Gastric band, My journey, the thruth, the whole thruth and nothing but the thruth

[miserable]

Hi I am 28 years old and looking to get a gastric band, hopefully in October. I would like to think that i am fat girl with a pretty face! well so I have been told. :wave_cry:I have always been overweight and it is getting out of control, so want to sort myself out so i can start enjoying life rather than hiding from life! I have not enjoyed my 20's so i am dead set on enjoying my 30's!
After reading all the diaries on this forum (I promise i am not a stalker!) I have decided I will start one so hopefully it will help me sort my thoughts out etc... Because they are my biggest enemy, food is just the result of it! I don't believe i deserve anything good but it is not the case. I deserve the world and everyone on this great forum deserve the world!!!
So I will most probably be going on and on and on (i know i have started already ) so forgive me and you don't have to read it if you find it boring! lol.
So having my first appointment with Mr Singurdsson with THG on 10th September...Hoping to get the surgery in October fingers cross! I am nervous excited impatient. One minute I think OMG i won't be able to have this anymore or drink this anymore and then I think, well it is all this that got me into this mess and made me so unhappy about myself! So roll on 10th September and get the journey going

 

[mazbrad]

welcome miserable and gl on your hossie appointment , 10th sept not far awa so glll xx

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

Good luck on your journey. With the band eventually you will be able to enjoy most foods - just not in the amounts you take in now. The important thing to remember is that this is a lifestyle change - making good food choices and exercising as much as you can. You need to be clear in your mind that this is a change for life and not just for when you have lost the weight - like a conventional diet. You will be fine.

tranquil x

 

[Mgoody]

Hi Miserable - you've come to the right place ! I had my band almost 8 weeks ago and it certainly is a whole change of life but so much for the better. Youve made the hardest step and have your appointment -its completely naturalto have good days and bad but by making good use of the support network on here (as i have) which doesn't necessarily mean messaging and talking all the time - just reading about everyones diaries and journeys so far is inspirational but also exploiting the support of your provider - it's a llifelong journey, accept things will be bumpy at times, put 100% in and you wont go far wrong- welcome on board !

Michelle xxx

 

[miserable]

Thank you Michelle and Tranqil. This is what I want a change of life, I have managed to loose weight on traditional method, slimming clubs etc... but as mentionned before my head is my worse ennemy so i am looking for my band to be my support system that when i go through a rought patch i learn to deal with the issues and emotions attached to it rather than live in denial and use food as comfort! I am dead set on this and i cannot wait to get it moving xxx

 

[MrsPill]

Welcome Miserable- I really hope you'll be Happy soon
Loads of support on here and I look forward to reading your posts xx

 

[miserable]

Well just came back from the appointment with the surgeon! Boy what an emotional day. Went to bed last night with a very worried OH. He is scared about the operation and me not surviving it! He never had surgery of any kind so all new to him. I am very grateful I have someone that cares so much about me. Anyway went to bed, as you guest did not sleep very well and when I woke up I found my OH in tears reading about the horor stories about a lady who died after her second fill etc... Great start to the day. Anyway we debated and decided to go to the appointment and decide afterwards. It was so hard to find the place in Bristol and it seems everyone knew where it was if you were on foot, not with a car a stressed up me and upset OH and over excited dog! Great combo...not! Anyway, we finally got there and went to see the nurse first who looked through the file and questionnaire I had to fill prior to the appointment (medical history, weight problems etc...) took my blood pressure and weighted me. Good job I had lost 3 kgs compare to the doctors scales (guess which one i like the most!). Then it was onto meeting the surgeon. He is good, straight to the point but I like that. Answered ALL the questions I had plus about 3 pages worth of questions my OH had! At the end the surgeon did say to my OH, don't worry I understand you are only doing your job to look after your girl, which I though was nice. He could have said I am on tight schedule move on! All people where very nice but it does feels a bit like factury. One after the next if you see what I mean but hey they are there to make a living just like we do. So OH feels more relaxed about it and is very happy with the surgeon and I also feel a bit more ready for it. But this is such a roller coaster ride of emotions but it teaches you (I guess) that you have to start dealing with your emotions and food is no longer the quick fix. Anyway onwards and upwards. Hope you are all ok. xxxx

 

[miserable]

Hello Everyone,

I have my date, 13th October! OMG i don't know what to do with myself. I am scared and want to back out ever since i paid for my deposit! I wont of course I am just so scared. scared of the op, the recovery, the pain but also the lifestyle afterwards. Will I still be able to enjoy life? I need to explain what i mean, my life is mainly focus on food so taking that away and the enjoyment i get from it (positive or self destructive) food also defines how i am in a way, i don't like that person but i don't know any other so it feels like i am going to discover who i am and it is scary. Also i am not planning on telling anyone apart from my OH who is supportive (although is completely scared) so not sure how i am going to cope coming up with excuses for my new eating habits....

