BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[Yvessa]

Hi Hun, I hope you know that what I say comes from a caring place. Your weight is definitely on the low side and you know that. What concerns me more is the way you are talking - I know you have spoken about your issues around food before - I worry about this. You say you are eating quite a bit of high calorie things like chocolate - but are you actually eating the protein? You are a beautiful woman and slim suits you. Having said that in your latest pics you don't look as well as you used to - still pretty, but you look tired and drawn. Now clearly some of that could be grief - you have had an awful time of it and you have my complete sympathy. But I am worried about you and I think you should get in touch with your team because your thoughts do not sound right. I hope that this makes sense and does not cause any hurt.

 

[BandedHun]

No it's fine I really don't mind the comments . It's nice to hear different opinions. I eat all my high days for weight gain, all my dairies too , protein eggs ( although fish I don't eat ) this is the thing, I don't avoid any foods, so I'm not worried about calories etc, I'm just eating little often and what I like, so tomorrow is Sunday roast which for me is everything on a side plate. Gravy, veg chicken potatoes etc.

I'm still in touch with my team regularly . I don't think issues with how we look/feel every truely go away. I know when I was bigger I'd love to be this size, like a 6 and I know I'm smaller . I'm happy this size. I never look and think urge I'm fat, I'd just like to tone. I get scared of numbers rising thru muscle gain yet I know in my head is be able to maintain this size by toning. I'm just taking one step at a time, trying to get back up to at least 9.2st ish which brings BMI back into normal. I'm very aware of everything, I'm currently in treatment for PTSD, emotion management and psychodynamic therapy so I'm in tune with everything , I kinda just wanted the feelers out there really? I mean I feel ok at this weight, energy fine, sleep and health fine, just cold that's all.... Other than that.... Thank you so much for sharing and caring it does mean so much to me everyone's opinion . Btw those pictures today I am shattered. Greasy hair and Dave keeps me awake and out walking early so dos the photos in a rush and to be honest, this weeks been busy busy busy .... So I do look sh!t today .... Sorry if it made you worry. I'll take photos with my make up and hair next time....

Oh I take B12 , multi vitimins and sea kelp and iron tablets and sublime to to help support my system .... So I'm trying with all the right things

I'm off to bed before this baby Dave wakes me
Night everyone xxx

 

[BandedHun]

You asked for comments huni. I think your a wee tad thin. But if your comfortable and happy with how you are that's what matters.......and my god you look amaze balls in a dress ;-) And......I have just said to my hubby I'm jelous I would love to be too thin lol xxxx

Thanks . I do feel I need to tone more and get some weight up , underweight BMI is not good but I'm just going with the flow . I don't monitor calories and just take each day as it comes. All I can do really.

Ahhh pls don't be jealous I'd hate to think someone was jealous, I'd trades lives with almost all of you if I could just to step out of my head for a day. But some days- wouldn't we all ?

Big hugs Kirsty xxxx

 

[kurstywursty]

Hi hunni. You never look ****. You are way to beautiful to ever look that!

I was thinking about my post and honestly wish I hadn't posted. I would rather be your weight than mine for sure

I think to look the best in tailored clothes you need to be a really low weight - would love to have a figure like Kate bkanchet so looks amazing in a suit - but undressed I think a bod looks better with a tad of padding lol....but he'll who sees us undressed. I know for one, I would rather look good in a suit or that gorgeous dress you had on

For work I need to meet with parties who often are represented by solicitors. The young females are stunning in good quality business suits or suit dress and jackets. I always feel like a sack of tatties next to them - no matter how much I have paid for mine. But I always have good shoes, great legs and a designer handbag ;-) gotta look at the positives xx

You have done amazingly well. I wish you could just relax now and enjoy your achievements. But alas I think the majority of us will always fight some kind of food weight body image Deamons - better than battling the fat though?

