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What to tell people?

Suwiexx

Suwiexx

New Member
Have been discussing with my bf on what I should tell people, I live 400 mile away from all my family and friends and only know a handful of people where I live now but not well enough where I would go to them like a few friends from mother and toddler group and some people I know at work but we don't really socialise out side if those places. My mum and my sisters know that's it. I don't know weather to just leve it as they all know I've Been dieting as I prob won't se them till may be Xmas or Easter, as for the people I live near I don't really know what to say. I would prefer no one know really just so I don't have to talk about it but obv I will look different ( hopefully ) what did you guys do?
 
I didn't want anyone to know as I was ashamed n embrassed, but u know what idid I held my head high and told everyone and I'm proud to say iv had a gastric bypass to lose weight and live my life for me and no1 else, and if u have an issue, write it in a post card and post it to some1 who cares cos I don't.

The best thing I can say is be proud of what u are doing it's a massive brave step!!!

In 8 weeks post op I look so different after losing 6st 4lbs, ppl ask questions like are u ill are u suffering, so I told the world n gald I did xx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery
 
suwie this is a very personal choice, if you feel that you'd rather not tell anyone, then dont! it's nobodys business anyway lol
you may find after a while that you maybe would like to tell people. Just do what you want to honey :) xxx
 
I agree! It is a personal choice! At the end of the day this is about you making a better life for you! Tell or don't tell! The most important thing is you are taking the journey, not who's watching!
That said, I have found by being open about my bypass to come, that I have received support and care from the most unlikeliest of people around me!
 
Hiya i told everyone theres no shame in having wls for years i tried all manor of things to lose weight but it just kept coming back people fail to understand how we feel cos were big and all they can say is go on a diet if it was that simple none of us would be on this site lol but the way i see it is by having surgery i done something about it permanently. and im proud of that fact
 
Hits suzie, I have had a band, so obviously my weight loss is going to be slower than yours. I have only told my mum, dad, husband & best friend. Probably because on the lead up, I had to get my head around it for me & was cautious of it not happening. I haven't told work because I am field based & rarely see my boss in London. I took hols for op (obviously recovery time quicker for band too). Now that I've had it I already am thinking different. I'm proud of what I've done and as I lose weight I will tell people why. It's a totally personal choice & if you don't feel like telling anybody yet, then don't. Time may change things & you may feel different in future, but go with your gut feeling right now. It's up to you, good luck xxxx
 
Thanks kelley xx


I have told my sisters and my partner because they need to know really but as I'm not really close with anyone else it's just something I wouldn't talk about as I don't know them well enough if you know what I mean but surely they will know just by looking at me I'm 20 st now and only 5"1 so I'm quit big and always have been since age 11 I've tried all kinds over the years so they would guess I guess. X
 
Hi suwie
I tell everyone I had a bypass purely because it was done by choice, my choice to live a happier and healthier life. If my friends don't like the idea of me been happy and healthy then they clearly not friends.
Apart from the jealous b****tchy comments from a few individuals everyone else is really happy for me.
 
hi ive told most people that im waiting for a op the rest will find out after me op when i start
loosing weight ive so far lost 4 stones and i have people in my street keep asking me mum about it me mum told them that i been on a diet
 
Hi Suwie, I get from reading your posts that you are reluctant to tell the people where you are living at the moment & guess what ... that is totally fine :) This is wholly your decision & as they don't know you well, they will just assume you are dieting, which in fact you will be as the op is only a tool to help you do this. As you become more comfortable with your new self you may want to share, but there is no pressure to do do. I agree your family need to know but it really is no one else's business. Just play it by ear, hun. xx :):)
 
When I had the gastric band I told my boss and work mates that I was having it. I so regretted that after a while as all they could say was, "How much weight have you lost now then?" I suddenly felt that this was really intrusive, I wouldn't dream of asking anyone what they weigh or how much weight they have lost etc. It was totally my fault for telling them about it and when I reached a plateau and stopped losing for months it was absolute agony when they asked. I would avoid them when I saw them coming it got so bad :D I know they meant well though, don't get me wrong. They were caring about me.

This time only my husband and children know that I am going for a bypass tomorrow. That way the pressure is off me as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Once I have lost a lot of weight then I might think differently but for now it is much better for me not to tell purely from previous experience.