 

[voodoo]

Hi Mis, I wish it was so affordable in my 20s or 30s, I had to wait til I was 46! I'm sure you'll find new things to enjoy, normal clothes shops, fitting on seats, wolf whistles!
You can still enjoy food, just smaller portions, chewing SLOWLY, savouring it rather than gobbling it down - well I do anyway, or rather did! lol
Good luck, there's a lot of experienced banders on here to help you!
xxxx sharon

 

[kelley77]

Yay! U will be fine. After the Pre op & post op, I am now starting to settle back into normal life! I am on soft foods now so was made up to go to Eat at lunch time & buy a small pot of their low fat soup. Normally this would have been large, with bread & pudding. You will still be able to enjoy everything, just smaller portions. The op will be fine. The worst bit is going to theatre but everyone is so nice & ur asleep before u know it! Then ur awake and all done. The recovery depends on the person but I have had no issues. I also told only oh & parents & haven't had to lie to anyone yet. Best bit is, I have lost 2 stone in 4 weeks! Good luck, all will be good xxxxx

 

[flowerofshona]

Im the same Mis in terrifide and not even seen the surgeon yet !! Came through a big op 6 years ago but i have the same worries as you do but life like this is awful and i would love some of my life feeling fit and looking normal :cry:

 

[Miss hungry]

Hi, I'm glad your appointment went well. I also had great trouble finding the Bristol clinic the first time and about 3 times after that too! The second time I went was just as bad because we had got so lost the first time that I just couldn't remember the correct way.
just out of interest what part of Gloucestershire are you from?
I know it's easy to say but....try not to get too scared about your op. Honestly Iam the most nervous person you could ever meet, I dread going to the doctor and the smallest things i turn into a big deal. But, weirdly I was fine on surgery day. I felt really calm and totally ready to get on with it.
I was picked up at 7am by the driver (who luckly didn't chat) and an hour later was at the hospital. We had to wait in the reception for ages (which annoyed me). and then we were taken up to the ward. I had my own room with a bathroom and tv.
I had to have a shower and put on the gown and sock things (yuk!).
I had my bloods done and an ECG (lots of wires and sticky pads stuck all over my body by a lovely male nurse!). I was told by the first nurse when we arrived that I would probably have my op about 5pm, bearing in mind that it was 9.30am I was really pissed off.
so basically the next 8 and a half hours in that room with 2 magazines, the tv and my OH were the most boring of my entire life. god did I moan!!
FINALLY at 5.20pm it was my turn. I went upstairs with the nurse and waited for 5 mins outside the theatre and then went in. It was soooo bright!! and loads of people in there too! A lovely friendly woman said "god, you look terrified", My reply was "I'm not, I have a tremor with makes me look nervous and I'm totally dazzled by the brightness of this room!".
I had to lie down on the bed thing and very quickly a canular was put in to my left hand, injected and then I imediatly felt weird and drunk. I had to tell myself not to panic and that i'd be fine and then i was asleep.
The next moment I was being told that it had all gone well and it was done.
I think the surgery bit is easy, it's the after part that is more difficult. I know everyones is different but don't expect too much too soon. I first found this site when I was 1 week post op and had only lost 1 pound, and was utterly outraged! I was googling like mad to try and find out why i'd only lost a pound when I found my way here. My weightloss is 1-2 pounds per week and that might not seem much but it really adds up over time.
Like i've said before, if you ever want to ask me anything feel free.
xxx

 

[miserable]

Hi Miss Hungry, I live in cheltenham but i have a car so if you ever want to meet up for coffee i am your girl I don't have much expectation to be honest (well i have but no time related) i guess what i most looking forward after the op is not to have to worry about putting more and more weight on. So in a way i see it as prevention of future illness related to obesete. But i am looking for it as a friend to help my demons and a therapist to cure my relation with food, if that make sense.

i will post more this evening because it helps get my thoughts in order and get my head in gear. At the moment i feel like every meal i eat i need to make it "the last one!" not the right thing to do so please kick my buttom because i need a good telling off. see you all later xxx

