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BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

i would defo suggets ringing for an emergency defill at least then if you can get some control over what goes in food wise that might help you to start taking back control of your life hun. your a wonderful woman and very inspirational, dont let the B******s grind you down. Youa re better than that. If it helps i found this online. CBT Self Help - Step 1 its amazing how much it has helped me in just one week just to sit and actually think about my actions and thoughts etc and how i can do things differently to influence a happier outcome for myself.
Might be something that could help you?
 
I've kept food down all day!!!!


Eaten all different foods ( not chicken and salad) and it's all stayed down!!! Feeelllll sooooo much better :) :) :)
 
Sounds like you have a sensitive band like me, I have 5 mls in my band, every time I have a fill I end up having a defill two days later.

I had a 0.5ml fill on Sunday, so far so good, still on fluids and mush as from tomorrow. I find a lot of food difficult to eat still, especially eggs, salmon, pork and bread, so I have eliminated them from my diet. I tend to drink loads of milk to bulk up on my calories, I find that if I have 1200 cals a day I lose 1 - 2 lbs a week, if I drop below 1000 I don't lose weight at all, very strange!.

You are doing amazing, I cannot weight to get into the 12 stone range! ordered a pair of size 14 jeans from next yesterday as my 16's are hanging off me, I haven't been a size 14 in over 20 years!. x
 
Thanks Donna and dreamer-

Well one good day followed by nothing again wanting to play ball... Grrr, I think it's so ultra sensitive. I want it back down to 5ml again and let it settle .... I need to get a balance of food and try running , my DD is off to America with her dad for 3 weeks and is love to loose 6/8 lbs in that time but the way things are going .... Who knows ?
 
Two out of five diesel jeans fit now :) FINALLY!!!

image-3062442259.jpg

( My largest diesel jeans)


So happy about it. Still want to get to 11st then possible 10.7 for my wedding in Las vEgas on 16/10/2015 :)

But finally feel like I'm getting somewhere when things have been cruddy lately
 
Grrrrr! Need to rant....

Had a friend from primary school been friends since we were kids , in our later years we had been thru everything together. We lost weight and gained together etc. Anyway long story shirt she's very insecure girl , had several operations in NHS - vagina cut back then had more kids, then has her nose job done twice. So anyway she comes to me early last year saying she wants her eyebrows done ( which I was qualified to do) then after @ months of not seeing her she get engaged , pregnancy and moves then decides to send me text saying how I've ruined her confidence, etc with her eyebrows. I've repeatedly tried apologising to her etc and tonight she's just a used me because my OH and a friend have commented on photo where I've had my eye brows drawn in like scouse brow. And I'm to blame!!!
Not even on any social media site but my band diary. I've washed my hands trying to repairs relationship with her. It's done. Ivd never been nasty malicious to her and despite her insecurities I've still not risen and been nasty, can't be arsed. Just wish I hadn't wasted 21 years being her mate. She's just a bully. She can't see it for any point of view but her own. It's a ashame but if I'm true to myself I've too tied trying to please her all our friendship I've never been strong enough to stand up to her when I disagree and to be honest she's proved to me who she is as a person and I can't believe she's be so shallow to think this wouldn't effect me being the person she knows I am and the damage I've caused myself over the hard years.
I just need to get my thoughts down because it's eating me alive at the moment. I'm so angry I should have just said what I wanted to say rather than trying to patch it up.... Again ?
 
First of all.... Wow... You look stunning.....

As for that "friend"... I have had long standing friends from childhood that all of a sudden, become total arseholes. I wouldn't try and figure it out too much, it's almost always to do with jealousy or other issues. The important thing for you, in my opinion, is close the book, and forget it. I know it's annoying you, but if that's how someone is treating you after all this time? Then they aren't worthy or deserving if your friendship.

There are obviously image issues there, which most of us have at some point, but she's trying to find someone to blame. It's upsetting when it happens Hun... But, I have found so often that life is less about forgiveness and more about acceptance. Just accept how that person is and move on..... Sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's what I have had to do with so many people over the years
 
