BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[BandedHun]

Just remember to look after yourself Hun x x

I am dreamer, I'm in group therapy every Tuesday for two hours, so it's my time. Still get my nails done and a few cheeky sunbeds. Only thing I had to have all my hair extensions removed, my hair is SO thin and brittle.

Does anyone have any ideas to help get my hair back in order?? I've been taking sea kelp and multi vitamins as yet no real improvement. It grows but it's so thin. ( I've never had the thickest if hair hence having extensions in first place. I'm tempted to buy a wig for nights out. And the
winter as its so cold . Any suggestions would be great. I had all my hair cut short ... (See pic) but with a good blow dry it just looks awful.

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Maybe try asking the go about some biotin supplements x x

 

[BandedHun]

Had a lovely afternoon with my boy today. Eaten poo poo too but I really don't care as my weights low (BMI 18.5 ATM ) had some chicken kebab and chocolate tonight some Pringles and hot chocolate too with marsh mellows . Pure naughtiness ....

Anyway I'm exhausted just a quick update tonight

 

[sharon2014]

Banded I know you had some struggles but you look great in those photos esp with wee Dave he is adorable!!!

Can't help with the hair repair but there are loads of amazing wigs to choose from..slightly OT but watch a reality show called LA hair and the hairdresser Kim Kimble does wigs that look amazing..not sure on prices but you should have a wee Google!!! Xx

 

[Kar8858]

Dave is hilarious..
Hope you are feeling more positive.. Just keep at it and don't worry..get walking with Dave that always makes me feel better..dogs never judge you..although mine has had me over a few times now due to us being almost the same weight! Watch out Dave doesn't do the same to you!! X

 

[BandedHun]

Lol Dave is getting big and I think he will weigh a darn sight more than me. Off for an appointment today going to have a fluid check and hopefully have .2ml added again just to keep the restriction I like. Maintain my 7stone loss. That's what I'm at and that's where I'm happy. Only got cover till 29th March 2016 so figured I should use it to the best of my abilities.

I'm lonely at the moment , really lonely, not sleeping, so thought getting out the house other than dog walking would be good for me hence going into London for the afternoon. I'm exhausted inside but just need some outage. My OH dog bit Dave whilst he's away and it's caused all sorts of stress and worry coz the dog attack I went through in 2012 with him. I'm carrying so much guilt about having Dave but Lennie is just so difficult , I can't walk him alone, he's lead aggressive since we got attacked, he's deaf and now he's vicious towards Dave in the house. All because he's dominant over me and protects me. I know my IH won't have it and Lennie will need to be rehomed or Put to sleep but it's playing on my mind so much. Daves brought me so much happiness when I've been so low . It's lovely to have a dog I can walk and take out without other dugs being an issue. Oh I don't know I'm just waffling.

On brighter note,therapy is going well, but believing in my self.... Not so much ... 7 stone gone and I've well and truely exceeded my expectations and a size 6 , how can I grumble. 7 dress sizes smaller ... 6 months to play with the band and see where I go and get the restriction perfect .

OH is still away and that's caused me so much angst, today I'm going to try my hardest not to talk to him, just leave him to be alone, it seems whenever I do talk to him it reinforces my negativity towards self because he seems incapable of saying things I'd like him to say in light of what I'm dealing with back home. ( if that makes sense ) but in his defence I shouldn't have to rely on his reassurance to make me feel ok, I should be able to do that for myself xxxx

Just a little update of the big guy growing .

Have a good day everyone ?

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

He is so gorgeous!
Glad you're getting out and about a bit. I think your right about the reassurance thing my cbt counsillor told me I was to stop seeking so much reassurance from those around me as its part of my anxiety. Still have off days but it's definitely better x x

 

[BandedHun]

So 6ml is in my band , fluid checked , no leaks, no issues, strange. I lost 4kg in between the last fill so that's 4kg in 4.5 weeks. So 2.2lbs roughly a week. Shocked. I know 9st1lbs light. My BMI just still healthy for my height. I'm ok. Apart from the fact I've got the worse sore throat and the cold.
I can't eat much as my throats horrific ... Really like razor blades. Ouchie.
But I'm liquids only. I found that my port is rather swollen after the three needles they put into it yesterday.... Two draw and one for a 0.01ml fill. I'll attach a picture.

OH is home Monday I'm so pleased I've struggled without him, not sleeping eating well, the dogs playing up. It's going to be a tough week next week, Lennie the EBT is going to be rehomed as he just too aggressive with me. Breaking my heart as if Dave wasn't here it would be fine , well... I say fine, I can't walk him on my own because of when we got attacked in 2012. So Dave is nice because I get out everyday like I did with my two babies that passed. Plus I have been so much better with the PTSD since having him. My hearts whole again, I'm trying everyday. I get out the house every single day . I get up at 5:30-6 rather than stay in bed or on sofa all day. So it's a good thing keeping him. I just struggle with the guilt . But the two living seperately in our little house is just so stressful and Lennie hasn't got much of a life . He deserves better than to be stressed out by me ....

So all is ok. I guess ....

 

[BandedHun]

You can see the port sticking out and where the scar is lower now than the port area where I've sagged skin. Well not much skin . Doffing stretch marks at 20 from having a baby and yo yo dieting. It doesn't bother me though. I can wear size six/eight without over hang, it's just hsvjng stretch marks that's all. But I'm 32 so not exactly going to have my belly out....

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

My port sticks out the same too! We have ours in the same place can be uncomfy sometimes x

 

[kurstywursty]

During my repair surgery they moved my port from my waist to this position. It causes me a lot of pain when I lie on my right hand side. Real cry out loud pain :-( especially when I move off my side. I hold on to my upper tummy and try to squeeze everything into place before I turn over lol

Glad your doing better banded xx

 

[BandedHun]

I'm just trying one day at a time. Slowing everything down and understanding that it's ok to feel the way I feel in light of what I have been thru in my 32 years life xxx

 

[Kar8858]

Just hit those walks with Dave!! X

 

[BandedHun]

This dog! Lol ..... ?

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Hahaaaaa beyond cute!!!!

 

[BandedHun]

My granddad died at 2924 hours last night, I got the call Sunday morning after a hard night no sleep just feeling ill and just very unsafe, I stayed there holding his hand till the end. Made the call to get my mum and dad back from turkey. He held on, thought he'd make it to see her. Then got a text to say " boarding plane" to walk back in the room and see him take his last breathe. I then broke my mums heart and hope and told her she didn't make it.

All the family once he left, got themselves together, left, only to leave me and my sister

 

[BandedHun]

Bloody app playing up . I'm having a hard time coping tonightx I can't stop vomiting either ?

 

[kurstywursty]

That's Dave's haloween outfit sorted for next year xxxx. Trying to cheer you up love xxxx

 

[weegie]

Very sorry to hear of your loss hun. May he RIP.

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

So sorry for your loss Hun x x thinking of you x x