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A Chance to Start Again

Been a bit since I updated and since I'm sitting here watching the weather forecasts out of Oklahoma (gotta love tornado season!) I thought I'd say hey.

Things are going well at the moment and my stall FINALLY ended, albeit the weight is going far more slowly. Since surgery I've lost 24lbs/1st 7lbs, which doesn't sound like a huge amount to me, but meh, I know I'm still in the 'I want it all and I want it now' phase of the post-op honeymoon. When I look back though and include what I lost pre-op, I'm knocking on the door of 60lbs/4st down from my heaviest weight. I've now got about three pairs of jeans that I can't even bother wearing now because they pretty much just will fall off, which is awesome. People keep asking me about shopping sprees, but I'm like... uh... no? All my clothes were getting on the tight side before surgery, so most of my stuff is still ok for now.

There are moments when I wonder if they actually did anything to me at all because I've progressed really well onto 'normal' foods and haven't actually found much that gives me trouble. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased that it's all gone so smoothly so far, but in some ways I feel weird and worried about it because it just has felt too easy. There's a part of me that's waiting for the backlash. All the conflicting information about what is a healthy diet is messing with my head and I will admit that I still really need to start working harder on sorting that side of things out. My six week check is next Tuesday so I will discuss some of my concerns with them.

People have been very supportive and are quite happy to discuss my surgery and I'm often asked how much I've lost. Honestly I don't mind. Ever since I started this journey I've been very blunt and honest about what's going on with me. For some reason I've felt very strongly that I've needed to 'own' this experience and damn the naysayers, of which there have been few, and the few I've had to deal with I've just told them why this was so necessary for me and what exactly it's meant to me and how it's benefited me so far. After that, if they still have a problem, it's their problem and not mine.

I'm now completely off my anti-depressants and still feel really good and have had a lot of people tell me that I now sound like the 'Old Mandy'. Having said that, I realized today that I've been rather opinionated and remember my mom telling me when I was a kid that I was just that. Perhaps it got buried over the years and it's now making a reappearance! Or it could just be that I'm turning into a cranky old woman! lol

Swimming is going... swimmingly. I'm still really enjoying and am considering going five days a week. It's kind of surprised me that I don't really feel self-conscious wearing my bathing suit. Now, if I were down on the beach, it might be a different story (and I'm planning on finding out over the summer!), but it doesn't bother me even when there are kids at the pool. I can see that my thighs are becoming really dimpled and saggy, but oh well! My loose skin shall be a badge of honour. It will be a sign of all the work I've put in.

Sorry for the long post. TL;DR - I'm doing good, weight is going downward and I'm feeling pretty happy overall!
Great Post, so pleased for you everything is going well. I'm with you on the food front, everything seems to be going down too easy. My weight loss is also really slow, I wondered if I was eating too much, so today I tallied the calories, 663 lol, I don't think thats too much, just feels like it lol. I have my 6 week check before you, how has that worked out, I go this Wednesday!
I think it's a different ball game when we go on to proper solid food, I'm hoping that will be just as easy.
Good to hear from you x
 
Been a bit since I updated and since I'm sitting here watching the weather forecasts out of Oklahoma (gotta love tornado season!) I thought I'd say hey.

Things are going well at the moment and my stall FINALLY ended, albeit the weight is going far more slowly. Since surgery I've lost 24lbs/1st 7lbs, which doesn't sound like a huge amount to me, but meh, I know I'm still in the 'I want it all and I want it now' phase of the post-op honeymoon. When I look back though and include what I lost pre-op, I'm knocking on the door of 60lbs/4st down from my heaviest weight. I've now got about three pairs of jeans that I can't even bother wearing now because they pretty much just will fall off, which is awesome. People keep asking me about shopping sprees, but I'm like... uh... no? All my clothes were getting on the tight side before surgery, so most of my stuff is still ok for now.

There are moments when I wonder if they actually did anything to me at all because I've progressed really well onto 'normal' foods and haven't actually found much that gives me trouble. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased that it's all gone so smoothly so far, but in some ways I feel weird and worried about it because it just has felt too easy. There's a part of me that's waiting for the backlash. All the conflicting information about what is a healthy diet is messing with my head and I will admit that I still really need to start working harder on sorting that side of things out. My six week check is next Tuesday so I will discuss some of my concerns with them.

