lucky fella & you're gonna be dipping your toe in the water sometime so might as well be with someone/somewhere you like & no you are not innocent about men - yes he might turn out to be just after one thing but it could also turn out fantastic

He's called all the shots so far but I'm sure you'll add a few ideas of your own in on any hotel/New York trips

Hang on to your heart girl til you're sure he's a good 'un

 

[phatgirl]

1. Do you feel safe, comfortable and open when you are with him?
2. Do you feel rushed, pressured or forced to move forward at his speed?
3. Do you feel a connection to him like you want to spend more time and would enjoy intimacy at this stage?

If you answered yes to number 2, you may be going too fast and should tell him so. If you answered yes to 1 & 3 - GO FOR IT!!!! Have fun, you are a lively happy woman who has lots to give and he would be crazy not to see it. As for the skin, you will never know until the moment and then once you know, you know for good or for bad. It is a risk but if you like him it is a risk worth taking. If you are really deep down unsure, then wait because it will only be the right moment when you feel safe and adored.

Go take a risk or if on reflection you are not ready, then say so to him, if he is the right bloke he will understand, if he doesn't then he is not worth having, bin him and move on to another fish!

Nic

 

[hopelesscase]

Well i asked him the the question or rather we had a conversation about how honest and open i am. That gave me the perfect opportunity to say that the reason i am like that is on one hand it is self preservation as if i didnt say anything and led someone to believe that what the packaged goods looked like reflected the unpacked ones and then i never saw that person for dust it would give me even more issues. But the other reason is that i would prefere to be upfront right from the start cause the last thing i would want to do is repulse someone by what they see without for warning them.

I then asked him to tell me honestly how he felt about it.
he was very honest and said he really liked me as a person , he likes my honesty and cheek, thinks i look fab although not as good as him lol. (hes an old man going through a mid life crisis hes 50 in january lol) we seem to have loads in common but equally we are such opposits which we are. But he really doesnt know if hes going to be bothered by my skin or not.

I asked him if it would help if he saw some photos befor hand and his responce to that was we all have a past some good and some bad what i have acheived is personal to me and he would rather relish in what is to come than what has been. Hes not seem a picture of the big me and said the other day he felt that that was personal to me. Maybe one day in the future.

We've got another week before we go and im seeing him on friday. what he has said is that it can be cancelled upto 36hrs before hand without loosing any money.

By heck what happened to all these fairy tail romances i read about as a kid!!!! lol

 

[shazbrad]

I agree with Nic, my question is do you fancy the pants off him, does he turn you on?, if you don't fancy him and he doesn't turn you on then your not ready, but only you know, if he is really genuine then he will wait until you are ready
hope it all goes ok fingers crossed

 

[hopelesscase]

Oh well after a really restless night ive decided that my integrity is going to have to rule my head and heart.

As much as i like him and fancy him something just isnt feeling quite right. Dont know what it is but have that rock in the tummy feeling thats telling me no.

Going to catch up with him later and let him know but would prefere to do it face to face tomorrow but dont think i can talk to him without letting him know.

life eh!¬¬

 

[hopelesscase]

oh well i had text him asking him to phone when he got a mo.
He finally messaged me back saying that, He really likes me and although it may sound harsh he thinks we maY be better just remaining friends. Sorry i i thought it was going futher.
I text him back saying that that was exactly what i wanted to talk to him about. that i didnt see us having a relationship but i would of thought he was more of a man then he obviously was and talked rather than just sending a message.
He has since phoned me and i was able to put him in the picture as to what it was i didnt like about him and it was more about his reaction to big people than anything.
anyway with christmas around the corner and my sister stil in hospital im going to leave the dating lark alone unless im inundated with emails again lol.

 

[StephieAck]

Sorry that he wasnt the one hon, also sorry that he is such a prat, thinking that he could sort it out in a text, pathetic.
Steph xx

 

[phatgirl]

Ahh, the down side of dating, all the frogs that want to be kissed! You were smart to trust your instincts, you obviously were right about him. Just more info under your belt about what you don't want. NEXT!

Nic

 

[hopelesscase]

yep rods back in the pond!!!!!!

 

[POPPET]

lol Carole!

 

[hopelesscase]

well after feeling reall sorry for my self and having a wake up call that i have posted about on my diary

My bait must be good!!! cause even after unloading all my woes on this fish he still wants to meet for a coffee so im giving myself some me time.

watch this space lol

will let you know tomorrow

 

[BlueDiamond]

Well boys and girls many many times we read about people stalling and not loosing any weight for weeks at a time.
Well i have just discovered a new way to get the weight loss moving!!
Get a new distraction in yr life my son recently signed me up to a dating agency and initially i could of throttled him but as email alerts started coming through and curiosoty got the better of me i decided to take a look.
One of the features on the site is how other members rate you and i say rather smugly ive got 8.3 out of 10. so for starters the was a major confidence boost.
Then one message caught my attention and hey ho i have a date at lunchtime today.
Now i know i have never been an emotional eater and to suddenly find myself picking at my meager portion on my plate and pushing my food around i have found it quite amusing. Feel like a bloody love struck teenager but not wanting to eat whats that all about!!
Knowing that he is fairly fit and loves going to the gym and working out has spurred me on to going to the gym more regular and i have had 3 days where i have ended up in the gym with our first team at the rugby club who have certainly put me through my paces.
Dont worry i have made sure i have upped my protien to get the energy in as i know i cant do the volume at the mo 4 brazil nuts and i was stuffed yesturday. But having got on the scales this morning to discover my weight has dropped to 9st 6.5lbs was a bit of a shocker.
Now im not surgesting all you married peeps sign up to a dating agency but think back to when you first met yr partners and all the emotion that bought with it and pre occupy yrself planning things you can do to together to put that energy back into yr lives and shift that weight.

 

[hopelesscase]

well after seeing my sister today i then met with what shall i call him!!!
Mr normal for a coffee. he is a single dad to a 14 and 15yr old daughter and son whos mum died 7 yrs ago.
I have never known 2 hrs to pass so quick he was full of a cold and feeling really rough and although i had asked him if he wanted to pospone he wouldnt hear of it as he didnt want to mess me around.
Well he has the most amaising eyes, is 5ft 10inches tall has a stocky build but very fit looking. Hes a engineer and tester of new products but was also in the army for 12 yrs.

A few weeks ago i got asked what i wanted from a relationship and if you remember i said that indescribable feeling. i knew he needed to leave at 6pm as he needed to go and pick his kids up but we both said we could of stayed all evening.

Seeing him again on boxing day so will just see how it goes. after my last few experiances not expecting anything but seems like a very genuine guy.

 

[Glenville]

Well done Carole, sounds like you may have found a good'un. I wish you and yours all the best for Christmas and a happier and healthy new year.
John xx

 

[hopelesscase]

im hoping so john.
and happy christmas to you too.
carole