 

[flutterby1966]

I agree ... No need to be terrified. male nurse was particularly lovely. Whole experience for me was fine and luckily I had my op before noon. You should have wifi in room too so you could use smartphone or laptop. As Miss Hungry says, best to be realistic ~ you should then not be disappointed. The more prepared you are, then you will be less likely to go off track. Your band is a tool designed to help you, but your mind is an even more powerful tool. Good luck xx

 

[Miss hungry]

Meeting up sometime would be nice. Don't feel guilty about what you are eating now, enjoy it! (iam the devil!). you've got untill your post op diet anyway.
My 'last bar of chocolate' was ENORMOUS!!! lol the biggest I could find! Although, turned out not to be the last of chocolate because a few weeks after my op was easter and I went right of the rails, I couldn't stop eating the bloody stuff! I only gained a pound that week though AND in the run up to easter I actually hadn't been eating eggs I'd bought for other people!
x

 

[joey80]

hey mis, i remember having my appointment wiv the surgeon, it felt like ages b4 i was gonna have op but here i am now on the milk diet ready to b banded on sun the 13th of oct will b here b4 u know it, good luck xxxx

 

[miserable]

Evening all,
thank you for all your nice words of wisdom and re-assurance, boy do i need it. So 4 weeks today and I should be banded. erkkk my stomach just flipped . Miss Hungry where do you live? Meeting up will be great maybe we could start our own support group SO pre-diet... Start on a thursday and no alcohol for 2 to 4 weeks which would have been fine but my brother and sister in law are coming over the week end before the op. So would be expected to have several drinks in normal times but because i don't want to have to explain myself i was wondering if I could get away with one glass of wine? Does it sounds bad that i cannot even go a week without respecting the rules?! arhh i need a head transplant as well as a gastric band! I am so angry because i only have myself to blame because i am the one who got me to where i am now, in this mess. BUT this is the first step forward in sorting my head and overcome my demons. As this is a diary, I am going to put my hopes and fears on here so hopefully looking back at it one day will help me.

Fears: Not waking up, i am not scared of diying, more scared about leaving my family behind to sort stuff out.
Not loosing weight!
Not finding myself
Not been happy
Food still rulling my life
Hopes: Enjoying going clothes shopping
Finding my style. I had this conversation with one of my colleague the other day and i was saying my style was casual smart and she replied well more casual than smart. It's all good banter but she has a point!
Go to Paris and see my other brother and go shopping with his girlfriend and be able to try clothes on from all the shops.
Have my boyfriend showing how much he wants me and like me not just saying to make me happy!
Be more confidence
Feel pretty
Reach a healthy BMI
and most of all, not to have this constant battle with food as a solution to all my emotions.
So here is to the next chapter with all its ups and downs!
xxx

 

[flowerofshona]

Can you not get some non alcohol wine in or some elder flwer cordial that looks like wine? You need to start thinking outside the box now hun so you will have an easer time after your op I have started to sort my head out and not seen the surgeon yet but wanted time to come to terms with the total change to my life.

 

[miserable]

Hi Flowerofshona,

Alcohol does not bother me, my last drink was 3 weeks ago and until i read your post i did not think about it so clearly not missing it. Its just my sister in law and I used to polish 3 bottles of wine between the two of us when i used to go and visit them in Devon. So she will wonder why i am not drinking or if i try to trick her into two different bottles (i.e her with the alcohol contain mine without) she will notice and start asking questions which I am not ready to answer. I will just have one small glass with lots of ice and make it last as long as possible. i checked with my provider and they are not too worried about my liver shrinking as i have a low BMI considering... (still makes me smile that irony!) Anyhow, this week as not been the best but defo as not been the worse and i am cutting down to 1,500 calories a day so gradually i will be within the 1,000 calories allowance and used to it. Although looking more into things i am shocket that 2 oranges squizzed (by me so nothing added) and two small apples is already over 300 calories! but with your help and time, i be more knowledgeable each day (she says...) Have a good afternoon and a good week end

 

[miserable]

Good morning all, hope u r all well.2 weeks today and I ll be going for my op .... oups I think my stomach turned upside down just typing this. So I thought I ll set some mini goals to keep me upbeat and keep going so 1st one: be around or under 200 pounds by christmas. 2nd start fitting into my old clothes small 16 or big 14. 3Rd ll be to have lost 3 stones by my birthday march 1st. So ll see how it goes...have a good day everyone xx