 

[BandedHun]

Hi hunni. You never look ****. You are way to beautiful to ever look that! I was thinking about my post and honestly wish I hadn't posted. I would rather be your weight than mine for sure I think to look the best in tailored clothes you need to be a really low weight - would love to have a figure like Kate bkanchet so looks amazing in a suit - but undressed I think a bod looks better with a tad of padding lol....but he'll who sees us undressed. I know for one, I would rather look good in a suit or that gorgeous dress you had on For work I need to meet with parties who often are represented by solicitors. The young females are stunning in good quality business suits or suit dress and jackets. I always feel like a sack of tatties next to them - no matter how much I have paid for mine. But I always have good shoes, great legs and a designer handbag ;-) gotta look at the positives xx You have done amazingly well. I wish you could just relax now and enjoy your achievements. But alas I think the majority of us will always fight some kind of food weight body image Deamons - better than battling the fat though?

Please don't feel bad for posting it. I mean let's face facts- I am underweight for my height by 4/6lbs and actually when you work out my body frame to BMI scale ( this method is worked out by the size of your wrist , you then place the size you get given small, medium , large frame, by the weight and height and you actually get a more precise BMI scale )

So as growing young lady I was always told I was a "big boned girl" turns out my big boned ness now I'm a 30 year old woman is actually the average medium frame . So my wrist is I think it's 5.5/6 inches . Over 6inchrs is large frame and under 5.5 inches is small. So me being a medium frame girl. Often referred to as a mesomorphic athletic frame my actual BMI range for optimum health is 139lbs (9.13 ) to 153 lbs (11.3) so if I actually look at this I'm a stone underweight for my frame build and size.... :-(

Thank you though Kirsty for your comments . I understand fully. It's like celebrities can be very thin and look amazing but when we joe public are just underweight or low body weights it's all of a sudden we have problems. It's like you can't win, fat girl unhealthy thin girl unhealthy.

I think your right about clothing. Like you I always had nice shoes and handbags . I think it was my way of masking being bigger. I think you look amazing. You always look happy despite the troubles your having, if I could I would help but it's so hard. Nothing has a magic wand , and habits of a lifetime for a foodie don't disappear over night.

Big hugs on this Sunday sweetheart xxxx

 

[BandedHun]

Hows your clothes shopping going hunnie? You still getting some lush designer gear? X x x

Well , at the moment I'm just trying to get warm clothes, so Ted baker coat this month in a size 0 that's SO warm, then got two gorgeous black Jessica Simpson costs.... It's all about the coats, but I've found so many lovely nice bits from little boutiques on line, so that black dress I wore to the wedding, only £18 I got the pink fitted dress in the same boutique for £15! I mean that dress is cheaper than most primark dresses but it's fit and everything is perfect.

My designer stiff is more handbags etc and my diesel Jean obsession but clothes I just happy to by any thing at the mo... Always just looking for different things ...

It is hard getting tall small clothes. The leg lengths etc are a nightmare as I need 33 inches and most standard are 30 inch in size 8/6 clothing xxx

 

[Sophina]

Well , at the moment I'm just trying to get warm clothes, so Ted baker coat this month in a size 0 that's SO warm, then got two gorgeous black Jessica Simpson costs.... It's all about the coats, but I've found so many lovely nice bits from little boutiques on line, so that black dress I wore to the wedding, only £18 I got the pink fitted dress in the same boutique for £15! I mean that dress is cheaper than most primark dresses but it's fit and everything is perfect. My designer stiff is more handbags etc and my diesel Jean obsession but clothes I just happy to by any thing at the mo... Always just looking for different things ... It is hard getting tall small clothes. The leg lengths etc are a nightmare as I need 33 inches and most standard are 30 inch in size 8/6 clothing xxx

I can't wait to be in this situation

I'm only 5ft 5 so will never have a height issue lol, but to buy a size 8, 6 or 0 coat must be amazing!!!!

And to never have to check out your lumps and bumps when trying on clothes because you no longer have any!!

You look amazing on your pics, you really do!!!!