People have been very supportive and are quite happy to discuss my surgery and I'm often asked how much I've lost. Honestly I don't mind. Ever since I started this journey I've been very blunt and honest about what's going on with me. For some reason I've felt very strongly that I've needed to 'own' this experience and damn the naysayers, of which there have been few, and the few I've had to deal with I've just told them why this was so necessary for me and what exactly it's meant to me and how it's benefited me so far. After that, if they still have a problem, it's their problem and not mine.

I'm now completely off my anti-depressants and still feel really good and have had a lot of people tell me that I now sound like the 'Old Mandy'. Having said that, I realized today that I've been rather opinionated and remember my mom telling me when I was a kid that I was just that. Perhaps it got buried over the years and it's now making a reappearance! Or it could just be that I'm turning into a cranky old woman! lol

Swimming is going... swimmingly. I'm still really enjoying and am considering going five days a week. It's kind of surprised me that I don't really feel self-conscious wearing my bathing suit. Now, if I were down on the beach, it might be a different story (and I'm planning on finding out over the summer!), but it doesn't bother me even when there are kids at the pool. I can see that my thighs are becoming really dimpled and saggy, but oh well! My loose skin shall be a badge of honour. It will be a sign of all the work I've put in.

Sorry for the long post. TL;DR - I'm doing good, weight is going downward and I'm feeling pretty happy overall!
FANTASTIC, your obviously eating fairly well for things to be going so smoothly, keep up the brilliant work and enjoy the swimming xxx
 
Today was my 6 week (nearly 7...) post op and all went well. The last week I've been feeling a lot of unexplained anger and frustration, although I think this was largely because I felt I wasn't making any progress and was half waiting to be told how crap I'd done over the last few weeks. Turns out I've done a little over what they expected. According to their scales I've lost 8.8kg since surgery. My scales say I've lost 24lbs, so I'm sticking with that. I wish I could say that I came away from there feeling happy and pleased, but I didn't. This wasn't helped by my husband ranting and raving about how inefficient the system is, they could have done all of this by phone, blah blah blah... I hear this nearly every time we go and honestly I do really agree with him by and large, but oh my sweet Lord, I am so sick of this particular record. To make matters worse, the traffic on the way back was absolutely appalling so it only made him rant more. I'm done with that and have told him he never has to go back. Ever. I will find a friend to go with me. He keeps telling me that I should mess them about now and start cancelling appointments and just generally start being obstructive, and as much as I would love to do this because driving 3 hours for a 10 minute appointment is beyond craptastic, this surgery wasn't about making him happy. I did this for me so he can like it or lump it.

Sorry this isn't as happy a post as some of my more recent ones, I just feel exhausted tonight.
 
Today was my 6 week (nearly 7...) post op and all went well. The last week I've been feeling a lot of unexplained anger and frustration, although I think this was largely because I felt I wasn't making any progress and was half waiting to be told how crap I'd done over the last few weeks. Turns out I've done a little over what they expected. According to their scales I've lost 8.8kg since surgery. My scales say I've lost 24lbs, so I'm sticking with that. I wish I could say that I came away from there feeling happy and pleased, but I didn't. This wasn't helped by my husband ranting and raving about how inefficient the system is, they could have done all of this by phone, blah blah blah... I hear this nearly every time we go and honestly I do really agree with him by and large, but oh my sweet Lord, I am so sick of this particular record. To make matters worse, the traffic on the way back was absolutely appalling so it only made him rant more. I'm done with that and have told him he never has to go back. Ever. I will find a friend to go with me. He keeps telling me that I should mess them about now and start cancelling appointments and just generally start being obstructive, and as much as I would love to do this because driving 3 hours for a 10 minute appointment is beyond craptastic, this surgery wasn't about making him happy. I did this for me so he can like it or lump it.

