A Chance to Start Again

[Bling Babe]

I can totally sympathise with you as last night I had the very worst ever episode of dumping. Worse than gall stone pain from 20 years ago. Went on for 3 hours, would have been better if I could have been sick. Thank goodness I am better now and hope you are too xxxx

Aw no that’s awful I’m glad your feeling better today xx

 

[Maria61]

@Bling Babe you're right about there being a touch of rebellion in doing stuff like that. I've read and seen videos about how all bariatric patients eventually try it because they hit that point where they just think, "I just want to eat more, damn it!" Again, lesson learned and it also reminds me why I had this surgery in the first place!

@Maria61 Thankfully the dumping passed after about 45 minutes - hour, but geez... My in-laws were here and I just had to go off on my own for a bit because even conversation was making me feel sick! In some ways I wish I had been sick because better out than in? No idea. Even the lingering smell of smoke from the BBQ made me feel nauseous and I was glad when I could get a shower to get rid of it.

Something I did notice yesterday, and maybe I just was imagining it, no one seemed to eat as much as they usually do at one of my BBQs. It's like there was this unspoken thing that they kind of felt bad because I couldn't eat as much as they could. Again, I could have been imagining it, but I had a tonne of leftovers.

Needless to say, I have been incredibly gentle and careful with myself today! lol

Just got back from family bbq and I was very careful with my eating x

 

[Sarnie]

lol, well, I made a bit of a prat of myself today.

Today we decided to have a BBQ to celebrate my oldest's 17th birthday as well as Father's Day as the weather tomorrow has a chance of being rotten. Now, y'all, BBQs have always kind of been my signature thing simply because of being an American and in Oklahoma we do tend to take our BBQing seriously. The order of the day is food and lots of it along with sides. Then my son requested that I bake him a cheesecake for his birthday, which I did.

So what did my stupid a$$ do? Ate and drank far too much and food that was far too rich. Talk about dumping. I thought I was going to be sick everywhere at one point and ended up having to go lay down for a bit until the worst of it passed. I feel like such a fool, really and I feel ashamed of myself. Why did I do it? When I loaded up my plate, even though I was only taking small bits of stuff, I knew it was too much. And then I sat down and instead of taking my time and taking small bites, I started wolfing it down and washing it down with drink.

I guess I should just chalk it up to a lesson learned!

Certainly is a learning curve, I honestly think it takes ages for our brains to catch up with the magnitude of what we have done to our stomachs, especially when like you say on a normal day things are a bit too easy. Then faced with that situation, one part of you knows, but the other part forgets and thinks back to the old stomach. But you won't do that too often before your brain will say sod that I'm not going through that again. Hope you are feeling better now x

 

[Sarnie]

I can totally sympathise with you as last night I had the very worst ever episode of dumping. Worse than gall stone pain from 20 years ago. Went on for 3 hours, would have been better if I could have been sick. Thank goodness I am better now and hope you are too xxxx

Sounds awful Maria, your pouch was giving you a wake up call. It must be so hard after years of eating what we want. I can imagine further down the line I'm going to cock up somewhere, where my eyes are literally bigger than my belly! Glad you're feeling better now xx

 

[Sarnie]

Hiya, how are you doing? x

 

[OkieGirl]

Hiya, how are you doing? x

I'm alright, just been busy. I had my 3 month check today and what an utter pain in the butt that was. I got to the hospital half an hour early but because they have shut down one of the car parks to set up a marquee tent, parking was more hellish than usual which made me 15 minutes late for my appointment. The charming b*tch on the desk got snotty with me which then meant I was snotty to the dietitian who told me that although I was within the expected weight loss range, it was on the lower end. I can't even remember how much he said I'd lost since last time. 15kg? I think? Don't know. Don't really care. I told him that I was doing everything I'd been told and we went through my diet, to which he said it sounded spot on but suggested that I do a journal over the next few days and make sure to record everything just to make sure that I wasn't letting tidbits sneak in. The only thing that did go kind of right today was that I went to have my blood drawn and got straight in, which was nice.

I did the drive to Luton and back sans husband today and now I'm just tired and pissed off. Oh well.

Oh, and apparently they are getting rid of one of their car parks on a permanent basis. What drug are they all raiding from the stores, because... seriously? Probably some prat who bikes everywhere and thinks cars are the greatest evil known to man.