It is entirely up to the individual what they decide to do. However I never knew when my neighbour went to be sterialised or when another neighbour went to have a knee replacement as they didn't mention it. Don't see that it is anyone's business what we do really. Do what feels comfortable for you sweetheart, after all, it is your body and your life :)
 
Josiegirl said:
When I had the gastric band I told my boss and work mates that I was having it. I so regretted that after a while as all they could say was, "How much weight have you lost now then?" I suddenly felt that this was really intrusive, I wouldn't dream of asking anyone what they weigh or how much weight they have lost etc. It was totally my fault for telling them about it and when I reached a plateau and stopped losing for months it was absolute agony when they asked. I would avoid them when I saw them coming it got so bad :D I know they meant well though, don't get me wrong. They were caring about me.

This time only my husband and children know that I am going for a bypass tomorrow. That way the pressure is off me as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Once I have lost a lot of weight then I might think differently but for now it is much better for me not to tell purely from previous experience.

It is entirely up to the individual what they decide to do. However I never knew when my neighbour went to be sterialised or when another neighbour went to have a knee replacement as they didn't mention it. Don't see that it is anyone's business what we do really. Do what feels comfortable for you sweetheart, after all, it is your body and your life :)
Click to expand...

Good Luck for tomorrow Josie & Happy Birthday ... what a present xx :birthday:
 
I can only echo what most have said on here about it being personal choice, I chose to tell my close family as I wanted their input before I took such a major step. I also chose to tell certain people at work because they had to know (HR and My Boss) and I have told a few very close friends as I didn't want them to feel like I couldn't trust them.
At the end of the day If people don't like it what's the worst they can do? If they're not your friend who cares! if they are your friend and they don't like it then I wouldn't want them as a friend anyway.

Your body, your life, your decision, and don't let anybody tell you your doing the wrong thing whatever you decide.
Remember we are all here to offer you informed advice so any time you feel you want to ask a question or just vent then one or two of us will be here :)

Good luck with whatever YOU decide.
 
I have two grown up daughters and although I had decided on the surgery, wanted their input and wanted to make sure they were ok with it.

I only told my youngest (8) last week a couple of days before as I didn't want her worrying about something she couldn't control or fully understand.

Apart from them, my husband and my dad who lives with us I only told one person and that was because she works very closely with me in my business and obviously she would otive when I disappeared for a couple of days.

My view is that those that need to know do and all others I don't really care what they think or speculate. I didn't want their negativity invading my resolve, because lets be honest they all know some horror story or another don't they!!

The reason I come on this forum is to get support and advice from people that are going through the smae as me, other forums and sites focus on the scaremongering and negative results.

Don't get me wrong I've done all my reasearch and know the pitfalls and dangers, but I feel confident in my decision and know that this is right for me.

Tell those that you want and leave others to their own thoughts.

Good luck to you on this journey. I wish you all success :D
 
Josiegirl said:
When I had the gastric band I told my boss and work mates that I was having it. I so regretted that after a while as all they could say was, "How much weight have you lost now then?" I suddenly felt that this was really intrusive, I wouldn't dream of asking anyone what they weigh or how much weight they have lost etc. It was totally my fault for telling them about it and when I reached a plateau and stopped losing for months it was absolute agony when they asked. I would avoid them when I saw them coming it got so bad :D I know they meant well though, don't get me wrong. They were caring about me.

This time only my husband and children know that I am going for a bypass tomorrow. That way the pressure is off me as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Once I have lost a lot of weight then I might think differently but for now it is much better for me not to tell purely from previous experience.

It is entirely up to the individual what they decide to do. However I never knew when my neighbour went to be sterialised or when another neighbour went to have a knee replacement as they didn't mention it. Don't see that it is anyone's business what we do really. Do what feels comfortable for you sweetheart, after all, it is your body and your life :)
Click to expand...

Thanks x happy birthday and good luck xx

Sent from my iPad using WLSurgery
 
Hey guys.....I told everyone!! i'm not ashamed, at the end of the day obesity is a physical and sometimes mental health problem therefore requires the same intervention as any other medical problem........and at the end of the day, bariatric surgery is a tool to assist individuals in gaining some kind of control over there eating problems, its not a magic wand and has to be worked with.
Anyone who would judge a person because they have sought help is purely and simply ignorant and has never suffered obesity.
 
Hi i've only told my mum, dad and hubby about my sleeve, i lived with been talked about for years and i just could not face the remarks so i chose not to tell. and that was the best thing for me. good luck with what you choose, Happy Birthday and good luck with your opp.xxxx
 
i told a chosen few before then when people started to notice my weight loss and asked about it i then told them , i found it curbed the *****y speculation, but you have to do whats best for you its your health, life and choice, good luck xxxxxxxxxx
 
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