Sorry this isn't as happy a post as some of my more recent ones, I just feel exhausted tonight.
Glad the post op appointment went well, I have mine tomorrow. I have a friend driving me as I just couldn't drive all that way at the moment, way too tired and plus I also hate that journey and the fact that mostly that could do a phone or Skype consultation, but it must be draining hearing the same gripes about it, when it's just something we have to do, just part and parcel of this journey. Anyway well done on the weight loss, I've only lost 18lbs, I shouldn't say only really, as 18lbs in 6weeks is pretty good, just feels really slow lol. When did they say your next appointment would be? x
 
Glad the post op appointment went well, I have mine tomorrow. I have a friend driving me as I just couldn't drive all that way at the moment, way too tired and plus I also hate that journey and the fact that mostly that could do a phone or Skype consultation, but it must be draining hearing the same gripes about it, when it's just something we have to do, just part and parcel of this journey. Anyway well done on the weight loss, I've only lost 18lbs, I shouldn't say only really, as 18lbs in 6weeks is pretty good, just feels really slow lol. When did they say your next appointment would be? x

That is so weird how our post-ops were so close together although our surgeries were a couple weeks apart. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow! You should be so, so proud of what you've accomplished in total, both pre-op and post-op. I've decided to start looking at my weight loss in that way and when I do, it really does make me pleased with what I've accomplished and what I will continue to accomplish! I do know what you mean about it feeling so slow though. lol

I've not got a date, but they said in 6 weeks I'll need to go back and then they'll run a load of blood tests to see what my levels are and stuff. And they'll undoubtedly check for diabetes. Again. Because no one ever seems to read the files. I'll probably have to tell them all my meds. Again. And they won't listen. It's like me telling them repeatedly that I couldn't take codeine and they sent me home with a big box of it.
 
So here's a pic of me at my heaviest back in October '17 and a pic I took today. When I can see it side by side, the difference is amazing!

IMG_7739 (2).JPG DSC_0032.jpg
 
That is so weird how our post-ops were so close together although our surgeries were a couple weeks apart. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow! You should be so, so proud of what you've accomplished in total, both pre-op and post-op. I've decided to start looking at my weight loss in that way and when I do, it really does make me pleased with what I've accomplished and what I will continue to accomplish! I do know what you mean about it feeling so slow though. lol

I've not got a date, but they said in 6 weeks I'll need to go back and then they'll run a load of blood tests to see what my levels are and stuff. And they'll undoubtedly check for diabetes. Again. Because no one ever seems to read the files. I'll probably have to tell them all my meds. Again. And they won't listen. It's like me telling them repeatedly that I couldn't take codeine and they sent me home with a big box of it.
I got the same, she did tell me a date for 6 weeks time, but can't remember what it was, because she just said I'll send it through the post. She said next time blood tests, I really hope I'm not going all that way just for that when my GP could do it and send it through.
I agree they have all that info on us, but repeatedly ask the same questions. That's proper dodgy giving you meds you can't take! x
 
Today was my 6 week (nearly 7...) post op and all went well. The last week I've been feeling a lot of unexplained anger and frustration, although I think this was largely because I felt I wasn't making any progress and was half waiting to be told how crap I'd done over the last few weeks. Turns out I've done a little over what they expected. According to their scales I've lost 8.8kg since surgery. My scales say I've lost 24lbs, so I'm sticking with that. I wish I could say that I came away from there feeling happy and pleased, but I didn't. This wasn't helped by my husband ranting and raving about how inefficient the system is, they could have done all of this by phone, blah blah blah... I hear this nearly every time we go and honestly I do really agree with him by and large, but oh my sweet Lord, I am so sick of this particular record. To make matters worse, the traffic on the way back was absolutely appalling so it only made him rant more. I'm done with that and have told him he never has to go back. Ever. I will find a friend to go with me. He keeps telling me that I should mess them about now and start cancelling appointments and just generally start being obstructive, and as much as I would love to do this because driving 3 hours for a 10 minute appointment is beyond craptastic, this surgery wasn't about making him happy. I did this for me so he can like it or lump it.

