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You have such a pretty face! The story begins!

believe me my MIL means every word, its not just comments about weight it's anything venomous she can spill out of her mouth. Have tried cambridge diet and failed but my mind set is changing so I'm going to give it another go. I hope we all get to where we want to be :eek:
Better off without people like that in your life, just wanting to drag u down. sweetest revenge will b to see her in the street when your a skinny size 8 (lol) and she`s still looking like the hag!!!
 
The three of us could write to Gok, say we met on here, operations on same day (more or less) and that in 18 months we all want a make over etc.....

That`d b great, only I`ve not told anyone about my surgery ( apart from hubby of course ) as yet. Mind u, I`m not too good with secrets so I`ll have prob told the world about it in 18 mths lol. Good idea;)
 
“You’ve got such a pretty face!”.
That’s what people say to me. Only the face mind, they can’t say “You’re so pretty” as a package!
Just the face. OK?

Right, now that we’re clear on that I’ll tell you why. It’s not because I have 3 arms, 1 leg and a tit and a half, its because I’m fat, overweight, obese, chunky, plump, larger, plus size or what ever other label society wants to throw at me! I am 28 right now and I’ve always been a big girl! Lovely, adorable chubby baby that you could really get hold of and squeeze her legs or grab her chops! Except that never went! But once you start school no one is interested in grabbing your legs and squeezing you with affection because you’re chubby! They would rather take the piss or just be plain nasty because they are too frightened of what fault you might see in them. But you get used to it, almost immune from the cruel actions of others and you even gain the talent to see when it’s coming. So what do you do about it? Smack every person in the mouth and use your weight advantage to knock their teeth out or you sit in doors crying everyday. NEVER!!!

You learn to fight back with words, you see everyone’s imperfections and take note of them for ammunition just in case they make a dig at you, then your prepared. One word and you can fly around and bowl them over with embarrassment because you’ve made them feel worse about themselves than you felt at their comment. You also have the power of others laughing at what you have said as well. Nothing draws a crowd better than a good slanging match and when you’re winning, you’re the hero. Not that this is the way it should be. What did your mother tell you?

“Just ignore them and walk away”.

Well that’s all well and good if you can get away from them. Chances are that you walk away saying nothing then they follow you and carry on humiliating you in front of the whole playground. No, if you do that you become the victim. Fight fire with fire right? An eye for an eye? It totally depends what level you take it to! You fight back too hard and you become the bully, you don’t fight enough you remain the victim. Where’s the happy medium? Truth is there isn’t one, it’s dog eat dog from the time you can talk until you’re 6 foot under no matter what you look like.

Not that I have ever been short of friends. I have always been very popular at school etc. Bubbly, confident, fun loving, but don’t call me fat! It’s like a red rag to a bull for an overweight person!

But what do you do when you become an adult. You can’t play the kid card anymore and tell them to stop looking or you’ll get your brother on to them, life just doesn’t work like that after the age of 16!

When you become an adult, you begin to hide your torment, you hold it in and do not let it show. If I can look like I don’t care what you said, then your don’t get the reaction you were looking for and then you feel the prick, not me. But as you grow up, you’re far less likely to be called silly names by people, they just use insults in different ways thinking you don’t mind!

My favourite one starts with “I’m not being rude but…..”
Of course you’re going to be rude or you wouldn’t feel the need to announce that you don’t mean to be rude before hand!

Oh and you have never thought the things that people suggest to you, never in my life have I had the inclination to diet, cut out fatty foods, only eat when I’m hungry, eat smaller portions or exercise more!

You haven’t got to be Jeremy Kyle to work that out. But people feel the need to tell you.

These are some of the best I’ve had in my life:

“You don’t really need that do you?”
No I don’t really need it, but I want it!

“Don’t spoil all your good work”
Look in the mirror and stop whining at me.

“I’m just trying to help you”
No you’re not, you’re trying to preach to me.