On a positive note, we now have a new puppy! His name is Alfie and he's a miniature poodle. He's quite sweet.

 

[Bling Babe]

I'm alright, just been busy. I had my 3 month check today and what an utter pain in the butt that was. I got to the hospital half an hour early but because they have shut down one of the car parks to set up a marquee tent, parking was more hellish than usual which made me 15 minutes late for my appointment. The charming b*tch on the desk got snotty with me which then meant I was snotty to the dietitian who told me that although I was within the expected weight loss range, it was on the lower end. I can't even remember how much he said I'd lost since last time. 15kg? I think? Don't know. Don't really care. I told him that I was doing everything I'd been told and we went through my diet, to which he said it sounded spot on but suggested that I do a journal over the next few days and make sure to record everything just to make sure that I wasn't letting tidbits sneak in. The only thing that did go kind of right today was that I went to have my blood drawn and got straight in, which was nice.

I did the drive to Luton and back sans husband today and now I'm just tired and pissed off. Oh well.

Oh, and apparently they are getting rid of one of their car parks on a permanent basis. What drug are they all raiding from the stores, because... seriously? Probably some prat who bikes everywhere and thinks cars are the greatest evil known to man.

On a positive note, we now have a new puppy! His name is Alfie and he's a miniature poodle. He's quite sweet.

How awful for you, I’m glad your not hung up on what the dietician told you, your doing just fine, the puppy sounds cute and I always use Just Park when we visit Luton parking is horrendous without them closing a car park permanently. You keep up the excellent work xxx

 

[OkieGirl]

How awful for you, I’m glad your not hung up on what the dietician told you, your doing just fine, the puppy sounds cute and I always use Just Park when we visit Luton parking is horrendous without them closing a car park permanently. You keep up the excellent work xxx

Thanks Bling. I wish I could say that I'm not letting what he said get to me, but it really is bothering me. It's made me feel really panicky and like I've totally failed. Ugh... and Richie just keeps saying that I should just tell them to eff off. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

I think the next time I'm going to give Just Park a go because I'm so fed up with the parking situation there.

This is Alfie:

 

[Sarnie]

I'm alright, just been busy. I had my 3 month check today and what an utter pain in the butt that was. I got to the hospital half an hour early but because they have shut down one of the car parks to set up a marquee tent, parking was more hellish than usual which made me 15 minutes late for my appointment. The charming b*tch on the desk got snotty with me which then meant I was snotty to the dietitian who told me that although I was within the expected weight loss range, it was on the lower end. I can't even remember how much he said I'd lost since last time. 15kg? I think? Don't know. Don't really care. I told him that I was doing everything I'd been told and we went through my diet, to which he said it sounded spot on but suggested that I do a journal over the next few days and make sure to record everything just to make sure that I wasn't letting tidbits sneak in. The only thing that did go kind of right today was that I went to have my blood drawn and got straight in, which was nice.

I did the drive to Luton and back sans husband today and now I'm just tired and pissed off. Oh well.

Oh, and apparently they are getting rid of one of their car parks on a permanent basis. What drug are they all raiding from the stores, because... seriously? Probably some prat who bikes everywhere and thinks cars are the greatest evil known to man.

On a positive note, we now have a new puppy! His name is Alfie and he's a miniature poodle. He's quite sweet.

It is horrendous, I've had a bit of an argument with them over the phone myself about the receptionist and the fact I couldn't get to my appointment on the 17th July, but she insisted that I couldn't have a Tuesday appointment and I'd have to come in the 17th, even though I couldn't get there, now miraculously they have given me a Tuesday appointment. Still doesn't solve the problem of how I'm going to get to future appointments, I have no one to bring me and my car is not reliable. I can't believe they are taking away a car park, that's ridiculous!
I didn't think they were too worried about weight loss as long as you are losing. If you are happy with the way things are going I wouldn't worry. The journey alone is bad enough without all the other hassle you've had. I know I'm driving all that way just for a blood test basically, they refused to let me doctor do it and send it through or give me a phone consultation.
The cute puppy will keep you smiling. x

 

[Sarnie]

Thanks Bling. I wish I could say that I'm not letting what he said get to me, but it really is bothering me. It's made me feel really panicky and like I've totally failed. Ugh... and Richie just keeps saying that I should just tell them to eff off. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

I think the next time I'm going to give Just Park a go because I'm so fed up with the parking situation there.