Sorry this isn't as happy a post as some of my more recent ones, I just feel exhausted tonight.
Aw love yer, it really is such a drag but to have to listen to that as well must be emotionally exhausting, take care my love and very well dine on the loss xxx
 
Glad the post op appointment went well, I have mine tomorrow. I have a friend driving me as I just couldn't drive all that way at the moment, way too tired and plus I also hate that journey and the fact that mostly that could do a phone or Skype consultation, but it must be draining hearing the same gripes about it, when it's just something we have to do, just part and parcel of this journey. Anyway well done on the weight loss, I've only lost 18lbs, I shouldn't say only really, as 18lbs in 6weeks is pretty good, just feels really slow lol. When did they say your next appointment would be? x
Most definitely not ONLY that’s a great amount and nothing can take away the incredible loss pre-op which you achieved on your own, your amazing xx
 
Most definitely not ONLY that’s a great amount and nothing can take away the incredible loss pre-op which you achieved on your own, your amazing xx
Thank you:) xx
 
So today I've hit 9 weeks and since surgery I've lost 32lbs/2.2st/14.15kg now which brings my total weight loss to 67lbs/4.7st/29kg. To put that in perspective, my husband and I went into Lidl last night and they had 8kg kettle bells on sale. I tried to pick up 4 of them in one go and it really made me realize just how much I was carrying around and it shocked me. I guess when it's spread out over your body, you learn to cope with it, but dang... still took me by surprise.

I've had the first of my nail classes and absolutely loved it and can't wait for the rest of the course! In the meantime, I've started applying for new jobs.

Heh... one of the 'side effects' I've found from this surgery is that I'm not letting people kick me about like I was. In fact, I got so mad a couple Sundays ago that I kicked off before the service and walked out. I get so sick of never being able to just go and be in a service and worship. As soon as I walk in the door, I get pounced on and I have to fix problems. Well, this particular Sunday, they went as far as calling my house to make sure I was going to be there and then hounded me out in the car park while I was enjoying my breakfast protein shake/smoothie. Then, when I did get in, no word of hello or anything like that, I was instantly told off. So I snapped. And I don't feel the least bit apologetic for it! At the very least, they're all very wary of me at the moment and I hope it lasts for a bit.
 
Go you, I love that your standing up for yourself now, long may it continue, 4 kettlebell!! Wow that’s incredible well done, you certainly sound like your rocking this wls, keep up the good work.
I’m looking forward to seeing some pictures of your nail creations too xx
 
So today I've hit 9 weeks and since surgery I've lost 32lbs/2.2st/14.15kg now which brings my total weight loss to 67lbs/4.7st/29kg. To put that in perspective, my husband and I went into Lidl last night and they had 8kg kettle bells on sale. I tried to pick up 4 of them in one go and it really made me realize just how much I was carrying around and it shocked me. I guess when it's spread out over your body, you learn to cope with it, but dang... still took me by surprise.

I've had the first of my nail classes and absolutely loved it and can't wait for the rest of the course! In the meantime, I've started applying for new jobs.

Heh... one of the 'side effects' I've found from this surgery is that I'm not letting people kick me about like I was. In fact, I got so mad a couple Sundays ago that I kicked off before the service and walked out. I get so sick of never being able to just go and be in a service and worship. As soon as I walk in the door, I get pounced on and I have to fix problems. Well, this particular Sunday, they went as far as calling my house to make sure I was going to be there and then hounded me out in the car park while I was enjoying my breakfast protein shake/smoothie. Then, when I did get in, no word of hello or anything like that, I was instantly told off. So I snapped. And I don't feel the least bit apologetic for it! At the very least, they're all very wary of me at the moment and I hope it lasts for a bit.
Great weight loss in 9 weeks, well done. It is mad about the kettle bells,, it really does make you wonder doesn't it. Good for you standing up for yourself, don't be any bodies doormat, sounds like it was long over due telling them where to get off, hopefully they will think twice about it in future, but don't hold you breath with people like that, they might need telling again!
Good luck with the job search and I hope you make a success of the nail venture x
 
lol, well, I made a bit of a prat of myself today.

Today we decided to have a BBQ to celebrate my oldest's 17th birthday as well as Father's Day as the weather tomorrow has a chance of being rotten. Now, y'all, BBQs have always kind of been my signature thing simply because of being an American and in Oklahoma we do tend to take our BBQing seriously. The order of the day is food and lots of it along with sides. Then my son requested that I bake him a cheesecake for his birthday, which I did.