I don’t go around saying impertinent things to people no matter what their problem.
I don’t tell the super skinny that they need a few roast dinners to put on a few pounds.
I don’t tell bald people that their face lacks character because all people see is this big shiny space where their hair used to be.


What ever happened to live and let live?

God knows whoever came out with that load of b*llocks.

Well I’ve made a choice. A life changing choice. A choice that has made me sit up and face my fears, demons and enemies. At the age of 28, 5 foot 4 inches and 19 stones, I have decided to embark on the world of surgery. I am going to have a gastric band fitted inside me, around my stomach to make it smaller and assist me in losing weight. Easy option? No, I used to think people who had obesity surgery were taking the easy option. I obviously like food and eating or I wouldn’t be overweight in the first place.

Once I have this done I will never be able to eat a proper meal again. Never be able to go out and have a 3 course meal. A starter would be my limit. I will never be able to eat like everybody else ever again.

That’s a bit scary thinking I may have 50+ years to go yet! But is it worth the sacrifice to be healthy and happy? It is to me.

I don’t know how I’m going to feel, or how this will effect me, but I’m willing to share my whole journey with you, the good, the bad, the vomit, the pain & the will power!

Tuesday 28th October is my op date

I hope you enjoy it, here we go…..!


Cowgirl,

One of the best posts, in fact probably THE BEST post I have ever read on Minimins. :worthy: :clap:

Good luck with the surgery. :hug99:
 
Cow girl, in your words I heard my own voice. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. there are so many like you.

Go girl! I know you will do well
 
Cow girl, in your words I heard my own voice. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. there are so many like you.

Go girl! I know you will do well

Thank you very much! You have done SO well, what have you done to lose weight?
 
hi cowgirl,
do you really think we will never be able to eat nornally again. i am very sociable and love to eat with friends. yipes. i am counting on being to eat everything , but just less. i suppose i a 'lucky' as i dont have as uch to loose. i dont consider myself lucky, lucky is the people who can eat whatever they want and not put on weight.i love to eat.
i have told no one (apart from mum,dad,husband and son ) that i am having this done. they all say i should just diet, and that this is taking the easy way out.no way,i dont consider this an easy way out. and i could diet, would i still to it...probably not.... would i put the weight back on again....definate yes.
what i look forward to is never putting it all back on again.
but i really do love my grub and dont want to never be able to enjoy food again.
 
* i really need to type better, or at least check my spelling before i sent a message!
 
I can go out and be social post bypass, so there's no reason why a post band patient can't! Its just a case of ordering carefully and smaller portions.

I'm going to have a little rant now about this whole easy way out attitude. I have 2 major issues with it.

1. Easy my ar$e.

2. If it were easy, so what? Would they say to a person with a headache, don't take paracetemol, thats the easy way out. Or a person with cancer, don't have chemo, thats the easy option. Not a chance. What is so wrong about taking an easy way?
 
Hey Gina, just read the original post.....well said girl!!

Today at college where everyone knows i'm having the bypass next week, someone said, 'good luck, best wishes, i have to do it the hard way' and immediately got my back up.

Stupid people!!

Not long to go now!!
 
i have to do it the hard way' quote]

someone said the exact same words to me the other day and as i was feeling rather wound up i said "funnily enough ive got the badge, the hat and the tee shirt for doing it yr hard way. Just getting the scar as a perminent reminder now!!"

Her face was a picture especially when i pointed out that she was wearing a top from monsoon and that unless you are size 14 and under they dont even let you in through the door.

Had an email off her later on in the day saying that her comment had been flippent and thoughtless. I just replied glad you realised but you still said it.

came home today to find a plant arrangement on my doorstep off her. resolve weakend and we ended up having a coffee and clearing the air. Turns out shes bulimic and never admitted to anyone but is going seeing the dr on monday. life eh
 
Cowgirl, hope you don't mind me replying to your thread - not on gastric band surgery - I am doing W8 VLCD.

I think that your thread was the most poetic and emotional piece of writing I have read in a long time. Have you ever considered writing your story? You have such a powerful way with words and I think it would be something that so many of us relate to.

