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Big Fat Regrets/New You Wish List

well my biggest regret is that i have let myself get soo big that my 3 young children are now in danger of losing there mummy! ( makes me wanna cry)
and also never having a wedding dress i thought i ws far too big when we got married so didnt get one for have a big wedding whihc i regret so much!! ( more crying lol)

but i cant wait till i can run on a field and play football etc with my children go on the things they want me to, jump, run, do a cartwheel!!!
and i cant wait to renew my wedding vows and get that wedding dress ive always dreamed of an d have the big wonderful day ive always wanted but was too scared to do

and have my hubby hug me with his arms right the way around me and be able to pick me up and just have a laugh really

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In the words of Edith Piaf "Non, je ne regrette rien" Life is too short, I cannot change the past, but I can try to learn from it to make myself a better person.

Ok now for the good bit :D my new me wish list..........

That the surgery resolves in the most part some of my digestive problems

Reduce the impact my weight has on my other health problems

Get on a plane and not use the seatbelt extender (actually just getting on a plane and being comfy full stop is good enough :) )

Having photos taken of my family with me in them :)

Feeling proud of myself

Regaining my confidence

Buying 'normal' clothes

Being able to fit double the ammount of clothes into my wardrobe and drawers as they will be half the size of the ones now.* yay more clothes*

Freedom

Not hearing kids tell their mothers 'look at that fat lady'

Not being looked at like a freak show



I shall probably add more :)
 
There is no point in wasting my energy regretting the past which I cannot change. However, I'm really looking forward to the future.
Walking my children to school at a normal pace instead of taking 3x longer than other people.
Being able to get down on the floor to play with my children.
Chasing my children and husband in the park instead of encouraging them to chase each other.
Going swimming without other people pointing and staring.
Buying clothes from any shop I wish.
Perhaps not taking any medication for the obesity related illnesses I have.
Not having to listen to my children defend me or try and comfort me when they over hear other children or even adults talking about the fat lady over there.
Not having to ask my husband if I am smaller/bigger than others.
Not dreading having to sit beside someone on a crowded bus, or being the one in the middle on the settee.
My husband staying in our bed all night, instead of being driven out by the snoring.
Most of all, the chance that I might see my two beautiful daughters grow up and become confident independant women in their own right.
The look on the faces of those who see me as a lesser person because of my weight.

Rebirth
 
I hate the fact that I love food more than I love me. That I eat and eat and feel great for a minute then feel crap and low.
I hate that I feel I cant do what mums do like swim, play without feeling aches or tired.
I just want to be happy and wear nice clothes. Oh and then maybe we can buy a mirror.
 
I regret the wasted holidays.....feeling uncomfortable in the heat....hating myself in a swimsuit........sweating and chafing....trying not to puff and pant too loudly when we walked around sight-seeing (why are the prettiest places always on hillsides?).
I also regret the attitude of others. I started losing the weight battle when I was about 30ish and it was horrible seeing peoples attitude towards me change - I went from being attractive and being chatted up to being totally invisible. I became a 'non-person' in the office. But these are people I don't have to bother with any more. Its best to look forward, not back and the future looks bright. Mxx
 
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