Xxxx

 

[BandedHun]

I can't wait to be in this situation I'm only 5ft 5 so will never have a height issue lol, but to buy a size 8, 6 or 0 coat must be amazing!!!! And to never have to check out your lumps and bumps when trying on clothes because you no longer have any!! You look amazing on your pics, you really do!!!! Xxxx

Ahhhh sophina that's lovely . It's crazy and I'm sure you will identify with this as your journey goes on but I still look and think " this sticks out there" that sticks out here etc.... I think like myself and a lot of the other peeps on here have established once you have the issue deep routed inside it is so very difficult to stop those thoughts. I mean in No WAY shape or form do I look at myself and think I'm still big , BUT I'm very aware my damaged trigger is I SEE myself not a small as everyone else sees me. So we're by I'd look at an 8/6/4 clothing and think ( during the bigger years ) that those sizes were tiny and I'd be happy with a 12 but I would get to a 12 and be like .... There huge! And then a 10 would still be a large size, now an 8/6 don't seem small .... So I have to be very aware and acknowledging of the fact I am in the smallest sizes. I am slightly underweight and I am of an addictive personality and I will always strive for more. I think as long as us a human beings are aware of the dangers we can tackle them. I'm very lucky at the moment to be in intensive therapy to help me deal and cope with everything I've been through in my life, I just wish I was able to enjoy this size and not have so much weight of the past still weighing me down. But one day at a time.

You will get there, I promise. Hard work on your part, honesty and acceptance for change and I promise your surgery will be the best thing in your life, I'm so pleased I did it at 30 and didn't wait till my 40/50s!

Good luck and message whenever X X X

 

[BandedHun]

Back in the gym today, had all my assessment done,

BMI 17.8
8st11
178cm
Viscal fat. 1
Muscle 34.5%
Body fat 18%

Trying to build up muscle now and try get a six pack I suppose now my body fat is so low

Feel shattered now though and had curry for tea - yum!

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Hope you enjoyed your curry! Good look with the muscle I'm sure you'll get there x

 

[Sophina]

Trying to find this infamous mayflower curry stuff!

I don't have a farmfoods or B&M bargains near me so I checked in sainsburys and tesco and can't find it there :-(

Is there anywhere else I could try? Xx

 

[emmahc1975]

I found it in heron foods

 

[BandedHun]

I found it in heron foods

God I have no idea. I've never seen it in tesco. What about trying to punch it into Google and seeing if it's in any online shops? It's so good for making a tasty curry that doesn't feel like just water ( which is what I found with weight watchers or SW Curries ) then the creamy jars are SO high in sat fats ... Mayflower is just the dogs Go-nads! ;-)

I hope you find it my sweet..... I'll do some searching... If not I'll have to get some and post it!!!!

What's heron foods emms? X X X

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Defo look online! It makes a lovely thick sauce! X

 

[emmahc1975]

God I have no idea. I've never seen it in tesco. What about trying to punch it into Google and seeing if it's in any online shops? It's so good for making a tasty curry that doesn't feel like just water ( which is what I found with weight watchers or SW Curries ) then the creamy jars are SO high in sat fats ... Mayflower is just the dogs Go-nads! ;-) I hope you find it my sweet..... I'll do some searching... If not I'll have to get some and post it!!!! What's heron foods emms? X X X

It's a freezer shop similar to Iceland & farmfoods but cheaper!

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

You can get it here: http://www.tradewindsorientalshop.co.uk/acatalog/Mayflower_Medium_Curry_Sauce_Mix.html#.VidXBlV4WnM

 

[BandedHun]

Dinner tonight ..... Chicken pepercorn potato and veg....

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

That looks lush! X

 

[Sophina]

Feel free to invite me for dinner anytime Banded ? xx

 

[BandedHun]

Feel free to invite me for dinner anytime Banded ? xx

Yes come!!!! Lol ....

I finished that dinner too! Most of the time I leave some as I'm too stuffed!


I'm going back on protein shakes today. Had a bit of a hellish week and my gym intentions soon left as I was in and out of Drs and appointments with "work issues and PTSD stuff" so thinking next week I'll try crack on ... BUT hold on!!!! I can do sit ups, squats , lunges and press up at home.... I'm just TOO lazy! Get a grip girl and get toned.....

Just a little update if not so little Dave after he cost me £290 in new glasses as he chewed my year and half old DKNY pair!!!! ?

Git springs to mind.

Are any of you girls on Instagram ? Xxx