I think you are extremely courageous to have decided to go for the gastric band surgery and take the steps to change your life. With such energy -you will make the changes you so want.

If that is you in your picture - then people are right...you are extremely pretty and the size of your body does not detract from that.

good luck on the 28th and I will watch with interest your progress and to reading more of your threads.

Thank you for being so honest, open and engaging.

LRO xx
 
hi cowgirl,
do you really think we will never be able to eat nornally again. i am very sociable and love to eat with friends. yipes. i am counting on being to eat everything , but just less. i suppose i a 'lucky' as i dont have as uch to loose. i dont consider myself lucky, lucky is the people who can eat whatever they want and not put on weight.i love to eat.
i have told no one (apart from mum,dad,husband and son ) that i am having this done. they all say i should just diet, and that this is taking the easy way out.no way,i dont consider this an easy way out. and i could diet, would i still to it...probably not.... would i put the weight back on again....definate yes.
what i look forward to is never putting it all back on again.
but i really do love my grub and dont want to never be able to enjoy food again.

Hi Cheryl

I'm sorry if I shocked you by what I wrote! When I mean eat normal, I mean eating the way I do now; a chicken korma, 2 popadums and a nan bread washed down with a can of coke!

We will still be able to eat are fav foods from time to time but in much smaller portions like Shel has said. Going out with friends and order what ever you want but you'll only be able to eat so much of it. Plus it will take you a long time to eat a very small portion so if that is going to make you uncomfortable infront of friends that dont know then maybe you should tell them and get them to understand what a massive choice and sacrifice youre making to be happy. Everyone bar 1 jealous friend has been very supportive of me. Ive anounced it on facebook and have made a group to share my journey with everyone I know and invited them to join. God knows where I got the strength to tell 250 people how much I weigh etc!!

But you have to do whats right for you girl!xxxx
 
Cowgirl, hope you don't mind me replying to your thread - not on gastric band surgery - I am doing W8 VLCD.

I think that your thread was the most poetic and emotional piece of writing I have read in a long time. Have you ever considered writing your story? You have such a powerful way with words and I think it would be something that so many of us relate to.

I think you are extremely courageous to have decided to go for the gastric band surgery and take the steps to change your life. With such energy -you will make the changes you so want.

If that is you in your picture - then people are right...you are extremely pretty and the size of your body does not detract from that.

good luck on the 28th and I will watch with interest your progress and to reading more of your threads.

Thank you for being so honest, open and engaging.

LRO xx

Hi LRO

Thank you for your message and very kind words and comments!

I have thought about writing my story, in fact, I wrote that passage that is now this thread about a month ago and I intend that to be the opening of the story!

I know lots of people no matter what their weight loss method will relate to what I have said and I know that sometimes it's nice to know that others have and are all feeling the same way you do about life and unhappiness with themselves.

If I can help 1 person get through something then I've made a difference!

Oh and then my next novel can be a sex novel! LOL

Gina!xxxx
 
I too struggled with the idea of being able to socialise post op. i have to say that i still enjoy socialising as much as i always did. i still enjoy my fav foods just don't eat alot at all. It does feel normal to me now and i don't have that dreaded fear of what will i eat and what if i react to them. i now know what i can an can't manage and feel pretty confident that i can go out enjoy myself and feel fine. It's hard initially but once you know how to read your own body in terms of food and drink it is fine!! x
 
“You’ve got such a pretty face!”.
That’s what people say to me. Only the face mind, they can’t say “You’re so pretty” as a package!
Just the face. OK?