Thanks guys and dolls.
It's kept me awake almost all night going over and over in my head why the F*ck she can't get over it. Y she only messages to have a go. You know what though you are both right ... She's got issues and I'm now the scape goat for all her hang ups. She had the audacity in her words to write " I'm far too happy to be bothered" following after a text about a4 length ranting on about being mugged off etc,,,, (btw I'm not on FB /Twitter/ Instagram so she can't find out what I'm up to so she's gone snooping on my sister and seen something one of my friends had written regarding a picture if me looking good and "IM" apparently mugging her off) ... Any way I just replied .... You can't be that happy of your messaging me about it all .. If I saw something on her FB if just laugh and say to myself well she's obvs still thinking of me to write / do stuff on FB ... No this so called 30 year old female decides to text me a load of poo poo at 23:30! Classy! Then tells me she's happy, I just said sorry I can't be arsed I'm not bothered anymore ( her name) and it's done. Deleted her number and she can't message me anymore, in the past is have left the messages but now I just think delete it all otherwise it will only wind me up.... Keep reading etc,,, nah! Loosing Teddy made me realise life's too short . Like you say Leeds, these friends who just turn nasty , WTF! Bye! Can't be bothered. Just constant drama. She did the same thing over and over causing rows screen shooting stuff on FB to me so I argued with others.

A whole year not seeing and I don't miss the drama one bit, the *****ing, the opinions, on fact the whole self riotousness of he in factu. She's brought nothing to my life? Nothing I haven't missed but an opinion! Good riddance. The new me will flourish. She is one of the reasons I don't tell anyone other than my OH about the band ... Can't trust my mates and don't want the negative opinions. Any of you watch TOWIE? Well this is what this girl and her circle of girls are like ? Lol jealous and trying to be better than the next. *****ing behind eachother . Gotta have better babies, hair houses cars.... Snooooorrrrr! I'd rather be happy with myself and have Good career ... Which I have and money to live life rather than conforming to what "everyone else has" and I just need to say this.... I've never trapped a man by getting pregnant! Three times she's done this to men! Classy bird!

Rant round two over! ( shouldn't really do it in a forum) my diary though ! Lol

Anyway feels great to he getting back in those jeans' whoooo! Only three more pairs to conquer

Leeds hit the nail on the head in his diary- saying about loosing the weight and having the adjustments slowly, I've defo gotta go down that route as im so sensitive ESP with the stress I'm under at the moment - I'm off to talk to THG on 19th August so should be interesting xxx
 
I had exactly the same a few years ago when I used to go out in the gay scene.... It was all stupid drunken arse texts at stupid o'clock.. Says much more about the idiot doing it....

Thank goodness for modern mobiles being able to block texts and calls from numbers these days :)
 
And your right.... Forget all that competition... Do whatever you want in life for u... Sod em ;)
 
Good morning! No1 needs 'friends' like that! Sounds like your well rid of that one. It amazes me how often this seems to happen to people like us who are doing something positive to improve our lives, health & well being. It's certainly more of a reflection on the 'friend' than it is on us. Its a shame that we have to bear the brunt if their insecurities, with their nasty words.
 
Isn't it just!

Right I'm done with it . Had my rant . Just did my CBT and looked at what I have in my life and it's simple. Nice little house. No debts. Good career. Nice cars. My daughter and OH. It's simple and enjoyable - drama free ( other than my ex landlords) life's on the up. I'm looking better, feeling better. No one will rain on my parade. Certainly not those who mean sweet FA.

On with the day and a nice cookies and cream protein shake :-D

Feel tight when I swallow. But I'm hoping once I calm down it will settle

Have a great day everyone

The sun has got it's hat on in Essex
 
BandedHun said:
Isn't it just! Right I'm done with it . Had my rant . Just did my CBT and looked at what I have in my life and it's simple. Nice little house. No debts. Good career. Nice cars. My daughter and OH. It's simple and enjoyable - drama free ( other than my ex landlords) life's on the up. I'm looking better, feeling better. No one will rain on my parade. Certainly not those who mean sweet FA. On with the day and a nice cookies and cream protein shake :-D Feel tight when I swallow. But I'm hoping once I calm down it will settle Have a great day everyone The sun has got it's hat on in Essex
Click to expand...
Couldn't agree more! Think of the positives. I have 3 children whom i love, adore & cherish. I have a partner who is perfect for me, I have a home i love, my own business which gives me satisfaction in my work & the work / life balance i need & no1 tells me what to do. I have few friends but the friends i have around regularly support me & help make life more enjoyable. I'm doing something positive to extend my life, help me enjoy my young children & be more healthy. What more could I want? Stuff all the pathetic jealous, self obsessed people! We don't need need them bringing us down!
Stay strong Hun & your goals will (& are) be achieved. I have every faith in you!
 
Thanks so much Emma.

Means the world. To make me feel better today I brought a I love my dog pandora charm and two komods... God they are lovely. Size 10s. I love them.

Also weighed 12.4 this morning whoop only 4lb away from 4stone since 26th march!!!!

:-D :-D
 
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