Frightened - bypass due soon - Any other mums advice?

[2nd chance Jo]

So I get my endoscopy on wednesday afternoon and after that im expecting 4 weeks till surgery. I know its normal to be nerves and fear are to be expected but it's not subsiding at all. I know i need this surgery at just shy of 29stone (originally 31 when referred in june) its still vital.

If i didnt have my kids i wouldn't be as bothered but i just think summat will happen, i have 3 young children 2 have additional needs, i won't have left them that long before and i just think what if it goes wrong?! I know all being well i'll have a better life and i really do have faith in my hospital but im just scared to the point its now making me physically sick and constantly on my mind.

Has anyone else felt this way with having children? I just think if summat did happen they would think horrible of me in years to come :'(

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I can understand your fears I too have a child, ok he's grown up but you never stop being a mum do you??

Try turning the question around, what if you don't have the op and you have a stroke from high blood pressure due to excess weight, or any of the other related illnesses, also you could have something minor as a broken wrist and need an operation to put pins in, then you would need an operation anyway.

You can do this for yourself and for your little ones

I'm almost a year post bypass and I'm 10st 6 lighter, it really is worth it xx

 

[2nd chance Jo]

I can understand your fears I too have a child, ok he's grown up but you never stop being a mum do you??

Try turning the question around, what if you don't have the op and you have a stroke from high blood pressure due to excess weight, or any of the other related illnesses, also you could have something minor as a broken wrist and need an operation to put pins in, then you would need an operation anyway.

You can do this for yourself and for your little ones

I'm almost a year post bypass and I'm 10st 6 lighter, it really is worth it xx

Thank you butterfly I know your right i guess just think if something did go wrong my kids wouldn't understand.

I would never wish this weight battle on anyone but i think its genuinely hard for other's who are not going through it to understand and when some people/family where first told some straight away put it down to me doing it for my appearance. I have honestly not thought about how i will look the closest to thing would be me thinking wow i cant wait to be able to buy clothes from more shops and cheaper ones! I know its for my kids im doing it they shouldn't have to hear snide remarks people make or have there mum not being a proper mum.

Jus need to stop being a wuss!

By the way you have done amazing its seeing success stories like yours thats keeping me going, even if i am almost running he other way lol

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Thank you butterfly I know your right i guess just think if something did go wrong my kids wouldn't understand.

I would never wish this weight battle on anyone but i think its genuinely hard for other's who are not going through it to understand and when some people/family where first told some straight away put it down to me doing it for my appearance. I have honestly not thought about how i will look the closest to thing would be me thinking wow i cant wait to be able to buy clothes from more shops and cheaper ones! I know its for my kids im doing it they shouldn't have to hear snide remarks people make or have there mum not being a proper mum.

Jus need to stop being a wuss!

By the way you have done amazing its seeing success stories like yours thats keeping me going, even if i am almost running he other way lol

Well as I've lost all this weight I can easily run after you so theres no getting away :copon:

Seriously I do know where you are coming from xxx

If ever you want to vent or ask anything please feel free xx

 

[Bear]

Hey Jo. I'm a mum too. (2 little cherubs aged 12 & 8)

I think any one who is responsible for another person has the same thoughts that you're having. I had them right up to the point of lying on the table. You need to concentrate on your life post op and how much you're going to achieve.

I'd never spent a night away from my childen - although. God knows I've wanted to before. Lol

You'll be absolutely fine. Stay positive.

 

[Marcos]

Hi Jo,I'm a dad.my boy is 11yrs & we are best of friends.i had to go on my own to France for my bypass last month.he was worried for me,but I kept telling him what kind of a new dad will come back & what I'll soon be able to do with him.but to carry on the way I was things would just get worse.so sometimes (I told him)a little poison cures a greater Ill.just reading the positive results of so many,who feared just as you are but who now after losing so much weight say they wished they did it sooner.it will be on your lips this time next year,you'll see.oh & since the op 25 days ago I'm 35lb lighter.it ll be fine Jo,try to see the half FULL glass(the new 12 stone you).

 

[2nd chance Jo]

Thank you bear and butterfly it helps hearing it from people who have been there feels like sometime when my family try to reassure me that well what do they know they havent been through it!