This is so close to the story of my life that a tear has just rolled down my cheek. I get "you've got such a pretty face, if you just lost a little weight you'd be beautiful"! And that was from colleagues at a company I used to work for! What gets me is the fact people think you want to hear that, that they're giving you a compliment!!
I use the classic "fat" person defense system - humour and self deprecation - if I take the mick out of my weight first it stops others from doing it, although I have found that this can open the floodgates to a barrage of "hidden" abuse as people feel comfortable then to make "witty" remarks about you and your weight as they think you've given them the go ahead!!
The truth of the matter is, everyone likes you being "fat", it gives them something to talk about because you'll notice the minute you say you're dieting or start loosing weight the first thing folks say is "you don't want to lose too much do you, you've such a pretty face, don't lose so much that you look gaunt" - honestly there is no pleasing!!! At the end of the day if you look in the mirror or see a photo etc that makes you think "I don't like what I'm seeing" then it's time to address it, in whichever way works for you. For me it is total food abstenance, I am unable to control the amount of food I eat so it's best if it's taken away completely, I am embracing milkshakes and water for the next few months. I am only on day 3, weigh in is next Monday - I am so hoping for a good weight loss to keep me motivated. I am feeling so so positive though, I am in the zone 100% and I love it, already I can feel a weight lifting from my brain as the worry about what I've eaten in the day and how tomorrow will be different isn't plaugeing my thoughts as I try and sleep, it's just the need to pee keeping me awake!!

Anyway I've got to go and see to my babies and have a pint.

I'm going to subscribe to your thread and watch your progress - loads of luck for the op.
 
I think this is the story of many of our lives and I love your directness, your strength and positivity.

I was banded on 14th October and although a little battered and bruised still feel fabulous. I have lost about 16lbs from pre-op to today.

My surgeon just said, go out, live life, enjoy what is around the corner. You are no longer a slave to food, you can eat what you want, it will just be less.

I am happy with that - because the less still tastes just as good - and it is just as appreciated.

I was a binge eater, now I am not. I still get hungry like before, still want to shove food in but I can't and I am fine with that.

Its great to have a forum where we can all keep each other motivated.
 
Minxy Mum and Caz bandy

Thank you thank you for your beautiful honesty.

Oh the one thing that has set the butterflies off in my tummy is the one about "don't lose too much you'll look gaunt!" it is true that people are never happy!

I've addressed this with the likely culprits around me already. I've told them, Im not going to look gaunt, I'm going to look different. Different to how they have ever seen me look before. I am going to be a healthy weight and I will change in face a lot. I will have cheekbones and a jawline that is defined. I wont look "Ill" I will look how the health world say I should look at the weight for my height.
I feel very passionate about defending myself even before I lose the weight. But that is sad. Am I still going to have to defend my looks as a slimmer person like I have had to as a fat person all my life?

I wont do it, it will drive me insane. This is a big enough issue to deal with as it is without the need to bat off more comments from people.

So many people have said that I am brave for doing this (having the op). I don't think I'm brave. I feel more braveness in going out and facing the world and a society in which I am not looked upon as acceptable every day of my life. Leaving the house knowing you might face stares, comments and remarks everyday is a mortifying thought. What do we do? Hide away? No way!

When I was a young girl, probably about 9 or 10, I needed to lose weight. My dad tried to give me insentive and said if I lost a stone he'd give me £20. I told my paternal grandmother who lived in Cornwall when we went down to visit. Now she feels it a must to hg me whenever she see's me and slap my behind (Which is my biggest componant!) and say "20 quid!".

My dad was a big kid and adult. I know he never wanted me to have a life like him. Not wearing what he wanted but what was comfortable. I know my dad would love a pair of levi's and look nice in them! Bless him. But he went about teaching me the wrong way. Watching what I ate and watching me eat. Making comments, telling me that he may get my jaws wired up to help me. It didnt help me though. I thought 'I'll eat what I want, its my body'. Maybe if he'd used a reverse psycological approach I may have listened!
I love my dad to bits. I know he only wanted the best for me. He just went about it the wrong way. I wonder how he will deal with my weight loss as it happens? Maybe this will make him look at things about himself that he doesn't want to address. He keeps making the remark of "maybe I should have it done!" as a joke. And I know he's only saying that before someone else says it to him as a silly quip and makes him feel like ****. It never gets any easier, old or young, male or female does it?
 
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