So what did my stupid a$$ do? Ate and drank far too much and food that was far too rich. Talk about dumping. I thought I was going to be sick everywhere at one point and ended up having to go lay down for a bit until the worst of it passed. I feel like such a fool, really and I feel ashamed of myself. Why did I do it? When I loaded up my plate, even though I was only taking small bits of stuff, I knew it was too much. And then I sat down and instead of taking my time and taking small bites, I started wolfing it down and washing it down with drink.

I guess I should just chalk it up to a lesson learned!
 
lol, well, I made a bit of a prat of myself today.

Today we decided to have a BBQ to celebrate my oldest's 17th birthday as well as Father's Day as the weather tomorrow has a chance of being rotten. Now, y'all, BBQs have always kind of been my signature thing simply because of being an American and in Oklahoma we do tend to take our BBQing seriously. The order of the day is food and lots of it along with sides. Then my son requested that I bake him a cheesecake for his birthday, which I did.

So what did my stupid a$$ do? Ate and drank far too much and food that was far too rich. Talk about dumping. I thought I was going to be sick everywhere at one point and ended up having to go lay down for a bit until the worst of it passed. I feel like such a fool, really and I feel ashamed of myself. Why did I do it? When I loaded up my plate, even though I was only taking small bits of stuff, I knew it was too much. And then I sat down and instead of taking my time and taking small bites, I started wolfing it down and washing it down with drink.

I guess I should just chalk it up to a lesson learned!
Aw @OkieGirl we’ve all done it, well most of us, your right it’s a lesson learned, although I’ve done it more than once, it’s easy to get carried away, maybe it’s lack of concentration, sort of eyes of the ball when we are socialising or maybe it’s a touch of rebellion as in yep I can eat normally, my pouch will be fine.....not !!! Who knows, we’re you actually sick? Thankfully that’s not happened to me...yet..the thought of it terrifies me xxx
 
lol, well, I made a bit of a prat of myself today.

Today we decided to have a BBQ to celebrate my oldest's 17th birthday as well as Father's Day as the weather tomorrow has a chance of being rotten. Now, y'all, BBQs have always kind of been my signature thing simply because of being an American and in Oklahoma we do tend to take our BBQing seriously. The order of the day is food and lots of it along with sides. Then my son requested that I bake him a cheesecake for his birthday, which I did.

So what did my stupid a$$ do? Ate and drank far too much and food that was far too rich. Talk about dumping. I thought I was going to be sick everywhere at one point and ended up having to go lay down for a bit until the worst of it passed. I feel like such a fool, really and I feel ashamed of myself. Why did I do it? When I loaded up my plate, even though I was only taking small bits of stuff, I knew it was too much. And then I sat down and instead of taking my time and taking small bites, I started wolfing it down and washing it down with drink.

I guess I should just chalk it up to a lesson learned!
I can totally sympathise with you as last night I had the very worst ever episode of dumping. Worse than gall stone pain from 20 years ago. Went on for 3 hours, would have been better if I could have been sick. Thank goodness I am better now and hope you are too xxxx
 
@Bling Babe you're right about there being a touch of rebellion in doing stuff like that. I've read and seen videos about how all bariatric patients eventually try it because they hit that point where they just think, "I just want to eat more, damn it!" Again, lesson learned and it also reminds me why I had this surgery in the first place!

@Maria61 Thankfully the dumping passed after about 45 minutes - hour, but geez... My in-laws were here and I just had to go off on my own for a bit because even conversation was making me feel sick! In some ways I wish I had been sick because better out than in? No idea. Even the lingering smell of smoke from the BBQ made me feel nauseous and I was glad when I could get a shower to get rid of it.

Something I did notice yesterday, and maybe I just was imagining it, no one seemed to eat as much as they usually do at one of my BBQs. It's like there was this unspoken thing that they kind of felt bad because I couldn't eat as much as they could. Again, I could have been imagining it, but I had a tonne of leftovers.

Needless to say, I have been incredibly gentle and careful with myself today! lol
 
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