To be honest bear im seriously hoping they give me something to chill me out before OP i could imagine me being like that getting myself in a frenzy

 

[2nd chance Jo]

Hi Jo,I'm a dad.my boy is 11yrs & we are best of friends.i had to go on my own to France for my bypass last month.he was worried for me,but I kept telling him what kind of a new dad will come back & what I'll soon be able to do with him.but to carry on the way I was things would just get worse.so sometimes (I told him)a little poison cures a greater Ill.just reading the positive results of so many,who feared just as you are but who now after losing so much weight say they wished they did it sooner.it will be on your lips this time next year,you'll see.oh & since the op 25 days ago I'm 35lb lighter.it ll be fine Jo,try to see the half FULL glass(the new 12 stone you).

Aw thanks marcos i think its becoming clearer i need to start seein it half full coz its empty at the moment and look forward to the new me. I just wanted to make sure these are common fears as i see soo many people looking forward to it and being excited. There is no way im backing out - dont worry

35lbs go you how you feeling a month out from the operation?

 

[Marcos]

Im battling with low energy levels,but everybody tells me it's what to expect after major surgery so I just have to ride it out & be patient.but I feel gr8 otherwise my stitches are healing good.& I'm eating well with a variety of meals.two weeks ago it was a different story,with not eating well & sleeping so much.its amazing how the body adjusts & adapts.we need to have a bit more faith in the miracle of our bodies & the experience of ones who wear the T-shirt.

 

[2nd chance Jo]

Im battling with low energy levels,but everybody tells me it's what to expect after major surgery so I just have to ride it out & be patient.but I feel gr8 otherwise my stitches are healing good.& I'm eating well with a variety of meals.two weeks ago it was a different story,with not eating well & sleeping so much.its amazing how the body adjusts & adapts.we need to have a bit more faith in the miracle of our bodies & the experience of ones who wear the T-shirt.

Glad your looking up in your recovery i suppose its just a matter of pushing on through those first few weeks

 

[Su2ie]

Nerves and fear are not the exclusive property of parents trust me!! I don't have children but I was still terrified!!! I felt like I was on a runaway train that I couldn't get off and just wanted to cry most of the time!!

It is perfectly normal to feel daunted, it is a big thing but you have to keep in mind why you're doing this and what the benefits are and the fact that they outweigh the risks by far.

You are in really great hands in Sunderland? They know what they're doing and have really great outcomes. You just have to trust them - easier said than done, I know!

I know it's hard to control but try not to stress yourself too much and keep thinking of all the great things you'll be able to do with your family afterwards. And we're all here to support you through it.

Good luck x

 

[2nd chance Jo]

Nerves and fear are not the exclusive property of parents trust me!! I don't have children but I was still terrified!!! I felt like I was on a runaway train that I couldn't get off and just wanted to cry most of the time!! It is perfectly normal to feel daunted, it is a big thing but you have to keep in mind why you're doing this and what the benefits are and the fact that they outweigh the risks by far. You are in really great hands in Sunderland? They know what they're doing and have really great outcomes. You just have to trust them - easier said than done, I know! I know it's hard to control but try not to stress yourself too much and keep thinking of all the great things you'll be able to do with your family afterwards. And we're all here to support you through it. Good luck x

No I know I'm more scared for my kids if summat where to happen and I mainly focus on that. When I wrote this I was just tryin to say if it was me then fine but I spend most of the worrying process thinking about them if things did go wrong and just wondered how other parents felt with this guilt as that's a lot of what I'm feeling.

But your right I do believe Sunderland are one of the best I do feel with it happening so quickly sometimes I feel unprepared, but I'm putting trust in them.

Thanks su2ie this forum is a great help unfortunately I am a born worrier, seriously I know I'm over the top lol

 

[Curls40]

I have two teenage boys, I did consider writing them letters, just incase I didn't wake up, but I never I kept looking on this site and reassuring myself ,

 

[2nd chance Jo]

I have two teenage boys, I did consider writing them letters, just incase I didn't wake up, but I never I kept looking on this site and reassuring myself ,

With my children 2, 5 and 6 i was also considering that myself but i think like you might have thought its like your saying you wont wake up, when i shouldnt be thinking that?! So just about having faith!! To be honest i have my good and bad days OK they mostly bad... its constantly on my mind but sometimes im like excited at what i will be able to do with my family. I'm soo sick of watching other people take my kids on rides etc things like that coz i knoow i wouldnt fit, it upsets me! People have mentioned how hard it is but soo worth it and hearing how there quality of like has changed is amazing - so i suppose a chance worth taking.