SunnyJ band 25th October 2015

[MrsBeaver]

Lost a stone since started my pre op 2 weeks ago. Happy with that. I know it will slow down eventually. I cant wait for the next stage....been graving mash potato with gravy....i will probably live on that for a week haha.

 

[sunnyJ]

Well done on the weight loss Mrs b

 

[sunnyJ]

I've had a day out today and I feel so much better! Wind is getting easier too... I've eaten today as well (a whole soup, a whole shake X 2 and half a cup of soup a whooping 600 Cals approx lol ) and booked my first fill, so all in all a good day

I've also had an emotional outburst of crying with my ex but I need to get used to feeling emotions rather than avoiding them with food.

I also think I need to check the pc version of this forum because there were a couple of other banders diaries that I can't see on my mobile app and I want to check up on how they're doing

 

[sunnyJ]

So awake at 4.30 am ... Horrendous nightmare about work!! My brain is really throwing some emotional stuff up. It was so vivid as well... Untrue ...but vivid. I was getting bullied really badly at work for being fat and everyone was laughing when I complained and were going on about my huge arse!! So I reckon it's cos I got bullied at school for having a fat arse , think stereo typical black lady athlete bum and that's my shape, which in 1980s Yorkshire when you're not a black lady seemed to be a big deal! I was bullied for being fat when I was only 9st and super fit at the time! I decided I wanted surgery about a year ago but I knew I have been using food for stress, emotions I don't want etc as a coping crutch for life. So I knew I would need some emotional changes and it would bring up stuff I would have to deal with. This past bullying (and it was really bad) for being fat is obviously one of them! No doubt there will be lots more!! Anyway back to sleep now I've calmed down, had a read of a few other diaries and I wish everyone luck and success on this journey.

 

[MrsBeaver]

Oh Sunny, sorry to hear you are having to deal with all these emotions. But I guess it also has a positive that you recognize them and can work through them.

Unreal that you are being bullied at work because of your size! Report it!!!

 

[sunnyJ]

Hi Mrs b ,

Thank you

I'm not actually being bullied at work that was just my dream it was just so real ... You know one of those where you are all confused about what is real when you come round.

X

It's just my brain spitting out some stuff that needs clearing out I think! ;-)

 

[MrsBeaver]

Oh right lol....glad to hear that!!!! I am lucky so far, have not had any weird dreams (unless you count being part of the sons of anarchy, but thats probably because I am watching the boxset lol).

 

[sunnyJ]

Lol

 

[sunnyJ]

So today I'm hungry or at least I was ..., had 2 shakes and 2 soups (from my post op diet box) and 3 tbsp spoon of yoghurt mixed with milk .... And it's only 3.45 !!

This is like doing exante ....!!!

My provider suggests (from the liquid phase diet book)

1 or 2 100ml yoghurt a or cuppa soup .. Or small glass of unsweetened fruit juice ....

I might just have another shake for my tea I'm sure it's the same and probably less calories than a cuppa soup , which incidentally I don't have.

Although in fairness I'm not actually hungry at the mo... So I'll wait and see hmm *potters off to do something else*

On an aside - Can anyone remember how long until we can drive?

 

[sundown]

I think this sort of surgery throws up all sorts of emotional issues as time goes on. Many of us have been overweight since children and there's a lot of baggage that goes with that I think.

It sounds as though you were doing grand with food too sunny. I am struggling to get to 400 cal a day at the moment, but I'm not going to worry about it until I am on solid food again.

I have just done all my measurements today, waist, hips, chest, calf, thigh, neck and arms. I'm going to track the progress in the measurements as I think that is far more telling the numbers on the scale.

 

[MrsBeaver]

I drove yesterday for the first time, so 6 days post op.

I am the same today, big appetite. So far I had a shake, a small tub of skyr, half a pack of soup, and then over the rest of the afternoon a big tub of skyr. full now thank god!!!!

I want solid food!

 

[sunnyJ]

Opposites daisy thank you and soup sounds great

 

[sunnyJ]

So since my earlier filling up with soup n shakes I've had 3 tlbsp of yoghurt with milk (made to a liquid). I'm full now though, which is odd.

Also one of my dressings has fallen off, (which is no panic I was supposed to be removing it tomorrow) the puncture wound underneath is tiny I mean tiny .. Like a very small mole! I'm seriously shocked how small it is!

It'll get easier sundown with the food, you've had a bigger op than me so it will take a little longer! Measurements are a good idea, and thank you x

I tell you what though I'm really glad I did a few months of exante earlier this year because it's sort of given me the experience to do this. I'd have been in serious shock of I'd gone for the band last year when I didn't even know if I could stick to a diet for longer than 2 weeks (ok bit of an exaggeration) unless it was sw where I could binge on veg!

Aha Mrs b if you have driven I'll give it a go maybe Sunday .. It will have been a week then! I'm actually starting to enjoy myself at home now... I've watched some programmes I've been meaning to watch .. I'm currently introducing my son to Star Trek the next generation (yes I'm a Trekkie)! How's sons of anarchy? I did wonder about starting the box set but I haven't as yet.

And today I've bought my new car !!! Yay just got to work out how to pay for it ? now meep!! So best get back to work!! Lol

 

[sunnyJ]

Thanks opsie I think I'll give it a go Sunday back to work Tuesday with a 30 mile each way commute so hopefully it'll be ok.

 

[sunnyJ]

One thing I am finding hard is not having a bath!! I didn't realise how much I bathe, to soak my aching bones lol

 

[sunnyJ]

If your tummy is a bit tender, put a folded towel under the seat belt against your tummy to take the pressure off x x x

Oo good idea thanks, I'll do that x x

 

[sunnyJ]

Ah good idea thanks I'll do that x x

Oops still getting used to working this app!!

 

[MrsBeaver]

SoA is pretty awesome. I enjoy it a lot ?.

 

[sunnyJ]

If you cough or sneeze, hold a cushion ( or a firm hand ) over your port side, I still do that now x

Lol I'm doing that with my tummy button wound at the mo! Tbh I don't know where my port is yet ... No pain anywhere and no real lump? I'm sure it's in there somewhere... It must be!

 

[sunnyJ]

So more emotions coming tonight...
Panic, fear (of certain situations) realisations of how selfish Ive been over the last God knows how many yrs .., and I can't eat to make it go away because from now on I'm not eating to make things go away... I'm eating to live.