This is Alfie:

Did you feel you were doing good before you had that bloody appointment? I bet you did, which means you are,, don't take it to heart hun,, you are not a failure, you're doing great x
Puppy is so adorable x

 

[OkieGirl]

Did you feel you were doing good before you had that bloody appointment? I bet you did, which means you are,, don't take it to heart hun,, you are not a failure, you're doing great x
Puppy is so adorable x

I did feel like I was doing well and went in there expecting to be told that I was. It took ages, but I finally broke through that stall and have consistently been losing 2-3 lbs a week since. As much as these dietitians might know their job, they don't seem to have any kind of clue about the impact of their words. I've never seen this bloke today either, so I'm thinking he must be new. Not that that means anything because it seems to be a bit of a revolving door there anyhow.

Alfie is sweet, but I will be glad when he's housebroken, we can finally take him for walks, and for him to become friends with my in-laws' dog!

 

[Bling Babe]

Thanks Bling. I wish I could say that I'm not letting what he said get to me, but it really is bothering me. It's made me feel really panicky and like I've totally failed. Ugh... and Richie just keeps saying that I should just tell them to eff off. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

I think the next time I'm going to give Just Park a go because I'm so fed up with the parking situation there.

This is Alfie:

Oh my days...soooooo adorably, honestly hun, your doing great, everyone is different, don’t stress about it because it will mess with your head xxx

 

[Sarnie]

I did feel like I was doing well and went in there expecting to be told that I was. It took ages, but I finally broke through that stall and have consistently been losing 2-3 lbs a week since. As much as these dietitians might know their job, they don't seem to have any kind of clue about the impact of their words. I've never seen this bloke today either, so I'm thinking he must be new. Not that that means anything because it seems to be a bit of a revolving door there anyhow.

Alfie is sweet, but I will be glad when he's housebroken, we can finally take him for walks, and for him to become friends with my in-laws' dog!

2- 3lbs a week is great, a lot of people stall early on including me. I would let it wash over you hun.
Hope not long before you can talk Alfie for walks? x

 

[Maria61]

Thanks Bling. I wish I could say that I'm not letting what he said get to me, but it really is bothering me. It's made me feel really panicky and like I've totally failed. Ugh... and Richie just keeps saying that I should just tell them to eff off. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

I think the next time I'm going to give Just Park a go because I'm so fed up with the parking situation there.

This is Alfie:

Good to hear from you Okie girl and well done on your loss. I also use Just Park when I gp to Luton. Puppy very cute xxx

 

[OkieGirl]

Wow, been away a while and the forum got a makeover.

I'm doing a lot better since my last entry. A few days after my trip to Luton I got a copy of the letter that they sent to my doctor and there is no way in this world that their scales were right if that letter was anything to go by. According to that it said that I was 20lbs heavier than I was weighing on my home scales! Now, don't get me wrong, I know that my scales won't be spot on, but I really cannot believe that that they were 20lbs out that day when they've always been pretty much in agreement within 2-3lbs with what the scales at Luton show. Oh well. The next time I go in, I will make sure to weigh myself at home in kg so I can play up if their scales are so far out.

At any rate, I'm still losing about 2-3lbs a week which means I'm now down to 322lbs/23st/146kg. I now weigh (2lbs) less than when I graduated high school in 1995! Never thought I'd see this weight again. The weird thing is, although logically I know I'm still very large, in comparison to where I started, I actually feel pretty thin. It's kind of messing with my head a bit.

We now have Alfie and he's nearly housebroken but we've got one more week before we can take him for walks. Not that I'd want to take him out in this heat anyhow.

Hope everyone else is keeping well and as cool as possible in this weather!

 

[Maria61]

All good here but how shocking about those scales. You are doing very well xx

 

[Sarnie]

Wow, been away a while and the forum got a makeover.

I'm doing a lot better since my last entry. A few days after my trip to Luton I got a copy of the letter that they sent to my doctor and there is no way in this world that their scales were right if that letter was anything to go by. According to that it said that I was 20lbs heavier than I was weighing on my home scales! Now, don't get me wrong, I know that my scales won't be spot on, but I really cannot believe that that they were 20lbs out that day when they've always been pretty much in agreement within 2-3lbs with what the scales at Luton show. Oh well. The next time I go in, I will make sure to weigh myself at home in kg so I can play up if their scales are so far out.

At any rate, I'm still losing about 2-3lbs a week which means I'm now down to 322lbs/23st/146kg. I now weigh (2lbs) less than when I graduated high school in 1995! Never thought I'd see this weight again. The weird thing is, although logically I know I'm still very large, in comparison to where I started, I actually feel pretty thin. It's kind of messing with my head a bit.

We now have Alfie and he's nearly housebroken but we've got one more week before we can take him for walks. Not that I'd want to take him out in this heat anyhow.

Hope everyone else is keeping well and as cool as possible in this weather!

The forum makeover only happened today lol.
That's a big discrepancy, I think Luton need to get their act together all round to be honest. You're doing very well, great weekly losses and you'll soon be out with your pup. x

 

[Bling Babe]

Wow, been away a while and the forum got a makeover.

I'm doing a lot better since my last entry. A few days after my trip to Luton I got a copy of the letter that they sent to my doctor and there is no way in this world that their scales were right if that letter was anything to go by. According to that it said that I was 20lbs heavier than I was weighing on my home scales! Now, don't get me wrong, I know that my scales won't be spot on, but I really cannot believe that that they were 20lbs out that day when they've always been pretty much in agreement within 2-3lbs with what the scales at Luton show. Oh well. The next time I go in, I will make sure to weigh myself at home in kg so I can play up if their scales are so far out.

At any rate, I'm still losing about 2-3lbs a week which means I'm now down to 322lbs/23st/146kg. I now weigh (2lbs) less than when I graduated high school in 1995! Never thought I'd see this weight again. The weird thing is, although logically I know I'm still very large, in comparison to where I started, I actually feel pretty thin. It's kind of messing with my head a bit.

We now have Alfie and he's nearly housebroken but we've got one more week before we can take him for walks. Not that I'd want to take him out in this heat anyhow.

Hope everyone else is keeping well and as cool as possible in this weather!

No they have mis recorded your weight, they done the same on my discharge letter stating I was lighter than I was, you still doing fantastically, keep up the good work xx

 

[OkieGirl]

Ok, so currently I'm experiencing a 'thing'.

Has anyone else on here had a moment where you are actually mad about having surgery not because of any of the normal reasons (miss fave foods, which you could just normal amounts, etc.) but because you're mad that your body is finally going to look normal but your face is growing older? I feel so mad about it! I'm 42 and my life is half over and for the majority of my life my face was the one thing about me that I didn't mind and actually thought was attractive. Now it seems that over the last two weeks all I can see are the fine lines and wrinkles, the terrible skin texture and that damned hyperpigmentation on my forehead that looks like a smear of dirt. The irony? I've actually had people tell me that I look younger since having surgery and I'm like... wut. It's stupid, and vain, and I've never considered myself to be a vain person but maybe I'm far more concerned about my appearance than I ever thought! I find it very annoying. And it actually is making me mad AF.

 

[Bling Babe]

Ok, so currently I'm experiencing a 'thing'.

Has anyone else on here had a moment where you are actually mad about having surgery not because of any of the normal reasons (miss fave foods, which you could just normal amounts, etc.) but because you're mad that your body is finally going to look normal but your face is growing older? I feel so mad about it! I'm 42 and my life is half over and for the majority of my life my face was the one thing about me that I didn't mind and actually thought was attractive. Now it seems that over the last two weeks all I can see are the fine lines and wrinkles, the terrible skin texture and that damned hyperpigmentation on my forehead that looks like a smear of dirt. The irony? I've actually had people tell me that I look younger since having surgery and I'm like... wut. It's stupid, and vain, and I've never considered myself to be a vain person but maybe I'm far more concerned about my appearance than I ever thought! I find it very annoying. And it actually is making me mad AF.

Aw Okie, I can’t say I relate to your feelings but I have become very wrinkly and I don’t like it!!! It doesn’t make me mad but it does upset me I guess are my feelings, I don’t regret surgery though. I don’t think your being vain in any way and most definitely not stupid, I hope these feelings pass by soon and you feel able to happily accept the well deserved compliments from other people xxx